I DO NOT OWN THE TWILIGHT SAGA

I sit in a room with the O Mighty Alpha and Quil. They're just sitting there admiring their imprints. "All child prededors! Oops! I mean Jakey and Qwil," I say in Renesmee and Claire's voices. Quil and Jake glare at me but I just smile. "Edward wants Nessie back home early so they can play baseball and Emily wants to make sure Claire gets to bed on time."

All four of them get up to leave, as they leave I hear "Bye, Aunt Leah!" from Nessie and Claire.

"Bye, you two," I say back "Jacob William Black and Quil Daniel Altera! No goodbyes?" I yell to them. They both come running back at me and stop on each side of me, towering over me. They both bend down and give me a peck on my cheeks, then they run back to their cars as I yell "Not that kind of goodbye, Weirdos. Ewwww! Jake, yours was wet!" They both laugh and hop into their cars with their imprints.

I shut the front door to Jacob's house while wiping off my cheeks. I sit down on the couch and put The Hunger Games into the DVD player. As the movie is playing I really dont pay attention to it because my mind wanders. I start to think about what my life would be like if I imprinted. I would probably be happy and not so pissy all the time. The pack wouldnt think of me as Sam's crappy ex-girlfiend. And to top all that, I would have a wonderful person that loves me and I would love them back.

But all of that would never happen because I am a genetic dead end. The first time I established this was the second night I was with Jacob and his crappy little renegade pack. Jake and I had just got done eating some deer in our wolf forms...

(Leah = italics, Jacob = Bold)

Thanks, that wasn't so bad, thinking your way.

You're welcome.

You headed back to the bloodsuckers? I asked

Maybe.

It's hard for you to be there, but hard to stay away, too. I know how that feels.

You know, Leah, you might want to think a little bit about the future, about what you really want to do. My head is not going to be the happiest place on earth. And you'll have to suffer right along with me.

I thought about how to answer him. Wow, this going to sound bad. But, honestly, it will be easier to deal with your pain than face mine.

Fair enough.

I know it's going to be bad for you, Jacob. I understand that- maybe better than you think. I don't like her, but . . . she's your Sam. She's everything you want and everything you can't have.

He couldn't answer.

I know it's worse for you. At least Sam is happy. At least he's alive and well. I love him enough that I want that. I want him to have what's best for him. I sighed. I just dont want to stick around to watch.

Do we need to talk about this?

I think we do. Because I want you to know that I won't make it worse for you. Hell, maybe I'll even help. I wasnt't born compassionless shrew. I used to be sort of nice, you know.

My memory doesn't go that far back.

We both laughed once.

I'm sorry about this, Jacob. I'm sorry you're in pain. I'm sorry it's getting worse and not better.

Thanks, Leah

You know what's crazy? I asked

Well, almost everything is crazy right now. But what do you mean?

That blond vampire you hate so much- I totally get her perspective.

He didnt like that thought!

Hold up! Let me explain!

Don't want to hear it. I'm outta here.

Wait! Wait! I pleaded C'mon, Jake!

Leah, this isn't really the best way to convince me that I want to spend more time with you in the future.

Yeesh! What an overreaction. You don't even know what I'm talking about.

So what are you talking about?

I'm talking about being a genetic dead end, Jacob.

I don't understand.

You would, if you weren't just like the rest of them. If my "female stuff" didn't send you running for cover just like any stupid male, so you could actually pay attention to what it all means.

Oh.

You know why Sam thinks we imprint?

Sure. To carry on the line.

Right. To make a bunch of new little werewolves. Survival of the species, genetic override. You're drawn to the person who gives you the best chance to pass on the wolf gene. If I was any good at that, Sam would have been drawn to me. But I'm not. There's something wrong with me. I don't have the ability to pass on the gene, apparently, despite my stellar bloodlines. So I become a freak- the girlie wolf- good for nothing else. I'm a genetic dead end and we both know it.

We do not. That's just Sam's theory. Imprinting happens, but we don't know why. Billy thinks it's something else.

I know, I know. He thinks you're imprinting to make stronger wolves. Because you ans Sam are such humongous monsters- bigger than our fathers. But either way, I'm still not a candidate. I'm . . . I'm menopausal. I'm twenty years old and I'm menopausal.

You don't know that, Leah. It's probably just the whole frozen-in-time thing. When you quit your wolf and start getting older again, I'm sure things will . . . er . . . pick right back up.

I might think that- except that no one's imprinting on me, notwithstanding my impressive pedigree. You know, if you weren't around, Seth would probably have the best claim to being Alpha- through his blood, at least. Of course, no one would ever consider me . . .

You really want to imprint, or be imprinted on, or whichever? What's wrong with going out and falling in love like a normal person, Leah? Imprinting is just another way of getting your choices taken away from you.

Sam, Jared, Paul, Quil . . . they don't seem to mind.

None of them have a mind of their own.

You don't want to imprint?

Hell, no!

That's just because you're already in love with her. That would go away, you know, If you imprint. You wouldn't have to hurt over her anymore.

Do you want to forget the way you feel about Sam?

I think I do. But back to my original point, Jacob. I understand why your blond vampire is so cold- in the figurative sense. She's focused. She's got her eyes on the prize, right? Because you always want the very most what you can never, ever have.

You would act like Rosalie? You would murder someone- because that's what she's doing, making sure no one interferes with Bella's death- you would do that to have a baby? Since when are you a breeder?

I just want the options I don't have, Jacob. Maybe, if there was nothing wrong with me, I would never give it a thought.

You would kill for that?

That's not what she's doing. I think it's more like she's living vicariously. And . . . if Bella asked me to help her with this . . . Even though I don't think too much of her, I'd probably do the same as the bloodsucker. Because, if it was turned around, I'd want Bella to do that for me. And so would Rosalie. We'd both do it her way.

Ugh! You're as bad as they are!

That's the funny thing about knowing you can't have something. It makes you desperate.

And . . . that's my limit. Right there. This conversation is over.

Fine.

Then he phased back.