"When you hate something you do not kill it. You hurt it."
Medraut's words ring clearly in my mind. 'You hurt it.' I did not mean to hurt you, Medraut. I would never mean to hurt you. You just made me mad.
"Wild thing... your beauty makes me sick. And oh, God, you have hurt me, you have hurt
me..."
'I didn't mean to!' I want to scream out. I feel a bit of Medraut's blood slide down my cheek. 'I love you! I would never hurt you! Please, Medraut! Please understand this, though I cannot speak it.'
"Do you doubt me?"
I would never doubt you, Medraut. I believe every word you say, whether I wish to or not.
"...There are things I can do to punish you that you will find more dreadful than any hurt."
Only leaving me, Medraut. Then I feel Medraut's lips pressed against my own, and for a split second, I am happier than I have ever been. The kiss lasted a long time, Medraut's tounge slipping between my utterly willing lips. It is all I can do not to respond to the kiss. I lay as still as I can manage, forcing every bit of myself to remember exactly what Medraut's lips feel like on my own, what he tastes like, what he smells like...
Why do you do this to me, Medraut? Why do you have such an affect on me? You are the only one who can do this to me, can make my heart soar and my blood run cold... Do you hate me? You have hurt me more than you will ever know...
Medraut pulls back, and a soft sob slips through my lips. I almost follow Medraut up, but restrain myself.
"Your mouth is sweet."
'Why must you do this?' I cry out desperatly in my mind. 'Why-'
"God," The word slips through my lips. Why do you do this to me, Medraut? Why must it be you?
"Lie still. Lie still. Am I not well armed against you even without steel? I need no more than a few drops of blood, and this..."
It is not the blood that bothers me, Medraut, nor the tiredness, or cold, or snow. It is you, Medraut, you who will drive me insane, though I must not let you know it.
"Don't. Don't, my lord."
I have so much to lose.
"What do you want, Medraut? The inheritance you would win from our father will never give you power over me, me-"
You already have complete power over me, Medraut. Nothing you could gain would give you access to more of me, for there is nothing left.
"-and I will never beg for your mercy,"
Though I beg mercy of you now. Let me continue to love you from a distance, where I know you will not hate me for it.
"-even though you try to drive me mad."
It has already happened. My insanity can deepen no more. How ironic that you, the source, are the only thing that drives away my dark thoughts. Many times you have scolded your mother for harm that I inflicted upon myself...
"I may be afraid of death, but I do not fear you."
Lies.
"So you say."
I felt my eyes widen. Am I that weak, that he could see my true thoughts?
"Then do what you will with me." I feel my voice breaking.
"You are going to stitch my hand shut."
"I am not!" And risk hurting you more with my unsteady hand? Risk infecting you with my insanity? Never.
"By God, you are..."
As you wish, Medraut. I can never stand against you for long. You catch me at my weakest.
"I'll do it, Medraut. I'll do it. But I will not let you take me."
You can take nothing from me, Medraut, because it is willingly given. All of me is yours, Medraut. I am already yours.
And it was bitterly cold.