~*~Disclaimer=me no own~*~Another one shot based on a conversation me and
my mates had about the men on Enterprise just something kinda silly but
hey! No matter~*~
Hoshi smiled as she entered the mess hall. It was in the early hours of the morning and she hadn't honestly expected to find anyone there and was actually just searching for some hot drink that might help her sleep but Jay Richards, Katie Wootten and Holly Meneer were already in there, still in their pyjamas so she assumed they couldn't sleep either. She knew Katie and Holly by name and reputation but never really got the chance to talk to them. She knew Jay quite well and had realised within five seconds of meeting her that the girl was completely tactless and about as subtle as a giant sledgehammer.
"I tell you what though his eyes are amazing!" Katie sighed. "Could look at them all day."
"I suppose," Holly replied doubtfully. "But I still say that his arse is definitely nicer."
They hadn't noticed her standing there so she cleared her throat.
"Hiya!" Jay gave her a winning smile completely oblivious to the fact her friends had horrified looks on their faces. "You wanna join us?"
Hoshi sat down and watched Katie and Holly shuffle uncomfortably.
"So who do you think is the better man then? Lieutenant Reed? Commander Tucker? Ensign Mayweather? Or maybe you're a Captain Archer girl?" Jay asked mischievously, enjoying her friend's discomfort.
Hoshi burst into surprised laughter. Katie looked absolutely mortified while Holly blushed and swatted Jay.
"Oh grow up you two! Hoshi won't tell them!" Jay assured them, she turned back to Hoshi. "So you've been around them most of the time which one do you like best? Body wise I mean."
"Why? Which one do you like?" Hoshi asked making a mental note to use the information to torture the boys with later on.
"Mmmm, definitely Reed," Jay replied dreamily.
"You're blind! Mayweather has a body to die for!" Holly exclaimed.
"Both of you are insane; everybody with half decent eyesight knows that Tucker is the best hands down!" Katie cried.
Hoshi laughed as all three women fell silent with thoughtful looks on their faces.
"Mind you," Jay ventured. "Archer doesn't have a bad arse considering he's pushing 40."
"Archer?!?!?!?" They all exclaimed simultaneously.
"Oh there, there," said Katie patting her head.
Jay blushed.
"I know! Let's make the perfect guy!" Holly announced. "Using only body parts from any of the aforementioned men."
"Don't worry, this conversation goes no further," Jay promised seeing the apprehensive look on Hoshi's face.
"Alright then Malcolm's hair," Hoshi offered.
Jay nodded in agreement.
"Travis' body! C'mon you have to admit it's incredible........"
"Fine! Malcolm's hair, Travis' body."
"Tuckers eyes," said Katie dreamily resting her head on her hand.
Jay sighed.
Hoshi suppressed a giggle; she couldn't believe what she was hearing, four men she saw everyday being dissected to create 'The Perfect Man'.
"Tuckers eyes? Reeds are much nicer," said Holly doubtfully.
"Reeds?" Katie asked in disbelief. "But his are all cold and icy!"
She shuddered to emphasize her point.
"No they aren't!" said Hoshi without thinking. "They're all warm and intense............"
"Ah!! Hoshi likes Malcolm!" they teased.
Hoshi blushed and held up her hands.
"At least it's not as bad as Jays Archer fetish," she shot back grinning.
"Lets just agree on Reeds eyes!" said Jay loudly over the top of the others laughter.
"Ok so we have..................Reeds eyes and hair, Travis' body........." Holly began
"Trips smile!" Katie exclaimed bouncing up and down. "You'd have to be blind not to notice that fabulous smile of his!"
"Yeah, he does have a great smile," Holly admitted.
Jay nodded in agreement.
"All warm and friendly."
There was a pause while they tried to think of something else.
"ARCHERS ARSE!" Jay exclaimed suddenly.
Katie rolled her eyes.
"You need serious help."
"Hey look, I'm not one to deny a magnificent arse like that-admit it-you've all looked!"
Katie and Holly didn't reply. Hoshi had to agree-when she first met him she had had a sneaky peak but it was beyond thinking about imagining herself in a romantic entanglement with him.
"Tuckers nose," Katie piped up.
"You actually stare at his nose? And you said I needed help........."
"I totally embrace to fact that I find him deeply attractive."
"So," Hoshi prompted. "We have Malcolm's eyes and hair, Trip's smile and nose, Travis' body and Archers............behind."
"Now for the most important part," said Jay mischievously.
"Let's not go there," said Hoshi quickly. "I still have to face these guys tomorrow remember?"
