Disclaimer: I do not own xxxHOLIC.
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A/N: Just something that struck me while I was reading the Tsubasa manga.
DO NOT READ IF YOU DO NOT LIKE.
Pain- (n) (v)
unpleasant physical sensation: the acutely unpleasant physical discomfort experienced by somebody who is violently struck, injured, or ill
emotional distress: severe emotional or mental distress
emotion or feeling: varying from person to person
"Even if she knows, she can't tell. Even if she wants to help, she cannot. There's nothing as painful as this, is there?"
-Infinity Arc, Heir of the Vision Mafia Family
It truly was painful.
It still is.
She is never to help, never to move on her own accord, never in her own wishes. There should always be intervention for her to act, for her to feel again.
She is dead, dead and alive at the same time, a caged being wrapped in flimsy wishes and passionate desires the people tend to pursue, a task she wholly tries her best to fulfill.
She is a prisoner of fate.
For what is there for her, if there was no fate? If everything was a coincidence from the start?
Perhaps she would be a dead shell.
She would have never been Ichihara Yuuko.
She would have never been the great Witch of the Dimensions.
Yet, with her tremendous powers, she could not stop the terrible things that would come in the future, could never warn those in danger to step back into safety, could not stop the alive from being dead and could not have the dead be alive.
She could lose everything she had, everything she could have gained, without the allowed intervention.
And it is painful to bear with loss as one continues on without the others for support.
But she is no more saddened by loss, no more shadowed by misery..
For she had been carrying the burden of guilt for as long as she could remember.
She smiled wryly.
I am a wish granter…
And yet…
I could not grant my own wishes.
Because I just could not do so.
Because the price for my wish is too great.
There is no equal compensation, no balanced price…
For my freedom.
And everything that I have gathered close to me is my pain.
The bell in the front door jingled. She smiled, and stood up.
Ah. A customer.
She left the room.
Just as we are connected by fateful crossroads in life, everything is entwined.
And, because of that….
My pain…
Is also my joy.
A/N: Just my take on the enigmatic Yuuko Ichihara. She is my fave character in Tsubasa and xxxHOLIC, aside from Kurogane and Fai.
Please do read and review!