A/N: Kinda a crackfic/songfic written for the While they were at Hogwarts challenge.
I do not own Harry Potter in anyway *lesigh*. Without further ado, enjoy!
Seven years you think for sure
That's all you've got to endure
All the total dicks
All the stuck up chicks
So superficial, so immature
Then when you graduate
You take a look around and you say, Hey wait!
This is the same as where I just came from
I thought it was over
Aw, that's just great
It's not like she hadn't been housemates with the same people for the last 5 years, not like she hadn't shared her up and downs with people at the school. This though, this was different. She would be graduating in a little over a year and she had no idea where she was going after Hogwarts. Pushing her blonde ringlets out of her face, she scrunched up her nose and let her green eyes rest on the activities of the Great Hall.
Rita Skeeter was by no means an average witch, she had a extensive knowledge of jinxes as well as a unique arsenal of spells made for listening in on other's conversations. In fact she was the unofficial Queen of the Gossip at Hogwarts. If anyone needed to find out some dirt on another, she was the one to go to. Her services weren't cheap but they were almost always correct. Well except for that one time, but Lindsey Davis had it coming, the Ravenclaw twit.
It shouldn't have been a surprise though when Davis had started searching for Rita's way of obtaining said information. It also shouldn't have been much of a surprise that she needed to take shelter in many of the unused classrooms in order to keep off Davis's radar. To be honest, she really should have expected her reaction would be this dramatic. After letting it leak that Davis may or may not have been caught by Pringle making out with a balloon that looked suspiciously like Pettigrew's ugly mug, it would take weeks for Davis to live it down.
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's got the money, who gets the honeys,
Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess
And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
Nothing changes but the faces, the names, and the trends
Hogwarts never ends
That little nugget had been supplied by none other that Sirius Black himself. Apparently Black had a little flame for Davis but she had her eyes set higher, namely Regulas. So when Rita was approached to spread a little rumor and in return receive a hefty bag of galleons, it was hard to refuse. Much to her surprise the "little flame" spread like wildfire around the school and soon Davis's name was plastered everywhere. Regulus gave a snicker whenever she walked into the same room and Pettigrew began to give her very lecherous looks.
Taking a breather in the old Charms classroom, Rita began to pace. It seemed that Davis had been casting tracking spells on all of her normal bugging techniques and spells. If she was to remain the Queen of Gossip and retain the nice little stash of pocket money she was used to, she'd have to come up with something soon. As she sat there pondering, voices floated down the hallway and drifted quietly under her door.
"Are you sure that no one saw us the last time we went out?"
"Positive. No one has ratted us out to the Animagus bored yet. As long as we keep it quiet, we could get away with it for the rest of our lives."
"Shush you two. If no one has ratted us out yet, it's because they haven't stood near you for more than five minutes."
The voices drifted off and Rita took a peak outside the room. No one could be seen and the voices hadn't been clear enough for her to recognize them as anyone. Rita leaned against the doorframe, her quill feather tapping against her lips in thought. Slowly a smile began to spread across her face, one that would be recognizable by most in the future. Oh yes, she thought, This would do most excellently.
For the next few weeks, the gossip queen was strangely quiet. Even Davis had to admit that it seemed like Rita had taken the hint about spreading rumors. Then suddenly, one bright Saturday a few weeks before the end of the school year, Rita came back with a vengeance. Flyers and leaflets rained down through the Great Hall with some of the best and juiciest gossip Hogwarts had ever heard and it seemed this time Rita really had gotten all the facts straight.
Check out the popular kids
You'll never guess what Andromeda did
How did Lily Evans lose all that weight
And Molly had a baby so I guess Weasley's straight
And the only thing that matters
Is climbing up that social ladder
Still care about your hair and the broom you fly
Doesn't matter if you're sixteen or thirty-five
Narcissa Black - She's the prom queen
Remus Lupin - Captain of the chess team
Sirius Black - the clown
James Potter - the quarterback
I've seen it all before
I want my money back
Chaos broke out in the Great Hall when the Queen herself made an appearance at lunch. Everyone crowded around her trying to get a word in and begging to know how she had gotten all the information. Through the whole scenario she remained silent with a gloating smile stretched across her lips. Little did they know, this was only the beginning of Rita's career as Queen of Gossip.
She had already owled the up and coming tabloid, Witch Weekly. They had agreed to take her on once she had finished her NEWTS, providing she do a couple of audition articles to begin with. Rita sat there basking in the attention, surrounded by her desperate classmates. Things appear to be working out quiet nicely. Rita gave one last smile as she adjusted her new bejeweled glasses and walked out of the Great Hall. Who knew making a living would be this easy?
The whole damn world is just as obsessed
With who's the best dressed and who's having sex,
Who's in the club and who's on the drugs,
Who's throwin' up before they digest
And you still don't have the right look
And you don't have the right friends
And you still listen to the same shit you did back then
Hogwarts never ends
I hope you enjoyed! Please leave comments and reviews! I love them!