Too Much Rain
by Trish
(trishlovesedison@hotmail.com)
# # # # # # # # # # #
ONE
# # # # # # # # # # #
Thunder crashed. The sound of it echoed through the sky. Raindrops pelted
angrily against the window pane as the wind howled violently.
Yet the girl snuggled in his arms didn't wake. Instead, she pressed herself
closer against him, filling him head to toe with warmth.
Doumyouji Tsukasa couldn't control the sigh of contentment that slipped
between his lips.
This was bliss.
After all those long months of loneliness, fear, anger, rejection... It
seemed like his luck was finally starting to turn around. He was seriously
dating Makino Tsukushi, the girl he loved and the girl who loved him back.
His mother (who he'd crowned 'the Evil Bitch Queen') had promised not to
interfere with his or Tsukushi's life for an entire year. And to top it off,
his relationship with said girlfriend had finally reached the next level.
He couldn't begin to express how greatful he was that it hadn't taken the
five years she'd estimated for her to be ready to do 'that'.
The act itself was mind-numbingly, vision-impairingly fantastic. But that
wasn't the only reason he'd been so desperate to do it.
Everytime they'd ever come close before she'd pushed him away. Sometimes,
she did it in the literal sense... And it was really more of an enraged
shove accompanied by her demanding 'what the hell are you doing, perv!?'.
But sometimes she'd start to cry and she'd beg for him to stop before they
had ever really started. Either way, he always ended up feeling rejected and
unwanted.
She never talked to him about why she was afraid or why she wasn't ready. He
was left to agonize over it himself. Was she really just THAT much of a
prude? Was he undesirable in someway? If it was how people expressed their
love, why was she so unwilling to do it?
In typical Doumyouji fashion, he jumped to the conclusion that made HER look
like the bad guy, and him, the ever-suffering boyfriend.
'She doesn't trust me. We've been together this long, and she doesn't
believe that I won't hurt her.'
He'd always sort of resented her inhibitions with him, and he voiced them as
often as possible. In the end, it always made him sound like a pervert, or a
sex fiend, or a jerk...
He and Tsukushi were just no good at communication.
Then came that fateful day.
He'd showed up in her neighborhood, newly unamnesia-ed. After the shock wore
off (and after the pop quiz she'd sprung on him), she proceeded to vent
weeks and weeks of frustration and lonliness on him. She'd bruised him up
something awful, and he was rightfully annoyed with her.
That is, until the waterworks started. She-- along with the grocery bag she
was carrying-- fell to the floor. Through her tears she called him an idiot,
a moron, a bastard. But she didn't mean it. There was no vehemence in her
voice; just all the sadness she'd kept hidden away because she was afraid to
show anyone else.
He understood this because he understood her. No matter what anyone else
said-- Rui, Amakusa, Amon-- he knew his girl.
So he'd gone to the cold concrete sidewalk with her, and he'd wrapped his
arms around her while she cried on his shoulder. He wanted to cry too, just
because she was in so much pain. But he didn't, because he wasn't sad. The
sky was blue, Umi was gone, his mother was in another country, and they
could finally be together. There was nothing to be sad about.
Tsukushi seemed to realize this too, and her tears subsided. For probably
the first time, she kissed him in broad daylight where the whole world could
see them. And of course he had no choice but to return that kiss. He could
taste the sadness, and the lonliness, and the want in it. So he pressed his
lips against her harder so she knew for certain that this was real and that
this was forever.
One thing led to another and before either of them realized it, they were
all the way back at Doumyouji's mansion, in Doumyouji's bed, clinging
tightly to each other.
"You know Tsukasa," she'd said after, not noticing she'd called him by his
first name, "I didn't want to admit this to you at first, but the reason I
wouldn't do this with you is because of that time before."
"That time before?"
"Back when I still loved Hanazawa Rui and you found out."
He didn't say anything, but he'd drawn himself very stiff and he hugged her
a little less tighter. He was ashamed of what he almost did to her. He
didn't like to remember that incident at all. She'd been crying and
screaming and begging for him to stop. And while he did eventually, he never
apologized. He'd blamed her. And he'd carried that lustful want of her
inside of himself ever since.
