AN I felt compelled to write a less tragic fic for my favourite lovers. So here goes.
Spring Storms
The air was clammy on her skin, oppressive with the threat of rain, with the promise of violent absolution. Dense clouds hurried over her head, taught with friction and brimming discontent, lying thick and angry over the cityscape that stretched below. A warning rumble vibrated softly into the night, growling from the belly of the beast that had yet to roar, the storm gathering across the sky like plumes of ominous smoke billowing from unseen fires.
Yet there was a captivating beauty within the daunting sight – one that drew her in, begging her closer with longing whispers and never making her cower away. She had never been frightened of storms, not in her whole life. She held no fear or distrust, no want to shy away from the raw power that trembled through her bones with each swell of the surf. They were painful for a whole other reason. She had never been able to explain it: the way she sought out rather than recoiled from such a fierce spectacle; the way her heart raced and skin tingled with breathless anticipation; the untouchable sense of loss and warm swathes of comfort that such a destructive act of nature arose in her. It felt like a song somehow, a chorus of voices that had been lost to the wind long ago. A secret etched through time that she had never quite managed to see with her waking eyes.
She felt the embrace of his warmth at her back, the caress of his hand over her shoulder, silent eyes likewise caught on the brewing skyline that beckoned through the open window. The muslin drapes fluttered along the edges of the ledge she sat on, whipped up by the growing winds that pushed through the night. She swept some agitated locks of hair out of her face, yet they still twisted restlessly in the current of the breeze, refusing to settle. She shrugs slightly, an answer to a question he doesn't ask.
"There's just something about thunderstorms."
She expects him to make an affectionate quip, to tease her for her introspective mood and cryptic comments, yet she feels only a thoughtful quiet behind her, the musing brush of his fingers as they rested upon her skin. Another roll of thunder broke through the night, deep and rough and almost mournful in pitch; the sky lighting up again in a bold streak of brilliant, electric white.
"I know what you mean," he murmurs at last.
His hand lingers over the back of her neck, thumb absently stroking circles into her nape, fingertips curling firmly into the ebony waves of her hair. With a soft sigh she leans back into his touch, a soothing peace nestling within her body, yet she can't quite bring herself to close her eyes – too entranced by the unfolding storm that dominated the view before them.
The seasons were changing, turning over and over in an endless circle of rebirth, each new awakening fraught with the sweet turmoil of union and separation. Her gaze swept up into the dark and volatile sky, a familiar sense of urgency stirring somewhere in her veins, the desperate will to surrender, to hold tight and never let go. She felt his fingers tense on her neck, the silent tug of his breath as it caught in his chest, and she knew he felt it too. It was always there. Always guiding their heartbeats in a mutual rhythm, always seeking until found, always aching for the harmony of touch. A burning truth and wisdom that they had discovered together.
A truth that had cost them so very dearly.
She turned her head to look at him, his name on her lips, no more than a pleading whisper of confusion to be uttered into the blanket of night. Yet as she studied him through the shadows, as his eyes lowered to hold hers – the word suddenly escapes her tongue, slipping through her fingers and falling into the gentle flow of time. Names suddenly feel so intangible, so ethereal and fleeting. His fingertips are light and smooth against her cheek, his thumb tracing the curve of her mouth like the kiss of a ghost, something so dark and reverent in his gaze that it breaks her heart all over again. She runs her hand over his wrist and along his arm, her touch shaking so very slightly, fingers flexing into his muscles with an almost painful grip. She'd never seen it so clearly before, never felt it so profoundly, and she didn't even want to understand.
He was who he was. Who he had always been and would forever be to her. The ultimate foundation of all that they were, unchanging and undiminished and utterly defiant to every punishment endured.
She didn't know what he was seeing in her own gaze – whispering echoes breaking to the surface and storming into life, a reflection of the same bittersweet wonder that shone in his own eyes, a shared knowledge that could never be spoken. She may never really know, yet whatever it was that he glimpsed there, it drew his lips together in a tremor of a smile, so faint she wasn't sure if she only imagined it. Her hand found his face, mirroring his own gesture as she ran her fingers along the beautifully defined features she knew by heart, fervently memorizing the touch of his skin as if she had suffered through so many lifetimes without it.
