Hey there, dear readers, this is AWordToTheNot-So-Wise with my first ever fanfic. I've been meaning to start writing things for this site literally years ago for the Teen Titans fandom but I could never work up the nerve. Then I got older and a little more confident in my writing and along came this show called RWBY and well, I got inspired. So I sat myself down and started coming up with ideas for stories set in the world of RWBY with these characters that I have fallen in love with. This was the first idea that popped into my head around the middle of the second volume and I meant to publish it before 2015 but alas there are these things called school and work and other story ideas and Writer's Block. But I finally pushed myself to complete this piece and here it is at last. This is my take on a part of the Pyrrha and Jaune dynamic centering on Pyrrha's perspective. There were some parts I really liked, some I thought were okay, and others that I felt were maybe a little rushed, or clunky, or were just missing something that I couldn't put my finger on. It's definitely not perfect but hopefully you guys can give me some feedback and critiques to help me and my writing get better and just that much closer to almost perfect. Alright, enough of my ramblings and on with the story, this is...
EDIT (1/4/2015): I came back and fixed a couple of grammatical and structural errors I found after looking back over the story. Nothing special, but it makes things more consistent and a little prettier.
Titular Anxiety
There were times when Pyrrha Nikos truly hated her name. Not that the name in itself was unpleasant; it really did sound quite nice when it rolled off the tongue, especially when he said it with more warmth and compassion than anyone else ever had. No, she hated what it had come to mean. It was more like a title than a name, something that alluded to a figure of legend instead of a young woman trying her best to live her dream just like anyone else. Coming to Beacon had been a weight off her shoulders. Of course people still knew her name, her title, but she wasn't gawked at as often because of it. The school environment had made it so that people could at least know her a little better by seeing her abilities first hand. They realized that she wasn't just a fighter, but also a scholar and very intellectual person. That and people didn't have as much time to gossip about a resident celebrity because of the very nature of the school setting, where priority was put on tests and projects instead of her social life. So life was made much easier by this.
But her name was still a title, and she a legend. So when a mission outside of Vale's borders had gone slightly awry and she'd been injured, they blamed him. They blamed her leader because Pyrrha Nikos didn't make mistakes, Pyrrha Nikos was untouchable, and so it couldn't have been Pyrrha Nikos' fault that she'd gotten injured. It had to be his fault, his mistake, his incompetence that had marred the skin of perfection. He'd always been a failure. It was an injustice that he had been made leader over her. He wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for Pyrrha Nikos, and this is how he repaid her? He wasn't worthy of having Pyrrha Nikos as his partner. He would just bring her down. He was a cancer and should have been kicked out of Beacon ages ago.
She hated all of those whispers.
There was a faint beep that came from the other side of the door that grabbed her attention. The door slid to the side and in walked Jaune. Lying in her hospitable bed in the medical wing of Beacon, she was isolated from the student populace and so she didn't actually hear those awful things they said about him, but she could hear them running through his head, see the pain it was causing him in his downcast eyes. He perked up at the sight of her and the corners of his mouth turned upwards. She no longer had most of the scars and bruises from their mission a few days ago; all that was left were a few sparse white lines in their place.
She knew that would make him feel better, to see her nearly recovered. But he still looked like he was carrying the whole of Remnant on his back; his shoulders slumped under an immense mental weight. The bags under his eyes were a deeper shade of purple than the last time he'd visited. His movements were more than a little rigid and stiff despite his effort to hide it. She admired that he wasn't slacking off on his extra training, but it would do him no good if he didn't get enough rest, which he clearly wasn't.
"Hey, how's my champ doing today," he asked as he sat down next to the bed, "they feedin' you enough?"
"Enough," she smiled.
"You sure about that? I dunno, 'cause it looks like I could finally beat you in an arm wrestle."
She smiled wider and punched him in the arm, to which he clutched at and hissed in mock pain.
"Ssssss...ah ah, okay okay so you can still beat me in arm wrestling."
But his act was too convincing. She frowned inwardly. He was pushing himself too hard in training as a way to punish himself. That self-destructive behavior needed to stop. But she couldn't just flat out call him out on it because it would put him on the spot and then he would be uncomfortable. When he was uncomfortable he would try to change the subject and if that ever failed he would see himself out of the conversation with a half-baked excuse. Right now she wasn't in a position to prevent him from leaving and that was the last thing she wanted to have happen. She had one option then. As futile as it sounded, she would try to drop some simple, subtle suggestions to get him to talk about what was burdening him. But if that didn't prove fruitful she had no problem waiting until she was out of the medical ward to bring it up again, albeit she would be a bit more direct on her second attempt.
"And how are you doing, Jaune? Is everything all right?"
He stiffened.