"It's not that I was still mad or anything. I was just afraid that you'd
only do what felt good for you. You know, I thought you'd be really rough
and forceful. And I also thought that if I told you to stop, you'd be so
into it, you wouldn't."
A moment or two passed before he replied, his tone revealing nothing, "Is
that so? How come you wanted to do it now?"
He would never forget the look on her face as she answered him. Her eyes
were bright and happy, and her cheeks were tinged a bright, rosy color, "I
had the feeling that I really wouldn't WANT to stop, no matter what. And I
knew, by the way you were holding me back there, that you would never hurt
me if you could help it."
And he couldn't help but fall in love with her all over again.
Since that first time, they'd done it only once and awhile. Makino Tsukushi
was an extremely busy person and she very rarely had any space on her
schedule for relaxation, pleasure, or recreation. And on top of that, she
didn't want her little brother to find out about the types of activites she
engaged in when she didn't come home some nights. It should have been fairly
obvious already, but Susumu wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.
As he gave it more thought, Doumyouji grew increasingly annoyed by the lack
of time she actually spent with him. They had a little less than a year to
be together before that witch came back and started up just where she'd left
off: with the blackmail, and the SP's, and God knows what else she'd have up
her sleeve after a whole year of plotting. He had full confidence that she
would NOT succeed in tearing them apart, but he knew things were going to be
difficult for him and Tsukushi. And in that case, he had no idea why she so
rarely fulfilled her girlfriend duties.
Not just sex, but snuggling and talking and complimenting (not that she'd
ever done a lot of that last one). He and Tsukushi had never done a lot of
the things he understood most couples did. For instance, they'd never gone
clubbing, ridden on one of those stupid two-person bikes, fed each other
grapes, dressed in matching outfits, sang a love duet, gotten identical
tatoos... Doumyouji realized that a few of those were decidedly unappealing
to him, but he wanted to share all sorts of experiences with her.
He was happiest when he was with her, but she was barely around. She always
had to study, or work, or do chores, or cater to her whiney friends. He
figured a good chunk of what she wasted her time on could be devoted to him
instead if she just stopped being stubborn and agreed to let him take care
of her.
He'd pay for her bills. Then she could quit the two jobs she was working.
He'd pay for her college tuition. Then she didn't have to study so hard so
she could get good grades, and eventually scholarships. And if she lived
with him-- maybe not IN his room exactly, Tama would never allow it-- he
could have meals with her, see her in the morning, see her before she went
to bed at night.
Doumyouji was aware that his train of thought was rather selfish and
possessive. But he loved Tsukushi. She made him happy. What was so wrong
with wanting to be happy? He'd promised her not that long ago that he would
make her happy too. And there was no way she could be happy constantly
stressed out over finals or making final payments on the rent. He didn't
think it was fair for her to have so much weight on her shoulders. She had
to take care of her brother, her friends, her parents, and sometimes she had
to take care of him too. She had to take care of so many people that she
didn't always take care of herself. Her priorities were all over the place.
She didn't always get enough sleep, she sometimes didn't allow herself a
social life, she skipped meals every now and then, and even though he knew
she loved to be with him, she denied herself even that in favor of having to
work a six hour shift at such and such restaurant.
His Tsukushi was independant, busy, and hardworking. He loved it about her,
but he also hated it. She was wearing herself to the ground. She'd become so
used to being in charge and taking care of everyone around her that she
didn't know when enough was enough.
He wanted to be the one to take care of her.
People always told them that they had so much in common: the loudness, the
brashness, the anger, the violence. But in some ways they were also complete
opposites. Tsukushi was the girl everybody relied on. She had to work hard
for everything. He was just a spoiled rich boy who had the money to buy and
do anything he wanted. He'd never had to take care of anyone before. He'd
never wanted to.
But things were different now.
"Tsukushi," he whispered softly to the sleeping girl in his arms, "From now
on, you can depend on me." He hugged her closer to his bare chest. The
action roused her a little bit and in her half awakened-slumber, she made a
cute sound of protest.
