Jade was looking forward to her play. She's been looking forward to it for months, counting the fact no one accepted her to produce her play since it was "morbid" but that's nothing new for Jade. Even though we're not together anymore, I want to see her play succeed so I offered to help her. Jade on the other hand, still butt-hurt about everything, limited what I could help her with. She said she can do it all on her own. Ha, same old Jade. She put me on the props department.
Jade and I try keeping distance from each other, or at least she's been trying more than me. In public, she smiles that fake smile of hers and pretends to talk to me as if we were the best of friends. She doesn't want to seem "weak", not that after a break up being broken would make you weak. I know her too well though, she is broken, no matter how many excuses she makes up to avoid working on something with me or how many lies she tells to everyone saying she's "over it". I guess talking about this might make it seem like I'm caught up about it too. It's been a month and I still am. I miss her but not her...you know. I miss the way she was before but I can't say that since I'm basically the one that probably changed her. But when people ask me if I miss her, I still say the same thing; I don't miss Jade, I miss the old Jade.
It's almost 8 O'clock and Jade has me working late for her on the props with Cat and Sinjin. Sinjin has been playing with the lights and effects for probably half an hour now. At times I'd have to remind him to focus on what he's doing so we can leave earlier, but after 3 or 4 minutes he would go back to turning our theater into a strobe club. Cat came running downstairs and passed by me without saying anything.
"Cat!" I called and she turned sharply turned her velvet head to me.
"What?" Cat asked me. I scoffed at her.
"I asked you to get me more glue remember?" I had a feeling she'd pretend she didn't remember.
"Oh! Well we ran out." Cat said holding onto her blue dress and smiling.
"How could we run out? Jade bought a bunch like two days ago." I looked up at Sinjin.
"Sinjin, do you know where all the glue went?"
He stared at me and started hesitating and replied back saying
"What? You think I stole the glue? No! I haven't seen it!"
I could hear Cat's giggling behind me and I sighed.
"Why would you take all the glue? You know how mad Jade will be if she finds out?" I said and he gasped.
"Don't tell Jade! I'll buy glue and no one will have to know about this." Sinjin said nodding quickly.
"I willlll." Cat said raising her hand and I turned my head to her to see her slightly laughing. I gave her a dense look.
"But I won't."
"Thank you guys!" Sinjin said and I waved my hand in the air out of not concerning.
"Don't worry about it. I think we're done for tonight guys, I need to get home anyways." I walked over to the stage lights and turned them off. Sinjin unplugged the lighting and effects system and came down stairs to us and took all the stage equipment.
"Hey Sinjin?" Cat walked over to him and Sinjin had a big grin spread across his face.
"Yes cat?" He flipped his bush hair and Cat looked down at the equipment back to him.
"What are you going to do with all the glue?" She stared at him in suspicion and Sinjin's grin disappeared.
"Well...I-" and with those two unsteady words, Sinjin ran out the door. Cat stood there with her eyes blinking blankly. She turned back to me and walked over grabbing one of the bags in my hand.
"I'll help you with that." Cat grabbed the bag and wrapped her short arms around it, holding it against her stomach.
"No it's fine, I can carry it." I protested about to reach for it but she skipped back away from me smiling.
"It's fine beck! Besides, since you're driving me home I should at least help right?"
I looked up at her slowly, with eyebrows raised and chuckled. She on the other hand, was still smiling.
"I'm driving you home?"
Her smile slowly transformed into a grin.
"Yeah! I told Jade I couldn't come help tonight because I wouldn't have anyone to take me home but she told me you could take me home." Cat said jiggling the bag in her arms. Of course. I should of known she would volunteer me into something without asking first. I ran my hands down my face and groaned, and could see Cat frowning. I didn't want to make it seem like I wasn't going to take her home nor that I wasn't the one who said I would take her home. I walked over to her and motioned her to the doors and walked behind her all the way out to the parking lot without saying a word.
As I started the car, I could feel her looking at me and as I turned my head to her, she looked straight ahead. I turned away and could hear her lightly humming and from the corner of my eye, I saw her bobbing her head. I let out a deep sigh.
"You know you can talk if you want." I said turned the steering wheel as I drove out the parking lot.
"I don't want to make you any more mad than you are." She replied timidly. I looked back at her.
