A/N This is rated T to be safe, there's is some language and a slightly dark theme towards the end, it's not that bad but I didn't want to take a chance. Just like the other stories, this was written with my sister's help. There's also small amount of WolfStar, just so you know. Whoops, almost forgot, this is not a song fic. but it does contain some of the lyrics from Nelly Furtados' "Man Eater". Okay, think I'm good now.
An Ode to Sirius Black: Remus Lupin: (Master Moony, Late fourth year)
"Bloody Hell!" Those were the only suitable words that came to mind and slipped out of my mouth as I walked past Peter and stared at the writing on the wall. For the first time in my life I felt furious at one, MR. JAMES POTTER. Peter had frozen in the doorway the second the words escaped my lips. I could imagine what the poor kid was thinking. Knowing Peter, he was thinking something of the lines of me transforming there and then into a werewolf and eating him. Though I have to admit, as I glanced back at the writing on the boy's laboratory wall, I did have the wish to change right that instant and go and rip James to shreds. But, alas, I have no control or choice of my lycanthropic tendencies. I also couldn't imagine hurting Peter who was just the innocent messenger. "Don't kill the messenger," they always say. "It's not his fault he happened to stumble upon this before I did," I thought as I found myself re-reading "An Ode to Sirius Black"-by Remus Lupin. I knew that I had never written such a bad piece of rubbish in my life and when I read the line "His eyes glimmer like a shiny golden snitch on a bright Summer's day and are as breathtaking as that big bright shiny thing in the sky," I knew at once who had been the responsible party.
Thinking back I should have guessed something like this was coming. After all, wasn't it me that told James, after one particularly dangerous stunt he pulled at a Quidditch match, that he was a stupid prat. I had to add in that it would be a cold day in Hell before Lily Evans would be impressed by such a foul stunt that could have gotten him killed. I knew that I should have held my tongue but James had scared all of us and did it all for what? Just to impress some girl who had been desperately trying to forget his existence what so ever.
Even if I did anger him a little James still had no right to confess something as personal as my crush on Sirius Black. As if I wasn't different enough, I had to be attracted to another boy and James had crossed the line when he exposed that. True, he could have gone lower and exposed my other secret, but at least that one would be a bit less humiliating.
All I could do is stare. I found myself praying that I would find a way to wash off the writing, which, knowing James, wouldn't be easy, before Sirius saw it.
"PETER!" I turned around to face my nervous friend. I thought he was going to faint.
"Ye-e-s, Master Lupin" then the boy did faint before I could ask him to get the supplies from Flinch's' supply closet.
Frustrated, I ran around the limp boy in the doorway and rushed down the hall. I quickly scrambled through the closet, which to my favor was only a few feet from the laboratory. I found some foul liquid that looked like it would work. I ran back and found Peter sitting on the floor. I stepped around him and started hardily scrubbing at the poem.
"Re-Re," Peter started to mumble.
I glared at him angrily and saw the boy swallow hard. "What do you want?" I growled, I knew he wasn't responsible but I was in a foul mood and knew it would be only a matter of minutes before Sirius would make his way to this very bathroom. He was very habitual hair groomer and self-admirer. For some reason, this was the one thing, Sirius was never late for.
"Um," Peter stumbled.
"Spit it out PETER!" I growled loudly at him. The second the words came out I felt bad. "Sorry Peter," poor Peter looked as if he was going to cry.
"I," Peter moped and apparently unable to say anything else, he held up his wand.
I just stared at him for a second. I had been so caught up in my anger that not once had I thought of using magic and Peter, of all people, had pointed this out to me. I didn't know what to say to him. I only turned to the wall and pulled out my wand. With a flick of my wrist, I said the proper spell, loud and clear and watched the writing disappear before my eyes. After I was sure it wasn't going to reappear I walked over to Peter and held out my hand to help him up. He was reluctant at first to take it and I couldn't blame him. After I helped him to his feet, I patted him on the back and smiled "Thanks Pete!" We walked awkwardly out of the room. "Just in time," I thought as I glanced down the hall and saw Sirius strutting his way to his usual spot at one o'clock p.m. on the dot.
I began to head back to the dormitory and Peter took off in the opposite direction, probably to replay the event to James. Pete's nice enough but he's kind of James' puppet.
"Hey, Remus!" I heard Sirius yell as I passed him in the hallway. "Remus!" he said again and I ignored him. It was revenge time and I didn't have time to chitchat with anyone, especially Sirius.
Once I was in the dormitory I went straight to James' trunk. It was there I vigorously started my search for the one object that could bring me success in my sweet, sweet revenge. It was only I who knew that James, the proud James Potter, kept a dream diary. I remember the day I found out about this little precious item that I held in my hands. I remember the conversation clearly.
"Remus!" James shouted loudly and I ignored him and rolled over to my other side. That worked until, smack!, I was hit by James' pillow.
"Okay," I looked up at James who was sitting cross-legged on his bunk. "You have my attention. What do you want?" I asked, annoyed that he interrupted a nice dream of Sirius and I snogging.