"Ah spoilsport!"
"She has a point though," Katie said chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. "Saying that though judging by a certain Engineers track record....................."
"You're insane," Holly muttered.
"Ooo, that is quite a good guy we've created.....................if only he existed," Jay sighed.
"In your dreams mate."
"Precisely."
"JAY! FOR GODS SAKE! That was a mental image I didn't need!" Holly cried hitting her.
"You pray its just some sort of nightmare or drug induced hallucination but no she really did just say that," said Katie burying her face in her hands.
"I'd say however that overall Lieutenant Reed is my favourite, no contest," Jay announced.
"We know who you like!" they said in unison as Katie opened her mouth to speak.
"C'mon spill Hoshi," said Jay.
"Holly hasn't said who she likes yet!" Hoshi protested, trying to avoid answering the question.
"Oh we know Holly likes Travis," said Jay airily. "It's your turn-we won't tell anyone-will we girls?"
"Would we do that?" Katie asked in mock offence.
"I don't have to answer you know," said Hoshi wondering if she could get away with pulling rank on them.
"She's right you know she doesn't," Holly commented. "She could pull rank."
"On the other hand," Katie continued.
"We wanna know," Jay ended.
Hoshi sighed and then smiled inwardly.
"I'm sorry ladies but I'm afraid I'll have to leave your company to go to sleep," she said with a perfectly straight face. "I'll see you later."
"Fine then, bye Hoshi," said Jay disappointedly.
Hoshi briefly wondered why they let it slide before shrugging and leaving.
They waited till she was gone before turning to each other.
"She likes Reed."
"Yup so obvious."
"It's the only possible solution, Travis is like a brother, Archer is well............Archer."
"Hey! He's not that bad!"
"Quiet you, anyway where was I?"
"Archer just being Archer."
"Right, so that only leaves Trip and Reed."
"And obviously Reed and Hoshi like each other; their body language is screaming it."
"What on Earth are you on about? Since when did you become an expert in body language?"
"Look I think we're all agreed she's a Reed girl."
"Definitely."
There was a pause.
"I'm knackered now."
"Me too, drooling over hot guys is hard work!"
They all nodded in agreement and got up to leave.
"You know what?"
"Shut up Jay."
~*~You don't have to review, it's not the best thing I've ever done I know but I did warn you it was kinda stupid lol~*~
Hoshi smiled as she entered the mess hall. It was in the early hours of the morning and she hadn't honestly expected to find anyone there and was actually just searching for some hot drink that might help her sleep but Jay Richards, Katie Wootten and Holly Meneer were already in there, still in their pyjamas so she assumed they couldn't sleep either. She knew Katie and Holly by name and reputation but never really got the chance to talk to them. She knew Jay quite well and had realised within five seconds of meeting her that the girl was completely tactless and about as subtle as a giant sledgehammer.
"I tell you what though his eyes are amazing!" Katie sighed. "Could look at them all day."
"I suppose," Holly replied doubtfully. "But I still say that his arse is definitely nicer."
They hadn't noticed her standing there so she cleared her throat.
"Hiya!" Jay gave her a winning smile completely oblivious to the fact her friends had horrified looks on their faces. "You wanna join us?"
Hoshi sat down and watched Katie and Holly shuffle uncomfortably.
"So who do you think is the better man then? Lieutenant Reed? Commander Tucker? Ensign Mayweather? Or maybe you're a Captain Archer girl?" Jay asked mischievously, enjoying her friend's discomfort.
Hoshi burst into surprised laughter. Katie looked absolutely mortified while Holly blushed and swatted Jay.
"Oh grow up you two! Hoshi won't tell them!" Jay assured them, she turned back to Hoshi. "So you've been around them most of the time which one do you like best? Body wise I mean."
"Why? Which one do you like?" Hoshi asked making a mental note to use the information to torture the boys with later on.
"Mmmm, definitely Reed," Jay replied dreamily.
"You're blind! Mayweather has a body to die for!" Holly exclaimed.
"Both of you are insane; everybody with half decent eyesight knows that Tucker is the best hands down!" Katie cried.
Hoshi laughed as all three women fell silent with thoughtful looks on their faces.
"Mind you," Jay ventured. "Archer doesn't have a bad arse considering he's pushing 40."
"Archer?!?!?!?" They all exclaimed simultaneously.
"Oh there, there," said Katie patting her head.
Jay blushed.
"I know! Let's make the perfect guy!" Holly announced. "Using only body parts from any of the aforementioned men."
