A/N: I love sixwordshort on Twitter, and used "Will you still love me tomorrow?" as a prompt. This takes place immediately after the angsty perfection of Paige and Mike hugging, during 3x02, "Chester Cheeto."
Mike carefully eased himself into a sitting position on Paige's bed and watched her climb out of bed without a backwards glance. Ignoring her discarded clothing on the floor, she grabbed a robe and slipped it on. She sidestepped the boxes on the floor and made her way to the window to stare outside.
Clearly, she needed some time to process what happened between them tonight. He did too. Because when he came in her room tonight to come clean about everything that happened at Sylmar, sleeping together was the furthest thought from his mind.
For so long, what Paige had been thinking had been a mystery but for the first time in a long time he had an idea of what was going on inside her head. He was pretty sure that her thoughts mirrored his.
Mike's hand automatically went to his side and he tried to figure out if he needed another pain pill or not. Sleeping together just now, probably wasn't the best idea for his recovery, but he needed to be with her more than he needed to rest.
After months of lying to each other and weeks of avoiding each other, they finally told the truth. Once everything was finally out in the open, they were both so raw emotionally, that they ended up kissing after she broke down in his arms. He couldn't remember if he kissed her first. Or if she kissed him. All he remembered was feeling alive again for the first time in weeks. Before he realized what was happening they were in bed together.
Both of them were desperate to connect. Touch. Be together after everything they had gone through. Even if it was just for a moment. They were both a little banged up. Paige still had some bandages on her arm and the bruises around her neck had mostly faded away, but he knew they were still there hidden beneath the makeup she carefully applied to cover them. He had recovered enough to be out of the hospital, but barely. He was going through pills faster than he would like, but he was determined to not go back.
Neither of them needed to say the words in order for them to know that this was a one time thing. This was goodbye. Breakup sex. Whatever they decided to call it, it was a one time thing. They both knew it.
Neither of them had the strength to end things before. But now, they needed to.
Thinking back, Mike wasn't quite sure when they ended. If it was after she found out about Jess. Or when he got her out of Sylmar. After he lied about Lina. After she lied and led a raid on Sylmar and saved his life in the process. If it was In the warehouse after he got shot and when he was delirious with pain he told her the truth about Lina. When that truth completely rocked her world and she did the unthinkable and sent Sid to kill him. Or when she refused to come visit him in the hospital after he survived. When they finally came face to face and she made it clear that she didn't want him saving her.
He also wasn't sure when he realized he still loved her.
If it was when he opened her eyes and hers wasn't the first face he saw. Or when he realized her plan was to sacrifice herself to put Sid behind bars and he was willing to risk his life to save hers.
Maybe he just needed to accept that he had never stopped.
Mike sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He barely remembered undressing and suddenly dressing seemed like some insurmountable task. He wasn't sure he could get dressed without some sort of discomfort and the last thing he wanted was for Paige to see him in any sort of pain. He glanced across the room and since she was staring out the window, he figured it was safe to bend forward and start grabbing his clothes. He must've grimaced, because Paige suddenly turned around.
"Are you okay?" Paige asked, her eyes filled with concern. She quickly made her way across her room, stopping to pick up her own discarded clothing before handing over his.
He offered her a small smile and she tossed her things in the hamper as he pulled on his boxers. "Just a twinge," he lied.
It felt like his body was falling apart. He wasn't sure if he could make it down the hall to his room right now. He just needed a few minutes to gather his strength, because he didn't want to look pathetic in front of her. The last thing he wanted or needed was her pity.
"I don't know what to say," Paige quietly admitted.
Mike shrugged as he pulled on his tshirt. "Maybe there's nothing to say."
The past few months were proof that he and Paige were toxic together. As much as he truly believed that they brought out the best in each other, they brought out the worst too. But tonight was also proof of something.
They were still drawn together.
Tonight meant something. He wasn't quite sure what. Even if they had gone slow tonight, they hadn't made love. But tonight wasn't just sex either. It wasn't just lust. It was survival.
They needed each other more than they were willing to admit. And unless they were willing to admit that, there was nothing to say.
"Don't say that," Paige said as she moved to sit next to him.
"I don't know what the rules are here. We both know that tonight, we both needed tonight. But I think for once we're on the same page. It can't happen again," Mike said.
Paige swiped at the tears in her eyes. She sadly smiled at him, "This isn't how things were supposed to be."
They had been through so much that he wasn't sure how things were supposed to be. But being apart wasn't something he ever envisioned for them.
"But this is where we are."
Closure was something both of them needed. Especially if Paige was going to remain at Graceland. Yes, they worked for different agencies, but they still worked together. Their rooms were next to each other. They couldn't ignore each other forever. Maybe today was the first step towards closure.