"You promise not to tell Sirius something if I tell you?" he asked, concern clear in his voice.
That got my attention. Sirius was James' best friend. I couldn't imagine there would be something he would not be able to tell Sirius. "Why wouldn't you want to tell him?" I asked curiously.
"Never mind go back to sleep then!" he said grumpy.
"Sorry James," I sat up in my bunk. "What's got you bothered?"
James came over to my bed and sat down next to me. I looked at him and noticed his hands were shaking. "The dreams," James stared up at me. For the first time I saw a more real version of James Potter, an almost humble version.
"That bad?" I questioned with concern.
"Ah heck Remus," James turned away and stared out into the dark room. "You're not going to hug me and tell me everything is going to be alright, are you?, cause you've got that damn look in your eyes. The I'm Remus Lupin, I'm sensitive to human emotion and all that other bloody crap look. They're just dreams."
"Fine James," I murmured tiredly. "If they're just dreams then why did you wake me up?"
James turned back towards me and ran a hand through his massively thick, uncontrolled hair, "Cause you were making kissing noises in your sleep and I felt threatened. Thought maybe you would sleep walk over to me and start snogging me like some love struck fool." He laughed and stood up, ready to go back to his own bed.
"You're full of it James," I threw his pillow back at him and hit him hard in the head. I laid back down and secretly wondered if I had made noises in my sleep. "Write them down if they bother you," I said when I laid my head back on my pillow.
"Write what down?" He asked in a half awake voice from his bed.
"You're dreams," I mumbled as I tried to reconquer the image I had earlier.
"Like a diary Remus?" he sounded more awake.
"Yes, James" I answered as I felt my eyes grow really heavy. "Like a dream diary."
"Thanks pal," James said as he snapped on the blinding light and started digging through his trunk. "Remus?"
I heard a loud snore coming from Peters' bed, "That boy can sleep through anything." I thought. "Huh?" I managed to say.
"Sirius," James paused. "Well, he'd never let me live down having a diary. So…" "
I wont tell.." I had passed out shortly after. I couldn't help it. It must have been close to three am. I guessed the time, cause it's about 2:30 am exactly that Sirius always gets up to do some pre-morning admiring and grooming, he returns around 3:00 am to go back to bed and right before I closed my eyes I heard the bathroom door open.
I asked him once why he does this. He swears he doesn't. My guess is he sleep grooms and to top it off he does it ever night, ON TIME! "Even his subconscious is that vain!"
Anyways, James had kept this diary persistently since then. And I know somewhere in here has to be a useable idea. My first thought was simply exposing him to Sirius and let nature take its course. But somehow, that didn't seem good enough. It would never top any of the all time great stunts done by the Master James Potter.
"What are you doing?" Sirius' question startled me.
"Plotting revenge," I responded as I began to flip through the pages.
"Revenge?" Sirius smiled his million-dollar smile. "Would that be for; "The Ode to Sirius Black" written by one Mr. Remus Lupin, but really written by one Mr. James Potter?"
I froze; I tried to register what he had just said. "You," I swallowed hard and couldn't bear to even look up at him. "You read the poem."
Sirius laughed, "Yeah," he patted me on the back. "You do realize I occasionally have to use the laboratory for other reasons besides grooming?" he smirked. "Don't sweat it though Remus. The second I read the words "when he leaves the room I suddenly feel empty, it's like being whacked by a stray bludger and falling off my broom from a hundred feet up in the air." I knew it was James that wrote the poem." he looked thoughtful for a moment. " Kind of made me wonder why he picked me though." he paused, looking at me curiously.
I looked up at him then. There was something weird in his pause.
"Got any ideas Remus?" Sirius asked.
That moment, I could have sworn I saw a bit of longing in his eyes, as if Sirius was hoping that there was a bit of truth in the poem. "Nah," I thought to myself. "Must just be my imagination."
"I mean why would James target me?," he continued "unless he had reason to believe you like me."
I looked away from him. I really couldn't admit that I did like him.
"Okay, we'll talk later." Sirius sat down next to me. "Now tell me about what you're planning on doing to get back at James, because truth or not, I think you're right to get back at him." he gave me a small smile. "He crossed a line and I'm more than happy to help." He looked at the book in my hands curiously. "Hey, what is that?" Sirius pulled the diary away from me before I could answer. "You're joking me right?," he started laughing heartedly as he flipped through the pages. "These are dreams, James keeps a dream diary! Oh he's not going to hear the end of this!"
I quickly snatched the book back. "You can't tell him you know!" I snapped.
Sirius gave me a curious glare. "Why would that be?"
"Because," I replied "if he knows you know about the diary he won't fall for the idea of his nightmare really coming true."
Sirius' face held a cat-like grin. "I'm liking where this is heading. Tell me Remus, old pal, what do you have in mind?"
I quickly paged through the book and found what I was looking for. "This!" I handed him the book.
Sirius read the passage marked "Vampiress, Lily Evans, She's a Man eater!" He smiled. "Bloody Brilliant Remus!" We got up together. Silently we walked to find Peter. My revenge was on the way, I just had to get everyone to agree to pull it off.