He inhaled quietly, his breath trembling, and her heart threatens to burst from the soft sound. Her eyes finally close as his mouth slowly captures hers, warm and tender and so hauntingly familiar it makes a strangled sob catch in her chest. Lightening splits the air as the sky crashed and surged behind them, the heavens opening in a ferocious downpour, yet both were blind to everything but the delving touch of their bodies, the awakening song in their souls.
He laid her down carefully, ever gentle even in the strength with which he gripped her, pressing them close and claiming her mouth with the same ardent longing that strained and swelled in every part of them. His hands slipped over the heaving curves of her form, engulfing her skin in the wounding kiss of fire, demanding and adoring and unerringly faithful. She doesn't breathe a word of hesitation or restraint, not this time – wanting nothing more than to be lost in the feel of him, to beg him to never stop, to drift forever in the heady current of his warmth and love.
This could never be a sin. Not this, not him…
A shallow whimper escapes her lips as she feels his mouth leave hers, moving down to embrace her whole body, kissing every inch of her skin like he could never drink her in enough, could never bear to pull away, too terrified to lose the salvation of her touch in the binding darkness of the night. She grasped at his arms, fingers clenching into his shoulders and the planes of his back, unyielding with a bruising desperation she couldn't name. She felt the raw depth of need that shuddered through him, just as potent as her own, shaking them both in ways they couldn't verbalise.
She didn't know if it was the storm outside, the black flashing light that broke the night with each roll of thunder, but his eyes seemed so much darker as they met hers once more; deeper and consuming, crowded with regrets and memories that she couldn't speak of and yet were all theirs. All the joy and tragedy that had ever passed, all the hope ever shared, theirs to rediscover again and again. A frown touches her brow as she struggles to comprehend, holding his wordless gaze with unflinching devotion, the touch of his breath feathering over her skin. He looked younger somehow, a wilful passion that would never fade. Forever caught on the cusp of dawning adulthood. It defies all rules of reason and yet she feels as if she's finally seeing all of him for the first time, truly seeing him whole, every hidden facet of his soul laid bare and calling to everything within her, all that was known and heretofore unknown.
Those beautiful, eloquent eyes refuse to let her go as she breathes him in, silently reading her with the same talent he had always possessed, the same way he had poured over his treasured books in the fading afternoon sun. Sharp with intellect yet infinitely soft when turned upon her; bold with an inquisitive nature and constant strive for truth, one that had always lingered under all the troubled arrogance and stubborn pride she knew so well, buried and unseen and only half-conscious.
So many words, poems and verses murmured gently against her ear, lying under the shady leaves, the whisper of water and caressing spring breeze lacing with his own wandering fingertips upon her skin. He had told her so many things, promised to show her so much more, too many chances stolen from them. That same voice, ever passionate and forthright and questioning; the same sweet music that had lulled her heartbeat into time beside his, that had haunted her dreams long before she had even known what it was calling her back to.
And it was all there still, shining in the burn of their gazes, lost and found in the embrace of darkness. Everything she was, all they had ever been; the riddle of their song undone and laid out before her for one daunting moment – everything she had ever felt yet could never see.
Her chest heaves in a shaky breath as she feels an aching sorrow and relief blossom within her breast, engulfing her very being and reaching far deeper than she could hope to understand. She raised a trembling hand to his face, eyes brimming with tears she couldn't control or explain. He pressed his cheek into her palm, his body shivering with her touch, a broken exhale brushing over her skin. She was barely conscious of the words that fell from her lips, awash with secrets and pain only he could ever share.
"I thought I'd lost you."
He pressed a kiss to her fingertips, his voice a raw vibration in his throat as he held her gaze with an unwavering conviction, one that caught deep in her heart. "I promised I wouldn't leave you." She closed her eyes tight against the hot tears and slid her hand around his neck, urgently pulling him closer, savouring the taste of him as his mouth skimmed over hers, as he breathed against her lips in a ragged whisper. "Never again."
An echo of cold despair carried on a chilled night, a wretched cry sundering the misty air, a loss and agony that made her shiver even now – wrapped so close in his arms, held so tight against the warmth of his body. Here and real and so very alive, burning with heat and trembling with all the emotion they had never relinquished. It broke her heart to pieces yet swelled into her soul with a healing completeness she could barely contain; shattered pieces mending each other with every shared breath, every pounding heartbeat, in ways neither of them could grasp and yet were utterly dependant on. A silent vow pledged to the darkness, stolen away into the stars, sealed and sworn with a heavy heart and boundless grief. Fresh blood soaking into graveyard dirt…
He drew his thumb across her cheek, the words a soft command through the air between them.
