A/N: plz crit!!
Chapter One; My Poor Dictionary
Loveli. A noo skool. I fin dat a kool boi is looking mi. Oh, ya, I'm a amprie. I can't be wiv a hoomin. But he didn see lyke a hoomin. And they the Swooney Toad song played. Dat 1 wher he seyz dat londin sux. I sed to da boi, "Wat ur nam? Mi nam iz Kazumi Light!" (a/n; That means beautiful light. Oh yes. It is a play on Bella's name!)
He sed, "Mi nam iz Edword. I m smexi vampire, I'll giv u an organism."
I sed, "I m also a snexi vampire, I'll gift u organism."
The englih teechur sed, "No, u r speaking rong!"
And I'm lyke, "I speek jus fyne!"
And som Bella gurl walkd ovur 2 Edword. And I'm lyke, "Hez mi man nao! No betches kan tuch him!" And hez lyke, "I'm hur man, and u sux. Cuz u r not smexi vampire, and won't gift me organism."
"But u kan gift me smexi organism!"
"Ur seying it rong," I sed.
"Well u kan!"
"Wat, mi?! U lyk MI?! OMFG u homo!" I flipped mi pritty blondie hair n blinkd mi blu eyez. "I m pritty, so it kant b he,pd.. Wat ur nam?"
"Mi nam is Bela. Isabela Suan." Bela bowwed. (a/n; Yes, I spelled it wrong. But really, you had to expect that. I'm doing a variation of Twila.)
And then a raring was herd. "I AM STAN!!!" He wuz big n fat n ugly. "THE POWR OV SHINI COMPELS U!" I scremed. Den mi n Edword were innercursing, cuz he red mi mind n new I wanted 2. Aftur innercursing, we found that seyeng bad wyrdz in r hedz wuz boring. Wi culd sey dem out loud n it be funner.