At first, I didn't know what Angela meant when she told me that my dating Seeley Booth also meant that I was dating Temperance Brennan. I didn't understand that with one came the other. In fact, I was completely oblivious to the fact that they were a working unit, a whole: that without one there was not the other. When the realization finally hit me it was like a ton of bricks; however much each of them would deny it, they both loved each other deeply. Seeley might care for me deeply, and may even love me to some extent, but I would always be second to Dr. Brennan.
Seeley and I were eating out when he got the phone call. You know the one: your having a good time and you don't want to be pulled from the moment so you let it go to voice mail. Then you find out it's the phone call that your grandpa died, your sister had a miscarriage, or your partner is buried somewhere and you need eight million dollars if you ever want to see her again.
I think, although I know he would never admit it, that Seeley blames me. If I had not asked him to let it go to voice mail, he could have talked to the Grave Digger, maybe gotten more information and been able to find her quicker. I knew that with Seeley it was never a matter if Dr. Hodgins made it or not. All that mattered was Dr. Brennan.
At first, I was ok with it. I found it endearing that they were so close, until the next morning, when he got that damned text message and went to the lab. Six. Seven. Sixteen. M one-point-four. It was engrained in my mind: Seeley actually hitting the monitor, yelling at the staff, loosing his cool.
The fact that we even got the message was a miracle. Zach figuring out the number that sent the message was an act of God. I thought Seeley was going to have a heart attack right then and there. He whipped out his cell phone, started making calls, and was heading to his sedan before I even had a chance to ask Zach to double check his findings. Zach, Angela, and I refused to stay in the lab. Seeley was so focused on what he was doing that I don't think he even noticed any of us getting into the car with him. I don't remember much of the drive: only that it was the fastest that I have ever seen a sedan go. We didn't talk on the way up there; we were too scared to say anything.
When we finally did get to that quarry my heart dropped. There was no way that we would find them. There were way too many places they could be. Then I noticed Seeley, he was running down the side of the cliff, eyes focused on a spot we didn't understand. It took us a moment, all of us unsure whether or not we should follow him. We all came to the decision that it was better than doing nothing.
I was out of breath by the time we reached Seeley. He had already pulled out half of Dr. Brennan. I was so shocked by the fact that we were even in the right spot that it was a moment before I realized Dr. Hodgins was still buried. I was only half aware of Dr. Brennan telling Seeley to help dig some for Dr. Hodgins, but I remember his reluctance. I was aware of him going to back to Dr. Brennan the second Dr. Hodgins came out of the ground. I was aware of them laughing together, both out of breath, dirty, and laughing. At the time I didn't understand and couldn't comprehend why there were laughing. I know now it was because the had found each other again, that one was lost without the other.
Seeley was allowed to go with Dr. Brennan in the ambulance, Angela went with Dr. Hodgins, and Zach and I left to take care of the sedan. We were quiet on the way to hospital, not having much to say, still too shocked that we were able to defeat a previously undefeated killer. When we pulled into the parking lot, Zach rested his hand on my arm stopping me from leaving the sedan. He said something then that I didn't understand at the time. He said, "He wouldn't hurt her," Who would hurt Dr. Brennan? I realize now that he meant Seeley, Seeley wouldn't hurt her.
Dr. Brennan was released, Dr. Hodgins left against medical advice, and I went home to contemplate things. I knew that Seeley took Dr. Brennan home. In fact, I can almost bet that he slept on her couch, too afraid that she would be gone again. I heard later that he took her to church with him the next day. Seeley never even offered to take me to church, never mentioned even wanting me to be there. I realize that it was something that he would never have asked me to do.
Sometime later, after Seeley and I were officially over, I found a note on my desk. It was simple and short, and it made me cry. It made me finally understand.
Dear Cam,
I love him, more that I have ever loved someone before. It frightened me at the time; I was so unsure of it. I was so afraid. I have lost everything that I have ever loved, and I didn't want to lose him. Funny how fate works; now its me doing the leaving. Please take care of him when I am gone. Give him the something that I didn't have the chance to. Give him my love.
It has been a privilege to work with you,
Dr. Temperance Brennan