"Tsukasa," she half-whined, struggling against his tight embrace. He
loosened up a bit, and she relaxed within his arms. "Mmm, thank you," she
murmured, then promptly fell back asleep.
Doumyouji shifted his eyes from the petite girl lying against him, to the
ceiling above. Even though he was staring at it intently, his mind was too
preoccupied to take in what he was seeing. How he could possibly get his
girlfriend-- his frustratingly stubborn and proud girlfriend-- to allow
herself to depend on another human being? Himself, namely.
Thunder struck again. His eyes had snapped abruptly to the window as soon as
he heard the sound. The drapes were partially open and he could see the dark
sky and the sheets of water flowing down his window pane.
'It's raining really hard', he observed.
He didn't know it at the time, but Doumyouji's unformulated plan was already
starting to unfold.
# # # # # # # # # # #
A GREAT MANY NOTES: Uh... Okay. That really didn't turn out the way it was
supposed to. It's kind of corny and disjointed. =( I don't know what
happened. I rambled on about their relationship for a long time! And then I
started to write about something that didn't have to do with the thing I
originally planned to write about. @.@ If you have any suggestions or
questions or comments, e-mail me. Go nuts. And if you're wondering, I am
going somewhere with this 'rain' thing. It's not just irrelevant BS.
More notes: The title of the story is from an ATB song. It's raining a lot
where I live. That's where I got the idea for this 'fic. I don't really do a
lot of kissy-kissy, WAFF scenes so if this seems really terrible bear with
me. Personally, I've experienced a lot of the physical but never the
emotional of kissing, so I have a difficult time putting into words what I
imagine people who are ACTUALLY in love feel. Doumyouji doesn't know that
Tsukushi depends on Rui (will he find out? who knows). And last but not
least... Tsukushi and Doumyouji are DOING IT?! What the hell!? It took them
a BAJILLION years to start dating, and I've got them boinking already!? And
without the proper amount of drama and romance a relationship such as
their's entails? Blame it on the fact that I'm taking a Sexuality class in
school, and there seems to be so many justifications for doing it now that
I've carried on my newly-formed beliefs to my writing.
by Trish
(trishlovesedison@hotmail.com)
# # # # # # # # # # #
ONE
# # # # # # # # # # #
Thunder crashed. The sound of it echoed through the sky. Raindrops pelted
angrily against the window pane as the wind howled violently.
Yet the girl snuggled in his arms didn't wake. Instead, she pressed herself
closer against him, filling him head to toe with warmth.
Doumyouji Tsukasa couldn't control the sigh of contentment that slipped
between his lips.
This was bliss.
After all those long months of loneliness, fear, anger, rejection... It
seemed like his luck was finally starting to turn around. He was seriously
dating Makino Tsukushi, the girl he loved and the girl who loved him back.
His mother (who he'd crowned 'the Evil Bitch Queen') had promised not to
interfere with his or Tsukushi's life for an entire year. And to top it off,
his relationship with said girlfriend had finally reached the next level.
He couldn't begin to express how greatful he was that it hadn't taken the
five years she'd estimated for her to be ready to do 'that'.
The act itself was mind-numbingly, vision-impairingly fantastic. But that
wasn't the only reason he'd been so desperate to do it.
Everytime they'd ever come close before she'd pushed him away. Sometimes,
she did it in the literal sense... And it was really more of an enraged
shove accompanied by her demanding 'what the hell are you doing, perv!?'.
But sometimes she'd start to cry and she'd beg for him to stop before they
had ever really started. Either way, he always ended up feeling rejected and
unwanted.
She never talked to him about why she was afraid or why she wasn't ready. He
was left to agonize over it himself. Was she really just THAT much of a
prude? Was he undesirable in someway? If it was how people expressed their
love, why was she so unwilling to do it?
In typical Doumyouji fashion, he jumped to the conclusion that made HER look
like the bad guy, and him, the ever-suffering boyfriend.
'She doesn't trust me. We've been together this long, and she doesn't
believe that I won't hurt her.'
He'd always sort of resented her inhibitions with him, and he voiced them as
often as possible. In the end, it always made him sound like a pervert, or a
sex fiend, or a jerk...
