Quick Thinking

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The X-Men!

Hello, this is something new I've been working on, quick thinking excuses the X-Men and others use to explain things like fur, claws and the like.

KURT

GIRL (*): Hey Kurt, why are you all furry?

KURT: Er, I was playing with super glue and my dog started moulting on me, my blue dog. Yeah.

GIRL: Blue?

KURT:HAHAHAH! Joke. No, my NORMAL coloured dog moulted on me after I got coated in tar.

GIRL: I thought you said you were playing with super glue?

KURT: Er, bye!

GIRL: He has a dog?

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Logan

DRUNK MAN: Heeeeeey! * Hic! * Wasssose claw things?

LOGAN: Um…specialist knives, I'm a chef. Top chef.

DRUNK MAN: What a coinci..coinci..coinci..

LOGAN: Coincidence?

DRUNK MAN: Yeah! Cos I'm a top chef too, * hic! *

LOGAN: Er…actually, I'm not, I was playing a joke, they're hedge trimmers, let's change the subject now, look they're gone!

DRUNK MAN: Whered ey go? * Hic! *

LOGAN: Um…hey look! Free beer!

DRUNK MAN: Where?

(Logan runs off, fast!)

DRUNK MAN: Hey! Come back! * Hic! * Wheresa beer?

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Scott

GIRL: Hi Scott! Take your glasses off, I want to see your eyes!

SCOTT: Yeah who doesn't, I AM pretty good looking, er, I mean no, I can't, no.

GIRL: Oh comes on! Please! Why?

SCOTT: Um, cos if I do the sunlight will enter my head and my brain will explode. Yeah. Blood everywhere. Not a pretty sight.

GIRL: That's not what you said yesterday!

SCOTT: Yeah well it only happens on Tuesdays.

GIRL: But it's Wednesday!

SCOTT: That's even worse! On Wednesdays I um, hmm, my ears explode. Yeah. Very rare condition.

GIRL: Oh what's it called? My Dads a doctor he can explain it to me!

SCOTT: You know what? I'm going to go over there now! Yeah. I need to talk to, who's that? Oh yeah, Snotty Bill. Ahem.

(He jumps in his car and drives off)

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Rogue

SOME PERSON: Hey Rogue, why can't I touch your skin?

ROGUE: You can.

SP: I can?!

ROGUE: No, I was trying reverse psychology.

SP: Oh, why can't I?

ROGUE: Because.

SP: Oh don't be so childish.

ROGUE: You're calling me childish! That's so stupid! Hahahaha! Look how I laugh at you!

SP: You didn't answer my question.

ROGUE: Well you know that skin condition Michael Jackson supposedly has?

SP: I think so….

ROGUE: Well I have something like that. If you touch my skin I turn purple.

SP: Wow, that must be hard! IF IT WAS TRUE!

ROGUE: It is! Why does no one believe me!

(Runs off crying)

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Kurt Again

THAT ANNOYING GIRL AGAIN: Is that a TAIL?

KURT: Of course not! Zat vould be stupid! Do I look like a monkey?

TAGA: Well actually..

KURT: Don't answer zat!

TAGA: So explain the tail!

KURT: It vas not a tail!

TAGA: Ok then, what was it monkey boy!

KURT: If you call me zat again I vill not tell you.

TAGA: Ok I won't call you that.

KURT: Call me vat?

TAGA: Monkey boy.

KURT: YOU CALLED ME MONKY BOY AGAIN! I TELL YOU NOTHING!

TAGA: Wha?

KURT: Nah! I tell you nothing. Ok, it was a mirage. This er, tree has a big magnetic field thing that creates a lot of hallucinations, look! You have big ears!

TAGA: No I don't!

KURT: See vat I mean, bye!

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I did this in a moment of boredom. Not meant to be taken seriously I just got a bit bored with some of their lame excuses. This is what I'd have them say which is probably why I will never work on a cartoon like this. If you liked it tell me and I'll probably do a few more. If you hated it, well don't tell me. I'd like to be hopelessly unaware. What you don't know can't hurt you and all that.

(*) I can't remember any of the girls names that they start going out with, I last saw evo nearly 6months ago, darn Power Rangers.