A Good Friend

Written for the WA challenge for Alternate Format Writing.

This is my first time trying out this format. Very interesting challenge indeed. Hope you like. Clara Shepard/Joker pairing featured.

Big thank you to SpaceCowboy for beta-ing.

xXx

E-mail correspondence between Joker and Garrus post-war.

Subject: How're you holding up?

How're you holding up? I know this can't be easy for you. EDI, and now Shepard. You were close with them in the Normandy after all.

Yes, I know about you and Shepard. You couldn't think that the both of you could hide all that from me, could you? Not that Clara was all that subtle about it, though…

Spirits, I'm not good at this. But that's beside the point. We should have a drink some time. Don't feel bad. We knew what we were going into when we rode to Earth. EDI did too. And we fulfilled the mission; we stopped those Reaper bastards from destroying us.

Furthermore, Shepard's alive, and we both know how strong she is. She'll pull through this. No doubt about it.

So, back to the question... how're you holding up? (and Shepard too?)

-Garrus

Subject: Re: How're you holding up?

Turians sending letters of sympathy. I thought I'd seen it all!

We knew we'd never be able to hide from you anyway! Personally, I think Clara's the only one who still thinks it's a secret.

Honestly, I don't know. Tali assured me she'd be able to reboot EDI somehow; said EDI downloaded a backup of her programming into her omni-tool, but well… Then again, Cerberus did manage to resurrect Shepard with everything intact, her personality, sexiness and all (even the red hair), but I don't know.

Yes, Garrus, stop laughing; Joker Moreau actually doesn't know.

I mean, the galaxy is pretty much in pieces. We did stop them, but they did kind of take a big piece of us in the process… First off, the Geth are fucked. It's like they just stopped. Same with EDI. I'm hearing Admiral Hackett is still trying to stabilize Earth, and Liara told me the Asari are taking a bit of heat from all the other races for taking so long to join the war effort. Though I'm sure their hotness will probably take the heat away from them eventually. Blue skin and head tentacles and embrace eternity and all that. Seriously though, they can fuck right off. If they weren't such cowards, we could have fired the Crucible earlier and probably wouldn't have taken so many losses.

I guess it all depends on Clara again. She's strong, yeah. But her condition's been critical for a week now. She's been in and out of death a few times. She's alive, I guess. It's still touch and go.

She needs to live. She's a hero. She's our hero. Who else would've united the galaxy against the Reapers? Who else would have saved us? Besides, I love her so damned much. I can't lose her.

God, I lost everyone in this war, Garrus. EDI, my sister, my mum… If she dies, well… at least my baby's still standing. You know, the Normandy.

At least I could say I saved her?

PS. I think I'll take you up on your offer for drinks. I know a few bars that are still open.

PPS. I know it's weird that I'm sending you all these... but you always listened to Clara when she was at her lowest. So I thought you'd probably understand the most.

-Joker

Subject: Drinks and Shepard

I checked out a few of the bars you suggested in the follow-up. They all taste like varren piss.

We're not all that bad, Joker. At any rate, Tali's a smart girl. She'll pull this off. Besides, a few Geth were successfully rebooted in Rannoch, if that helps any. Though to be fair, they weren't built with Reaper tech...

Anyway, we just have to have faith in Shepard. She'll pull through.

She swore to us she'd come back alive, and as far as I know she has always kept her word.

I understand it's bad, but well, she did die once, and she still came back. She'll pull through this. It would be disrespectful to her to doubt her strength, after all she's done for us.

I mean, look at what she did. She got the Turians and Krogans fighting together! Geth and Quarians! Both species that hated each other more than us and the Reapers. She's done the impossible quite a few times. To borrow a human analogy, Clara's pissed all over that word at this point.

As for the galaxy… well, I think we'll be alright. Too many people have died for anyone to try anything now. There's not much left to fight over anyway.

2030 next Monday, at Raiders' Cosmos? I kind of like the Dextro Whiskey they sell there.

PS. I know you've always loved me, Joker.

-Garrus

Subject: Yeah, I know

I'm going to answer nearly every statement in that e-mail you sent me with this: Yeah, I know.

Actually, could you postpone those drinks for a bit? Admiral Hackett put me on a mission to delivering some eezo to the Mass Relay Engineers on that day. Honestly, I don't know why he bothers. The Mass Relay Keepers do all the work anyway. Not to mention they're already functional. "Diagnostic check" my ass. They probably want to research it or something.