"Don't be scared."
Never.
She doesn't say it, the demand of their kiss swallowing their voices into the thunder of the storm once more, and yet she knows he hears it. An unconditional forgiveness that makes him tense and shudder, deepening the kiss with a tearful relief, redemption for sins never committed. She had never been scared. Not like that, not with him. No matter what they had done or what they would ever do – she would trust him to her last breath. No matter how he betrayed her, knowingly or not, she would always find her way back to him.
He kissed the curve of her neck, the column of her throat, laying his lips upon her with an intense concentration as if summoning the will to restrain himself, or perhaps to surrender. She buries her face into his shoulder, unable to bear being apart from him any longer. "Please…" she mumbles breathlessly against him, scalding his skin with the soft plead, and it feels like a stolen line, a memory she can't quite put her finger on.
She needed to feel him, to be a part of him, to sink so deep she could no longer tell their pulses apart. The whisper of her voice broke through him in a violent tremble and he raised his head, meeting her eyes and holding her gaze, as if searching for something only he could see, the only person who could ever see all of her. After an agonising moment he leaned in and kissed her again, caressing her mouth with a heartbreaking tenderness, needing her just as desperately as she needed him.
He'd never been able to deny her anything she asked of him – no matter what pain, guilt and heartache was cursed to follow.
Piercing light flashed through the black storm that stretched outside, streaking restlessly across the sky, chasing after something that was forever just out of reach. Raging winds tore through the air, beating the landscape into a wild and unforgiving terrain, harsh and unyielding and yet ever wondrous with new possibilities, the untamed spirits of youth and love. A world without lines or borders, stripped from the barriers of society and fate. A world lost in the past, in the pages of music and dreams, yet always there just under the polished surface, revealed by the elements and finally breathing free. Thunder battled through the clouds, heavy and violent, cracking through the sky like switches upon velvet skin – soft cries echoing from a life unforgotten. Confusion and passion and a fierce longing that were written into the twist of the air and beat of the earthen ground. Lives and hearts entwined, bound together through flesh and soul, forged in the ache of thunder and strike of lightening. Rain lashed against the half-open window, drenching the wooden panels of the floor, cooling the air yet rendering no effect upon the burning heat of their bodies.
Her tears soak his neck, warm and wet against the crook of his shoulder, as they breathe and move. He only holds her closer, his own warmth falling against her flesh, mixing with the sweat that coated their skin. He felt different somehow, and yet she still knew every inch of him blind. She could still recognise the assured confidence and strength that glided through his movements, rippling through her body in stirring waves, yet there was something new and exploring in the way he held her, the urge with which he touched her – desperate and compelling and wracked with sweet sorrow. And the pain was so achingly familiar, like the first time all over again. The feeling sweeps through her too fast to catch, a physical memory ingrained deep in her body, secret even from her conscious mind. Fumbling mutely towards a paradise they had unlocked together such a long time ago, one that reached out with tender fingers, drawing them in and bringing them home.
Their breathing echoed through the moonlight of the storm, pulsing through the heartbeat of the rain, filling their world and bending the line of time into an unbreakable circle.
She pulls him close in the quiet that follows, settling down into the dark together, content to lie in the stillness with him forever.
He lets her gently guide him, a deep and shaking sigh leaving his lungs as he rests his head upon her chest, wrapping his arm firmly around her waist and breathing in the scent of her skin along with the mist of the rain. The earthy sensation soothes a dark place somewhere inside him, a grief and guilt he had never been able to make his peace with before.
A warm and soft rhythm flutters into his ears, making him shiver. The most beautiful sound in the world and he had never truly appreciated it before, never fully understood how fragile and utterly precious it was. It was everything, it was home.
The thought seems to pass his lips unbidden, murmured sleepily into the embrace of her body. "I can hear your heart…"
She smiles softly, though she doesn't completely know why. Her fingers stroke through his hair, holding him close, the words breathed through a dream and bound into the lyrics of their hearts. "Wherever I am…"
Coiled tight around each other, the lovers finally drifted into exhausted sleep. Outside, the storm was beginning to pass over, calming and stilling into the peaceful night once more. The seasons would always change and turn, summer was dawning and breaking across the sky, but at last the children of spring had nothing to fear anymore.
~o~
In the end…we have only each other.
~o~