"Dib, go get the mail."

Dib looked up from his edition of Crop Circles Magazine. Gaz was sitting in the armchair a few feet away from him, apparently engrossed in her game, though not so much that she had missed the creak of the mail slot.

He stood up and stretched. He had been comfortable sitting on the couch, but he didn't try to argue with his sister.

As he walked to the door, he noticed that the mail had come two hours early. There was only a package, addressed to him, which, oddly enough, was to big to have been pushed through the mail slot.

He picked it up, surprised. He hadn't ordered anything that wasn't due for a few weeks. While he opened it in the kitchen, he tried to remember if there were anyone who would send something to him. It was probably just a trick from Zim, which meant it couldn't be too dangerous. Probably another flatulent-pygmy-moose…

Inside was a letter, resting on top of a metallic object. He opened the letter first, and began to read:

To Mr. Dib Membrane (we know that's not your last name, but we couldn't find the real one),

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Just kidding.

You have been selected as a nominee in the 224th annual, Heroes of the Anti-Irken Resistance (H.A.I.R.) awards. The ceremony is being hosted on planet Introa, and will begin in approximately a week of your time. We apologize that we could not have warned you earlier, but we were unable to, with your remote location. The Heroes of the Anti-Irken Resistance Special People Receiving Awards Yrillers (H.A.I.R.-S.P.R.A.Y.) only recently added you to the list. (Yrillers are the species in charge of selecting the nominees).

Simply activate the signal box in the package, and our ship will pick you up. Be sure to pack your own clothing. Food will be provided. Portable restrooms are not necessary. You can activate the signal any time you are ready, though the latest you can use it is 24 hours before the awards.

We hope to see you there!

The signature at the bottom was written in an incomprehensible alien script. Below this was the English translation:

---Naida Entorro

N-labs head researcher, Head of H.A.I.R. awards Introan planning committee.

P.S. I hoped you liked the reference to human culture. I had to sample Earth literature a bit to make sure I wouldn't offend.

Dib sat there, in stunned silence. He read the letter over a few times, letting it sink in.

A wide grin settled on his face: He was going into space! He would be able to meet aiens that didn't want to kill him! Portable restroom were not necessary!

He had to get ready! Dib ran upstairs and dug his suitcase out of the closet. He quickly began to pile stuff in: His clothes, his camera, his laptop, his backup camera, some film, more film…

As he worked, excitement built in his chest. He couldn't believe would be people who put up with what he did! People who knew what it was like to have to fight the Irkens day in and day out! People who would provide him with restrooms! (He kept thinking about that restroom part).

After he was packed, he quickly sent a message to the Swollen Eyeball Network. He scribbled a note to his father, saying that he had gone to summer camp, and wouldn't be back until the 18th.

He ran out the door, carrying the package with him. He yelled back over his shoulder, "Gaz, I'm going into space! I'll be back in a week!"

Gaz merely grunted, and didn't look up from her game.

Zim was watching Dib out on his front lawn. He appeared to be fiddling with some strange device, grinning all the time. He was obviously sending a transmission, but to who?

Zim turned around and looked at GIR, who was fiddling with a hot dog.

"GIR!" Zim said, "Radio mode!"

GIR snapped into duty mode for a second, gave Zim a quick salute, then simply froze there, his mouth projecting noise he picked up. Zim twisted GIR's eyes to adjust the frequency: Nothing-commercial-commercial-nothing-eerie high-frequency noises-nothing-commercial…

While Zim, having completely ignored the right signal, fiddled with GIR, a spaceship descended into the atmosphere. Within a few minutes it was floating above Dib's head, and extending a ramp down to the ground.

Zim growled, as a sudden burst of static drowned out everything else on the radio, and looked up, just in time to see Dib board a spaceship, which took off.

He stared at the sky, mouth agape, before regaining his composure and marching home. He didn't know why the Dib-beast was leaving, but he was going to find out.