This is seriously something that popped in my head, I don't know if its really funny, but I tried. A one-shot in which Rangiku tries to somehow get her taicho to act as if he were in a movie...or something or the sorts.
Attempt 1
Matsumoto, Rangiku lieutenant of squad 10 was cheerfully walking into the squad barracks....late as usual. Cheerfully, she skidded down the halls before finally reaching her beloved Taicho's office. Opening the door fully, she announced her arrival, "I'm here!" the only thing she heard was a slight grunt from the beloved Taicho, Hitsugaya, Toshiro.
"Matsumoto, get to work." that was the only response she had received upon her arrival. Suddenly, a hell butterfly flew inside from the window landing on Rangiku's index finger, she read the message aloud.
"Taicho and Lieutenant of squad 10, there has been reports of hollows invading Rukungai, you are to eliminate them immediately." once the message was fully read, the hell butterfly had flown away.
"Well taicho seems like were on duty!" Rangiku said slightly annoyed. Toshiro nodded and stood up from his chair, they both walked out the office and started to shunpo to their destination.
Once reaching the destination, they came encountered with several hollows, Toshiro sternly said to Rangiku, "Stay focused and be careful" with that being said he was about to shunpo out of sight and kill the hollows until he heard,
"Taichoooooo!!" which caught him completely off guard and nearly loosing his footing, he turned to her giving a glare. "What!?" he asked irritated, Rangiku slapped her forehead and shook her head in disapproval.
She replied saying, "Taicho! You did it all wrong! You were suppose to say something like 'I'm sorry Rangiku, but its something I must do.'" she was saying this as she did a pose which was her right hand on the tip of her forehead and her eyes closed, head titled downward, to show Toshiro what he was actually in her words "suppose to do". Toshiro, who was now filled with utter confusion, titled his head to the side and asked again, "What?"
Rangiku let out an exasperated sigh and soon started explaining, "Taicho, haven't you seen movies? When a person important to them is about to do something drastic and possibly harmful as well, they scream out their name to somehow show a dramatic scene. Possibly, trying to stop them, but to no avail." now even more confused then before Toshiro said, "Meaning?"
"Meaning, that your not suppose to stop what your doing and say 'what?' you simply keep going!" said Rangiku, still disappointed as to her taicho's actions. Toshiro somehow comprehending all this frowned and answered, "Well that's stupid, who'd do that?" seeing that her taicho wasn't getting the point in this, Rangiku sighed and responded, "Forget it" a few silent moments later both announced in unison "The hollows!!"
Attempt 2
Matsumoto, Rangiku was comfortably lying on the couch. She hummed and had her eyes closed, while her taicho was at his desk doing the paperwork...again.
"Matsumoto, why can't you ever do your share of paperwork for once?" Toshiro said while gritting his teeth. Rangiku stopped her humming and opened her eyes, she sat up and looked toward the direction of her taicho.
"Ne, taicho your being silly, I do my share...every now and then!" Rangiku said trying to defend herself, but failing.
"Every now and then is like once a year for you, anyways there's a taicho's meeting being held in a while. Can you try and finish the paperwork while I'm gone."
"Of course! Leave everything to me!"
"That's what I'm afraid of" Toshiro mumbled. He rose from his seat and slided the door open, heading out to the taicho's meeting. He walked down the hall until he heard a familiar cry from his lieutenant.
"Taichoooooo!!" he abruptly came to a halt and turned around saying, "What is it now Matsumoto?" this lead to Rangiku crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her head from side to side.
"Taicho your doing it all wrong!" Toshiro sighed and spoke again, "What am I doing wrong?"
"Your suppose to keep walking ignoring my cry! And saying something along the lines of 'Forgive me Rangiku'" this statement clearly cause the poor taicho to try and understand what she was trying to tell him. His expression read 'confusion'. "What?" was the only thing he could come up with.
Rangiku heaved a sigh "In movies, taicho, when someone dear to them is leaving the person they care for, for reasons unknown the girl cries out to him, but he completely ignores her for if he did pay any attention he'd regret it. So that's why he mentally says to himself 'forgive me' and then he says the name of the girl!"