"Yeah, no, yeah, I'm good. Everything's good. Grades are doing good. Ren and Nora are good and so's Team RWBY."
She shook her head and reached out to touch his arm. She fixed him with a meaningful look.
"That's not what I asked. I asked how you were doing. Are you all right, Jaune?"
He looked away and started to come up with an excuse. She squeezed his arm and that was all it took for him to meet her eyes. He never was very good at lying, especially not with her and so he didn't even try.
"I just have a lot on my mind, Pyrrha."
That was what hurt the most. He had to face those accusations every day without her there to tell him otherwise; worse still, she knew that he believed them.
"Jaune, whatever it is-"
"I know, I know; I can talk to you about it. I will, Pyrrha. I'm just not ready to talk about it yet. I need some more time to think."
She frowned sadly and looked down at the sheets on her bed, feeling sick. The small, ordinary, geometric pattern embroidered on them was enough to hold her attention and quell her nausea for the time being. This visit was turning into a terrible one. She could only hope that she hadn't pressed hard enough to make him want to leave. He must have read her mind because soon she felt him rub her arm and his index finger lifted her chin.
"Hey, but let's forget about that for now okay? I don't wanna ruin my visit by making you worry."
His warm smile was as infectious as always and she soon mirrored him with one of her own.
"There's my champ. Hey, you wanna hear about Port's latest in bombastic Grimm tales?"
She nodded eagerly and clutched his hand, intertwining their fingers as she settled in for the story.
"Well it started something like this," he continued in his best impression of the stout professor, "I found myself alone against two packs of warring Beowolves and without my trusty blunder-axe in hand, the situation looked dire. But my tenacious young self knew no fear, as I had a trump card up my sleeve..."
Pyrrha ran her hand through the blonde boy's locks, lightly petting his head in doing so. There was a content air about her as she took in the sight of the sleeping boy with his head laid in her lap. One arm of his was draped across her legs and the other hung limp by his side, his knuckles nearly touching the floor. Both of his legs were sprawled out beneath the chair he sat on at what had to be impossible angles for body parts to bend at. It was cute how he slept in such an awkward position. After his retelling of Professor Port's story they had shifted the conversation to homework and, while he had been going over the notes from the day for her, he managed to doze off.
The room was almost completely silent and Pyrrha looked up towards the ceiling, appreciating the peace. Jaune's soft snoring was the only audible noise, it added to the tranquility of the room Pyrrha thought, and her breathing soon fell in time with it. The relative solitude would usually cause cabin fever to set in after too long a stay, but Pyrrha reveled in it. She wasn't too fond of crowds -four consecutive tournament wins will do that to a person- and in essence that is exactly what the academy was: a big crowd. Also, like any student, a break from the stress of assignments (thank you, Jaune) was always appreciated. But there was another reason that this silence was so precious: so long as Jaune was here with her, he wasn't faced with all the hatred and disdain from people ignorant of what kind of person he really was. Only the loving words she had for him would be what he heard.
"They're wrong about you, Jaune," she whispered to herself. Why do you listen to them when they don't know you, and why do you believe them when they don't know me? She let out a sullen breath and a sad smile appeared on her face. If she had it her way she wouldn't let him leave her bedside until she had been cleared to return to classes by the medical staff. He didn't need what was out there, he didn't deserve what was waiting for him just outside the door that stood not ten feet away. But that would be selfish. He still needed to stay on top of his class work and if he let up in his training at all it would only make him feel worse. The food in the mess hall would be much better than the stale rations available in the medical wing, a bed would be much more comfortable than a chair, and he didn't need to constantly dote on a girlfriend who was going to be just fine.
She was broken out of her reverie when she felt something wet on her thigh and her eyes snapped down to it. She smiled and rolled her eyes. Well I was going to have to wake you up eventually. She ruffled his hair forcefully enough to rouse him from sleep without tugging too hard on the strands.
"Jaune, you need to wake up now. Come on, Sleeping Beauty, my leg is starting to go numb."
He woke with a start and snorted from the slight jolt to his system. He looked up with bleary eyes to his partner.
"Huh," he managed to ask after rubbing his eyes.
"You started drooling on me."
He looked down to see he had in fact caused a small, wet stain to form on the sheets. His eyes widened and he vigorously wiped the leftover spittle from his face.
"Oh crap! Oh man, I'm so sorry, Pyrrha!"
She chuckled heartily at him and patted his head before withdrawing her hand.
"It's fine. But it is getting late," she jerked her thumb towards the clock on the wall, "you should head back to the dorms and get some sleep that won't put a permanent kink in your neck."
