CHEESEMAN GETS KNIGHTED
By Daniel Croxton
Cheeseman was known all around the world except for Great Britain. He also
isn't known in France but screw the French they smell like urine and throw- up. What
about Canada? You say. Well he was known in Canada too, but he was banned after he
got drunk and whizzed into Niagara Falls singing his own parody of Oh Canada.
"SCREW CANADA, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU ALL" sang Cheeseman
holding a Molson Blue.
Anyways, The Queen of England called the Mayor Conspiracy one day and then
he called Cheeseman.
"Hello" said Chester (Of course I said Hello, It would be kind of rude to say
'What the heck do you want')
"Chester, I need Cheeseman right away, the Queen of England called me and
requested you" said the Mayor
"Oh she was impressed with my track record huh?"
"No, all the other superheroes were busy doing other things and you were the only
one with enough time on your hands to do anything"
"Oh well what does she want me to do"
"Dr. Urger has terrorized the country by giving Chinese people to every family in
England"
"So"
"So, little did they know that the Chinese people that they got as gifts had the
SARS disease"
"Bum bum bummmm" said Bob Caesar, who was on the other line "Hey Bob, I guess you know what's up"
"Yeah, let's go"
So, with that, Cheeseman and Super Kroger Bagger Man went to the Fortrice of
Masculinity and they were off to save Great Britain from the deadly SARS virus. After
they got some donuts and some soft drinks and wrestled gorillas from the Amazon while
wearing thong underwear and doing the hula they got right down to business. (Now really
was that really necessary.)(No but it was needed to make the story longer)
"Here we are in Great Britain," said Cheeseman "Now let's go look for Dr. Urger
somewhere in this country"
"But where do we look first" said Super Kroger Bagger Man
"Hey Cheeseman, here I am" said Dr. Lim B. Urger way up high in Big Ben
"Oh really now why did you tell me where you are?"
"Because I have to or else you'll never find me"
"Wouldn't you want us not to find you?"
"No because if you don't find me then this story becomes long and boring"
"Oh yeah, we'll be up in about 20 minutes"
"Well hurry up, SARS won't cure itself"
"Geez what a moron and a smart alleck" said Super Kroger Bagger Man
"There is no time for that now we have SARS to cure" said Cheeseman heroically
"Okey-dokey Cheeseman"
"Please don't say that again"
"OK then"
"Hey guys" I said dramatically (once again my story)
"Yes Mr. Writer sir"
"Why don't you just go in and defeat Dr. Urger and then the cure would be yours"
"Elaborate"
"How much did you pay for that word Cheeseman?" said Dr. Urger from Big Ben
"About $1.50 but that is beside the point"
"Anyways, I forgot to say that Dr. Urger has the cure for SARS"
"Well, what is it"
"I don't know I am just the writer of the book, I'm not a frickin doctor for crying'
out loud"
"But I am" said Dr. Urger "And you'll never catch me alive"
"That's what you think"
"Oooooo good comeback did you think of that all by yourself or did your mommy
help you"
"Listen I would love to help you Cheeseman but I have a story to write and girls
to satisfy" (What did I tell you before, my story. My rules)
"Lets go Super Kroger Bagger Man"
"Right behind you Cheeseman"
Just like that, Cheeseman and Super Kroger Bagger Man are went to Big Ben and
there they met Dr. Urger.
"You'll never defeat me"
"That's what you said the last 2,534,974 times that we met, 'You'll never defeat
me' 'you'll never defeat me,' give it a rest"
"Well what about the excruciating, unnecessarily long fight sequence"
"Oh alright if we must"
And with that the fight was on. Bam, Zip, Pow, Doohickey, Son-of-a, adenoid,
Hydroxide, Quiver, Shamalamadingdong, and Kevorkian. With that the fight was over.
(Actually it was over after Doohickey I just wanted it to look longer)
"I'll get you for this" said Dr. Urger while he is going to Britain's finest jail
"Yeah like you tell me every time"
Later at a special ceremony
"For bravery, and saving Britain from the nasty virus called SARS, I dub thee Sir
Cheeseman" said the Queen of England "and Sir Super Kroger Bagger Man"
"Thank you your majesty," said Sir Cheeseman (Thanks for the title)(No prob
glad to do it)
" We saved the world again but how did you cure SARS," said Sir Super Kroger
Bagger Man
"Well you see the cure is quite simple"
WILL DR. URGER EVER GET OUT OF PRISON, WILL CHEESEMAN AND
HIS COLLIGE LET THIS GET TO THEIR HEADS, WILL I EVER SHUT UP LONG
ENOUGH TO HAVE THEM TELL US WHAT THE CURE FOR SARS IS?
"And that is the cure for SARS"
"That's it? I thought that it was going to be more complicated than that"
"No no it was quite simple actually"
"Oh well I guess its back to the good old USA"
"Right after this fine champagne"
"Oh no, we are going to be thrown out of this country as well"
THE END??? (Heck no, How else do you expect me to make a living)
Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana CHEESEMAN, Nana nana nana nana
nana nana nana nana CHEESEMAN, CHEESEMAN, CHEESEMAN, BATMAN er I
mean CHEESEMAN.
