Disclaimer: Someday maybe I'll have my own show and then I'm going to write fanfiction for it but I won't have to include a disclaimer because I actually will own it. But that is not today. I don't own FMA. It is unavailable for purchase. Believe me, I tried

Al couldn't pinpoint the exact moment that his recent troubles began- he supposed somewhere around birth- but he could pinpoint the exact moment that they got a whole lot worse.

It had been ages since he had gotten his body back from the gate, six years to be more exact, and life was not going the way he had planned. Especially now that Mai had broken up with him and gone back to Xing. She assured him that it was nothing personal, simply that her duties as princess outranked those of being a good girlfriend, and that they could remain friends. Then she packed up her stuff and left. That had been six months ago. Al still wasn't used to the empty apartment. But that wasn't all that had gone unexpected. After returning from studying in Xing, Al had accepted a job as a state alchemist for want of money and research grants. He hated to admit it, but he actually kind of liked it. He was working under Mustang but rather than annoy him, as it had with Edward, it was actually rather useful. Mustang almost never gave Al orders, and Al was free to come and go to the office as he pleased. He spent the majority of his days holed up in a private room at the library, decoding notes to further his study of Alkehestry. This only further reminded him of Mai. Which brought him back to that…

A throat cleared. Al jumped. He had been so lost in thought that he had not even noticed Hawkeye sitting across for him.

"Oh, Lt! How long where you sitting there?"

"Not long" she said. She leaned forward across the mess hall table and said seriously, "Listen Al, I need your help."

And that was it. The moment that changed everything. The moment that led to him carrying a trashcan of puke down the central command hallway. The moment that led to possibly the most awkward moment of his life, and the moment that led to Hawkeye… well, never-mind.

She leaned across the table.

"What do you need help with?" he asked curiously.

She relaxed a bit. "So you'll do it?"

"Um… depends on what I'm agreeing to, I guess" said Al. Was he missing something here?

"A friend of mine is in town. Old friend from high school. Acquaintance really. She was already a senior when I was a freshman, but we met when-"

"Um, excuse me but I don't see-"

"I'm getting to that. Anyways, she brought her daughter with her and she's a bit down in the dumps."

"So?"

"So I want you to take her on a date." Said Hawkeye matter- of -factly.

Al nearly chocked on his water.

"With your friend?" he asked incredulously.

"No, with her daughter."

"But why me?"

"Because you're the same age, and you're one of the nicest guys I know, and if I don't find someone I'm going to keep hearing her complain for the next two weeks. So just do it. Okay?"

"Fine" said Al. It looked like Hawkeye was about to say something else, but stopped herself.

"Um, was there anything else?" Al prompted.

"Well, it's just… okay I have to tell you. There's a reason this girls single. She's a nutcase. A fat ugly rude nutcase. Revolting."

Al raised his eyebrows in shock. He had never heard the Lieutenant talk like that before.

"Well, I said I'd do it… so…" said Al slowly.

"Yes! Thank you Al, you're the best!" A few soldiers several seats over turned to stare. Hawkeye was really out of character now. She seemed to realize this too because she straitened herself up again and went back to her usual stoic demeanor.

"Thank you. Pick her up at my place at seven." She picked up her uneaten tray of food and walked away.

0OoO0

Al knocked on Hawkeye's door promptly at seven. He was dressed the same way that he was for work, brown suit neatly buttoned with his favorite green tie. Taking a leaf out of Ed's book, he'd refused the military uniform from day one, and nobody seemed to care. In the back of his mind, he wondered what else he could get away with. Being a state alchemist had its perks.

The door opened right away. Hawkeye was dressed in civilian clothes. Al was surprised at how, well, normal she looked when not in uniform. He didn't know what he expected though. He mentally conjured up a picture of Hawkeye sleeping in her full uniform. The corner of his mouth twitched.

"Something funny?" she asked, deadpan. He shook his head. She stepped back and allowed him to enter. "She's just getting ready. Come meet her mother." Al supposed that if he'd ever gone to high school, that this is how dating might have felt.

The woman was waiting in the main room; the kitchen/living room combo. She was nervous looking, with dark hair and a thin face. She was boring- looking, but not altogether unattractive. Al figured that if her daughter looked anything like her than maybe the night wouldn't be too bad. Then he mentally slapped himself for being shallow. He put on his friendliest smile.

"Hi! I'm Alphonse Elric!" he said cheerily as he held out his hand. The woman took it nervously.

"My daughter will be out in just a moment" she said. Then she turned to Hawkeye.

"Are you sure about this, Riza? He seems a bit too good for her." Alphonse turned scarlet. The women ignored him.

"Don't be silly Jenna" said Hawkeye in her no- nonsense way. "I'm sure they'll get along fine.

"I'M READY NOW!" announced a voice from behind Al. The two women turned in the direction it came from. Al turned around.

Standing in the doorway was a whale with curly black hair and a face like a pig. Her eyes were small, dark, and beady, and her nose turned up like a snout. Her skin was so red that it appeared pink, and had a shiny layer of what at first Al thought was oil, but one look at the dark spots on the cardigan over her dress told him was sweat. She took a step forward, and her entire voluptuous body jiggled as the fat was displaced. Al's jaw dropped before he quickly caught himself. He put his smile back on. After all, looks weren't everything, right?

"Hi, I'm Alphonse Elric" he said. Though he didn't show it, he was extremely reluctant to offer his hand. She however, took it eagerly with both of hers. They were moist. Al glanced awkwardly at Hawkeye who was watching the exchange with mingled disgust and amusement.

"I'm Sydney. It's got two 'y's" she said.

"Sydney. Two 'y's. Got it" smiled Al.

"Sydney is studying Xingese at East City University" supplied Hawkeye.

"Oh!" said Al. "Do you like the school?" he asked Sydney in Xingese. She stared at him blankly. He tried again. "How long have you been taking it?" he asked, still in Xingese. She looked nervous now. Al felt bad; he'd made her uncomfortable. He smiled politely and said in Amestrian "So, you ready to go?" She smiled and nodded.

"Be back around ten!" Her mother called after them.

"Unless you take her back to your place" Riza said seriously, but Al could tell she was trying her hardest not to laugh. If he had been Ed, he would have made a very rude hand gesture to her at that point. Instead, he turned and led Sydney out the door.

A/N: I wanted to write something that showed Al as an adult, and this is what happened. I wanted to make the physical description of Sydney really over the top, but I feel a little bad about it! Also, I know Hawkeye is really OOC, don't worry, it shall be explained. The date is in chapter 2, which will be up really soon (Pinky promise!) but please review and tell me what you think. It really, really helps. Thanks!