Their assigned rooms are right opposite to each other, with fading black letters stamped on the doors - ANDOR and ERSO. This arrangement has been very distracting for Cassian. At night, when he returns to his room after meetings or missions, he finds himself lingering at his door far longer than usual, throwing glances at the one opposite, his eyes roaming over the letters there. E-R-S-O. He should look away, he really should, but he never does.
Tonight, it is not so different. The only difference - and he has to admit that it is a big one - is that he has Erso herself walking right beside him. They had been drinking with the team and both their steps are a little wonky, their heads are spinning a bit, and her shoulder keeps bumping into his as they stroll beside each other.
The touch, however small, burns.
He steals a glance in her direction. Her eyes are a little glossed over, but there is an awkward, embarrassed smile playing on her lips. When they reach their rooms, instead of going straight into her own, she leans against her door, her right foot hooked around her left ankle in a lazy gesture.
"So this is it," she says. He thinks there's a playful edge to her sentence, but he can't be sure.
He leans against his own door. "I suppose it is."
"Goodnight, captain."
The way the word 'captain' rolls off her tongue makes his heart quicken in a strange, impossible way. He shoves his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket.
"Goodnight, Jyn."
They stare at each other for a few seconds longer. Somehow, neither of them move. Then, she fidgets; she lifts her right hand to tuck a strand of loose hair behind her ear. His mind, although clouded by his intoxicated state, registers the gesture immediately.
"How much did you drink?" he asks.
"Too much. And you?"
"Not enough."
She cracks another smile. She rarely smiles, she thinks, but somehow, since meeting him, smiling has become almost second nature. And now, seeing him loitering at his door, his hair a little mussed and his body swaying a little from the drinks…the sight is endearing.
"I should..go in." She gestures lamely at her own door. "We shouldn't be caught just standing…"
"No, we shouldn't," he agrees, but somehow, he is moving closer, much closer.
"People will talk."
She is moving closer too. Much closer.
"And I don't want to ruin anything we got going here," he whispers. He is even closer and she can see the way his eyelashes curl up and flicker in the half-light.
"Yes. Bad idea," she whispers as well. She is so close that the toes of their boots are touching and she is looking up at him with that strange need he associates with her reflecting in them.
His words echo her own: "Yes, very, very bad idea."
Their foreheads are almost touching.
Then, suddenly, they are kissing. Ravenously. Hungrily. As though they have been waiting for ages to do so. And somehow, they have been, thinks Cassian. His brain whirls. It is much better than he has ever imagined, and yes, he has imagined it. Kissing her. Touching her. Cradling her face in his hands. She grabs him around the neck and tugs him down to her harder. Somehow, the contact is not enough.
She is laughing, he realises, and he swallows her laughter as if they were his own.
"I have thought of this," he tells her, gasping between their kisses, "for so long."
"Me too," Again, she laughs against his mouth.
They are backing up to his room and Cassian, still with one hand in her hair, opens the door and pulls her inside. The door shuts with a soft hiss and, almost immediately, clothes are being discarded. Both their jackets are thrown to the floor, their boots, his belt. Then, he reaches to her and drags down her pair of heavy combat trousers. She doesn't even let them pool around her ankles for long; she helps him yank them off and they too join the pile on his floor.
He kisses her again, deeply this time, lingering, with his hands roaming under her shirt, across her naked back. His hands are rough, but somehow gentle, and his touches send all her senses reeling.
"I've never done this before," she gasps.
"What? Sex?"
"Sex with someone good. Sex with someone I care about."
He breaks away from the kiss and stares at her. She is not smiling anymore and there is something extraordinary soft in her expression. Yes, she's had sex before, but they were quick fucks in closed rooms and small closets. With men she found attractive but whose name and conversation she couldn't remember in the morning. But Cassian…
Cassian thinks of the other women he's slept with. Memories of them are fading now, especially with Jyn there in front of him.
"Well, we have something in common then," he says. And then he's kissing her again, but this time, slower, gentler, as if he wants to cherish and prolong the moment. His hand is now at her breasts. He caresses them, drawing out a deep moan from her that makes him shake all over.
