Summary: A look into a young girl's eyes. She has fallen in love with a certain thread wielder, but he did not love her. He loved someone else. This is my first GetBackers fanfic so please be gentle.

Disclaimer: I do not own GetBackers… I wish I did… especially Kazuki-kun!!!

Tears That Would've Not Been Shed

By hrsapphire

Why him? That was the question I have been pondering on for the passed three weeks. Ever since I was kidnapped three weeks ago, I have been thinking of him. Wondering of whom I was talking about? He is Kazuki of the Threads, one of the Four Gods of Infinite Castle.

Of all the guys that I had to fall in love with, it had to be the one who looked like a girl. And the one who had a girlfriend! She was that tomboyish girl who was always with him. I wouldn't blame him. She was the first friend I ever made. The first real friend I ever made. Being the daughter of Mori Tanaka, the richest businessman in Japan didn't do me good in the friendship department. All the 'friends' I ever made were those money-grabbing bitches and jerks.

Ren was different. I wouldn't wonder how Kazuki fell in love with her in the first place. She was sweet and kind. She's also loving. She always has that smile that tells you that everything's alright. She has those eyes that you can get lost into. She has those red lips as if they were blood spilling from her mouth. She had that glow that makes any day a sunny one. She was perfect. She was everything I'm not.

Let me tell you something about myself. I'm Keira Tanaka, Kei for short. I'm bitter and cruel. I'm cold. I don't smile. If ever I do smile, it would look like an evil grin. I have the iciest cold blue eyes that could freeze any heart I could lay my eyes on. I have pale lips as if I were dead. My skin didn't have the glow that Ren had that Kazuki fell in love with and loved so much. Nothing! Zip!

I'm just another mission for Kazuki. Yup, Kazuki's my bodyguard. Wondering how I met Ren? Well, let's just say that my father did Kazuki a favor because he saved me the last time I was about to be raped and robbed at the same time. It was the end of the day and I was on my way back home from school. As I was walking my usual route, a group of thugs working for my father's rival came and cornered me. At first they tried to kidnap me but I fought back. I was a bit lucky that my father hired a trainer for me. But that time was not a good time.

Because of my flash of bravery, they switched the plan from kidnap to rape and robbery. That got my heart thumping hard in my chest. I knew I was in trouble. Even though I did have some training of some martial arts, my fear got the best of me and I couldn't move. Luckily, there were unusual threads hanging from everywhere that shielded me from whatever those thugs were planning. That's when Kazuki came in.

He used his threads to shield me from whoever came close to me. It tore their skins and shirts when they tried everything to break the threads that Kazuki made. I remember the words he said that fateful day. "Don't you think one girl against six thugs is a fair fight?" That's what got those thugs angry. They thought he was a girl. Damn! I thought he was a girl!

Anyway, that's the whole story of me meeting him. What about the favor? Well, instead of rewarding Kazuki twenty five million yen, he offered him to be my personal bodyguard and a place to stay. It just so happened that Ren was with him that time. So, they stayed at the mansion until now. Remember my fake friends, well, now Ren's my bestfriend. It's just weird though. I'm in love with Kazuki; Kazuki's in love with Ren; and Ren's my bestfriends. Pretty ironic huh?

Well, it's for the best. I mean, Kazuki's happy with Ren. I can't deny him that. And I can see it in his eyes that whenever Ren's around, his eyes would flicker with love for the girl. I know because I never see that when he's with me. He's always this different person when he's with me. As if he was the Grim Reaper. He never showed any form of emotions when he's with me. He never talks when he's with me. But when Ren comes and stays with us, he becomes another different person. It was as if the grim reaper was never there. He'd change into this little playful boy that doesn't have any cares or worries. Maybe that's Ren's charisma. I never had it.

I'm happy for them even though it hurts seeing them so happy in each other's arms and laughing with each other. I always think of scenarios when I would have that same scene playing before me with me in someone else's arms, laughing with him. I never thought I'd fall in love with the grim reaper. Come to think of it, how did I fall in love with him? I never had this sense of jealousy when Ren and Kazuki were together. It's either that or I just ignored it like I ignored the feeling that grew within me concerning the striking thread wielder. Let me take you back to when I was kidnapped without Kazuki, Ren, my father or anyone knowing.

