Spectrum, a criminal minds fanfic

Title: Spectrum
Author: Clare
Rating: T-Rated

Start date: 7th March, 2016

Finish date: 9th March, 2016

Pairing: Ian Doyle x OC
Other: No Emily Prentiss x Doyle and no North Korean prison!

16th February, 2003

As she walked down the streets of Boston, Maggie knew she should have gone home a long time ago. But with abdominal pain that was causing her discomfort, she knew she had to get it checked out just to be safe.

She was a little cautious as she walked home though, looking around her at every sound that shattered the quiet winter night reached her ears. It made her look paranoid, but she did have a somewhat right to be a little, or rather a lot, wary of her surroundings.

He wasn't just going to let her go now. Not now. And not in the years after either.

As she neared home, she got that prickling 'uh oh, I'm being watched' feeling, and it made her pause and look around warily, squinting into the darkness. It was unsettling. Seeing the neighbourhood where she was hiding out in coming up, she decided to take a quick detour to that amazingly good little coffee shop on the corner and pick up a well earned hot chocolate.

Besides, hot liquids were always a good thing to use as a weapon against a possible attacker, should there be one close by. Humming to herself to break the unnerving silence, Maggie stuck her hands in her coat pockets and looked down, her long dark hair veiling her face from the world.

She knew she had to leave Boston, but she'd been unable to resist the temptation of placing flowers on her mother's grave. She'd done that earlier in the day, and now it was time to leave. After getting home without an incident, she was leaving for good.

21st March, 2002

The smell of cigarette smoke permeated the air, and Maggie hummed to herself softly as she placed clean glasses away, brushing her thick curly hair out of the way with the back of her hand afterwards.

"Interesting name, love." Maggie rolled her eyes and looked at the owner of that voice. "If that was a pickup line, it's by far the worst one in the history of pickup lines." She commented and the man chuckled under his breath before taking a drink of his alcoholic beverage, which smelt awfully like whiskey. Gross. Beer any day.

"Good thing it wasn't a pickup line then, love." Her eyes rolled again. "Magdalena is a bit of mouthful, so I usually shorten it to Maggie. But a Maggie already works here, so Christopher made me have Magdalena on my name tag. There. Not so interesting." She clipped back before ringing a beer into the register and handing the change back to the customer.

"Magdalena sounds more interesting than Maggie, love." Maggie shrugged. "Glad you think so. Can I get back to work now?" The man just nodded with a smirk, and with an exasperated sigh, she did so.

24th March, 2002

Maggie rolled her eyes again. "I don't mix work and my private life. I work in a pub. Get my drift?" Ian, whose name she'd recently learned, shrugged with an amused smirk. "I don't draw those lines, love. After all, you only live once."

Yeah...

"Actually," she stated before putting the bottle of the most used Irish whiskey away and turning back to face him, all too aware he'd been looking at her behind. Creep. "If you die on an operating table and you happen to be fortunate enough to be resuscitated, then technically you live twice."

He seemed a little amused at her answer. "Speaking from past experience?" Maggie shrugged. "Not going to divulge that information." She clipped back before looking at the clock and seeing that her shift was up and she could eventually escape his prying questions. Relief at last.

As Maggie left, Ian caught the attention of Christopher, the manager of the pub and gestured to where Maggie had just slipped out. The bartender chuckled. "Good luck with that one, Ian." He stated with a grin. "She's about as tough as they come."

30th April, 2002

She was so breaking every single rule she'd ever made.

Maggie pulled on the discarded shirt that laid untouched on the hardwood floor, forgoing her bra. Could always put that back on at home. Being careful not to wake the sleeping man in the large bed behind her, she set about looking for her jeans, frowning when she couldn't find them.

The end of the world right there, ladies and gents.

"Looking for these, love?" Maggie went as stiff as a board, her eyes wide as saucers as she heard that Ian was in fact awake, not asleep like she'd so desperately hoped.

She was so quitting her job and going into hiding. Over the top much?