His eyes went to the clock and he knew she was right. She saw him purse his lips and his fist unconsciously clenched as he thought of some excuse to stay longer. But when she was right, she was right and there was no argument otherwise. The tension left his body in a rush of air from his lips and his fist unclenched in defeat. He wiped his face with his palm and nodded.
"You're right."
"Of course I am. Now, go. Get some good rest. Please? For me?"
His cheeks reddened a bit at her sweet tone and he waved her off in embarrassment. He stood to get up and held his hands up in surrender.
"Okay, fiiiine. How can I say no to you?"
It was rhetorical. But she felt like answering anyway because deep down she was still a champion, and champions always came out on top. She smirked and pulled him back down by his shirt, bringing their faces mere inches apart from each other.
"You can't and that's just the way it's always going to be."
With that she gave him a quick peck on the nose and released him, giggling at the stuttering state he was left in. He got back up and stumbled to the door. When it opened he grabbed the frame and took in a breath large enough to lift him up onto the tips of his toes as a means to right himself before letting it back out. He turned one last time to look at her. In his eyes lay pure warmth and loving concern and his posture made his reluctance to leave all the more obvious. She nodded encouragingly and made shooing gestures with her hands. It took a few moments until he relented and turned around to go, but not before Pyrrha saw that look return to his eyes. It was the very same one he had when he'd first walked in. He walked out into the hall and his entire body slumped again as the emotional weight was hefted onto his shoulders once more.
Pyrrha did not sleep well that night. As she lay back and begged for rest to come and claim her, she knew it was a fruitless endeavor. There was too much guilt on her conscience for her to sleep. No, she couldn't hope to get any rest when Pyrrha Nikos was hurting Jaune more than her leg had pained her when the bone had snapped. All she could do was stare hopelessly at the ceiling while she did her best to muffle the sobs that racked her person.
Fortunately, it was only a couple of days later that Pyrrha was able to go back to classes. Thanks to the ever so helpful healing properties of aura, instead of a cast, all she needed was a brace to help keep her leg stable while her bone went through the final stages of recovery. She certainly wouldn't be allowed to participate in sparring matches for another couple weeks but getting up and walking felt good after laying down for so long and her bed in JNPR's room was, simply put, heavenly compared to the thin mattresses in the medical wing. It was good to be back.
Well, sort of. While she had been enthusiastically welcomed back by her team and the girls from Team RWBY, Jaune had been noticeably reserved about her return. She thought about pressing him on the issue, but decided to wait and see, reasoning that he was still probably beyond exhausted. That night she slept in fits, her leg irritating her with a dull, but persistent ache after being off of the pain killers. That wasn't the only thing keeping her up though. There was a thought nagging at her in the very back of her consciousness, a thought that made Pyrrha steal furtive glances at the back of Jaune's head as he slept to make certain that he was still there. All of a sudden it felt a lot colder in the room. Pyrrha pulled her sheets tighter around herself and curled into a ball for warmth.
The next morning came about uninvited. Sunlight assaulted Pyrrha's eyes and bullied her into getting out of bed against her will. After she got up and worked the stiffness out of her muscles, her first order of business was to shut out the light by pulling the curtains together. Take that, you atrocious celestial body. Pyrrha stood back to admire her handiwork with pride. It was short lived however, when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. There was an uneasy feeling hanging around the room. Her instincts kicked in and she pivoted on the spot, crouched low in a defensive stance. She looked around and noticed that she was the only person in the room. In a moment of panic for the safety of her team she looked around frantically for any sign of a struggle. Instead, to her relief, she only found a note lying in front of her alarm clock with Ren's familiar handwriting on it. She plucked it from its resting place and scanned over the message.
Pyrrha,
Jaune asked us to let you sleep in this morning before he left for breakfast. That's why it's so quiet right now. Don't worry; we'll save a plate for you. See you shortly.
- Ren
She put the note aside and, with that, carried out the rest of her morning routine in a timely manner. It was about twenty minutes later that Pyrrha strode down the hall in her Beacon uniform to the cafeteria. As she neared, the smell of warm breakfast foods entered her nasal passage and sent a euphoric sensation down her spine and into her ravenous stomach. She reached the double doors and shoved them open with a flourish and scanned the tables for her friends. She didn't have to look long at all before Nora, Ruby, and Yang all started waving their arms in the air to get her attention. She had been too far away to notice it at first but as she got closer she noticed that there were only six people at the table; Jaune was absent from the group. Pyrrha sat down, puzzled by her leader's lack of presence. Ren slid the plate they had saved for her over and she voiced her curiosity after nodding in thanks and accepting the meal.
"Where's Jaune?"
"He left saying that he was going to talk to Port about a late assignment," Nora answered, "didn't you run into him on your way here?"
"No, I didn't see him. He must have left too early for me to catch him."