But it didn't have to be. It could be a first step in a new direction.
He knew he shouldn't push for more, but he couldn't help it. He hated the idea of him and Paige officially being over. Even if it was for the best, it wasn't what either of them wanted.
Paige turned slightly so she was facing him. She stared at his face as if she was memorizing it. Mike closed his eyes as she lovingly ran her fingers along his face, relishing the bittersweetness of her touch. She brushed her lips over his in the sweetest of kisses and proceeded to cover his face in featherlight kisses, before she rested her forehead against his and sighed.
Mike rested his hand on the small of her back, holding her close. He trailed his hand up her back until he was cupping the back of her neck, but didn't kiss her.
Right now in this moment, her guard was down. She felt free to love him tonight, but probably wouldn't tomorrow.
"Will you still love me tomorrow?" Mike asked. The words were out of his mouth before he could stop himself.
Paige pulled away from him as if he had slapped her. "Mike, don't," Paige said, scooting away from him.
"I'm sorry - no, you know what? I'm not apologizing for asking. We can say we're over as much as we want, but we both know that we're not."
"We can't be together. You know why," Paige harshly whispered.
"I don't care. I know how you make me feel and I know you feel it too."
What happened between them earlier wasn't pity. It wasn't some one-sided thing. The only reason he and Paige hurt each other as much as they did was because they loved each other as much as they did.
"It doesn't matter. What I did - "
"We both did horrible things."
"Unforgivable things."
"I forgive you. I meant it when I told you that the other night. Stop avoiding the question."
Paige stared at him for what seemed like an eternity. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to say yes? I can't Mike. I can't let you love me. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your forgiveness."
"We lied to each other for months," Mike said. "Just tell me the truth. For once, just tell me the truth!" He realized he was a hypocrite, asking her for the truth when he was the one that lied to her time and time again.
"You don't understand what you're asking. You think - "
"Paige..."
"YES! YES I WILL STILL LOVE YOU TOMORROW! And the next day and the day after that, I just - " Paige broke down in tears again after her outburst.
Mike went to comfort her, but she pushed him away. Even though it was about him, he tried not to take it personally. He pushed her too far. Mike moved closer to Paige, but he was careful not to touch her. "I don't know how to do this," Mike confessed. "I screwed things up so badly. I trashed my career. I wrecked us. I hurt you." Out of everything, that was what hurt the most. His wounds would heal, but the scars on their hearts would never go away. He hurt Paige so badly, lied to her so much that somehow in her mind the only thing that would make things right in the world again was for him to die. What kind of person was he? To deserve that. To forgive that. To still love her after that.
Paige hung her head down, unable to hide behind her hair because it was so short. "I don't know how to do this," Paige said, echoing his words from moments earlier. "I'm not in any kind of place to be with you. I'm drowning in guilt. I don't know how you forgave me, when I can't even forgive myself. I don't know how you can love me, when I can't even love myself."
"Because I know you."
Paige sadly shook her head. "You thought you did. You're holding onto some impossible version of me that doesn't exist. Maybe she never did. That girl you saw the first night singing karaoke was a cover."
"What about the girl in the bathroom? The one determined to do whatever it took to take down Bobby Moi. When it would've been easy to give up, you didn't. Don't give up on us, Paige."
"What do you want me to say?"
Mike tentatively reached for her hand and was relieved when she didn't pull away. "Say you'll try. We'll figure out how to do this, together. It's not going to be easy. We can't just start over, we have a lot of things to work through."
"I can't make any sort of promises to you."
"I'm not asking for promises."
"What you're asking, what if I can't give that to you? I want to Mike. Really, I do. But I'm all messed up inside. I need to figure out myself before getting involved. It's not up to you to fix things - to fix me. It's not fair to you," Paige quietly said. "I'm sorry."
Mike took a deep breath as he absorbed her words. His natural instinct was to tell her that it didn't matter to him. That he wanted to be with her no matter what. But he needed to respect her wishes, even if it wasn't what he wanted. He had to remind himself that she hadn't said no forever, but for now.
Mike brought her hand to his lips and kissed it, "Don't apologize, okay? I understand." He hated it, but he understood. If he and Paige were truly going to have a shot, they both needed to be able to stand on their own first. He had his own things to work through.
Paige hugged him tightly, burying her face in the crook of his neck. "Will you still love me tomorrow?"
Mike pulled back slightly so he could look into her eyes. He didn't want there to be any chance that she would misinterpret his words. "Yes. I will still love you tomorrow. And the next day, and the day after that."
Mike pressed his lips softly against hers, giving Paige the sweetest kiss goodbye.
It wasn't goodbye forever, but that kiss would have to last all the days it took for them to find their way back to each other again.