A/N: I don't own Azula or Ed Bighead. Although I write crack fics, I decided to try something much darker and less comedic. The following contains VERY TERRIFYING VIOLENCE. It is not meant for the squeamish nor faint of heart and is very sad. Viewer discretion is strongly advised.
Ed Bighead's Big Mistake
*Bighead House, garden*
"Oh Eeeeeeeeeed!" Bev said all seductive as she flirted with her husband Ed Bighead.
"NOT NOW WOMAN! SHUT UP!" Ed roared, causing Bev to run upstairs crying. (sigh) "Bitch." Ed said as he went back to work.
Rocko was playing with his friends Heffer and Fillbert in his yard when Ed yelled at Bev.
The young wallaby walked up to his fence and said "Um Mr. Bighead…I know it's not our business, but the way you treated Bev…."
"THEN STAY OUT IF IT!" Ed barked as he sprayed Rocko, Fillbert and Heffer w/ his hose.
*Park, late afternoon before sunset*
"Stupid Bev, almost as stupid as those good-for-nothing-neighbors." Ed Bighead said to himself as he was strolling through a park being the bitter, old, douchebag that he is. Having made it to the center of the park he stopped to take a breather at a huge tree near a bush.
"Hello there Mr. Frog!" said a childish voice.
Turning around, Ed Bighead saw a smiling little girl. She was of Japanese descent, dressed in red clothes and wore a headband with some strange fire symbol on it. Having never seen her before, Ed believed this kid just moved into town.
The little girl introduced herself with "My name's "Azula." What's your….?"
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME A FROG?! I'M A CANE TOAD YOU LITTLE RETARDED BRAT!" Ed snapped.
"Uh….uh….uh…Mr. Toad?" Azula asked, now terrified.
(mockingly) "Uh….uh….uh…Mr. Toad? THAT'S NOT MY NAME, IT'S ED BIGHEAD, DON'T YOU FUCKING FORGET IT! UNDERSTAND?!"Bighead warned.
Azula nodded all scared.
As Ed calmed down he said "I take it you're new here, do you have a family?"
"Y…..yes…..I have a father and one brother." Azula answered, still scared.
"Well what about a mommy?" Ed asked.
Azula didn't answer, looked at the ground and started to cry.
"Oh, I see… well at least she loved you right? (Azula cried even harder which gave Ed Bighead an evil idea) Oh wait she didn't? AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! EVEN IN DEATH SHE SEES YOU AS AN ACCIDENT?! THAT IS RICH! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" Ed laughed evilly.
Azula sank to her knees and kept crying.
"Hey, hey, hey calm down you little shit." Ed smiled as he bent down and clenched Azula's right cheek while wiping one of her tear drops on his right index finger before licking it. The sobbing little girl didn't know why she was being treated like this. "Mmmmmmmm…Nothing like watching snot-nose, accidents like yourself realizing that they're disappointments." Ed taunted, he relished in the fact that this child who was once all happy and cheerful had now been reduced to a sobbing mess. Azula's eyes were red from all the tears as she looked at Mr. Bighead.
Then the cane toad said this, "But hey…at least she has a son."
Upon hearing this, Azula glared and fired a small, blue flame, lightning bolt shot at Mr. Bighead's crotch.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Mr. Bighead screamed as he fell to the ground and rolled up in fetal position.
Azula then pulled out her brother's knife she had stolen and removed her headband which freed her hair. To Ed Bighead, Azula looked like a demonic, knife-wielding monster. No amount of begging would stop the Hell-Bent child, as she leapt and stabbed the cane toad's already injured genitals. Mr. Bighead screamed bloody murder, tears pouring down his face as he helplessly watched Azula remove both of his testicles while stabbing his penis over and over again with murderous intent. Blood gushed from what was once Mr. Bighead's manhood, now reduced to a bloody, cut up hole. Not finished, Azula then cut his arms, legs, eyeballs, lips and face to the point where he was unrecognizable. Then she relentlessly stabbed the eunuch toad all over his body from head to toe until he stopped responding. Azula used her remaining energy to skin the toad she had just murdered.
As Azula sat there drenched in Ed's blood, her father Ozai came out from hiding behind a bush which surprised his daughter.
"I'm proud of you, my Azula." He said with a smile.
"Thanks Father!" Azula smiled back.
From the grave, Ursa saw what her daughter had become and mourned.
"It's all my fault." She regretted.
A/N: Hey guys, sorry about this one being really dark but I wanted to try something besides comedy. But don't worry, I'll have another funny story out this week. Anyway I hope all is well, take care and please review!