"Don't worry, this conversation goes no further," Jay promised seeing the apprehensive look on Hoshi's face.
"Alright then Malcolm's hair," Hoshi offered.
Jay nodded in agreement.
"Travis' body! C'mon you have to admit it's incredible........"
"Fine! Malcolm's hair, Travis' body."
"Tuckers eyes," said Katie dreamily resting her head on her hand.
Jay sighed.
Hoshi suppressed a giggle; she couldn't believe what she was hearing, four men she saw everyday being dissected to create 'The Perfect Man'.
"Tuckers eyes? Reeds are much nicer," said Holly doubtfully.
"Reeds?" Katie asked in disbelief. "But his are all cold and icy!"
She shuddered to emphasize her point.
"No they aren't!" said Hoshi without thinking. "They're all warm and intense............"
"Ah!! Hoshi likes Malcolm!" they teased.
Hoshi blushed and held up her hands.
"At least it's not as bad as Jays Archer fetish," she shot back grinning.
"Lets just agree on Reeds eyes!" said Jay loudly over the top of the others laughter.
"Ok so we have..................Reeds eyes and hair, Travis' body........." Holly began
"Trips smile!" Katie exclaimed bouncing up and down. "You'd have to be blind not to notice that fabulous smile of his!"
"Yeah, he does have a great smile," Holly admitted.
Jay nodded in agreement.
"All warm and friendly."
There was a pause while they tried to think of something else.
"ARCHERS ARSE!" Jay exclaimed suddenly.
Katie rolled her eyes.
"You need serious help."
"Hey look, I'm not one to deny a magnificent arse like that-admit it-you've all looked!"
Katie and Holly didn't reply. Hoshi had to agree-when she first met him she had had a sneaky peak but it was beyond thinking about imagining herself in a romantic entanglement with him.
"Tuckers nose," Katie piped up.
"You actually stare at his nose? And you said I needed help........."
"I totally embrace to fact that I find him deeply attractive."
"So," Hoshi prompted. "We have Malcolm's eyes and hair, Trip's smile and nose, Travis' body and Archers............behind."
"Now for the most important part," said Jay mischievously.
"Let's not go there," said Hoshi quickly. "I still have to face these guys tomorrow remember?"
"Ah spoilsport!"
"She has a point though," Katie said chewing her bottom lip thoughtfully. "Saying that though judging by a certain Engineers track record....................."
"You're insane," Holly muttered.
"Ooo, that is quite a good guy we've created.....................if only he existed," Jay sighed.
"In your dreams mate."
"Precisely."
"JAY! FOR GODS SAKE! That was a mental image I didn't need!" Holly cried hitting her.
"You pray its just some sort of nightmare or drug induced hallucination but no she really did just say that," said Katie burying her face in her hands.
"I'd say however that overall Lieutenant Reed is my favourite, no contest," Jay announced.
"We know who you like!" they said in unison as Katie opened her mouth to speak.
"C'mon spill Hoshi," said Jay.
"Holly hasn't said who she likes yet!" Hoshi protested, trying to avoid answering the question.
"Oh we know Holly likes Travis," said Jay airily. "It's your turn-we won't tell anyone-will we girls?"
"Would we do that?" Katie asked in mock offence.
"I don't have to answer you know," said Hoshi wondering if she could get away with pulling rank on them.
"She's right you know she doesn't," Holly commented. "She could pull rank."
"On the other hand," Katie continued.
"We wanna know," Jay ended.
Hoshi sighed and then smiled inwardly.
"I'm sorry ladies but I'm afraid I'll have to leave your company to go to sleep," she said with a perfectly straight face. "I'll see you later."
"Fine then, bye Hoshi," said Jay disappointedly.
Hoshi briefly wondered why they let it slide before shrugging and leaving.
They waited till she was gone before turning to each other.
"She likes Reed."
"Yup so obvious."
"It's the only possible solution, Travis is like a brother, Archer is well............Archer."
"Hey! He's not that bad!"
"Quiet you, anyway where was I?"
"Archer just being Archer."
"Right, so that only leaves Trip and Reed."
"And obviously Reed and Hoshi like each other; their body language is screaming it."
"What on Earth are you on about? Since when did you become an expert in body language?"
"Look I think we're all agreed she's a Reed girl."
"Definitely."
There was a pause.
"I'm knackered now."
"Me too, drooling over hot guys is hard work!"
They all nodded in agreement and got up to leave.
"You know what?"
"Shut up Jay."
~*~You don't have to review, it's not the best thing I've ever done I know but I did warn you it was kinda stupid lol~*~