"Yes, thanks." She mumbled as her cheeks reddened and she turned, reaching for her jeans, which as she leant over, he pulled from her reach. Her eyes hardened. "So not cool."

"You would think after last night you'd be a bit more nicer to me." Maggie's cheeks darkened and she squeaked as she found herself under him once more, eyes still as wide as saucers.

"I don't do this often." She admitted sheepishly and Ian smirked. "You mean you've never done this."

She shrugged. "Guilty. You should feel somewhat triumphant with being the first that I've had a one night stand with." She muttered, embarrassed.

"Maybe I do, and maybe I want to celebrate my victory." Her cheeks were now an almost crimson colour, her breathing heavy and she made no move to stop him as he swiftly undid her shirt, pushing it off her shoulders and tossing it back to the floor.

"Then celebrate your victory." Maggie whispered and Ian smirked. "I'm going to, love."

6th July, 2002

He'd swayed her. Sigh. At least she could claim that she put up some sort of fight against his methods of persuasion, no matter how much she loved them.

Guilty as charged.

Tuscany was beautiful in the summer, and she was amazed at why Ian would want her when he could obviously have anyone else with the amount of money he possessed. So here she stood, leaning on the balcony of the bedroom they'd been sharing for the past week, looking out onto the rolling Italian countryside. The sun was already browning her usually pale skin, and to be honest, she'd never felt more alive than she did now.

There was a kid here though -the housekeepers; Louise. He was an adorable thing at just three, with hair so blonde that in the sun, it looked almost golden. He was an adorable little boy.

"Watching the sunset, love?" Maggie hummed with a small smile as she felt him come to stand behind her, the dying sunlight casting shadows beneath them both. "I want to ask you something." He gave a brief squeeze of her waist to tell her to continue, so she did. "Why on earth did you whisk me away to Italy?"

He wanted to tell her that it was because some of his enemies had began to take note of his strange interest in her, but advised himself against it. "Maybe I thought you'd enjoy the Italian culture to our heritage, love."

Maggie chuckled, turning as a small grin on her face. "It is beautiful here, but not like home. And I don't mean Boston. My Mom might be buried there, but it isn't home."

Ian smirked. "Like I said, you only live once. Why not live life to its fullest? No one lives forever, love."

She hummed softly. "You do realise that because you've stolen me away to Italy that I now have no job at the pub." Ian just smirked slyly. "You don't need to work there anymore, love."

Maggie raised a brow. "And why do I not?" She walked into the bedroom and she heard him close the balcony doors before subtly moving her back towards the large bed. She inwardly shuddered at the look he gave her as her head hit the mattress.

"Because I'm going to take care of you in more ways than one."

1st September, 2002

Maggie paled. "You're IRA?" She whispered and Ian looked at her studiously. "Was, love. After the peace accord, I had to look forward."

"You aren't exactly abiding by the law then, I take it?" She asked and he shook his head. "No, love. You don't need to concern yourself with the details." He looked at her firmly. "The less you know, the safer you are and better it'll be."

Maggie hummed. "In other words, the more oblivious that I am, the more I'll be able to ignore what you do." Ian smirked subtly. "Quite."

She looked down. "What if we don't work out? Will you have to kill me or something to keep your secrets, because I really don't want to die." She paled further.

Maggie frowned as he chuckled, although she noted it sounded a tad nervous, something out of the norm for him. He was never nervous, never. She watched him reach into his jacket as they sat in the back of an SUV, and he pulled out a gold ring out on an equally golden chain.

Her heart thudded wildly as he looked at her. "I was going to get you the ring, but you said you're not the marrying type." She remained staring down in shock until he called for her attention. "Look at me," he ordered quietly and she looked at him with glassy eyes, still in shock.

"I don't know what kind of life we're gonna have, but I just want you in mine." Maggie tried to muster a smile, but couldn't even muster a shaky one. She'd just found out that he was in all intents and purposes an international terrorist, and now she was being proposed to. Slow down a minute, please?

