Naruto Uzumaki: Love Machine and Hating it.
Disclaimer: the following is a fan based story. Naruto Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release.
Flashback
Thought
jutsu
Chapter 1: the nightmare begins
'Who would go through so much trouble over a box?' Was a question Naruto had been rambling through his mind as he fought against an enemy from the Otogakure. Naruto barely stood as he was panting from over exertion.
His enemy was one of the strangest ones he had seen yet. His most noticeable features were his blue hair is a poodle like style, his star sun-glasses, a feminine like face, and he was dressed up in a bright yellow, glitter covered, clown outfit. 'Is this the kind of company that Orochimaru keeps?' Naruto contemplated.
Flashback
Team Kakashi was out on a B-ranked mission to deliver a priceless, hand-crafted, jewelry box to Sunagakure. Tsunade ordered the team to guard it with their lives. Naruto was carrying the box inside his backpack.
After they got pasted the gates of Konoha, everything seemed to be quiet and peaceful. Even Naruto kept his mouth shut, not wanting to sound like an idiot in front of everyone.
Once they were half-way across the border, in a large forest between Konoha and Suna, Sai asked, "So what's really so special about that box? Because I doubt that it's only being well guarded because it looks expensive." Just saying that peaked Naruto's, Sakura's, and Yamato's interest.
Kakashi knew that they would probably sooner or later, he also knew that the basis for a good team was trust, but he couldn't tell them because he knew that it had to kept secret. Also he noticed a something moving in a near by bush.
"Stay on guard!" Kakashi ordered and then everyone snapped back into attention and the group expected to be attacked by an enemy ninja, but instead, as they were still walking towards the fork in the road, they ran into a traveling circus.
Their carts were carrying cages that were containing what looked like human-like tigers, lions, alligators, and condors all with sad faces. The also had a cart that had clowns inside. The carts were being pulled by human-like horses.
Yamato and Kakashi were looking into the cages curiously when the carts stopped and one of the clowns got out of one of the carts and walked up to them. (He is the clown Naruto is fighting. I'm saying this because it saves me the trouble in giving his description.)
"Is there a problem here, gentlemen?" The clown asked. "It's nothing, we were just looking at some of your creatures and I must say, they don't look too cheerful." Yamato said. The clown rose an eyebrow.
"Well, that's one of the attractions we have at our circus, we let our customers ogle at the freaks. Since you are a private audience, it's gonna have to cost you something extra." Kakashi and Yamato both kept straight faces while Naruto, Sakura, and Sai tried to listen in on the conversation. The clown then looked at Naruto's backpack like he knew something was there. He then said, "Like how about that pretty little box your blond friend is carrying in his backpack?" The team then stood in shock and they then prepared themselves to fight.
The clown the launched onto Naruto trying to get his bag, but he was the swiftly punched off by Naruto and then regained his balance.
"Strangely, I'm getting used to getting groped by the people that attack me." Naruto said to annoy the clown. It also annoyed a certain pink-haired kunoichi who remembered the last enemy that did that and that she almost stole his chakra through a kiss.
Four more clowns came out of the cart. They were all dressed the same way, probably posing as a family act for their "circus". They were all dressed in red, rubber suits that covered their entire bodies, they were all bald to the back of their heads, and they also had no pupils in there eyes. (Very freaky.)
While one other clown stayed in the cart and pulled the it and the other carts with the rest of their little side shows away. Naruto had seen creatures like them before when he was searching for Sasuke. Yamato and Kakashi had seen them before as well. They were some of Orochimaru's experiments. That could only mean that these clowns have the same kind of sadistic humor that Orochimaru has.
"So Orochimaru has henchmen who look exactly like him, why am I not surprised?" Kakashi said.
"You know, I was kind of hoping we could avoid a conflict, but Orochimaru-sama does want that box. so nice knowing you kids." The main clown attacked Naruto with a kunai in his hand. Naruto was able to dodge the attack and then prepared for battle.
