Queen Beryl worked the ball with great vigor as she looked over the fifty or so minions who had gathered around. Most of them were wounded in some way shape or form.
"WHAT HAPPENED?" She bellowed. A hooded monster stepped forward.
"So you sent us to gather energy over in Kyoto right?" the monster began. Beryl glared.
"AND?"
"And we got there and we were zapping people over all the shopping mall right, and then these two bolts of energy came out and we got zapped yo," the monster responded.
"YO?"
"Sorry, sorry, we picked it up from our human victims," the monster said.
"Stop it!" Beryl snapped. "What types of energy?"
"Aquamarine and Yellow."
"Very well, all of you, focus on finding whoever is causing this surprise energy!"
The mob all moaned agreement.
Jadeite strode in.
Beryl suppressed a sigh as he approached.
"Greetings Queen Beryl," he began.
"Can't wait for this one," Nephlite said materializing into view.
"Oh hello Doll Collector," Jadeite snarled.
"They are action figures scum," Nephlite said.
"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" Beryl asked.
Zoisite appeared in a swirl of cherry blossom petals.
"Oh my looks like the dumb ass brigade is out in force tonight," she said.
"Come down here and say that!" Jadeite shouted. Zoisite glided to the ground and stood in front of him.
"Oh..." Jadeite said in surprise. "Wasn't expecting that."
"You are a fool Jadeite!" Malachite shouted striding in flipping his cape dramatically and unnecessarily. "Queen Beryl have you seen these expense reports?"
"We have expense reports?" the Queen asked. "What do we need money for?"
"Not money, energy Queen Beryl, Queen Metalia requires us to keep records of our efforts to get her what she needs. She does not take kindly on waste," Malachite said.
"Everything I spend is justified, it's all in the paperwork!" Jadeite snapped.
"Hardly," Malachite said. "It would be cheaper to actually rent these places with human money rather than building it with negaenergy..."
"I know what I'm doing!" Jadeite snapped.
"What is your plan this time Jadeite?" Beryl asked.
Jadeite scowled and looked around surrounded by his enemies.
"Ok...get this..." he began. "Humans enjoy furniture a great deal..." he hissed.
The entire room started cackling.
"WHAT? SERIOUSLY?" Nephlite said and continued to laugh. "Oh my you are a negadick."
Everyone continued to laugh.
"HEY! Listen! I'll show you all!" he shouted and vanished.
"What a negahole," Zoisite said.
Beryl waved her hands over the ball even faster and contemplated her hiring practices.
Rica Kelton, Lisa Brownridge, and Molly Baker rushed down the Crossroads Junior High School hallway and slid nearly collapsing over each other as they came in the door to the classroom. Serena turned to look at them.
"HEY Seren-aaa," Molly said in her unforgettable accent. "Guess what, there's a great deal on furni-turrrr down at this new store."
The three girls held out a flyer. Serena looked it over took one and walked over to Amy who was hurriedly eating before class started. She showed it to her.
"Even I know what this is..." she muttered. "Also can I have that rice ball?"
Amy reluctantly nodded and surrendered the rice ball.
"We'll go after school then," Amy said.
A few hours later Jadeite, clad in a resplendent chartreuse Armani suit, stood inside the NOTEVIL DISCOUNT FURNITURE EMPORIUM that sat on the edge of Juuban in the shadow of Tokyo Tower, like everything. He watched as customers flowed through the store examining the various couches, beds, and duvets and marveling at the various prices.
"DELIVERY IS FREE!" he bellowed. Everyone cheered happily. Seconds later the front door exploded as a fireball smashed through it.
"EH?"
Sailor Moon, Mars, and Mercury hurried in.
"Curses!" Jadeite muttered and vanished. A monster made up of annoying brown tweed burst from a backroom, flinging flaming pillows left and right. The three scouts dodged it hurriedly.
A rose flew through the air and hit the monster, only to bounce off the softness and land on the floor.
"Farewell," Tuxedo Mask said and promptly left.
"Mercury Bubbles Blast!" Mercury shouted. The room filled with fog.
"That's good, couches hate fog," Mars responded.
"What is going on?" the monster said.
"MOON TIARA...MAGIC!" Sailor Moon shouted. The monster vanished as the golden disc sliced through it. The store melted around them as the magic faded.
"Well that was stupid," the three scouts said.
Sailor Moon Says
SERENA: Today Jadeite encountered a hostile work environment. Sometimes co-workers don't get along and it can make a job stressful.
RAYE: You might get upset some days and feel like you should kidnap your fellow employee's friend and lure them into a trap.
AMY: But don't do that. Try to talk it out with them or if things get real bad talk to your supervisor or Queen.
DARIEN: I didn't realize the couch monster would be all bouncy like that...I have nothing to add here...
LUNA: Whether you're in retail or one of three overworked animators trying to rush Sailor Moon Crystal out...you're part of a team. Try not to fight so much!
RAYE: Ya hear that Serena?
SERENA: Hey! It's not my fault. You start everything!
RAYE: I do not!
SERENA: *Incomprehensible shrieking*
LUNA: I wish I had a human resources department to report them to...
SERENA: Sailor Moon Says! *laugh*
FIGHTING EVIL BY MOON LIGHT! WINNING LOVE BY DAYLIGHT!
ANNOUNCER: Up next...VR Troopers!
SHE IS THE ONE...SAILOR MOON MOON MOON MOON *bamp*