As I said in the summary, this is just a 100% tongue in cheek tale of the battle for The Hobbit- a small pub in Southampton which I (and most other students here) love. It was recently in the news due to Saul Zaentz Company insisting that they remove all LOTR merchandise- it's called The Hobbit for a reason, even the drinks are named after characters! If you don't know what's happened just google search and it'll be right up there.
Enjoy!
The Hobbit's were tired and weary.
They were peaceful creatures by nature, enjoying the greenery of their home, the fresh tilled land and a pint down the pub at the end of the day.
For decades they lived this way, working in their natural habitat, before relaxing.
As each year passed a new year of Hobbits continued the cycle, and so on and so forth until there became a time when young Daisy would sit with Frodo, Ella with Pippin and Bill with Merry.
Months dragged by as they worked and worked in the nature that Hobbits did, before they were attacked by land hungry orcs who wanted nothing more than to take Hobbiton for their own.
Attack was un-forewarned. Suddenly, the home Daisy, Ella and Bill had come to love was threatened. The orcs were not the normal bloody thirsty ones though, certainly not. They were cunning and scheming and it wasn't long before news spread that there were other parts of the Shire under the same sort of underhand attack.
Shocked at the news and disgusted by their treatment, which was purely because they were the underdogs, the Halflings, the peaceful little folk; they revolted. Teaming together they attracted peoples from far and wide, pleading their case, asking for help, hoping to protect their home.
The battle raged on, not in blood spilt but in disputes over the land. The Hobbits knew without a doubt that, if they wished, the orcs could stop their 'negotiations' at any moment and attack, crushing them.
More than once, that seemed likely, then, in one of the darkest moments, Gandalf stepped in.
His knowledge, wisdom and general acclaim meant that the moment he showed his support for the young Hobbits, other's backed him. It wasn't long before a host of the Big Folk (Known as Men to you and I) were standing up to the creatures.
Intimidated by the power the few Men held, the orcs prudently stepped back, realising there were other lands they could chose from.
The young Daisy, Ella and Bill took comfort in the knowledge that there were others in the larger world who cared for their humble lives and returned once more to sit with their friends, sometimes inviting Gandalf, sometimes Aragon, sometimes Bilbo and even, on occasion, Legolas.
We set out to save the Shire. And it has been saved. Not just for me but for all those who love it, also.