Instead, she just moved forward quickly, wrapping her arms around him in a tight embrace, which seemed to work for him, and as the first few tears, albeit happy but slightly conflicted ones, leaked from her eyes, she couldn't help but think where was the strong, independent woman who'd been her just half a year ago was, and how did marrying an international terrorist change her life.

For better, or for worse?

15th November, 2002

Maggie sat beside Declan, the housekeepers son, drawing pictures for him to colour in. Art was something she'd taken in her stride as a child, and after her parents both died, she hadn't really done a lot of it to be honest.

"Can we play hide and seek?" She looked at the little boy with a small smile. "You want to play hide and seek?" He nodded enthusiastically, making her eyes crinkle as she laughed, placing the pencil and pad of paper down on the coffee table, Declan eagerly following.

"I'll count first if you hide then." His eyes brightened with delight as she covered her eyes and began to count, knowing he wasn't exactly hiding as she hadn't heard him run from the room.

"One, two, three, four, five," Maggie began, her hands firmly planted over her eyes, just to be fair. "Six, seven, eight, nine, ten." Uncovering her eyes, she saw him immediately and began chasing him around the coffee table as he scrambled around quickly on his hands and knees until she caught him, all awhile calling that she was gonna get him.

He let out a squeal as she tickled him lightly, and he squirmed as she laughed, saying she was going to eat him. Both were so engrossed in their playing that they didn't notice Ian watching from behind on of the couches, the still warm winter sun streaming in through the windows.

Maggie noticed him first, still laughing all awhile she saw him seemingly amused with what he saw, but it seemed almost, pleased. Declan just stared at him.

"Louise," Ian called and the housekeeper appeared from around the corner within seconds. "Come take your boy please." The woman who was older than her did so, steering him into the direction she'd just came from. Maggie sat down and pulled her art back to her, slightly startled when he spoke.

"You ever think about that?"

Her jade green eyes looked at him, surprised and she smiled bemusedly. "Little hard with what you do, don't you think?" She joked and he hummed, walking over and sitting opposite her on the other couch.

"Maybe you just need the right man to do it with, and a son whose crazy about you." As what he'd just said sank in, her eyes widened and she could feel her heart pounding in her ears. "I thought he was your housekeepers," she whispered, still at a loss.

"Louise raises Declan so no one can use him against me, but he's mine." His eyes met hers. "And he needs a mother."

Her heart was going too fast now, and she felt faint. "I can't be a mother to any child, Ian. I didn't even have one growing up." She whispered softly. He just looked at her, unmoving. "How can I raise a child when my mom didn't even raise me?"

"You'd learn." Maggie chewed on the inside of her cheek. "I don't know if I can. How can I raise a kid to do what you do when I don't even know that when I wake up next to you if it'll be the last time I'm with you? I couldn't do that."

"You know what I am, Maggie." He stated with hard blue eyes and she swallowed, nodding. "I know I do, and I don't have any quarrels with it because I've chosen not to immerse myself in it, and there's so many things I'd do to make you happy."

Tears stung at her eyes. She knew that the fairytale she'd been living would have to come to an end sooner or later, and it was just sooner rather than later. "I need to think about it, please." She mumbled and seeming to understand, Ian nodded, getting up also as she stood. Maggie shook her head.

"I need to think in private, please." He just nodded.

16th November, 2002

Maggie laid on her side in bed, eyes wide open and staring out of the window, deep in thought. Ian was beside her, his body wrapped around hers as he slept, she not having gotten a single minute of it all night.

She did love Declan, but she couldn't raise him in knowing that he might end up being hurt as a result of what he would eventually come to do as a profession, and she worried enough for his father, let alone someone else.

Maggie knew that she loved Ian, and she loved Declan, but one thing was bugging her. Where was Declan's mother? Surely he had one, and after hearing Ian explain that Louise was just raising him, she doubted that she was his biological mother.

"You should get some sleep, love." Came a sleepy mumble from behind her, and Maggie remained silent, gathering courage until she felt she had enough. "Where is Declan's mom, Ian?"

That seemed to wake him fully now, and when she twisted around, she wasn't at all surprised to see him regarding her warily. "You've spent all night awake wondering about that?"

