(fore notes: I am totally, completely, and utterly sorry for abandoning you guys for so longs. You readers have been nothing but kind to me, and I keep disappearing for months at a time. I hope you will lend me the kindness deep, down in your hearts, and find the will to forgive me for neglecting you so. I'm not going to waste any more of your time with excuses, so here is my "apology")
No Apologies
If you asked Naruto, he would have told you that the night was a complete waste. Not once had Sasuke danced with him, not that this really bothered him at the moment. Sasuke was in one of his antisocial moods and Naruto knew that, guessing the raven haired boy knew what was coming and was, in his own way, trying to cope and prepare himself for what was going to happen. Not that Naruto could really blame him for it; he had done the same, only in private, slowly getting himself ready for this one final moment. All the nights he had cried and tried to figure things out , Gaara had been there, gently rubbing his back and whispering soothing words in his ear, comforting him in a way only he could, and certainly noting like his prick boyfriend could ever manage to muster while they were together.
But, judging by his actions as of late, he did have emotions, and, maybe, before the night was over, he could love or at the very least feel sympathy for someone, anyone, other than himself. Naruto couldn't help but feel a certain bond, a longing for things to remain the same, as he went up to request a song again, hoping this time the d.j. would actually play it, as thoughts of the few good and intimate times they had spent together raced around his mind. He shook his head, catching those thoughts and drowning them in piles of darker, twisted memories that were more common between them. He had to focus on such thoughts in order to keep from crying, but all the pain it brought back and the fact that it had happened to him, to them, made the tears well up just as much.
He tried focusing his attention on the task at hand, trying to remember what he and Gaara ha decided on saying, they had gone over every last detail, practicing and re-practicing everything until it was burned into both of their brains. And now the time was here, and he could barely remember any of their preparations. At long last, the d.j. finally decided to play his song. He looked longingly at the older boy. "Please, teme, just one last song? The dance is almost over."
Sasuke sighed, almost as if defeated. He knew Naruto wasn't just talking about the dance. It was the one last thing that would be theirs. He knew it from the choice of song Naruto had picked. He couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with sadness. He thought back on their relationship while he let the blond drag him out onto the dance floor one last time. Naruto had always been his guiding light, his diary he could confide in, something he could use whenever he needed or wanted. Somehow he had thought the blond would always be there for him. He suddenly regretted all the wrongs he had done on to the poor boy, if only for his peace of mind. Looking back on it now, he was actually surprised this hadn't happened sooner, but was glad it didn't just the same. He didn't want to let him go.
Naruto felt Sasuke's arms slide along his sides and rest at his lower back, something that had once made Naruto felt skinny and sexy, but now repulsed him. He wanted to pull away and punch the teme for even considering doing that. He was afraid it would make him turn back. He placed his hands in back of Sasuke's neck and laced his fingers, trying for as lest skin contact as possible, but couldn't help resting his head against the taller boy's shoulder, deeply drinking in his scent, pat of him disgusted by it, but another, much smaller part of him found something familiar and secure in it. He felt the older boy bury his head in his hair.
Holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground.
This song meant so much to both of them, re-opening old scars, but, in a way, allowing them to heal. As if thrusting them out into the open, showing them for all the world to see and examine was the best method of recovery.
It's too late to apologize, it's too late.
"Sasuke…"
"I know. Please, just a little longer."
"But, Sasuke…I can't….If I don't do it now, I never will. Please…" he chocked back a sob, "Don't make this harder than it already is." He could feel wet droplets in his hair.
Sasuke let him go, and, though Naruto couldn't see it, he knew the boy was crying.
He left without another word, before the song was over, the chorus playing as he stepped out of the school cafeteria and into the cool night air, a chilly breeze nipping at his tear stained cheeks. He wandered through the parking lot until he found Gaara in his truck and quickly climbed inside.
"You alright?" asked the red head, worried, laying a comforting hand on the younger boy's arm.
"Yeah." Naruto said, giving the boy a weak smile, "I'll be fine." He wiped away the teas with the palm of his hand. "Thank you, Gaara."
The older boy smiled softly, pulling out of the parking lot, "That's what I'm here for."
Owari
(a/n: Doreen, if by some chance you're reading this, this story is for you. This is for you and all of the hurt you've cause me over these past three years. I hope you do read this, and I hope that you know that you're no Gaara in my life. That title goes to the TRUE friends of mine that helped me through everything, though not once did they see me cry. I'm not trying to say that what we've been through meant absolutely nothing to me, but what you continue to do to me is to much for me to handle any longer. I hope that you can change and take what you've learned from our relationship and turn yourself around, and I hope you can find someone else who can help you as much as I have, and that you don't use and abuse them like you did me.
To the rest of my readers, sorry you had to read that last tidbit, but if I didn't say it now and get it out, I would have kept it boiling and bubbling inside of me until it turned me into something ugly, something I don't want to become. I promise to you that I will update more enjoyable, fluffy stories in the near future, and thank you for putting up with this emo crud….if you might find the time and kindness to review, it would make me very happy. And just as a side note: I AM NOT LOOKING FOR PITY. I only put that up so I could actually say it because I'm too much of a coward to say it in person. So please nothing that says "oh, poor you" or anything of the sort unless you truly mean it. I'll stop wasting your time now.
Unitl next time,
Kyobu)