Nora and Ren both frowned at this. They too had noticed something slightly off about their leader and this just served to add to their confusion. There was only one path that went straight from the mess hall to Port's classroom and it was bisected by the path leading out from the first-year dorms. There was another, longer way to get to Port's class but that added another four or so minutes to the trip.
"He only left like a couple minutes ago," Nora responded, "he looked like he was in a hurry, too."
Strange, he would've had to run into me if he left that recently. Unless he took the long way, but why would he go that far out of his way to get there? The subordinates of Team JNPR were all officially befuddled now. There didn't really seem to be a reason for his abnormal actions. But there wasn't necessarily anything wrong with them; he very well could've forgotten about a matter he needed to take care of with Professor Goodwitch or Dr. Oobleck that was of a higher priority than Port's assignment. It was just...odd. It was a feeling that the three couldn't shake from their thoughts and so, collectively, they made a nonverbal consensus to observe Jaune's actions a little more closely.
The seven students soon finished up their morning meal and made off for their first class of the day. The walk was spent idly chit-chatting and was over with relatively shortly as they came upon the lecture hall. Not but a few moments after they all stepped through the door of the classroom did the bell ring and they quickly and quietly went to take their seats. But something was off. Jaune wasn't in his usual seat next to Pyrrha. The redhead looked around but Jaune was nowhere to be found. She looked behind her to Ren and Nora and the three all shared a look of worry. He said he left early to take care of a matter with Professor Port, so where is he? Team RWBY, who had been unaware of the subtle oddities with Jaune's behavior, took notice of this as well. Blake turned to Pyrrha and asked, "Where's Jaune? I thought he was supposed to come here fifteen minutes ago."
"I don't know, perhaps he had another matter to deal with and lost track of time."
That last part was more for her benefit than anything else. She wanted to convince herself that it was any other reason than that small, painful thought that was still in the very back of her mind. Don't be ridiculous, it couldn't be that. He's different. She tried to banish the thought and instead focus on the professor's "lecture", but suddenly the doors to the classroom creaked loudly as they were opened slowly from the outside by someone who apparently didn't want to be seen coming in. All eyes turned to see Jaune Arc slip in through the doors with an embarrassed look on his face, his stealthy entrance foiled. Professor Port crossed his arms over his barrel chest and quirked a brow in a displeased manner.
"How very nice of you to join us, Mr. Arc," Jaune gave him a meek wave and the professor sighed, "please, if you would, have a seat."
Jaune nodded and scratched the back of his neck before moving to take a seat. Pyrrha moved her own seat over as she pulled out Jaune's for him to sit next to her. But Jaune turned in the opposite direction and grabbed a seat in the very back of the class, just outside of her line of sight. A hurt look crossed her face and a pit started forming in her stomach.
"Is there something wrong with Jaune?" Blake asked. "He always sits next to you since you guys got together."
"I don't know, but I intend to find out."
With that, she rose to get out of her chair and go sit next Jaune to pick his brain. Of course that's what she was going to do until Port stopped her.
"Ms. Nikos! Just where do you think you're going?"
"I was going-"
"I do not appreciate interruptions during my class. Sit back down."
"But-"
"Now."
Pyrrha sat down dejectedly. Her head was hung low and she cast a sidelong glance over to where her partner sat. What's going on with you?
Pyrrha had no idea what happened during the rest of class. She was consumed by her thoughts, trapped in her own little world in her head. It was not a fun place to be. The little voice of doubt was getting louder with each passing minute. You're not good enough, Pyrrha, it taunted, after your little mistake he doesn't trust you to do anything right. Pyrrha put her hands to her ears in a futile attempt to shut out the voice. But you can't shut out something that's on the inside. He knows now that you're not all you're cracked up to be. You're supposed to be perfect, Pyrrha.
Pyrrha was very close to pulling her hair out when, to her immense relief, the bell signaling the end of class erupted. The thunderous clanging jerked her out of her mental despair and back into the present. She hurriedly snatched up her books and note sheets and got up out of her seat. She wanted nothing more than to get out of this classroom and find Jaune. She reasoned that if she could just talk to him he would set everything straight and alleviate her fears. At least she hoped that that was how it would go. She stood up taller and craned her neck to look over to where the blonde had been sitting. Only, he wasn't there anymore. Her eyes widened and scanned the mass of students flooding out into the hallway, where she caught just a moment's glimpse of a shoe with the word "Left" on its sole disappearing around the corner.
He's intimidated by you. The name Pyrrha Nikos has finally scared him off.