By Daniel Croxton
Cheeseman was known all around the world except for Great Britain. He also
isn't known in France but screw the French they smell like urine and throw- up. What
about Canada? You say. Well he was known in Canada too, but he was banned after he
got drunk and whizzed into Niagara Falls singing his own parody of Oh Canada.
"SCREW CANADA, NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU ALL" sang Cheeseman
holding a Molson Blue.
Anyways, The Queen of England called the Mayor Conspiracy one day and then
he called Cheeseman.
"Hello" said Chester (Of course I said Hello, It would be kind of rude to say
'What the heck do you want')
"Chester, I need Cheeseman right away, the Queen of England called me and
requested you" said the Mayor
"Oh she was impressed with my track record huh?"
"No, all the other superheroes were busy doing other things and you were the only
one with enough time on your hands to do anything"
"Oh well what does she want me to do"
"Dr. Urger has terrorized the country by giving Chinese people to every family in
England"
"So"
"So, little did they know that the Chinese people that they got as gifts had the
SARS disease"
"Bum bum bummmm" said Bob Caesar, who was on the other line "Hey Bob, I guess you know what's up"
"Yeah, let's go"
So, with that, Cheeseman and Super Kroger Bagger Man went to the Fortrice of
Masculinity and they were off to save Great Britain from the deadly SARS virus. After
they got some donuts and some soft drinks and wrestled gorillas from the Amazon while
wearing thong underwear and doing the hula they got right down to business. (Now really
was that really necessary.)(No but it was needed to make the story longer)
"Here we are in Great Britain," said Cheeseman "Now let's go look for Dr. Urger
somewhere in this country"
"But where do we look first" said Super Kroger Bagger Man
"Hey Cheeseman, here I am" said Dr. Lim B. Urger way up high in Big Ben
"Oh really now why did you tell me where you are?"
"Because I have to or else you'll never find me"
"Wouldn't you want us not to find you?"
"No because if you don't find me then this story becomes long and boring"
"Oh yeah, we'll be up in about 20 minutes"
"Well hurry up, SARS won't cure itself"
"Geez what a moron and a smart alleck" said Super Kroger Bagger Man
"There is no time for that now we have SARS to cure" said Cheeseman heroically
"Okey-dokey Cheeseman"
"Please don't say that again"
"OK then"
"Hey guys" I said dramatically (once again my story)
"Yes Mr. Writer sir"
"Why don't you just go in and defeat Dr. Urger and then the cure would be yours"
"Elaborate"
"How much did you pay for that word Cheeseman?" said Dr. Urger from Big Ben
"About $1.50 but that is beside the point"
"Anyways, I forgot to say that Dr. Urger has the cure for SARS"
"Well, what is it"
"I don't know I am just the writer of the book, I'm not a frickin doctor for crying'
out loud"
"But I am" said Dr. Urger "And you'll never catch me alive"
"That's what you think"
"Oooooo good comeback did you think of that all by yourself or did your mommy
help you"
"Listen I would love to help you Cheeseman but I have a story to write and girls
to satisfy" (What did I tell you before, my story. My rules)
"Lets go Super Kroger Bagger Man"
"Right behind you Cheeseman"
Just like that, Cheeseman and Super Kroger Bagger Man are went to Big Ben and
there they met Dr. Urger.
"You'll never defeat me"
"That's what you said the last 2,534,974 times that we met, 'You'll never defeat
me' 'you'll never defeat me,' give it a rest"
"Well what about the excruciating, unnecessarily long fight sequence"
"Oh alright if we must"
And with that the fight was on. Bam, Zip, Pow, Doohickey, Son-of-a, adenoid,
Hydroxide, Quiver, Shamalamadingdong, and Kevorkian. With that the fight was over.
(Actually it was over after Doohickey I just wanted it to look longer)
"I'll get you for this" said Dr. Urger while he is going to Britain's finest jail
"Yeah like you tell me every time"
Later at a special ceremony
"For bravery, and saving Britain from the nasty virus called SARS, I dub thee Sir
Cheeseman" said the Queen of England "and Sir Super Kroger Bagger Man"
"Thank you your majesty," said Sir Cheeseman (Thanks for the title)(No prob
glad to do it)
" We saved the world again but how did you cure SARS," said Sir Super Kroger
Bagger Man
"Well you see the cure is quite simple"
WILL DR. URGER EVER GET OUT OF PRISON, WILL CHEESEMAN AND
HIS COLLIGE LET THIS GET TO THEIR HEADS, WILL I EVER SHUT UP LONG
ENOUGH TO HAVE THEM TELL US WHAT THE CURE FOR SARS IS?
"And that is the cure for SARS"
"That's it? I thought that it was going to be more complicated than that"
"No no it was quite simple actually"
"Oh well I guess its back to the good old USA"
"Right after this fine champagne"
"Oh no, we are going to be thrown out of this country as well"
THE END??? (Heck no, How else do you expect me to make a living)
Nana nana nana nana nana nana nana nana CHEESEMAN, Nana nana nana nana
nana nana nana nana CHEESEMAN, CHEESEMAN, CHEESEMAN, BATMAN er I
mean CHEESEMAN.