Maggie hummed, dropping her forehead into the patch of pillow under his chin so that her head was tucked underneath it. "I want to know."

He shrugged. "She tried to kill him by taking pills, so I stopped her and kept him from her. She's not exactly the mothering type, love. Chloe is involved in the same world as me."

Maggie blinked. "Well, she doesn't sound very likeable then." She muttered. "Louise helped deliver Declan, and to keep Chloe away, she was paid a healthy amount of money. That's all she ever cares about, love; money." He continued and she nodded slowly, stifling a yawn with the back of her hand.

"Get some sleep, Maggie. You've kept me awake all night too, you know." He muttered and she allowed herself a small smile, closing her eyes and relaxing into his hold comfortably.

25th December, 2002

Maggiecouldn't stop the smile from appearing on her face at the excitement that shone in Declan's cerulean blue eyes, exact replicas of Ian's, as he pulled her over into the huge lounge, and she was a little surprised to see presents under the tree. Who would have thought that an international terrorist would buy Christmas gifts for a kid, a biological one or not?

Declan had burst into the room, all but dragging her from bed while the bastard who was his father had just smirked at the pleading look that she gave him.

Hm. Like father like son.

She was even more surprised when he held out a rather well wrapped package out to her. "For me?"

He nodded eagerly, thrusting it into her hands before tearing into some of his own. She sat on the couch as Ian finally decided to come into the room, pressing a mug of something hot into her hand that Louise had no doubt prepared for them both. Ian in a kitchen? Uh, no.

She coughed though as she took a drink, realising he'd put whiskey into her hot beverage. He just smirked as she glowered at him, and then she frowned. "Why aren't you opening any presents?"

"Well, because I'm quite sure I had mine last night, love." Her cheeks darkened and he just smirked wider as he continued speaking. "And there's something over there that I'm sure I'll get some satisfaction out of seeing you wear tonight."

Her eyes rolled as she set about unwrapping her gift that she held now. Still a jerk.

5th January, 2003

Maggie wiped her mouth before putting the toilet seat down and sitting on it while it flushed. Her period was late, and she knew with a growing dread what that meant when coupled with excessive vomiting.

She was so not ready for a baby.

Sure, she could handle Declan because he could walk and talk and didn't require diaper changes, but not a newborn baby. She wasn't ready for that, and about a week after he'd told her of how it had gone down with Chloe, he'd divulged that last little nugget of information about how he'd chained her to a fricking bed.

She was so not being chained to a bed.

And then she knew that he would do to this baby what he was going to do to his three year old son. Yeah, that so wasn't happening. She was not letting her baby become another soldier that he trained in whatever the hell he did. That just so wasn't happening.

Tears pooled in her eyes as possible scenarios ran through her head. She could run, but she loved both him and Declan. That just wasn't fair to the little boy either.

And even though it was wrong, she could get an abortion. It made her disgusted with herself though, that she, little innocent but engaged to an international terrorist Magdalena 'Maggie' O'Reilly could kill an unborn baby. It made her head hurt just thinking about it.

"You alright, love?" She looked up, startled, not having heard Ian approach. Putting on a brave face, Maggie nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just a bit hot, that's all." She brushed it off, trying desperately not to faint as she stood, the room spinning around her.

He nodded slowly, although the look in his eyes told her that he didn't believe her. Maggie just moved past him into the bedroom before pressing a hand to her forehead and then collapsing to the floor, Ian catching her just in time before she could hit her head off of it.

She came to a few minutes later, and as he asked her what the hell was wrong with her, she just shook her head. "I'm just feeling dizzy, that's all. I'll be fine after some sleep. Haven't been getting a lot lately." She added on in a teasing voice and he hummed. She knew he was still suspicious, and that she couldn't hide it forever.

7th January, 2003

This was her chance. He'd told her that he wouldn't be back until tomorrow morning, off doing something she wanted to know nothing about. She didn't know where he was, only that he was off doing 'business.'