Her mind fogs. It can't be this good. It can't. They are not even fully naked yet, for fuck's sake. She feels his lips leave hers.
"What-"
"Shhh."
"Oh god…"
He is on his knees.
"Cassian…"
"Shhh."
He plants a kiss on her ankle, then her knee, then the inside of her thigh. She leans back against the door, she can hardly stand. His fingers hook around the waistband of her underwear and pulls it down. It slides slowly down her legs, pass her knees, off her ankles, until he pulls it off completely. She is sopping wet, she knows, and his mouth is on her in an instant. It is a kiss at first, almost one of reverence, and then her gasps become even louder when the kiss turns into something more.
Yes, she has dreamed about it, at night when her mind has been so lost in sleep that she cannot censor her own feelings. She's dreamed of his head between her legs as he eats her out, his tongue lapping at her clit and him moaning into her. But here, when it is really happening, it is almost too much. Too much..
"I can't…"
He adds a finger, then two, then three. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
She realises she is moaning. Loudly. Unashamedly. Her fists are banging on Cassian's door. He looks up at her and she sees how his eyes are shining. Sees her clear shine on his red lips. He smiles, and he never smiles, and oh, her chest almost bursts with the longing and the pain…
"Has anyone ever done this for you before?" he asks.
She shakes her head.
"Not quite like this."
He smirks and he bends down again, and oh….
His fingers begin pumping in and out of her, the pace frantic and unforgiving. His mouth is on her clit again, drawing circles there with his tongue.
Everything. The scent and the taste of her. Cassian can hardly think, he is so lost that only her moans seem to be the only thing he hears. She is close, he knows, and seeing her there, sprawled across his door, grinding on his face….oh god, he can hardly stand it.
Then he realises her moans are not just moans. They are turning into words. No, a word. She is gasping his name, over and over again, like a desperate prayer.
"Cassian, Cassian, Cassian, Cassian…"
The sound drives him mad and he quickens his pace.
"That's it. Good girl. Come for me, Jyn. Come for me."
With a strangled sob and his name still on her lips, she peaks and crashes and spills. Her whole body tingles, convulses, comes alive, and she falls limply onto him, unable to stand. He catches her, holds her, strokes her face and kisses her with her taste still on his tongue.
"Damn it, captain," she whispers against his lips, laughing. "Do you want to wake the entire base?"
He chuckles. Let them hear, he thinks. Let them all hear. She clutches him to her and together they sway on the spot for a moment, her legs feeling impossibly weak.
He lifts a hand to her cheek and his touch is exquisite.
"I don't care," he says, brushing a strand of hair away from her eyes. "For the first time in my life, I don't care." The mirth is gone from his expression now. Instead, something deep and ernest replaces it. She has never been looked at this way before. Not by anyone. Not ever.
She thinks of Scarif. Of Krennic lying dead on the floor, and Cassian struggling into view with his blaster held out.
She feels a sob rising in her throat. It is not supposed to be like this, she thinks. Not this soft, not this tender, not this….want.
"You saved me," she whispered
His smile returns. "No, Jyn, you saved me."
She is kissing him again. This time, with his face in her hands and with her eyes open, because she wants to look at him forever.
When they break apart, he takes hold of her shirt and pulls it over and off. His eyes roam her breasts and he looks at all of her with awe. His gaze is exceptionally hot, she feels as though her skin could burn from it.
She should blush, but she is passed feeling insecure now. This is Cassian and she is Jyn, and somehow, this feels right, more right than anything she has ever done.
His shirt goes next. She has seen him shirtless before, on missions when he had to change quickly. But every time, she had looked away; it is never decent to be caught ogling your fellow officer. Now, there is no need for her to avert her eyes. She takes him in - his taunt stomach, his broad shoulders, the scars, the way his chest is heaving as he breathes rapidly…
"Your trousers," she gasps, her hand reaching to the item in question. Then, they too are gone. She finds him hard and already leaking, and when she takes him in hand, he shudders against her shoulder. They tumble into bed together, tangled and entwined, lips and teeth knocking, hands roaming furiously as though they would run out of time before they could finish exploring every inch of each other.