"Don't just stand there looking pretty, attack you bakas!" The clown ordered as the rest of the clowns then went into battle. The rest of the team ran into different locations to avoid being ganged up upon. That left only Naruto and the main clown in the same location.
"It's just you and me now boy!" As the clown attacked again.
End flashback.
Both the clown and Naruto were nearly out of chakra and were really tired. So they had only one solution to their conflict. Regular, hand-to-hand combat. They both tackled each other and started blindingly throwing punches at one another. Neither one of them gave an inch, until the clown threw one clean uppercut that sent Naruto to the ground.
The clown limped over to the blond shinobi and said, "I'll take that box now if you don't mind so terri-," before the clown could finish his sentence, Naruto just the poofed into nothing.
"Actually, I do mind." The clown heard from behind him as he received an even more powerful uppercut from Naruto that sent him to the ground. The clown was too tired to continue and he knew that he was beat.
Naruto walked over to the clown, looking for some answers to some of his questions. The clown looked up at the blond shinobi and he knew that he had something to say, so the clown decided to comply, fearing for his life.
"where is Sasuke Uchiha?" Naruto asked in a serious tone.
"I honestly don't know. Orochimaru-sama keeps going to different hideouts, and I'm just one of his smaller servants so he would never tell me." The clown answered cowering in fear.
"Why were you after that box?" Naruto asked getting to the next point.
"That box contains one of the most valuable things in the ninja world inside it. It holds one of the sacred reality scrolls. Orochimaru-sama demanded that we would get it for him." The clown said.
Naruto looked perplexed, thinking about what was so important about this "reality scroll." He decided to let it go for the moment, but then looked back at the clown.
"You really picked the wrong guys to mess with." Naruto stated.
"I know. I was fighting against the Nine-Tailed Foxes holder and he didn't need to use it's chakra to beat me. I'm deeply impressed." The clown said.
"How did you know who I am?" Naruto then asked.
"Orochimaru-sama always informs us about our enemies before we engage them in combat. He says it's the key to victory. Also, from what he told me, it seems as though you have lead a very sad life being shunned by your village." The clown said this to draw out the Kyuubi, but Naruto never gave in to his verbal abuse.
"Why didn't you use the foxes chakra?" The clown asked.
"Because I don't need it's chakra. Also, when I do use it, I hurt everyone. Even the people that I care about." Naruto said that fact straight from his heart. The clown responded by laughing like he was going insane. That made Naruto very angry.
"What's so funny?" Naruto asked.
"The holder of the Nine-Tailed Fox, the child whom no one wanted alive, actually has people that he cares about? That's a riot." He said and continued to laugh and notice that Naruto's rage really started to grow and he then stopped right in his tracks.
"Are you going to kill me now?" He said and in order to answer his question, naruto went down on his knees and he said,
"No. If I did kill you, it would cause pain to you, me, and your friends. Plus, your just the mad man's puppet. I want the one who is pulling your strings." The clown looked into Naruto's eyes and he knew that he was telling the truth. The clown then got an idea.
"You truly are a good man, Uzumaki Naruto. And since you spared my life, I will give you a gift that will make sure everyone else knows that as well and give you the kindness that you deserve." The clown said that with a smirk on his face. He then made a quick sequence of hand signs and Naruto back up with a kunai handy.
"Ninja Art: Aphrodisiac Mist!" The clown bellowed and blew out a cloud of mist from his mouth that swallowed up Naruto inside of it.
'A smoke screen! Where is the clown…?' He thought before he fell to the ground asleep.
"Enjoy your gift kid. You'll love it to death…" The clown said and he then fell to the ground dead.
What kind of jutsu could the clown have used? What did he mean by 'you'll love it to death?' What will happen when naruto wakes up? Find out the answers to these questions and more in the next chapter of Naruto Uzumaki: Love Machine and Hating it: the Hot Bachelor?