No! He's not like that! He just doesn't want to be late to his next class, that's all. That didn't sound nearly as certain as she wanted it to. But at the moment it was the best that she could muster. She made her way timidly down the hall. Jaune's next class was only offered to team leaders, so she would be alone with her thoughts for another couple of hours until dinner was served back in the mess hall. That was not a prospect that she cared for at all. Although, in Professor Peach's class they would be taking another trip to the Emerald Forest today to study the local species of flora, perhaps the fresh air would help to clear her head for a while, maybe they'd even run into another Ursa. That would be a welcome distraction.
No such luck. The field trip came and went without any unexpected Grimm appearances. Everything had gone just as planned, except for the freak rainstorm which just had to hit them when they were seemingly as far away from the school as possible. The rainstorm which just had to be fierce enough to get them lost in the forest for a good half hour before they found the path leading back to the cliffs. The rain didn't let up during the entire trek back. Pyrrha had used her shield as a makeshift umbrella, but it did little, if anything at all, to keep her from getting drenched.
Feeling sour and sopping wet from head to toe, Pyrrha had made a beeline for the shower as soon as they had made it back to Beacon. This is where she found herself now, with the water from the showerhead making a light drumming sensation on her skin and today's less than cheery events occupying her mind. She took a small comfort in the fact that she was no longer chilled to the bone from rain and instead quite warm after her shower. It wasn't long before she turned the shower nozzle to halt the flow of water and toweled off. As she opened the door to JNPR's room her stomach grumbled, reminding her of one more thing to add to the list of things that made today especially unpleasant.
By the time her class had made it back to Beacon, dinner in the mess hall was drawing to a close and by opting to go for a shower Pyrrha had missed out on it completely. Of course it made a lot more sense to wash the rainwater off and dry off first instead of going to eat while dripping water like a leaky faucet. But with her body voicing its indignation at the skipped meal she realized just how hungry she was.
What I wouldn't give for a plate of pasta right now, or even just an apple for that matter.
No sooner did the thought cross her mind than she saw Jaune placing a lightly steaming dinner plate on her desk.
"Jaune?"
He spun around, caught off guard with a look of surprise on his face. "Pyrrha! Uh, hey there, um I, uh, heard about the rain and knew you'd probably miss dinner so I saved some food for you," he stammered and started inching his way towards the door, "I didn't think I'd run into you before I left."
"Before you left for where?" She looked at him and noticed that he wasn't in his school uniform. Instead he was clad in his hoodie and armor with his sword at his hip. Oh, of course. Classes and dinner are over now; this is when we would head up to the roof.
"Oh!" She exclaimed. "Here, give me just a moment to get into some clothes and I'll join you for training." Pyrrha moved quickly to gather up some clothing to change into.
"No, no, that's okay, Pyrrha. You should stay here; it's gonna be colder than usual tonight and I don't want you getting sick."
"I'll dress warmly then," she said as she grabbed a jacket, "See? Easy fix."
He was standing right in front of the door now. "Pyrrha, you need to stay here and eat. You're still recovering and I would feel terrible if you overexerted yourself when you didn't have to because of me."
"That's okay, Jaune. I don't have to fight you to help you. I can just observe and give you pointers here and there; and don't worry about the food, it'll still be here when we get ba-"
"Pyrrha, please just stay here! I don't need any help tonight. I'll be just fine on my own." He was very exasperated as he said this and he was holding his hands together in a gesture of begging.
"Oh." Pyrrha was stunned at his outburst. He very rarely raised his voice and maybe only one time ever had he raised it at her, on that night only a week after they had come to Beacon. What he actually had said surprised her even more and made her chest constrict painfully as it sunk in. He doesn't need you anymore, Pyrrha, but what he's also saying is that he doesn't want you anymore. You're nothing to him. It was a horrible thought. An absolutely terrifying thought. A nigh incomprehensible thought. But that was all she could think after what he said. She stared listlessly ahead as the doubt in her mind went wild.
Jaune reached out for her but she backed away out of reflex like a frightened animal. This was too much, all of these conflicting thoughts and emotions. She wanted to grab him and plead with him to tell her what she had done wrong. She wanted to run away and never look back, get away from the hurt he was causing her. She knew that it would have inevitably come to this from the start. She couldn't understand how it could have ever come to this. She loved him. She hated him. She hated herself. She could only think to do one thing.
"Pyrrha, wait, I didn't…I mean, just let me-"
"No," she shook her head and backed farther away from him, "You should go now."
He looked crestfallen and his eyes fell to look down in shame at the ground before he turned and exited the room. She turned and moved over to her bed. Mechanically, she changed into her nightwear and lay down, the plate of food as well as her previous hunger forgotten. There were several loud thumps that she could hear coming from the hallway. When they stopped she stared straight ahead with little doubt in her mind that she would not be getting any sleep tonight. Instead, Pyrrha watched the empty bed across from her all through the night as her thoughts ate away at her. No one ever came to lay in it.