"Did you dream of this too?" she whispers, smiling coyly, and she bends down and kisses the head of his cock. The action sends shivers up and down his body.
"God, Jyn…"
She straddles him and lines him up at her entrance. His mind is going absolutely berserk.
"This is going to be different," she says, her chest heaving with longing. "It's going to be different because it's you."
She sinks down - slowly, deliciously - until she takes him in fully, and they both moan and whine as he fills her. She arches and throws her head back as he grinds his hips up to meet her. His hands are now on her breasts and he is tweaking her nipples as she rides him. She rides him mercilessly. With absolute abandon. As though she has been thinking about doing this since the day they met. And she thinks maybe she has.
Incoherent sentences spill from his lips. God, what a sight, he thinks. Jyn riding his cock, with her hair falling around her face, her mouth half-open with desire and her breasts bouncing up and down, the sound of their bodies slapping against each other… It is erotic. Dirty. Intimate. Extremely vulgar, and he revels in it even more.
His hand finds the place where they are joined and, with the lightest of touches, he brushes a finger against her clit. He feels her shudder immediately.
"Fuck, Cassian."
He can't take it anymore, he decides. It is glorious to have her in control, riding him into oblivion, but seeing her with her back arched, keening his name…
He grabs her around the middle and flips them around. She hits the bed and swears in surprise.
"Are we in competition?" she asks, laughing.
"Us?" He smirks. "Never."
He pulls out of her completely. She whines at the loss of him, but then he bends down and plants a kiss on her forehead. She is a mess; her hair is all tangled, her lips all bruised. For a moment, everything becomes still. They stare at each other, their chest rising and falling as they breathe as one.
That tender look is back in his eyes again. "Hello, my love."
She smiles - an adorable, sweet smile he has never seen before. "Hello, my love."
She rests a hand on his cheek. Her touch is soft. Gentle. Pure. Everything she thought she could never be.
He turns his head slightly and kisses the inside of her wrist. A question. A plea.
She nods, and his face splits into a grin.
He slams back into her - fully, swiftly - and she cries out in ecstasy. He pulls out again and slams back in, this time hitting another angle and making her see stars. She wraps her legs around him and digs her heels into his back. Her nails rake across his skin.
"Right there, right there! Faster! Faster!"
He moves, thrusting in and out of her mindlessly. He controls the pace, but she is grinding up to him, matching him ferociously like only she can. They are climbing, climbing, and it does not matter that they are both making enough noise to wake the entire Rebellion. It is them, Jyn and Cassian, so different and yet so similar. Both so scarred and so very on edge with the world that it is impossible for them to be without the other.
He finds her hand and brings it down to where they are joined. Both their fingers, his and hers, begin rubbing circles on her clit - begging, pleading, hungrily seeking that last stretch. The room blurs and everything becomes one as they soar higher, higher, higher. She is sobbing and blabbing incoherently into his ear now, but his voice, although wreck with emotion, is clear.
"I'm close. So close. So close. Look at me, Jyn. Look at me. Look at me."
Her eyes found his and then, only his name drips from her lips as she tumbles over the edge. He groans - whines - at seeing her pleasure, and his pace becomes messier, more frantic, and then, he reaches his peak and releases, tumbling and filling the air with the sound of him screaming her name as though he can never bear to part with it ever again.
They lie there together, with him still inside her, both of them breathing heavily with his head tucked in the crook of her neck.
After they both arrive back down to earth, she lifts a hand and winds it through his hair.
"This is different," she whispers, almost afraid. "Oh god, this is different."
She feels him smile against her skin. He's been smiling a lot tonight. The knowledge that it is because of her makes her heart swell.
He turns his head and presses his lips to her breast. She moans. Will she ever be tire of wanting him? Of aching all over for the need of him?
"I'm ready for different," he says, his voice exceptionally warm. "Aren't you?"
"Yes." The gravity of this realisation washes over her, and her heart quickens with something she reckons must be happiness. She kisses his temple, his forehead, his battered lips. "Yes, I am."
Finally.
—
END