"Why would I be mad at you?" I asked and I knew she knew I was looking at her but she just starting playing with the tips of her hair and stared out the window.
"I don't know." She said and continued her humming from where she left off. I stared at her for a few more second and turned back.
"But I can tell you didn't want to drive me home." She said turning her head to me slowly and I turned to her, finally catching her downhearted face. I let out a laugh and smirked at her.
"I'm not mad at you and I don't mind driving you home. It's just Jade told you I would drive you home but didn't tell me." I said to her and she pressed her lips together.
"Well...at least now you have company! It's better to drive with a friend than alone right?" Cat said cheerfully, once again smiling. I grinned at her and turned the steering wheel.
"Yeah you're right. You're great company." I said and I heard her snicker and laughed.
"Did you know my brother got a bus license?" Cat said.
"Really? I thought after getting hit by a bus, you wouldn't want to drive one either." I replied.
"Yeah me too. But he doesn't have it anymore." Cat said in a low tone.
"Why not?"
"He hit himself with a bus."
I turned my head to Cat who was blinking at me.
"And how did he hit himself with a bus?" I asked her and she opened her mouth for a few second but nothing came out.
"Wellllll,"
For the rest of the drive, I focused myself on traffic lights and Cat telling me about her brother's strange accident. Finally, I drove up the small drive way of Cat's house, who's porch lights were still on even though the left one was flickering it's way to dying.
"And now he never wears green anymore." Cat finished off, not noticing that we arrived to her house. She looked around the car and peeked out the window and back at me.
"Thanks to driving me home!" She exclaimed and unlatched the door.
"No problem Cat." I turned over and unlatched my door, putting my feet over to get out. "And thanks-"
"What are you doing?" Cat interrupted and I looked back at her to see her still sitting in the passenger seat with her legs on the ground but staring at me with trembling eyes. I gave her a confused look.
"I'm coming out with you." I replied and she backed away and I saw her body shaking.
"Why? You took me home, isn't that all there was to it?" She said firmly but still with a cracked voice. I put my feet back in and stared at her.
"Okay okay Cat, I was just going to walk you up to the door but don't worry Cat, won't come out with you." I told her in a soft voice and I saw her eye dilate slowly and she let out a cough.
"Thanks again, I'll see you at school tomorrow." Cat said with not spaces or pauses. She hopped out the seat and slammed the door so hard it shook my car a little. I shut my door and stayed in the drive way, watching her pace herself up to the porch. She raised her hand to knock on the door but she looked back at me and I could see her slightly smile under the dim lights, and I could see her waving her hands forward motioning me to go. I shot a smile back at her and backed my car out the driveway and as I drove off, I saw her run in, disappearing behind the darkness of the house, and the porch lights turn off as the door closed.
"You're home late." I heard my mom say as I walked passed her sitting in the kitchen chair. I groaned quietly and turned back to look at her. There she was, drowning all her problems in a half burnt cigarette and a tall glass of tequila. The cup stood crocked on a pile of ash trays, spread around our white cloth on top of the table. I stared at her, washing her age herself away. She lighted the cigarette to her mouth and puffed in another hit and let the fumes flow up her nose. I could hear the slight beeping of the fire alarm, tempting to set itself off. By now, it knew better not to.
"I was helping with the play." I replied, backing away from the kitchen, heading myself upstairs.
"I just came here to get some stuff." I ran upstairs and caught one last look of her staring into space, puckering her pink pale lips, preparing herself for another hit. My mom hasn't been the same since my dad move out or even since I moved out. I wouldn't even call it moving out since I just live outside the house but short distance can create bigger distance between people. The only times I really talked to her would be if she went grocery shopping, my dad came to check on her, or if I came to get something in the house, like now. But she's too busy intoxicating her fears and I don't disturb her. I ran into my room to get my magazines and extra homework that I was going to finish but never did. I ran back downstairs and got a box of cereal from the fridge and saw my mom wasn't in the kitchen anymore. She left her mess on the table and as I walked out from the kitchen, she slept a mess on the couch. I grabbed my keys from the table and looked back at her sound asleep before I closed the door. I needed new things to occupy me and everything in my RV I've been using too much already.
Insomnia is a hell of a disorder.