It was during the late afternoon that Kazuki and I had a talk, I slapped him and walked out on him. It was then that I decided to tell him the feelings that I had for him. Unfortunately, he didn't reciprocate it. I asked questions like 'why didn't he feel the same way', 'what was I supposed to do for him to like me too' or 'what was it in Ren that I didn't have'. That's when he started to talk. He didn't answer the first two questions. What hit me hard was his answer to the last question. It was a wrong move to ask that question. His replay went something like this:

"What?! What is it in Ren that you don't have?! Everything! You're cold. You don't communicate much in crowds. That's what I noticed. And you don't even smile. Smiling is a way that tells people that you have some connection, Kei. That's what makes me reluctant to talk to you. Please do something about it. Sometimes, I don't know you and when Ren talks about you I always think of a different person. You act differently on certain people. I'm guessing you take after your father who just depends on his money for attention."

That was harsh! That's also the part where I slapped him and walked out on him. He thought I was just someone that paid anyone to talk to me. How low could he get?! I cried and cried, running to who knows where and bumped into some guy. I looked up and saw the same guy or thug as I have respectfully put into a while ago. This got my heart pounding again. Another thug had placed something over my nose and mouth that made everything around me dark. That's when I blacked out.

When I woke up, I found myself tied to a bed in a totally different place. I struggled to get free but the knots that restricted me from doing so were tight. I relaxed and tried to regain my strength. I lay still on the bed and closed my eyes. I thought of what happened before I blacked out. Instead of remembering who kidnapped me, the memories of me slapping Kazuki and crying before him flooded my mind. My eyes filled with tears again and thought that it was over. He'd tell Ren. Ren would not consider me as her friend and I'll be alone again with fake friends as before. They'd get out of the house and leave me here to be raped and killed. The thought of it scared me so much and that was the time I wished that Kazuki was there to help me.

Although I knew that he wouldn't I still wished that he was there, and so was Ren. As time passed, I still thought about Kazuki and Ren. I thought about how good they were to me, well how Ren was. I thought about how good they looked together. I knew that I loved Kazuki but the thoughts of them together and him being happy in her arms tugged at my heart. I knew I shouldn't break the relationship they had. I was going to be the one that was going to break them apart. I didn't want them to break apart, but I loved Kazuki.

It was that time that I decided to let Kazuki go. Although it hurt, I had to. Kazuki and Ren eventually got me away from my kidnappers and would be rapists and murderers. Now, I watch them, sitting hand in hand under my favorite tree. The Sakura Tree. My Sakura Tree. Kazuki had never told Ren about my confession. He told me that it was between him and me. I also told him that I decided to let him go when I was still in captivity. He just smiled. I knew then that it was the decision he wanted me to realize and make.

Ever since that day, I cried and cried at my loss that I could never have him. He was the only thing that I want that I never got. My father found out about it and insisted that Kazuki marry me! He had already made the preparations and everything. It was fortunate though that the invitations weren't sent yet. It was that time that I stood up for myself and asked my father not to intervene with my life. Ever since then, he always asked me for my opinion.

Now, I'm still staring at them, happy and in love. A smile had crept up to my lips but fell again as a tear fell with it. My heart still broke at the sight of that scene. A scene wherein Kazuki held Ren's hand in his as he slipped a silver band on her ring finger. He finally asked her to marry him and she accepted. I knew it was possible that they were getting married. I knew that my dream of being with Kazuki would always be a dream and remain a dream. I just wish that I could live in that dream and be with him. I just wish I could… if only I could. Then these tears would have never been shed in the first place.

Owari

Author's Rambles: GOD!!! I almost cried my heart out on this one. I know it's kind of weird when you read it. But the plot in my head got me so worked up in cramming everything here that I shed some tears that threatened to come out, and they did. Sorry for some scenes that just popped out of nowhere… Please comment on this. I really need the comment, be it bad or good… Thanks!