Pyrrha's eyes cracked open in response to the sun making its way into the room through the cracks in the curtains. She was surprised to realize that she must have fallen asleep at some point in the night because it sure didn't feel like she had. She rubbed her eyes and got up to stretch out any kinks in her joints and muscles. A long yawn and the soft groaning of two mattresses signified that Ren and Nora were awake as well. Jaune's bed was still empty. She heard Nora pad over to her.
"Where's Jaune?"
Pyrrha looked at her shorter friend with tired eyes and spoke with a tone to match.
"I don't know, Nora."
"Well, did he ever come back last night?"
"I don't know, Nora."
"Is he okay?"
"I don't know, Nora."
"Are you okay?"
"I don't think so."
Nora frowned and motioned for Pyrrha to lean down as if she needed to whisper something in her ear, to which the redhead obliged. When Pyrrha's head was level with Nora's and her ear tilted toward her mouth Nora threw her arms around the taller girl's shoulders and drew her into a tight embrace. Pyrrha was caught off guard at first but quickly recovered and returned the embrace with an equal amount of emotion. It was a long while before they finally broke off the hug and when they did Ren stepped in to remind them of his presence.
"What happened last night?"
Pyrrha squirmed in place before answering, "I'd rather not say exactly aside from Jaune brought me some food and then left to do his regular nightly training."
"Well, whatever did transpire, it had a profound effect on our leader."
"How so?"
"When I passed him on my way to our room last night he was looking particularly guilty and troubled. So wrapped in thought was he that he barely acknowledged my greeting to him as we passed, if at all."
"Oh."
"And I believe I heard him mumbling something along the lines of, 'I always manage to mess everything up'."
"Oh?"
"Yes, and so while I hate to sound harsh I advise you to either tell Nora and I exactly what happened or, if it is too personal, take care of it posthaste."
"Okay, Ren. I'll be sure to do that."
"We're here for you. Both of you." He put his hand on her shoulder in reassurance and it made Pyrrha smile.
This new information was quite enlightening to Pyrrha. Maybe I was wrong about him not wanting me anymore.
"Come on, guys, let's go get something to eat! You can't get cheered up on an empty stomach!" Nora jumped up and wrapped an arm around each of their shoulders, hanging in between them with a bright smile on her face. Pyrrha and Ren shared a laugh before the three made their way to the mess hall, Pyrrha musing all the way there. I really am glad to have caring friends like these with me. Then her thoughts went back to the previous night.
He was trying to say something else before he left, but I never let him finish. What if he was trying to apologize and about to explain what's been going on with him? What was he going to say? Oh, why didn't I just let him finish?
The members of Team JNPR, minus their leader, arrived at the mess hall to find RWBY waiting for them at their shared table where they quickly sat down. However, Jaune was once again noticeably absent. Pyrrha's heart sank a little at this until her scroll buzzed in her pocket. She pulled it out to see that she had received a message, from Jaune no less. With slight hesitation she opened the message.
I don't deserve any forgiveness for what I said last night but I still wanted to say I'm sorry. I've still got all of that stuff on my mind that I told you about before and I want to fix all of it. I just need more time to think.
That was the Jaune that she knew talking: caring and honest, but still trying to avoid talking about his feelings. So, he did want to talk about it. He just needed a push. Pyrrha was all but too happy to give him that push. Time's up, Jaune. You are talking about this tonight whether you feel ready or not. Now she had a goal and she was determined to reach it. And when Pyrrha Nikos was determined to do something there wasn't much anyone could do to stop her.
Her mind went to work planning out what needed to be done tonight and her body was set to autopilot. Any questions asked about Jaune by Team RWBY were fielded with political precision. Notes and classwork were done with mechanical efficiency. Everything she did in the physical realm was reflexive. All of her focus was directed inwardly and she grew more confident the future of herself and Jaune as a plan of action took form. By the end of the day, as she was heading back to JNPR's dorm, she had everything ready and the plan was set into motion.
Ren and Nora would be gone tonight as per her request. Ren had understood her perfectly when she explained that she didn't want Jaune to feel like he was being cornered. Whatever was going on was obviously between their leader and her and so she wanted to talk it out with him alone. Nora had been against it, saying that they should do it as a team because it would affect the team as a whole. She even offered to hold Jaune down while they beat the truth out of him. Thankfully Ren was able to dissuade Nora from her noble intentions and offered to take her to the movies that night as a peace offering. Nora had accepted with much enthusiasm and wished Pyrrha good luck before speeding off to the next airship into Vale with her lifelong friend in tow.