He and Tsukushi were just no good at communication.
Then came that fateful day.
He'd showed up in her neighborhood, newly unamnesia-ed. After the shock wore
off (and after the pop quiz she'd sprung on him), she proceeded to vent
weeks and weeks of frustration and lonliness on him. She'd bruised him up
something awful, and he was rightfully annoyed with her.
That is, until the waterworks started. She-- along with the grocery bag she
was carrying-- fell to the floor. Through her tears she called him an idiot,
a moron, a bastard. But she didn't mean it. There was no vehemence in her
voice; just all the sadness she'd kept hidden away because she was afraid to
show anyone else.
He understood this because he understood her. No matter what anyone else
said-- Rui, Amakusa, Amon-- he knew his girl.
So he'd gone to the cold concrete sidewalk with her, and he'd wrapped his
arms around her while she cried on his shoulder. He wanted to cry too, just
because she was in so much pain. But he didn't, because he wasn't sad. The
sky was blue, Umi was gone, his mother was in another country, and they
could finally be together. There was nothing to be sad about.
Tsukushi seemed to realize this too, and her tears subsided. For probably
the first time, she kissed him in broad daylight where the whole world could
see them. And of course he had no choice but to return that kiss. He could
taste the sadness, and the lonliness, and the want in it. So he pressed his
lips against her harder so she knew for certain that this was real and that
this was forever.
One thing led to another and before either of them realized it, they were
all the way back at Doumyouji's mansion, in Doumyouji's bed, clinging
tightly to each other.
"You know Tsukasa," she'd said after, not noticing she'd called him by his
first name, "I didn't want to admit this to you at first, but the reason I
wouldn't do this with you is because of that time before."
"That time before?"
"Back when I still loved Hanazawa Rui and you found out."
He didn't say anything, but he'd drawn himself very stiff and he hugged her
a little less tighter. He was ashamed of what he almost did to her. He
didn't like to remember that incident at all. She'd been crying and
screaming and begging for him to stop. And while he did eventually, he never
apologized. He'd blamed her. And he'd carried that lustful want of her
inside of himself ever since.
"It's not that I was still mad or anything. I was just afraid that you'd
only do what felt good for you. You know, I thought you'd be really rough
and forceful. And I also thought that if I told you to stop, you'd be so
into it, you wouldn't."
A moment or two passed before he replied, his tone revealing nothing, "Is
that so? How come you wanted to do it now?"
He would never forget the look on her face as she answered him. Her eyes
were bright and happy, and her cheeks were tinged a bright, rosy color, "I
had the feeling that I really wouldn't WANT to stop, no matter what. And I
knew, by the way you were holding me back there, that you would never hurt
me if you could help it."
And he couldn't help but fall in love with her all over again.
Since that first time, they'd done it only once and awhile. Makino Tsukushi
was an extremely busy person and she very rarely had any space on her
schedule for relaxation, pleasure, or recreation. And on top of that, she
didn't want her little brother to find out about the types of activites she
engaged in when she didn't come home some nights. It should have been fairly
obvious already, but Susumu wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.
As he gave it more thought, Doumyouji grew increasingly annoyed by the lack
of time she actually spent with him. They had a little less than a year to
be together before that witch came back and started up just where she'd left
off: with the blackmail, and the SP's, and God knows what else she'd have up
her sleeve after a whole year of plotting. He had full confidence that she
would NOT succeed in tearing them apart, but he knew things were going to be
difficult for him and Tsukushi. And in that case, he had no idea why she so
rarely fulfilled her girlfriend duties.
Not just sex, but snuggling and talking and complimenting (not that she'd
ever done a lot of that last one). He and Tsukushi had never done a lot of
the things he understood most couples did. For instance, they'd never gone
clubbing, ridden on one of those stupid two-person bikes, fed each other
grapes, dressed in matching outfits, sang a love duet, gotten identical
tatoos... Doumyouji realized that a few of those were decidedly unappealing
to him, but he wanted to share all sorts of experiences with her.