Tears dripped down her face as she looked at the positive pregnancy test, confirming her worst fears. Hastily, she tossed it back into its box, stuffing the said box to the bottom of the mesh bathroom trashcan. Louise was supposed to take the trash out tonight, so it didn't matter much to her, or worry her for that matter.

So she set about writing her note. It seemed like a Dear John letter, but she wanted to make it not be like that, so she just wrote that she needed some time to think over some things, but she'd be back after doing so, and not to worry.

And not once did she mention the pregnancy test.

8th January, 2003

She was a little surprised when her phone buzzed angrily at four in the morning, but it was soon replaced with anxiousness as she saw the number and caller ID. Swallowing anxiously, she opened her phone. "Hello?" She breathed quietly.

"Planning to abort my baby without my knowledge, love?" Maggie felt herself go ridged. How did he even know she was pregnant?! As if sensing her unspoken question, he continued. "You left that box in plain sight, love. So answer me. Are you planning to abort my baby or do you just need time as I believe you worded it?"

She remained quiet, too terrified to speak. He sounded beyond furious, like he wanted to kill her or something. He probably wanted to. So again, Ian continued to talk, his voice betraying just how mad he was. "You know what happened with Chloe, so what makes you think you're gonna be any different? I suggest you-" Maggie quickly cut off the call before scrambling out of bed and making quickly for the small bag she'd packed, pulling out a change of clothes.

Little did she know, ending that phone call was one of the worst things she could have done.

15th January, 2003

Maggie felt awful. Her head hurt, her face hurt and her back felt as though someone was standing on it. Her throat felt like sandpaper after vomiting more times than she could count. She felt horrible.

There was no more phone calls, or at least none that she answered. She knew that he was furious beyond belief with her, even though she'd decided against abortion. She couldn't do that. She wasn't ready for a baby of her own, but like Ian had once told her, she'd learn.

The phone started ringing again, and Maggie rolled over, putting a pillow over her face to muffle the irritating sound. She knew who it was, and she just wasn't in the mood to argue with him.

22nd January, 2003

Maggie signed for her groceries with a tight smile before closing her apartment door and grabbed the plastic bags, making her way to the kitchen and beginning to put them into their respective places.

She was a little uncomfortable. Her head had been hurting all week, not going away once, and she didn't know what painkillers to take while you were pregnant. So she was suffering.

There was the smallest patch of raised skin on her abdomen, the tiniest patch ever. But it made tears swell up in her eyes, reminding her of what she'd lost and what she'd be gaining. Somehow, that didn't make it any easier.

After putting her groceries away, Maggie took a gamble and walked over to the window, staring at the snow that was coming down. It was a beautiful sight. Snow was pure, just like the baby she carried. Tears welled up in her eyes again, which she wiped away hastily with the back of her hand. Must be strong.

5th February, 2003

Maggie rolled the car window down, feeling too hot. It was freezing outside, yet she felt hot? Strange beyond strange. She sighed, resting her head on her hand as she drove with just one. It was an rental car, and they had told her just to drop it off at the site in the place she was heading; Boston.

It was dangerous heading back to Boston, considering he knew it as well as she did, maybe even better considering he was six years her senior. Having a kid at twenty seven was not how she had envisioned having one, although twenty seven seemed alright as opposed to being twenty one. Yeah, that just wasn't happening.

Well, twenty seven this month.

Something caught her attention in one of her side mirrors, and she frowned upon seeing a dark coloured vehicle growing closer and closer. Damn. If that was him, she was screwed. End of story.

Maggie rolled her window back up, carefully inching the speed up until she was at ninety miles per hour. Speeding was not her forte, but she was managing. Time to move again after Boston...

15th February, 2003

Maggie's face screwed up at the short, sharp pains that were stabbing at her sides. It wasn't too bad, but it wasn't pleasant either. She got off the bus in front of the hospital, having just came from placing flowers on her mother's grave in the cemetery, and with no car, she'd had to take the bus. Ugh.

She was seen to fairly quickly after informing them that she was pregnant, and was made to dress into a hospital gown, at which point she'd tied her hair back also. The pain was a smarting pain, but it wasn't that worrying.