Plus, I'd really like Clara to join us. She promised us drinks, remember? Obviously, she's not really in the best shape right now (she almost died again yesterday night), but you could hold out until she recovers a little, right?

-Joker

Subject: Ok

Ok, noted. I'm nothing if not patient.

Stay strong. Tali sends her love too, by the way. Whatever that means. It's probably some human tic that Shepard taught her. Though she was drunk when she said that, so take that with a grain of salt (Am I using this right?).

Say hello to Shepard for me when she wakes up.

-Garrus

Subject: !

Fhe wjke ip she wlke up

-Joker

Subject: ?

Joker..? Did something happen?

Or is this some sort of some human encryption I'm not privy to yet?

-Garrus

Subject: Sorry

Sorry about that.

She woke up.

-Joker

Subject: Truly?

I admit, I did have my doubts.

Spirits, she's gone and done it again, hasn't she? Chakwas herself told me how bad her injuries were. Only Shepard could have survived all that. Only her.

Oh, spirits, what can I say now? She's bloody done it again.

I'm happy for you, Joker.

-Garrus

Subject: Joker? Is this line working?

Joker? I haven't gotten an e-mail from you for weeks now. How's Shepard? How's everything?

Are drinks still on?

-Garrus

Subject: I have so much to tell you

Well, this was intended to be a surprise... so sorry for the wait, mate!

Oh, and this is Shepard, by the way. I'm back.

Hello to you too, Garrus. Joker's behind me, and he's barely coherent at this point. He's adorable when he's like this. I knew I could never hide anything from you, my old friend. I'm glad you're alive too. As for EDI, well… more on that later.

I've so much to tell you, and everyone else. So how's everybody doing, oh General Vakarian? Yes, I expect to hear more about your rise in command. And everyone else. Expect a really long essay to read tomorrow. It'd distract you from all the paperwork (I know how you hate that!)!

PS. Drinks are still on, mate. It'd need to be a bit later though, Doc said I need to rest for a few months. (Not that I need it, trust me). Like I said, I have so much to tell you. -Clara

-Joker

Subject: Spirits above

I've been wondering for the longest time, Shepard, why do you put "mate" after your sentences? Joker wouldn't like it. Besides, no other human I know does it.

Anyway, Spirits above, Clara. I'm glad you're alive. I know everyone is, too. Liara couldn't stop sending message after message to me asking about your well-being. She gave me such a headache, I had to write a program just to block her extranet address during work hours. She's co-ordinating the Asari recovery effort in Thessia. I guess she feels she's indebted to them… we both know that's not true. As for Wrex, well, he just had ten babies.

That sums it up, I think. I haven't really heard from Kaidan and Vega, other than they're working on a top-secret mission under Admiral Hackett. I think you could ask the Admiral, actually. You're a hero of the galaxy, after all. You could use that to your advantage.

Though I doubt it's anything too major. The galaxy is too messed up for any nonsensical war mongering to take place.

As it turns out, I have a rather sizeable salary as General. I think I could afford something respectable for us this time. No more of that cheap Citadel swill.

As for how I got that position, well, being on the crew of the Normandy looks good on the resume. The token task force I set up apparently saved a lot of lives as well. I was offered the job straight after the war ended, and I took it. I'm probably going to retire after the restoration on Palaven, though.

I expect the vids' royalties to last me a lifetime. That, and I'm tired of war and everything surrounding it. I think we all are.

At any rate, I'm glad you're alive, Shepard.

And again, I'm happy for you, Joker. Spirits willing, the both of you will have a good, long life. We all deserve that, I think.

-Garrus

Subject: Drinks

Clara's pretty proud of you! Anyway, she's pretty spry for a patient who was on the verge of death two weeks ago. She's crazy. I'd love to tell you all about it. The girl is basically the nurses' worst nightmare right now.

She wants out, basically. Chakwas has pretty much threatened to tell her secret to Hackett if she acts up again. The one where she was piss-drunk after the Collector mission and… anyway, you know. You were there. (She's looking over my shoulder)

Oh, she said she'll talk about everything over drinks.

Anyway… thank you, Garrus.

Thank you for everything. You're a good friend. As if I don't know that already… but I just wanted to say that. Even if you still have that great, big turian stick up your ass.

We've lost people, but you reminded me that we haven't actually lost everyone. So thanks.

PS. Don't tell anyone else I said that.

PPS. Not even Tali.

PPPS. Shepard said, drinks at Raider's Cosmos in three months, at her birthday?

-Joker

Subject: Re:Drinks

I'll be there.

And you're welcome, by the way.

-Garrus

End