I wanted to give him a lesson !
(Or : how Aphrodite fucked up everything while she was just trying to help.
And how things were fixed without her help.)
[Hercules: The Animated Series. Hercules and the Dream Date] : AU. Aphrodite wants to give a lesson to Hercules for his inconsistency, so she gives a real personality to Galatea. Problem : things go wrong and instead of falling in love with Hercules, Galatea falls in love with Cassandra when she sees her for the first time. Outch… Cassandra/Galatea. Athena/Aphrodite.
Author's note : Because Hercules was particularly stupid in this episode, and because I love femslash… Oh, and Athena's personality is not the one she gets in the show.
Maybe some writers bashing & break the fourth wall. Icarus bashing (I don't like this character). Crack and humor.
Part 1 : Aphrodite makes her choice.
Hercules looked at his statue and just shrugged, seeing the result which was not really… brilliant, to say the least.
"Oh, Aphrodite will understand what I want…"
Yes, because, why would he care and why would he try to do something conscientious ?
It was just about… giving life to a human person, after all !
Because yes, being less skilled than his teacher, Hercules' statue didn't look like a human person at all, but like something… really ugly and not done in a good way.
Icarus raised an eyebrow.
He may was not really clever, but he was sure that this… would not be enough.
Hercules then summoned the Goddess of Love who appeared rapidly, and, if she was happy at first to see again her… half-brother ? Nephew ? Grand-nephew ? (By the way, what kind of familial link does she share with him ?) then, when she realized what he wanted, she felt a certain tiredness invade her.
The truth is that, it wouldn't be happening if she didn't accept this to happen…
She shouldn't be too much kind with human people, in fact, it was something which had been told to her a lot of time by Athena, who knew perfectly that to allow human to give life to someone they had created might be the worst idea she ever had.
It was a kind action, but it didn't mean it was not stupid.
And she knew that the goddess of wisdom was right, but she couldn't help but want to help them.
Even if they were as stupid as Hercules could be at this moment…
Correcting his work (hell, he really didn't know how to make a good statue. That was not surprising) and she began to burn with disapproval and fury as she heard what he wanted.
Hey ! Wasn't she already perfect the way she was ? Why did he want more ?
"So now, tell me, what about her personality ? She asked to the semi-god."
After all, it was a really important part of who Galatea was going to be.
He frowned, as if he was surprised by her question.
"Her personality ? Well… I didn't think about it. The goddess sent him death stares, but he didn't see them. I want her to be mad about me ! He finally said, seeming to be really proud of himself."
Her anger became even more great.
What ?
What the hell was that ?
What about her intelligence ? Her tastes ? Her desires ? Her aspirations ?
What about who she was going to be ?
What about who she really was ?
This young stupid man wanted all her life to turn around him and no one else, not even herself.
Hell, even Pygmalion hadn't been that megalomaniac.
Aphrodite looked at her (half-brother. Now, I will say half-brother, even if it is not really the case) half-brother, who was just waiting for her to realize his stupid wish.
Couldn't he, well, she didn't know, just… look for a real and human girlfriend instead of trying to create this one ?
Human people could be really strange sometimes…
(And it was just for a stupid ball…)
So… he didn't want her to get a real personality ?
What the fuck was that ? She thought again.
Wh… just, what ?
And why ?
She blinked sometimes, trying to understand what he really wanted, before realizing this was what he wanted.
Okay…
Her half-brother was just stupid.
A part of her wanted to go and leave right now, while the other really wanted to hit Hercules right behind the head for his stupidity.
But she did none of these actions.
The goddess rapidly made her choice, and decided that yes, she would play his game.
But she would just change the rules.
She would create Galatea, yes, but not as Hercules wanted her to be.
She would give her a real personality.
Make her being a real person, not just a doll with who the future hero could play and that he could give up then when he would be bored of her presence.
And she would make her fall in love with Hercules, since it was the reason why he had called for her.
Well… eventually…
(Hell, she really shouldn't allow human to call for her and make her create human people.
She could almost hear Athena's laugh resonate in her head.)
She sighed, and tried to reason him one last time.
"Really ? Is it really what you want ? Just her being… in love with you, and nothing else ?
He shrugged again.
- Yes, of course… I don't want to go to the ball alone, I need someone to be with me."
He was stupid.
Oh, by the gods (and by herself, by the way…).
He. Was. Really. Stupid.
Why the freaking hell ?
It was just for this ?
She nodded, and decided that she would do this, yes.
But definitely differently.
As she was beginning to prepare herself to cast her spell, she finally saw someone appear in front of her eyes, and she frowned with displeasure.
Here was Athena, the famous goddess of wisdom, and who had just nothing to do here.
Looking at her with interest and amusement, the goddess who had just arrived leaned on the wall and crossed her arms.
Aphrodite raised a surprised eyebrow.
"What are you doing here Athena ?"
Her… hum… half-sister ? (well, since Aphrodite is either Zeus' or Uranus – kind of – daughter, depending of the version, not really…)
Well, her kind-of-but-not-really niece/half-sister (if I can say that… Greek Mythology is such a mess…) just shrugged, still smiling.
"Well, I came here to see you try and fail this spell… she joked.
Aphrodite frowned.
- Aren't you supposed to be having an argument with your brother, Ares ?
- Since I am not supposed to be in this episode, the Author thought she could make something more interesting with my character… And I agree completely with her… Even if I know this is exactly what she wants me to do and think. She frowned. It's becoming really strange… And by the way, I came to see the "writers" of the show, to tell them I didn't want to do this anymore, and appear like a stupid teenager always quarreling with my brother. I am fed up of this.
- Hum… okay, Aphrodite answered, not really understanding what the goddess meant. Then, she remembered what she had just said before. What do you mean by "to fail this spell" ?
Athena chuckled.
- Since you always fail what you try to do…
- WHAT ? Why are you that petty Athena ?
- It's a provocation. The Author wants you to do some mistake, so, by telling you you can't do this spell, then, you will try to do this spell in order to prove me I'm wrong. What a brilliant plan, right ?
No. It was stupid, and Athena, as well as Aphrodite, knew it.
And yet, they both knew that Aphrodite would indeed try.
- Excuse-me, Hercules finally said with shyness, I…
- Oh, excuse-me Hercules, I didn't see you… Happy to see you, so, you asked for a girlfriend, didn't you ? Why don't you do like me and stay single ?"
Aphrodite snorted delicately.
"Single ? She muttered for herself. You didn't say that the other night…"
Athena sent her death stares.
Oh yes, she remembered, they weren't supposed to talk about their secret relationship to someone else…
After all, Athena had a reputation to protect !
Aphrodite rolled her eyes.
Fine, she wouldn't talk about her sexual relationship with Athena with anyone else !
It was not as if she wanted to.
"Well, Hercules continued, not suspecting anything, the thing is that this ball is a really important thing for me, and it's a social ritual, so… I just can't go there alone.
- You know, you're not forced to go there…
- Please, could you stop talking and let me do my work ?
- As you want, Athena answered."
And so did Aphrodite, concentrating herself in order to give both life AND a real personality to the young woman named Galatea.
Little did she know things wouldn't work as she wanted them to do…
And, some seconds later, Galatea was created and opened her eyes.
To be continued…