Warning: Profanity.

A/N: So, last summer, I binge-watched Friends on Netflix and I was, like, obsessed with Chandler and Monica. This fic is inspired by an episode wherein the two debated about the likelihood of them dating (and, by the time of the season finale, they totally hooked up).

Anyways, the first half of this fic takes place in between "Clonesy" and "The Birthday Boy." The last half is post-"Snow Job."

Jonesy blinked once, trying to process what he just heard from Nikki.

"Are you really telling me there's no chance of me being your boyfriend?"

She nodded with a swiftness, as if it took her no time to decide. "Yep."

"Like, ever?"

"Not a snowball's chance in hell."

"So, even if we were the last two people on earth and all we had was each other, I still wouldn't be your boyfriend?"

"That's unlikely to happen, and yes."

"Yes, I'm your boyfriend or yes, I'm not?"

"The second one."

"Are you kidding me?" His arms flailed as he attempted to get her to see the bigger picture. "We went out once!"

"And that was fun, but I don't see you as boyfriend material, Jonesy. You're still just as much of a friend to me as Jude and Wyatt."

He grew outraged that she could deny his "effortless Jonesmeister charm." His mouth parted to insist, "Um, I'm totally boyfriend material! That's what I'm made of!"

"Suuuuuure."

"C'mon, Nikki! I'm funny as hell; I know how to show a girl a good time; not to mention, I'm an amazing kisser."

She rolled her eyes. "And you're also an arrogant, immature, womanizing, lazy slob."

"That's slander, Nik. I could sue you."

"Not if it's the truth."

Though he didn't always know how to come out on top when they bickered, he knew how this time. "So, if all those things are true about me, then why'd you go out with me that one time?"

Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

He smirked, feeling smug now that he had her cornered.

She fumbled for an explanation. Before she could form a coherent sentence, she stammered, "Because…"

"Because?" he leaned in, oh-so-intrigued to hear how she would answer his question. While she remained silent, he thought of the things she could confess.

Something along the lines of, "I couldn't resist that Jonesmeister charm."

Or perhaps, "I'm into you, Jonesy."

Maybe even, "I've always wanted to hook up with you."

As he should have known, her actual response veered away from what his mind enabled him to believe.

"I was curious about what it'd be like if we were to go out. I wanted a glimpse of what it would be like if we dated, if I was your girlfriend."

"...And?"

"The answer's still no, Jonesy."

"Dammit."

Jonesy rested his hand against the small of Nikki's back as they kissed on his bed. Her legs straddled his waist and his back sunk into his comforter. They exchanged soft moans and tender laughs while their lips met.

When she parted from his kiss, he chuckled. He found every moment since their winter-formal reunion to be ironic.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing. I just thought of something kinda funny, that's all," he said, dismissing the thought that popped into his head.

"So?" She stroked his cheek. "Entertain me, Casanova."

"I just find it funny how you said I'd never be your boyfriend, but here I am—being your boyfriend."

She appeared caught off-guard. "Yeah, well… things change."

"Well, I wanna know," he replied. "What did?"

She fell hush as a pink tint fell upon her cheeks. "Okay, so maybe I like the way that you… you get me."

He sensed another confession was there. "And?"

"And… you've got a good heart beneath that dickish exterior," she said with a smirk as she tapped his chest.

He wagged his eyebrows at her, trying to coax something else from her. "And?"

She rolled her eyes. "And you're handsome and a good kisser, you vain son of a bitch."

Finally. "I knew you couldn't deny me forever, baby," he said, flashing his teeth at her afterwards.

She laughed and said, "Shut up," before pressing her lips against his own again.

When she parted from him, he decided to give her a glimpse beneath his bravado. "Y'know," he said, keeping his voice tender, "I'm really glad you decided to give me another chance."

A warm grin curled her lips. "I am, too. You manage to blow me away sometimes, Garcia."

"Well, guess I gotta change that sometimes into an all the time, huh?"

She smirked. "Go for it. Impress me."

The bravado bounced back. "Oh, I will."