So while Jaune was away training himself to death, and Nora and Ren were waiting in line to see some film about a god who could command the power of lightning and used a hammer to fight injustice and stop his trickster brother's sinister plot, or something like that, Pyrrha was left lying in wait in her bed for Jaune's return. As she waited she mulled over what exactly she should say. How to break the ice? How exactly to confront him? Earlier she had been filled with such a fierce confidence and determination, but now, with the moment of truth fast approaching, those feelings were leaving her and quickly being replaced with uncertainty. Insecurities are a hard thing to keep under control, and with recent events Pyrrha was finding it to be monumentally more difficult to quell her deep seated fears. She reminded herself that Jaune had been there every day when she was recuperating, and he had saved her a meal when he heard that she had been caught in a rainstorm. He still cared.
Her resolve hardened and she was able to push the lump in her throat back down. Whatever this was, it hadn't driven them apart. They could overcome this. No. They would overcome this. Together. She didn't need to think about what to say to him. She just had to say exactly what she felt, give voice to her fears, the absolute truth, if that was what she wanted from him in return. It was time to practice what she had preached so many times before.
It wasn't much longer until the door to the room opened and in walked the leader of Team JNPR. He was looking exceptionally worn down, his brow thoroughly wet from perspiration, and with how all of his attire clung to his body it was apparent that he had worked up just as much of a sweat on the rest of his person. The bags she had seen under his eyes when he had visited her in the medical ward were displayed prominently thanks to his flushed face. He was exhausted enough that he had to lean heavily against the wall to stay upright and move about the room lest he collapse right then and there. But that wasn't the worst of it. There, in his eyes, was that same look from days ago; the look that said that the rigors he was putting his body through were not what was punishing him the most right now.
Pyrrha felt pained as she watched him struggle his way to the bathroom and fumble around with taking his clothes off on the way there. He was halfway undressed when he reached the door and stumbled inside of their bathroom and, after shutting the door behind himself, Pyrrha was thankful that the next sound she heard was the water running and not him falling to the floor. She waited until he had finished his shower, brushed his teeth, and gotten into his nightwear and then she addressed him.
"Jaune."
The boy who had been just about to lay in his own bed suddenly froze at her voice.
"Jaune, what's the matter?"
Slowly he turned to see her now sitting up in her bed, hands clasped in her lap and head tilted to the side just slightly.
"Uuuhhh...whaddya mean? N-nothing's wrong. Everything's fine, I'm fine. See?"
He smiled unconvincingly and Pyrrha gave him a hard look which told him she wasn't buying it for a second. She shifted to the side and softened her gaze to a look of pure concern.
Jaune interpreted the action immediately and sighed, head and shoulders falling down as he trudged over to her bed and sat down beside her.
"Now, I'll ask you again; what is the matter? Why have you been avoiding me?"
He moved his head side to side as he tried to find the words to what he was feeling. After a while he looked up to her.
"You shouldn't be with me, Pyrrha."
That was a hot knife to the abdomen.
"What? But...why?"
"Because in a partnership, and a relationship, you're supposed to make each other better and I didn't do that. I got you hurt. Because of my incompetence, you could've been killed. I failed as both a leader and a boyfriend. You should have better."
That was the last thing she ever wanted to hear come out of his mouth. That was always what she feared the most: to be put back on the shelf like a trophy in a display case, alone and separated from the outside, only admired for achievements instead of for who she was. She was not about to let herself be put behind the glass.
"Don't you dare think that! Don't put me on that pedestal!"
"I have only ever dragged you down, Pyrrha. All I've done is take from you. You could do so much more without me, this whole team would do better if you were the leader and I wasn't on it. You're better off without me."
"Jaune, you can be so infuriating sometimes! You have not dragged me down, I pulled you up to show you how great you can and will become if you would just let go of your insecurities."
"You're wrong about me being great. After all you've done for me, look what kind of thanks I gave you!" He jabbed his index finger at her leg brace to emphasize his point.
"Jaune, it wasn't your fault. I got a little distracted with all of those Grimm to juggle. I'm not perfect-"
"Of course you're not, Pyrrha. No one is perfect, but I shouldn't have put you in a situation where you could get overwhelmed and slip up. My job as a leader is to make sure my team is safe, and I failed. I failed you. I am a failure and I don't know why you expected anything else of me."
Her mind did a double take at his statement. Then she felt a warmth spread all throughout her person. She couldn't help but grab him up in a tight hug. Her title of Pyrrha Nikos wasn't what he thought he should distance himself from, it was his title as Jaune Arc that he wanted to distance her from. Then the last part of that revelation finally hit her and that warmth turned into a roaring fire. She let go immediately and slapped him across the face, hard.
"Jaune, quit being an idiot!"
