Very, very ridiculous and kinda childish drabble. My first CM fic. Whoo.
Disclaimer: Okay. Since this is a new fandom for me, I will explain. I find it exceptionally difficult to admit that I don't own anything. I like to pretend. Isn't that what fanfiction is about? If you want more, check out my profile.
Also, title isn't mine. Cookies for the person who guesses it.
"Ouch! He hit me!"
"Quit whining."
"He actually punched me! I'm gonna have a bruise. Look, JJ!"
Agent Jennifer Jareau stifled a retort. Being stuck in a car for three hours with most of the BAU team was bound to make anyone crack. Especially when Dr Spencer Reid will not keep his mouth shut.
"Reid, I don't want to see it."
"But he-"
"I swear to God, Reid," Hotchner started. "If I don't hear silence in the next five seconds, I'm going to pull over and you can walk."
Reid opened his mouth to say something, then wisely decided against it. Rossi turned around from the front passenger seat to look at Reid. On both sides of the young profiler, his co-workers were staring sternly out the window. Morgan was swallowing a smirk, and JJ was trying desperately to keep the corners of her mouth neutral. Reid, on the other hand, pressed his lips together and rubbed his upper arm. Rossi gave him a long, silent look.
For a whole seven minutes, four people in the car experienced a blissful absence of sound.
Then Reid could not contain himself any longer.
"Veris leta facies-"
Hotch slammed on the brakes, pulled over onto the grassy verge and whirled around to face a suddenly grinning Reid.
"Reid." Hotchner's voice was soft and measured. "We are all disappointed that we couldn't take the jet. We're all tired. But you are not going to drive. And if you recite another Latin verse, I will give Morgan permission to pummel you into unconsciousness."
Reid smirked. They all knew that wasn't going to happen. He waited until Hotchner had coaxed the car back onto the road and was cruising safely just under the speed limit.
"Zephyrus nectareo-"
There was a muffled scuffle from the back seat. Rossi turned around just in time to see JJ stick a considerable amount of duct tape across Reid's face as Morgan was cuffing the genius' hands behind him. Hotchner caught sight of the restraining in the rear-view mirror.
"Is that safe?" he questioned as Reid got over the shock and started squawking indignantly.
"Can you breathe?" JJ asked Reid in all seriousness. Reid shook his head furiously.
"He'll be fine," Morgan said. "We can all have some peace and quiet if he passes out anyway."
Yes, I know, short and weird. In my defence, it is now 3:29AM. Scratch that. 3:30AM.
Apologies, this wasn't beta'ed. Btw, I need a beta for this fandom, anyone willing to help? Leave a review or PM me.