My friends would never understand. I could've explained until I'm blue in the face, but they would still never truly comprehend why I needed Spike. Could never conceive of how dead and utterly numb I felt inside. Going from where I was, back into this body, this life.
Love for my firneds, my sister barely touched my heart. Physical pain was something I felt very little of. As for my spark that made me really feel like Buffy, it seemed to be gone. How could they believe that only Spike made me feel?
How could they've ever understand that when his cold hands filled with so much passion and pain and love and anger and lust touched me that they set a blaze under my skin? How could they see that his heady mouth on mine set my heart on fire with burning, aching life? And how could they not be disgusted that only his weight above me, his arms encircling me made me feel strong? It was as if he was giving me his strength.
But how could they know thta only his words made me feel beautiful. How only his 'I love you' made a thump in my chest? How could they after everything, understand that he's the only one?