He was happiest when he was with her, but she was barely around. She always
had to study, or work, or do chores, or cater to her whiney friends. He
figured a good chunk of what she wasted her time on could be devoted to him
instead if she just stopped being stubborn and agreed to let him take care
of her.
He'd pay for her bills. Then she could quit the two jobs she was working.
He'd pay for her college tuition. Then she didn't have to study so hard so
she could get good grades, and eventually scholarships. And if she lived
with him-- maybe not IN his room exactly, Tama would never allow it-- he
could have meals with her, see her in the morning, see her before she went
to bed at night.
Doumyouji was aware that his train of thought was rather selfish and
possessive. But he loved Tsukushi. She made him happy. What was so wrong
with wanting to be happy? He'd promised her not that long ago that he would
make her happy too. And there was no way she could be happy constantly
stressed out over finals or making final payments on the rent. He didn't
think it was fair for her to have so much weight on her shoulders. She had
to take care of her brother, her friends, her parents, and sometimes she had
to take care of him too. She had to take care of so many people that she
didn't always take care of herself. Her priorities were all over the place.
She didn't always get enough sleep, she sometimes didn't allow herself a
social life, she skipped meals every now and then, and even though he knew
she loved to be with him, she denied herself even that in favor of having to
work a six hour shift at such and such restaurant.
His Tsukushi was independant, busy, and hardworking. He loved it about her,
but he also hated it. She was wearing herself to the ground. She'd become so
used to being in charge and taking care of everyone around her that she
didn't know when enough was enough.
He wanted to be the one to take care of her.
People always told them that they had so much in common: the loudness, the
brashness, the anger, the violence. But in some ways they were also complete
opposites. Tsukushi was the girl everybody relied on. She had to work hard
for everything. He was just a spoiled rich boy who had the money to buy and
do anything he wanted. He'd never had to take care of anyone before. He'd
never wanted to.
But things were different now.
"Tsukushi," he whispered softly to the sleeping girl in his arms, "From now
on, you can depend on me." He hugged her closer to his bare chest. The
action roused her a little bit and in her half awakened-slumber, she made a
cute sound of protest.
"Tsukasa," she half-whined, struggling against his tight embrace. He
loosened up a bit, and she relaxed within his arms. "Mmm, thank you," she
murmured, then promptly fell back asleep.
Doumyouji shifted his eyes from the petite girl lying against him, to the
ceiling above. Even though he was staring at it intently, his mind was too
preoccupied to take in what he was seeing. How he could possibly get his
girlfriend-- his frustratingly stubborn and proud girlfriend-- to allow
herself to depend on another human being? Himself, namely.
Thunder struck again. His eyes had snapped abruptly to the window as soon as
he heard the sound. The drapes were partially open and he could see the dark
sky and the sheets of water flowing down his window pane.
'It's raining really hard', he observed.
He didn't know it at the time, but Doumyouji's unformulated plan was already
starting to unfold.
# # # # # # # # # # #
A GREAT MANY NOTES: Uh... Okay. That really didn't turn out the way it was
supposed to. It's kind of corny and disjointed. =( I don't know what
happened. I rambled on about their relationship for a long time! And then I
started to write about something that didn't have to do with the thing I
originally planned to write about. @.@ If you have any suggestions or
questions or comments, e-mail me. Go nuts. And if you're wondering, I am
going somewhere with this 'rain' thing. It's not just irrelevant BS.
More notes: The title of the story is from an ATB song. It's raining a lot
where I live. That's where I got the idea for this 'fic. I don't really do a
lot of kissy-kissy, WAFF scenes so if this seems really terrible bear with
me. Personally, I've experienced a lot of the physical but never the
emotional of kissing, so I have a difficult time putting into words what I
imagine people who are ACTUALLY in love feel. Doumyouji doesn't know that
Tsukushi depends on Rui (will he find out? who knows). And last but not
least... Tsukushi and Doumyouji are DOING IT?! What the hell!? It took them
a BAJILLION years to start dating, and I've got them boinking already!? And
without the proper amount of drama and romance a relationship such as
their's entails? Blame it on the fact that I'm taking a Sexuality class in
school, and there seems to be so many justifications for doing it now that
I've carried on my newly-formed beliefs to my writing.