The words hit Ritsu as if somebody just punched him in the face. An-chan had called him crying as she explained that the doctors made a mistake last time his mother was in the hospital. Back then they said it was nothing, caused by overeating or stress and that she would be fine if she would get some rest. Turns out the doctors diagnosed her wrong. She had had a small tumor pressing on a part of her brain which had grown and grown until now it was a risk to remove it.
'I have to go see her!' Ritsu said to no one in particular while he grabbed his coat and tried to put on his shoes without falling. (In which he failed.) 'No, ' An-chan sobbed. 'You won't be able to see her. Your dad paid a lot of money for your mother to have the surgery right now. It can take several hours before the tumor is removed. 'If the operation is so dangerous, then why did no one call me!? I.. I could have said that.. that I loved her and that I would be there for her!' An-chan let him rage out before answering. 'It all went so fast. There just wasn't enough time to wait for you to get here.' After a few moments she added; 'I'm sorry, Ricchan. I know you must be tired from work so I'll give you a call when the operation is finished. Please rest in the meanwhile.'
Through all his worry he noticed a sting of jealousy at the back of his mind. It bothered Ritsu that An-chan knew more about what was happening to his mother then her own son but that was ridiculous. An-chan told him she had been having dinner with his parents when his mother collapsed, but it still hurt. Though not nearly as much as his head right now. Actually his whole body seemed hurt from the horrible news. Ritsu fell on the ground on his hands and knees. 'Ricchan, are you okay!?', An-chan yelled, voice filled with worry on the other side of the line. It took a while before Ritsu found his voice back, but he managed to get out a; 'I'm fine. Don't worry about me.' before he pressed the red telephone button and tears filled his eyes.
He had never felt so he really supposed to just wait and sit back hoping for the best outcome possible? He worked his anger out on his phone and threw it at the wall on the other side of the living room. That just ended up getting him more frustrated, because it would be a pain in the ass if his phone had broken and all his contacts were gone. He wanted something to do! Something to get his mind off of what would happen if the surgery didn't go well… Sure Ritsu had thought about how much easier his life would be if his mother didn't boss him around, wanting to arrange his life for him a few times, but that didn't mean he didn't love her. That he didn't appreciate all the things she had done for him.
He wanted to get up and leave for the hospital. Even though he wouldn't be able to see his mother, he could at least comfort his dad and An-chan. He wanted to, but he couldn't. He was just so tired ( He pulled 2 all-nighters in a row in order to finish his work and get Mutou-sensei her manuscript to the printers in time.) that he couldn't move his legs and his arms weren't able to push him from the ground so he just stayed like that. He let his head fall on his knees and closed his eyes.
When Ritsu opened his eyes again, he found himself lying on the floor and realized he must have fallen asleep. Ritsu got up and looked at the clock next to the bookshelf. '3 A.M. I only slept for one hour.' He said to himself while wondering if the operation was over yet. Still half- asleep Ritsu called his father's cellphone, but his dad didn't pick up. He guessed that meant they were still operating her. That was a good thing, right? His dad was staying the night at the hospital so if anything happened, he would call, right? Ritsu was scared and he felt the tears welling up again. He needed to know everything was alright.
He hoped he would be able to quickly grab a taxi because obviously trains were out of the question so late at night. He knew he had to get out of this building as soon as possible and set his mind at ease before he was consumed by the worry and stress, but instead he wasknocking on Takano-san's door.
Masamune let himself fall on his bed. Oh how he hated the end of the cycle. Everybody looked like zombies and everything happened in a blur. He realized he couldn't remember half of what happened the past 3 days (Probably because he had fallen asleep. Even editors-in-chief had their weak moments sometimes. Not often, but still. Never in public though, because if Onodera heard of it he would surely get back at his boss for slapping or stepping on him when Onodera had fallen asleep.) But all of the worry and the lack of sleep didn't matter anymore when the magazine was placed in the shops and costumers bought the new issue of Emerald. He actually liked being the editor-in-chief for a shouju-magazine and they sure as hell couldn't fire him for doing a half-assed job. Masamune turned –with great effort- to lay on his back and wondered if he should first take a shower before collapsing in his bed or if he should just stay where he was and worry about hygiene later. Eventually he ended up falling asleep without making a decision.
