In Lance's defense, this was all Hunk's fault. If Hunk hadn't begged him to stop at that shady naturalist store on the outskirts of town, Lance wouldn't be in this predicament right now, locked up behind bars, with a sore ass, and desperately meowing for attention.

Yup, Lance thought as his ears perked up at the sound of footsteps approaching his kennel. It was all Hunk's (and his very-pregnant wife's) fault he had been transformed into a cat.

...

"Lance, please, bro, I need you to do me a favor, pleeeaase," Hunk's voice sounded desperately through the speaker of Lance's cellphone.

Lance smirked knowingly as he strolled down the late afternoon streets on his way home. In the past eight months there had been only one cause behind the constantly panicked tone his best friend's voice. "Let me guess," Lance sniggered. "This has to do with Shay, doesn't it?"

Immediately, Hunk broke into a rant about Shay and how she had called him at work to ask if he would be so kind as to buy her some of her favorite tea on his way home, and it was okay if he didn't, but she had really been craving some recently, but she didn't want to bother him, and of course Hunk couldn't say no, not when she asked him like that, but he didn't get out of work till 8, and the only store that sold that brand of tea closed at 6 and-

"And you just can't stand to go home empty-handed and disappoint your precious honey boo-boo," Lance broke his friend off mid-rant, voice absolutely mocking Hunk at this point.

"Dude, if you could buy her tea and just drop it off at the shop I will owe you big time. And I'll pay you back, I swear," Hunk pleaded.

"Hmm," Lance pretended to contemplate his decision even though he had already turned to walk in the direction of the store discussed. "You do know that place is like, in the complete opposite side of town?"

"Oh, come on!" Hunk practically cried.

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" Lance laughed at his friend's expense. "You know I got your back, bro." Lance could hear Hunk breath in relief. "And don't worry about paying me back. Just save me one of those strawberry cheesecakes and we'll call it even."

The other line went silent for a few seconds. "…I'm asking for $5 box of assorted herbal tea and you want an entire $30 cheesecake in exchange..."

Lanced shrugged his shoulders as he turned right at the corner. "Sometimes you gotta ask yourself what you're willing to pay for love."

"You get a slice."

"Deal!" Lance agreed with a grin. "Now what kind of tea was it that you wanted?"

...

Lance checked the cursive lettering on the glass door making sure he was at the right place. Yup, this was it. Lance stepped inside, glancing around the small and cramped area for the tea section. For such a tiny store, they sold a wide assortment of items, he thought as he weaved around all the shelves. "When they said 'natural' they sure weren't kidding," Lance muttered as he inspected piles of dried leaves and other… things lying in display.

"Of course. That's one of things we pride ourselves in here in The Balmera," a feminine voice spoke behind him.

Lance jumped in surprise and whirled around to come face to face with a pretty blonde in a crop top, long flowing skirt, and bangles up and down her slender arms. Lance's smile grew positively wicked, and he immediately straightened to his full height. "Why, hello there," Lance practically purred.

The blonde giggled. "Hello," she played along with a small smirk. "Can I help you find anything?"

"Oh, just my heart. I think someone in here just stole it," Lance said, pretending to search the store before his gaze fell back to the girl's face.

The blonde giggled again, hiding her mouth behind her hand, and Lance was beside the moon. Heck, yeah. She was totally into him. "I'm sorry to hear that," the girl said with a smile, a playful twinkle in her eyes. "But I don't think I've seen any thieves lurking around this store."

"No? You sure?" Lance asked, leaning an elbow on top one of the shelves and resting his head against his hand. The girl shook her head. "About yay tall. Pretty. Blonde," Lance listed. Then he lowered his voice and stared purposefully into her eyes. "The most beautiful violet eyes this side of the earth."

The girl pursed her lips, looking down, then glancing back up, fluttering her long lashes. "She must be real lucky to have gotten a hold of your heart," she murmured alluringly.

"How 'bout you and I get out of here, and I'll show you just how lucky we ca-" Lance choked on his words as piercing pain shot through his back.

"Rolo! What are you doing?" the girl gasped. A burning hot sensation started from that point and spread over his entire body. Lance fell to his knees in front of her as he gasped for breath, trying to understand what was happening around him. He clutched at shirt desperately, trying helplessly to claw its suffocating weight off.

"Dammit, Nyma. I leave you alone to run the store for five minutes - five minutes and you jump the first guy you see!" Lance's head fell to the floor, cheek pressed against the cool tile floors as his eyes searched for the owner of the new masculine voice. He saw a pair of boots step up next to his face but he couldn't find enough strength in him to turn his face to see their owner's face.

The girl scoffed, and her skirt ruffled around her. "Oh, please, Rolo. You know I would never cheat on you. Not with someone like him." Lance still had the presence of mind to feel indignation, though he couldn't find his voice to shout it out. "It was just some harmless flirting."

"That's what you say all the time."

Lance curled up into a ball, feeling smaller and smaller as the voices sounded farther and farther away.

"And I mean it. All the time," the girl said in exasperation. "You know I would never betray you like that. We've been through so much together."

Finally, the unbearable heat started to lessen to a comfortable warmth, and Lance felt like he could breathe again. He puffed heavily as he attempted to catch his breath. He tried to sit up, but his limbs still felt weird.

The man sighed. "You're right. I just… overreacted."

"Again."

The man laughed lightheartedly. "What can I say? You make me crazy."

The girl giggled, and Lance tried not to think about the stupid noises they were making at each other above him. He tried to stand up again, but when he did, he just fell back down to all fours. He glanced down at himself and blinked in confusion. What the…

"So what are we gonna do with this guy now?" the man asked, and before Lance could finish processing what was going on, he felt two hands wrap around his stomach. Next thing he knew, he was being lifted straight up into the air and was being cradled in the arms of the blonde girl.

Holy shit. She looked way bigger than what Lance remembered.

"I actually think he looks cuter now than he did before," the girl reached a hand down and scratched Lance behind his ears. He tried to push away from her as hard as he could with his furry hands.

Oh my god. This wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. Lance lifted his hands – his paws – up to his face and stared in terror.

"He still looks pretty mangy to me," the man pulled Lance out of the girl's arms by the scruff of his neck and turned a still shell-shocked Lance to look at him.

"Why a cat?" the girl asked also inspecting Lance like he was a curiosity. "Last guy you at least turned him into something useful."

The man shrugged nonchalantly. "Don't know. Just the first spell that came to mind…" He seemed to pause in contemplation. "Do you want to keep him?" he asked turning to look at the girl.

Oh hell no. At those words, Lance's survival instincts finally kicked in. With a wail, (oh god, did that sound really come out of his mouth?) he lashed his claws out at the man's face who immediately dropped him as he clutched at his face.

"Son of a bitch!"

Lance fell to the floor with a thud, and he didn't even take the time to be amazed at the fact that he actually landed on all four before he dashed madly towards the door, his claws scraping against the floor as he made a run for it. However, when the glass door came into view, Lance's heart nearly fell out of his chest in fear. But then, as if God had been looking out for him, the door was pushed open, the little chimes signaling another customer's entrance, and Lance barely managed to avoid crashing into the pair of feet, weaving around and flying through the door before it shut on his tail.

He let his momentum carry him onto the streets, and he quickly scrambled back onto the sidewalk as a car drove past. Santa madre de Dios! His heart was thudding dangerously in his chest, and Lance wasn't thinking about anything other than getting away from the psychos in that store as he ran as far as his new kitty feet could carry him.