He looked at her, shocked beyond belief. Not only had she hit him, but she'd also just called him an idiot. She never used those kinds of words, ever, and she certainly never struck people (outside of combat practice, that is). She would apologize later, but first she had to set him straight. He truly was special. In his eyes she was amazing, but she was still human. She was allowed to make mistakes and he wouldn't think any less of her. Pyrrha was probably the only girl in the world who would be overjoyed by being told she wasn't perfect, and she loved him all the more for saying it. But his logic was flawed. While he didn't blame others for not being perfect all the time he never allowed himself the same luxury even though, arguably, he had been the least perfect among them all in the beginning, being a terrible swordsman and not exactly the brightest student.
"Jaune, I can take care of myself, just like Ren and Nora can take care of themselves. You have to trust that we can do that. You aren't directly responsible for any of our actions, so you shouldn't blame yourself for any mistake that we, that I, make."
"But I am responsible, Pyrrha. I'm the leader of this team, I-"
She put her palm across his mouth to cut him off and said, "Jaune, I am the one who controls my actions, not you, but I choose to follow you because I trust you with my life and I know that you will do what is right. If I didn't think that then I would not follow your orders."
He pulled her hand away to allow himself to speak.
"But-"
Immediately her hand moved to cover his mouth again and he made a frustrated groan, rolling his eyes at her as well.
"Jaune. Did any of those villagers get severely wounded during our mission?"
After some thought, he shook his head.
"Right, and did Ren or Nora get severely wounded."
He shook his head again.
"Did I get severely wounded?"
He made a noise that sounded like a muffled 'Uh, yeah!' and pointed to her leg again.
"Did I get killed?"
Another shake of his head.
"Now, didn't someone come in to finish off those Grimm and get me safely back to the village?"
He nodded.
"And who was it that saved me?"
He lightly placed his index finger against his chest as he pointed to himself. She smiled and removed her hand from his mouth. Then she placed her hands on either side of his head and leaned in so that their foreheads touched.
"You made the right choices. I may have broken my leg but everyone made it out alive thanks to you and your leadership. That's not a failure, Jaune, that's a success."
He sighed and closed his eyes. His hands came up to encompass her own and he gently squeezed them.
"Now instead of believing what other people, people who don't know you, think you're worth or whether or not they think you're worthy of Pyrrha Nikos, stop and think: who would know better who is good enough for me? Me, Pyrrha, your partner, the girl who cherishes and adores you, or the people who only think they know Pyrrha Nikos?"
They pulled apart and she was greeted by a sheepish smile. He looked towards the floor like a child scolded would with a tinge of embarrassment coloring his cheeks.
"Eh hehe, uh, that would be-um...that is...," he let a puff of air escape his lips and hung his head in shame, nodding slowly and conceding to her point, "you would."
"So he's not completely dense after all."
Her adorable tinkling laugh accompanied her words and if his mind hadn't been put to rest before, it certainly was now. He grinned and leaned in to give her and Eskimo kiss. Then, wanting to continue the playful moment, he ventured to ask, "So what kind of guy is good enough for you?"
She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down with her as she lay back on the bed, body pressed against his back. She moved to rest her chin in the crook of his neck and whispered softly in his ear.
"I want a guy that is kind and caring, not only to me but to everyone around him, a guy that cherishes and loves me for who I am and not what I am, a guy that makes me happy every day. A guy like you, Jaune Arc," she smirked and added, "Also, it doesn't hurt that you're good looking."
He chuckled for a moment at that but the sound soon died in his throat. His breath hitched and it sent a small shiver throughout his body. She felt him shift against her, curling in on himself slightly in a bodily sigh. He spoke in a voice that was just barely above a whisper. She could hear the self-loathing drizzled on top of every word.
"I'm so sorry, Pyrrha. I was stupid and a jerk and I would totally understand if you wanted me to sleep alone tonight." He started to inch away and moved to get up but she cinched her arms tighter around his torso, keeping him firmly in place. She pulled him back the couple inches he'd moved away and put her chin back in the crook of his neck.
"No, you're staying right here. Tonight my knight in shining armor needs a hero."
He relaxed and eased back into her hold. He turned his head to look at her out of the corner of his eyes. They twinkled in the moonlight with sincerity and gratefulness and unadulterated affection pooling on the surface of his orbs.
"I love you, Pyrrha."
"I love you too, Jaune," And because champions always come out on top, she added, "and don't you ever think otherwise or I'll have to smack you again."
With that she kissed his cheek and pulled her sheets over them. The pair nestled closer together as sleep overcame them.
So how was that? Do you feel that I made an accurate portrayal of a side of the Arkos dynamic? What could I have done better? I'd love to hear what you guys have to say. Stay tuned for more from yours truly.