Masamune's eyes flew open. Someone was knocking on his door. He dragged himself out of bed while cursing the person who dared to wake him after these exhausting days at work. Maybe he should buy one of those doorhangers that said "Get the hell away from my apartment or I'll kick you in the balls!" for when he was recovering from the end of the cycle.
The idiot at the door knocked even harder. It was so loud (Or maybe it wasn't. He found it hard to tell because he was still half-asleep.) that he hoped Onodera wouldn't wake up from it or he'd get a lecture about how Masamune should keep his guests quiet in the middle of the night because he wasn't the only one who worked till 12.30 that day and had had no sleep at all the nights before. Masamune answered the door and locked eyes with the last person he had expected to see. 'Onodera, what are you doing here? It's …' Masamune looked at his wrist only to notice his watch wasn't there and realized he must have put it on his nightstand when he got home a few hours before. '…late.' He finished then. 'I know and I'm sorry. You were probably sleeping. I just…' Onodera let his voice wander of. Masamune raised a brow and for the first time since he opened the door he really looked at Onodera. He looked like crap! Were those the same clothes he had been wearing for the last 2 days at the office? (Not that he was one to talk. He also didn't change after coming home.) Onodera's eyes were red as if he had been crying for 2 hours straight and he hadn't even bothered to tie his shoes. '…I should go. I'm sorry I bothered you.', Onodera said while stepping away heading for the elevator at the end of their hallway. Masamune grabbed his wrist to stop him. He couldn't let him go with that pained expression on his face. 'Are you okay?' worry colored Masamune's words. For a few moments Onodera just stood there, gaze fixated on a point in the distance and with that avoiding Masamune's stare. 'No… Can I come in?' All the tiredness left Masamune's body at once, directly replaced with fear because the one he love was hurting.
'Thanks.' Onodera said after Masamune handed him the tea. And that was about the only thing he had said to him since he came in. It felt strangely domestic, having Onodera sitting on Masamune's couch, legs pulled up to his chest, blowing away the heat from his tea… only the silence brought back reality. The awkwardness that hung around them was something he still couldn't ignore no matter how hard he tried. On several occasions Onodera had tried to make conversation through small talk, but Masamune kind of ruined all his attempts by declaring his feeling towards him every chance he got. Of course the only reactions he had ever gotten from Onodera by saying these things were expressions of shock or backing away…. Or when he was lucky, he's get an insult and a blushed face showing a glimpse of how much Onodera actually wanted to hear how Masamune felt about him. It wasn't that he didn't want to know about the 10 years of Onodera's life that he hadn't been a part of, it's just that he found the life they could have together now more important.
'My mother is in the hospital. She's undergoing an operation to remove a tumor pressing on her brain.' Onodera said after 10 minutes of silence. Masamune had expected it to be something with his family because the whole thing obviously weighed on him and Onodera cared more about his family than anyone else.'It's very dangerous and she might die in the process.' Onodera's voice broke at "die" and the tears streamed down his face again. Masamune twisted in his seat uncomfortably . he didn't really know how to handle crying people aside from work. There he would just give them a lecture saying they could either get their shit together or just quit if they couldn't handle the job. So all things considered; he was a newbie at comforting people. But… this was different. This was Onodera next to him. Ritsu. He really did look 10 years younger right now and even though he had started to love this new Onodera Ritsu had become, he couldn't help but miss the old one once in a while. The one who was honest with his feelings and confessed his love just by looking at him. Masamune shook his head. No, the person who had been working for him and living next to him for almost 2 years now, was this new and improved version of his lover from high school and Masamune loved Onodera more (If that was even possible) then he had loved Ritsu back then. And now the guy was sitting next to him –way closer then appropriate for a boss and subordinate - crying and talking about things you usually didn't talk about with your boss, but someone you trust. Someone you want to get comforted by. Someone who'll make you feel that everything is going to be okay as long as you're together. Someone you love…and Masamune wanted to be that person for him.