Probably an explanation.

And there was. It was just the muscles around her womb contracting and stretching to support it and the baby, and then there was the scan. And she was petrified now.

There was two, instead of just one little baby. But no, there had to be two. She felt faint, and the doctor, after completing the ultrasound and giving her a photo, left her to change and gather herself.

Much easier said than done. But ten minutes later, she walked out of the hospital and into the cold night air. She hadn't realised just how long she'd been in there. With shaky hands, Maggie pulled out the ultrasound photograph and stared at the two little blips on the photograph. At least they weren't identical, was what the doctor had joked before leaving her.

Oh yeah, because having two babies that were identical would have been much worse than learning that instead of one, you now had to two babies to take care of in seven months considering she'd worked out that she'd be around eight to nine weeks now. What a jerk.

So she just placed it back in her pocket and began walking home.

He wasn't just going to let her go now. Not now. And not in the years after either.

As she walked down the street with her hot chocolate, she noticed a dark van, one that looked eerily similar to the vehicle she'd noticed tailing her as she came into Boston, sitting motionless outside of the house she'd rented for a month. Finishing her drink and tossing it in the garbage can, Maggie quickly walked up to the front door and after entering the house, she quickly turned all of the locks, all four of them. That should hold, hopefully.

She ran upstairs, and as soon as she left the stairs, she heard the front door burst open and the screeching of the locks as they broke. Her breath caught in her throat and she swallowed nervously as she heard what sounded like four or five individuals come in, two heading straight for the stairs.

That was all she needed. Maggie ran down the landing, hearing someone race after her. She managed to get into one of the three bedrooms, but didn't lock the door quick enough before she was knocked against the wall, fire ripping through her forehead as she felt a small trickle of blood drip down her face.

She was grabbed and taken back downstairs, her vision blurred as pain echoed around her head each time she blinked. A grimace came on her face as she felt the cold air against her skin, and then she was inside that familiar dark coloured van with what was happening starting to dawn on her. Hell no.

Her foot came up and she kicked out, her booted foot connecting with someone's face; she heard them swear profusely before ripping off their white face mask, and then she was being restrained, both by her legs and arms as someone else knelt beside her while another drove as she could hear tires screeching.

Maggie felt a sharp pain in her arm and as she began to feel strangely sleepy, her head rolling to the side, she realised she was drugged with something before the one holding her shoulders down released her, pulling off their mask with an all too familiar face behind it, a wicked smirk adorning it.

"Hello love," and before Maggie could resist any further, darkness swallowed her whole.

20th February, 2003

She watched the little boy that she'd come to love and still loved stare at the ultrasound scan photograph with rapt fascination. He was her only form of comfort and the only other person that she was able to see other than his father, who stood watching in the corner of the room, his blue eyes like ice.

"Two babies?" Maggie nodded, thankful that the chains that had been on her wrist for the past three days had been temporarily removed while Declan saw her. "Two babies." She confirmed and he scrambled up beside her, making tears pool in her eyes as he hugged her tight, and then he moved his head to her growing stomach, which even at only around nine to ten weeks, had a definite rounding shape.

"I feel them!" She smiled slightly. She knew they wouldn't be moving yet for awhile, but she didn't have the heart to tell him otherwise. His blue eyes looked up at her. "You gonna go again?"

Her tears trickled free then and he frowned, eyes silently asking her why she was sad. Maggie hummed, reaching over him for the art book he'd brought in to ask her to sketch some more pictures in for him. "So, you wanted a dog, right?" She said, hastily changing the subject.

25th February, 2003

Maggie felt lonely, and it was driving her insane. The weak winter sun streamed in through the windows and she stared at it longingly.

"I don't think so, love." Maggie didn't bother looking away, still staring out to the Tuscan countryside. It hurt her to know that freedom was so close but so far, and she felt him sit beside her before he gripped her chin, turning her head back so she was looking at him with nowhere else to turn to. "Just think, Maggie. If you hadn't of been so stupid and hadn't of ran off with my babies, then you could be out there with Declan, teaching him how to ride that bike he recently got."

