Author's Note: First off, I do not own Phineas and Ferb. This is the first chapter of what may turn out to be an ongoing series, depending on the amount of reviews, follows, and favorites that I receive. It is the first multi-chapter fanfic I have ever gone about writing, so feedback and tips would be much appreciated. Man, I'm glad I got that off my chest. Anyway, on with the story…
Chapter 1: Lose Yourself
(i.e. Regarding All Things That I Do Not Understand.)
Women: the bane of my existence. I do believe that I would swear them off entirely if my brother Ferb wasn't always there to convince me that one day, ONE DAY, it will all be worth it. It just, it sucks, you know? Every day, 23 times before lunch, 32 times before the final school bell rings, and countless more times after school, I see it. I see them. Together. Isabella and Collin.
It's not that I'm not happy for Isabella because I am. I'm happy that she's met someone who makes her smile. I'm happy that she's met someone that makes her laugh. I'm happy that she's met someone who treats her right. I'm happy that she's met someone who adores her as much as she deserves to be. I'm happy that she's met a nice guy (you get the point). I am. It's just really exasperating, and I don't know why.
Ferb laughed when I told him about this ridiculous infuriation I feel, yet don't understand. He's been doing that a lot lately (so much that I'm slightly concerned he's on drugs when I speak to him). I don't really know why he laughs so much, because it's not funny, but I'm guessing he's laughing at me. It makes me a little agitated, and not just at him, but also at Isabella because she's the cause of all of these maddening feelings. It's her fault.
And the thing is, I don't think that Isabella would ever want to or try to hurt me. She's the sweetest girl I've ever met, and I usually enjoy her company. So, why then does seeing her affect me the way it does? Why do I feel like she's vexing me? Why do I always feel the anxiety, the clammy hands, and that weird tingly feeling coming when I see her turning her head in English class ( because she sits in front of me) to speak to me? Why does frustration shoot through my body like a lightning bolt when I see her eyeing, or kissing, or holding hands with her boyfriend, Collin?
And that brings me to another thing I don't understand. You see, I like Collin. He's a cool guy, and I've already explained how good of a boyfriend he is to Isabella. But, you see, the thing is that when I see him and Isabella, I get angry, and I don't even have a reason to be angry. I just see them together and feel this totally foreign frustration and hostility building up inside me. And sometimes, I think I actually want to punch him. I don't think I've punched anyone in my entire life. I don't even know if I can punch. Collin can though because of course Collin can. He's in basketball and kickboxing. That's actually how he and Isabella met.
You see, Isabella is a natural born athlete. I'm obviously not (Co-founder of the Chess Club here, thank you very much), but Collin is. So, of course, they were in kick boxing together and 'just happened' to be paired up as sparing partners. This was at the beginning of the year – the time I think back on as "Before I Slowly Started to Lose My Mind".
Then, during Homecoming Week, Collin, the sneaky bastard (Sorry, I mean punk. Wait, no, jerk. Ugh, this isn't working), asked Isabella to Homecoming in front of their entire kickboxing class. He even brought in some members of the Men's Show Choir (because Show Choir can be very manly, let me assure you) to sing "Will you go to the prom with me" in a perfectly pitched version of Sam Smith's Stay With Me. The girls in that class called it "adorable". I call it "asking Isabella in front of a large group of people so that she can't turn you down". Overall, it was a well-formulated plan on Collin's part. I'll give him props for that.
Anyway, so Isabella saying yes to being Collin's date for Homecoming immediately got peoples' heads turning, and not just because they were both on the Homecoming Court. See, before Collin, Isabella was notorious for turning guys down. It's not that she was being snobby or rude or anything, she just didn't want to date any of the guys that asked her out. So, the fact that Collin asked Isabella out for Homecoming of all things was a huge head turner, which, looking back on it, was probably why they got Homecoming King and Queen.
After their landslide victory at Homecoming, Collin asked Isabella out on a date. Nothing fancy, mind you, just food at a hole-in-the-wall Collin knew and a reshowing at the old theatre in town of The Princess Bride, which is actually Isabella's favorite movie (The guy must have done his research), on a Saturday night. It was just the type of sweet and cheesy date that Isabella loves, so it wasn't really surprising when Isabella and Collin came to school hand-in-hand on Monday and became the school's 'It' couple. That Monday was the day the "Before I Slowly Started to Lose My Mind" phase of my life ended and the "I'm Losing It" part of my life, which I am still in, started.
Yesterday, though, was New Year's, and New Year's is a time for change. I'm going to figure out what's wrong with me because I'm pretty sure I'm not myself anymore. Also, I'm tired of Ferb laughing at me like he's in on a joke that I'm not in on. I HATE it when people do that, which is funny because I didn't even know I could hate up until this year. Anyway, I need to stop giving myself a pep talk in the bathroom before my parents suspect something is wrong and try giving me fiber bars again or something. I mean, something probably is wrong with me, but still…
Anyway, my name is Phineas Flynn and I am slowly losing myself and my mind.
Another Author's Note: So, that's the first chapter, and I hope you enjoyed it. Phineas is really oblivious, isn't he? On a different note, if anyone could suggest to me or offer to be a beta reader for this story, that would be much appreciated. Anyway, thanks for reading this story. Depending on reception, there could be another chapter next week. Until then, this is BluePoweradeManiac12 signing off.