Masamune took the cup of tea from Onodera's hands and put it on the coffee table. 'Oi!' Onodera whined.'what are you..?!' Masamune pulled his face closer and brushed their lips together. 'Don't cry, please.' Masamune said while wiping away the tears dangling on Onodera's cheekbone. He moved his hand from Onodera's chin to his neck and properly kissed him this time. He felt hands grab his t-shirt, pulling Masamune closer.
He was grateful Onodera didn't push him away, but let Masamune embrace him, let his hands caress his back. Onodera was suffering and the only thing he wanted was to lessen that pain. He wanted him to know he wasn't alone in this and he was right to come to him. He wanted to share this pain with him, no matter what.
Onodera let his mouth fall open, clearly inviting Masamune's tong inside to deepen the kiss. Masamune didn't know how long they were already sitting there, just kissing on his couch but he wanted it to last way longer. It had been a while since anything happened between them and to be honest he wanted more than a kiss, but he wouldn't pressure Onodera now. Not while all this was going on. Masamune let their lips touch one more time before pulling away, just far enough so he could still feel Onodera's heavy breathing against his skin. Their bodies were so close he could feel Onodera's racing heartbeat through the light fabric, the only thing that kept their naked bodies from touching and… SHIT! Did he seriously get this turned on just by kissing?! Fuck! It really has been a while. He tried to focus on anything else but his cock because this really wasn't the moment, but he was pulled out of his concentration when Onodera put his arms around Masamune's chest and laid his head on his shoulders, hugging him tightly. And if that wasn't shocking enough he added; 'Can I sleep with you tonight?'
Masamune didn't even try to hide his shock. He had held back when they kissed just now because he honestly thought Onodera wouldn't be up for it with all the shit he had going on and now he had flat-out asked Masamune if he wanted to have sex with him? He wanted to pinch his arm because quite frankly he couldn't believe this was really happening.
It had felt so good. Kissing Takano-san, feeling every inch of their bodies melting together. All the stress and worry had left Ritsu's mind, because all he had been able to think about was how Takano-san's lips had burned on his, how his hands had slipped under his t-shirt and how his fingers had traced invisible patterns on Ritsu's bare back. He needed Takano-san, because he wanted to be comforted by him, because he had made him feel that everything would be okay as long as they were together, because he loved him. He couldn't deny it even though he would rather die than say those words out loud just yet. So he said something else, hoping it would also express how much he wanted Takano-san to hold him right now.
Silence….
Ritsu began to release his grip on Takano-san's shirt. He couldn't help but get scared as to why Takano-san didn't answer. Sure it wasn't your everyday question to just drop on somebody like that but it's not like they had a normal relationship so… He hadn't really known what answer to expect, but he thought Takano-san would at least say SOMETHING. He looked up and saw Takano-san's shocked and confused expression. Ritsu facepalmed himself mentally and cursed his big mouth that always talked before he could think things through. 'I..I didn't mean it like that. I just want to sleep…' God, He sounded like such an idiot. Why had he asked it in the first place?
Takano-san's eyes turned soft and he took Ritsu's hands. (Which he had held in front of him when he was explaining the oh so embarrassing misunderstanding.) 'Sure.' Takano-san said while letting Ritsu's hand rest on his cheek. It made him think of when they had went to meet Saitou- senseiand had been forced to share a bed together. He had done the same thing back then trying to convince Ritsu of his feelings for him. Just like then Takano-san's heart was beating like crazy, leaving Ritsu undone and unable to move. 'You.. don't have to do this.' Ritsu said. 'I know this will hurt you.'Even though he didn't give a reason they both knew why he would get hurt. In the morning Ritsu would regain his calm and get his senses back, because that always happened. Ritsu would let himself get swept away only to remember that that was not what he wanted. Or at least, that's what he kept telling himself. 'Then don't hurt me.' was Takano-san's simple reply.