Maggie looked at him tearfully. "What do you want from me, Ian? I wasn't going to get an abortion, and I knew you'd be volatile and furious with me if I came back! I'm twenty six! I'm not ready to become a mother, much less to two infants." She whimpered out.

"You could have told me before you ran off like a coward." He ground out with icy blue eyes and she nodded. "I know I should of, and I'm sorry." Maggie whispered.

He chuckled bitterly. "A bit late for apologies, love."

Her eyes filled with tears and she looked at him, her eyes showing just how sorry she was. "What are you going to do to me after I give birth?"

That seemed to amuse him. "Worrying about your fate already?" He smirked. "Liam said that I should kill you as soon as you deliver them."

Maggie's blood ran cold and she cheated on her bottom lip. "What are you going to do then?" She whispered, unable to voice anything louder.

He answered without hesitation. "I agree with Liam, love, but that doesn't explain how for the last month I've dreamt of a little girl with dark hair. But then again, there isn't just one, is there? You might never see them, Maggie." He seemed to take delight in the horror that filled her eyes and the terror that was shown on her face. "Deal with that."

13th March, 2003

Maggie twisted the bracelet that Declan had given her two weeks ago for her birthday around her wrist, looking at baby catalogues and picking out some stuff, despite the fact Ian regularly told her that she'd more than likely never see them both turn a week old.

She still wore the ring he'd given her regardless though, hoping that it'd show him that she still loved him in spite of everything that had happened. Maggie had done as he'd told her to do.

She'd made her peace with it. Well, she was still a little hopeful, but Maggie wasn't about to get her hopes up. No point or sense in that.

2nd April, 2003

Maggie wasn't sure how she'd ended up in the bed, and a quick look to her left told her that she wasn't alone. Ian laid fast asleep beside her, although she knew he had the tendency to be awake and alert in minutes.

She'd remembered being unchained so she could go and vomit up what she'd eaten for dinner, which wasn't unusual, and then she remembered the unbearable dizziness that had overcame her before she'd just laid down in the cool tiled floor until it had passed. And then … nothing. She looked at Ian again. Must have put her in bed, but he'd left her unchained, thankfully.

Maggie laid back down, grimacing at how uncomfortable she felt, even at around sixteen weeks. God help her at double that.

A strange sensation filled her, and she frowned, sitting back up and waiting for that strange feeling inside of her to start up again. It did again, and then again. When she shifted, she saw her company stir and look at her irritably, she having woke him up.

"Go back to sleep, Maggie." She looked at him, still frowning. "Why on earth does it feel like my stomach is spasming?" She queried and he sat up then, looking at her. "Where?"

She motioned to her left side and he grabbed her hand, none too gently either, and placed it there. She attempted to move her hand away, but he held it there and she shook her head. "I don't need to know." She whispered and he raised a brow. "Trying not to form a bond, love?"

Maggie swallowed nervously before the feeling started up again and tears filled her eyes. "What's the point?" Tears trickled down her cheeks. "It's not like I'll ever see them reach one, will I?"

She managed to pull her hand free and she shook her head, brown curls bouncing around her head. "I wont give you the satisfaction of getting my hopes up when I know you'll kill me as soon as I deliver them. I'd rather put a bullet in my own head before I left that happen."

Maggie rolled over so that her back was to him, hot tears coursing down her face. Bastard.

16th April, 2003

Declan beamed at her after he felt movement beneath his hand. "I felt it!" Maggie smiled slightly as he cuddled into her, his blonde hair soft beneath her hand as she ran her hand through it gently.

She drifted off to sleep, the little boy not far behind as he snuggled into her as much as he could, both unaware of the cerulean blue eyes watching them from the bedroom doorway.

5th May, 2003

Maggie was finally allowed out of her chains for one day, and she knew that it was Declan's birthday. The blonde haired little boy was four, which he'd told her proudly as he very carefully pounced on her, waking her up excitedly.