"Oh, come on Matsumoto that's just plain stupid, I mean really why'd would they say that...on second thought why would anyone say that!" Toshiro said irritated.
"It's true they do that in movies taicho, makes it seem more dramatic and depressing!" Toshiro could only sigh at how silly this all was.
"Matsumoto you've been watching to many movies, would it kill you to--" but he was cut in by Rangiku, "Ne, taicho...don't you have a meeting to attend?" eyes going slightly wide, Toshiro shunpo'd off before he'd be late.
Attempt 3
Matsumoto, Rangiku happily skidded through Seretei, Intruding in every division except of course, the 2nd, 11th, and 12th divisions. She went out to drink with her drinking buddies, disturb Shunsui just so Nanao could hit him with a book, and even bothered poor Ukitake. She was happily going to return to her lovely taicho and anger him in some way. Along she walked to her beloved barracks.
Once she had arrived, she walked toward the office. Sliding the door she was about to yell out her arrival when she saw her taicho lying on the couch. She gasped and ran toward him grabbed him harshly by the shoulders and shaking him, he however did not respond and so Rangiku yelled out, "Taichooooo!!" eyes going wide open at the sudden and extremely loud shout Toshiro yelled back, "What? Hollows?, Menos?, Espadas? What?"
Rangiku hearing her taicho babble giggled, but then her giggles subsided and frowned. "Taicho." confused he responded, "What?" after long moments of silence Rangiku whined, "Taicho! You did it all wrong again!!"
Toshiro ruffled his hair and sighed, "What did I do wrong?"
"You weren't suppose to say 'What? Hollows?, Menos?, Espadas? What?' you were suppose to slowly open your eyes and place a hand on my cheek saying, 'Rangiku...I lo--' but your never finish your sentence because you die!"
"Oh come on! That's absurd! Your going to tell me that movies do this too!?"
"As a matter a fact they do!" Rangiku happily responded. Toshiro growled he couldn't even sleep a bit because Rangiku was sure to do something. He laid back on the couch and said in a serious tone, "Matsumoto, let me sleep" Rangiku sighed but nodded. She got up and walked out the door, feeling again disappointed in her taicho's actions.
Attempt 4
Hitsugaya, Toshiro and Matsumoto Rangiku were walking the streets in Karakura. They had been sent out on a mission much to Rangiku's excitement and irritation of Toshiro's. They walked along discussing important matters, but every now and then Rangiku would change the subject. "Those shoes were adorable, right taicho? I mean--" "Matsumoto, stop talking about the shoes and concentrate on why were here in the first place." came the voice of Toshiro.
"Aww, your no fun taicho, besides only talking about that is boring!" Toshiro sighed he closed his eyes continuing walking until, "Taichooooo!!"
"Not this time Matsumoto!" he wasn't about to stop and hear yet another idiotic explanation about what he should have done. "But, taichooo!!" Rangiku tried again.
"No" was his simply response, he took another step, but instead of walking a straight road in descended downward, he opened his eyes and realized there were stairs. He lost balance and was going to completely tumble down the stairs until a hand gripped his wrist fiercely and pulled him back.
Still a bit stunned he didn't utter a word until Rangiku spoke, "Taicho! You could have fallen and then what? Maybe broken bones!" He finally came to his normal self and gritted his teeth, "Well, I would have stopped walking when you called out, but since you always did that and it ended up in a movie conversation I didn't!"
Rangiku sighed, "but taicho, you did it all wrong!" a vein popped out of his head and he asked yet again, "What? What did I do wrong this time?"
"Well for one, in movies when something bad is about to happen to someone they yell out!" Toshiro merely nodded indicating to continue "So when I call out your name anxiously you have to stop or turn or something!"
"Matsumoto"
"Hai?"
"This conversation is over" and with that said Toshiro continued walking down the stairs. Rangiku couldn't help but laugh while following her taicho. Although what she had planned didn't go like in the movies she'd seen, she still enjoyed torturing her taicho.