Bunny Boy VS Search Engines, a gakuen alice fanfic

Bunny Boy VS. Search Engine

Ruka's not-so-happy reaction to Googling his own name.

Dear whoever is allowing these posts about my friends and my life,

Thank you. For without you, I would never truly understand how uncomplicated my life is compared to how exceptionally intricate you let it be.

So I was just being quite an obedient boy, as I always am, looking for pictures for my STD project (which weren't pretty, by the way), and as the health teacher's eyes wander off to Kitsu who was watching Epic Meal Time on YouTube, for the sake of passing time, I decided to just Google my name.

Guess what I found?

About 105,000 results… For ME. I couldn't believe it. Even image results came out of when I was ten, holding a bunny and looking awfully feminine. That was definitely NOT a good shot, taken probably by Imai.

Then, as I scrolled down the Google Results page, on Answers. com, apparently somebody wrote this:

"Does ruka nogi love mikan sakura?" Under the section Arts and Crafts.

Answer? "Yes he does. However, he has given up on her, letting her be with Natsume."

;alsdkfj a;sldkjf w[poji ;falojkd s;ltj;soadij a;li42t [pqoif sdkj l;ka

That's all of my secrets, right there, written so easily on the internet. I mean, if they were going to spill details about my rejections, the least they could've done was capitalize our names. Yet Natsume gets to have his name capitalized? No fair.

First, I presumed it was Imai. She was always the evil mastermind behind those things. But this? This was low, even for her. So it couldn't be her. But I searched her name, all the more, and she had 249,000 results.

WTF. She had more results than I did. But I'm more popular… Right? Then, on one of the results, it read:

How can I act like Hotaru Imai from Gakuen Alice? The answers were pretty straightforward, but what I wanted to see were things like: DON'T TRY IT. And… there wasn't any of that sort. I was kind of disappointed.

I started searching everyone at the school. Everyone.

When I got to Sakura, it was quite different. There were so many damn results, that's why. And no, I'm not jealous. Why would I be?

One thing that did catch my attention: Alice Academy- is Mikan Sakura a lesbian?

That made me LOL. Out loud. Which caught Natsume's attention, because I used his laptop to specifically search up his dearly beloved. When he looked over my shoulder, he chuckled. When I explained the whole situation, about myself as well, he shrugged and laughed. He only had one thing to say:

"Was there any question about you being gay?"

I gave him the silent treatment after that.

Whatever. Now, I don't even feel safe walking down the academy, knowing someone lurks to take photographs or notes on my life.

But I swear, today is the day.

Today, I will find who that person is, and protect our academy for good. This kind of corruption cannot stand- and will not stand, even in the corrupt government that is Alice Academy.

Wait.

I just saw a pig carrying a notebook. Writing stuff.

Crap.

I found the spy. I did it!

WAIT! Who's that?

IMAI? She's giving something to the pig… Is it a photograph? And… information on our personal lives?

I knew it. I just knew that she was somehow involved in all of this. I mean, how could she get more results than me in Google, after all?

Sorry, but I have to go. Rage on them.

… And maybe Google some more.

Sincerely,

Ruka Nogi

Yes, this is crack. But if you want a sequel… Gimme suggestions, 'kay?

My next story will go something along the lines of…

Of Firecrackers, Geese and Their Bumps

"I think feel goosebumps around him." "Which one, the I-feel-really-cold ones, or the oh-crap-there's-a-horror-movie-villian-with-a-ski-mask-behind-me-with-a-knife ones?" In which Mikan and Hotaru discuss a certain hothead.

What do you think? Watch out for it, willya?