She sat beside him as he opened his presents, some labeled as being from Louise, who watched almost fondly as he tore into them. Maggie smiled before taking a drink of the herbal tea that Louise had sneaked her with a small smile, a secret, small smile. It was delicious too.

She felt like a beached whale, and looked huge. She was around the fifth of almost six month; she didn't keep track of it. All she knew was that these babies would be very energetic ones as they grew older.

Maggie paused, the thought making a lump rise in her throat. She pushed it back down quickly before smiling slightly as Declan hugged her and her belly evidently after unwrapping the framed drawing she'd had framed for him.

Something for him to remember her by...

The day progressed quickly and Maggie found herself staring at the bed blankly, just waiting to be chained to it again and lose her freedom once more.

"Louise says you're good for Declan." Maggie hummed, the noise sounding strangled in her throat. "And? It doesn't matter, does it? I'll be just another forgotten memory of his. Get on with shackling me, Ian. I'm not in the mood for you to mock me." She grumbled.

"You sound awfully moody, love." He came to a stop behind her and Maggie hummed again, eyes downcast. "Why wouldn't I?" She clipped back. "I'm chained to a bed regardless of the fact that I told you that I won't harm them, that I won't run. I had a panic attack and ran, thinking about what to do. I wear a ring that I don't even know if you want me to still wear, and I'm tired of everything, Ian." She whispered softly.

She heard the clink of the chains but they weren't fastened around her wrist like usual, making her frown and turn around, seeing them in his hands before he dropped them to the floor and walked forward, seizing her in his hands and moving his mouth to hers.

And not once did he look at her, which hurt more than the fact of dying.

16th July, 2003

He used her for sex regularly, and not once did he bother to look her in the eyes. It made her feel like a hooker, like he was just using her for sex, which he basically was.

Maggie looked at the nursery that had been assembled by Louise blankly. It was beautiful, and it was something she'd never see in a months time.

She wandered back on to the bedroom she'd rarely left, shutting the door behind her. She knew that he'd hired a rather discreet OB-GYN to come and check both babies once they were born, and he'd been paid an awful lot of money to keep his mouth shut too. Corrupt doctor much?

She'd never contemplated the end, but as it drew closer, she found herself wondering. She'd never been religious, not since both her parents were killed. But now faced with the inevitable, she knew she had to think it through, and she sure didn't want to either.

18th August, 2003

Maggie couldn't bring herself to look at the plastic hospital cradle that held both of the babies she'd just spent seven hours pushing out. A thin sheen of sweat covered her skin, and she just stared out of the window, staring at the moon high in the sky. It would be the last time she'd see such a sight.

And it had never looked more beautiful.

She'd been told that they were both boys. More little warriors for Ian to 'train'. The thought made her stomach churn. But regardless of how much one was crying out to be held, she just couldn't bring herself to do it.

Someone cleared their throat and Maggie looked up to see Ian in the doorway. "Congratulations," she said emotionlessly, preparing herself for what was coming as she saw the firearm tucked into the back of his trousers. "You have two more sons."

"I heard. Healthy too." She just shrugged, resuming her stare out of the window. She heard him pick up the whimpering infant, and the mere sound of the baby ceasing to sob made her want to do so instead.

"Are you sad you didn't get a daughter like you dreamt of?" Maggie murmured and she heard him put the now silent infant back into the cradle. "Not really. I can always wait to see if the next one is a girl, love."

It took a moment, but when what he'd said finally sank in, Maggie looked at him tearfully. "What? You aren't going to kill me?"

"Seems you've earned yourself a reprieve, love."

Maggie smiled unsteadily before shakily reaching out, taking a chance. And to her delight and relief, he took it before pulling her forward and into a long, connective kiss that she'd waited for. It had been months since he'd looked at her like he used to, and she just broke down, sobbing uncontrollably as the overwhelming hormones still raced through her system. Her tears stained his shirt as she buried her head in his neck, releasing out her bottled emotions.

He just pressed a kiss to her forehead and held on with a grip so tight that it would rival those very chains that's she'd wore for the last seven months.