Masamune led Onodera to his bedroom. Even though Onodera said it was just sleeping and nothing else, he couldn't help but get excited about sharing a bed together with him. In times he hadn't been able to spend a lot of time with Onodera, he got happy over the littlest things. Masamune tried to undress without letting go of Onodera's hand or even without putting space between their bodies. Apparently Onodera found out what he was trying to do because he was backing away, his hand slipping out of Masamune's. 'What are you..?' he started to say and even in the dark Masamune could tell what Onodera was feeling. 'I told you I don't want to…' His voice wavered, revealing his excitement but also his disappointment in Masamune. 'I'm not trying to do anything. I'm just not sleeping in the same clothes I walked around in for the last couple of days.' At that Onodera didn't protest and after a few moments he started taking of his own shirt.
Ow shit! This is so awkward! They hadn't said anything to each other after that. He was just lying there on Takano-san's bed, scared to death even though he was the one who proposed it. Takano-san didn't do anything just like he promised and Ritsu couldn't help but feel a bit sad about that. Takano-san was like a drug that kept him sedated from the pain. Now that the heat from his body was gone it felt like the drug was wearing of. All the pain he hadn't felt up until now came back at once. Fighting back tears, Ritsu turned on his side –his back facing Takano-san – and clenched his fist against the mattress. Takano-san must have been watching him because he put his arm around Ritsu, embracing him softly. 'Do you want me to make you forget?' He asked whispering in Ritsu's ear. He sounded desperate like he was suffering with him. 'Yes..' As soon as his longing was said out loud Ritsu felt lips burning on his. He turned to lay on his back again, slightly lifting his hips, making it easier for Takano-san to pull down his pants. Ritsu let out a moan when he felt Takano-san licking his nipple and palming him though his underwear. And there it was again; the heat radiating from Takano-san's body, making his limbs go numb with pleasure. He really was that kind of drug you just couldn't quit. As soon as you got a taste you were addicted and it only left you wanting more…
'Is she going to be okay?' Ritsu asked her doctor. They were standing in his mother's room in the hospital. His father had called him saying the operation ended and everything went just fine. Takano-san had driven him to the hospital so he wouldn't have had to wait for a train. They hadn't seen his family yet but Ritsu expected them to get here any minute now. 'Yes, the operation was successful. She still needs a lot of rest though.' Ritsu let out his breath and took his mother's hand. 'Thank God..' he muttered. She was sleeping. The way she was lying there all white and still.. it terrified him to think she could have been lying in a coffin if things had went wrong.'Ah Ritsu, you've arrived!' Ritsu turned around and saw his father entering the room. He looked so tired but managed to keep a smile on his face. He embraced his son and shot a glance at Takano-san. 'And who might you be?' Ritsu's dad asked still cheerful. 'I'm Takano Masamune. I work for Marukawa Publishing as the editor-in-chief of Emerald.' Ritsu's eyes narrowed. He was bothered by the way Takano-san was smiling (He looked like he was meeting his future father-in-law or something). He was probably trying to make a good impression. Unfortunately that worked. 'Oh, then you are Ritsu's boss. You seem like a nice guy. Would you like to have dinner with our family tonight? I'm trying to brighten up the spirits after this horrible day.' Ritsu looked at his father in shock. What?! How did things escalate like this? 'Dad, I think Takano-san has better things to do this evening…' 'I'd love to come!' Takano-san answered, paying no attention to Ritsu's protests. Guess there was no helping it. He idly wondered if his father would still think highly of Takano-san if he knew what happened between them in the bedroom last night…