The boys were eager to help me out. Sirius and Peter are always in for a good prank. I thought for sure I'd have trouble getting Lily to join. All I did was tell her what happened and for some reason, she was more than eager to join in. I'm not quite sure how I managed to convince her to dress up like a vampiress, wearing a red peasant dress with long flowing sleeves, that touched the floor, and vampire fangs, but I did. And so the master plan was in motion.
I sought out James once everything was ready. I had to convince him that I was fine about the prank. After some smooth talking he believed every word I said and just to top things off nicely I even said that I knew I had deserved it. I went as far as apologizing for my comments that led him to be angry with me. Then, I told him that Sirius, Peter and I were going to get together at 7:00 pm in the common room to play a game and had asked him to join. James has a very competitive nature so I knew that he wouldn't be late. It was already 6:30 pm and that would give me plenty of time to get back upstairs and get myself ready. I said good-bye and left him alone.
I wish I had a camera to take a picture of James' priceless horror-struck face as his nightmare came true.
With help from my friends and Lily, I had managed to reconstruct the Gryffindor common room to something right out of James' dream. It was black and empty. All the furniture seemed to be removed, thanks to a simple charm I placed on the room, all that was left was the lit fireplace, a coffin and us three guys. We all wore black pants and black long-sleeved tee shirts and shades. We stood back to back forming a bit of a triangle. When James entered the room we started snapping our fingers and whistling an eerie tune. James looked around and immediately recognized the scene. I had purposely picked a more recent dream for that very reason.
"What's going on here?" James asked as he began to approach us. We pretended not to hear what he was saying and just kept on snapping in tune. "Okay, Remus," He looked towards me, "Ha, Ha, very funny, I get what you're doing here." Neither one of us backed down. "Come on guys don't pretend like I'm not here," he started to sound a bit desperate. Once again, we stood our ground, never missing a single beat. "Guys! Guys?" This time I knew he finally was starting to scare because he seemed a bit frantic. He started walking faster towards us. Once he reached the center of the room he stopped as a single spot light turned on and focused the coffin, I had my friends from muggle studies construct. James's mouth dropped wide open when Lily slowly opened the lid and elegantly started standing up.
Lily practically floated, thanks to another little spell I learned, over to James, slid her hand down his cheek and whispered loudly in a very hypnotic voice. "It's time James," I tried to hide my smirk as I saw James tremble a bit from Lily's touch. The Ice spell on Lily's hands had probably been a bit alarming to him.
Good old, Cocky James tried to straighten up his appearance and voice. "Guys, Guys.." he looked a little pleadingly at us, "this is a joke right?" Not one of us dropped character. "Time for wha-t Lily?" he still attempted to mask the fright in his voice. But all of us could tell, by the crack in his voice, that James was starting to break.
"Time for you to learn my secret James," Lily stroked his face again. She added to the effect by lingering her hand a little on his cheek as if he was about to become her pet or her lunch, I held back a snicker.
"What's that Lil…" he cleared his throat as he watched Lily circle him and lick her lips. "No, no..." James waved his hands and slowly backed up. "I don't think I want to know."
On cue, as he started to back up Sirius mumbled a spell and pointed his wand towards James' feet. Poor James had been so distracted by one Miss, not so innocent, Lily Evans, he didn't even notice what had hit him.
James was speechless. He stared back and forth from Lily to his feet. James may have not known fear doing that dumb stunt the other morning, but FEAR was all over James' face now and in his eyes too.
Lily floated towards James slowly and gestured towards us. She snickered, "Now, now, James, you know it's rude to try to leave in the middle of a meal."
I don't think there was a person in the room who didn't hear James gulp. "I," he took in a deep breath of air, "didn't think we were going to be eating a meal."
Lily laughed, then got so close to James I could almost see her breath on him, "Who," she said, then added a dramatic pause, "said anything about we?" Then she pushed James to his knees and held him there with a hand on each shoulder.
After she said that, one at a time Peter, Sirius, and I walked towards James and started circling him and Lily chanting:
"Man eater, make you work hard
Make you want all, of her love
She's a man-eater
make you cut cords
make you fall, real hard in love
Wish you never ever met her at all!"
James made another loud gulping sound then and I chuckled silently to myself. We continued to circle James and Lily and slowly one at a time let our shades lower down. All the rest of James' color faded out of his face as he looked at our Blood Red eyes, (thanks to a spell Lily knew). I have never seen the bold, the proud, the cocky, the brave and mighty, James Potter, tremble so much in all the years I knew him. I thought he was going to die when we then all smiled and showed our fangs.
James simply looked pleadingly from one face of his friends to the other, almost looking for mercy and finding none. I couldn't be sure but I thought I saw a glimpse of a tear in his eye as he slowly focused back to the woman he vowed would be his some day, Miss Lily Evans.
Lily, praise be to Lily, she never once dropped her character. If I didn't know better, I could have sworn she even was enjoying every moment of the whole thing. One last pleading look came from James to Lily as she showed her fangs, pushed him closer to the floor and lowered her head as if she was going to suck blood from his neck. She froze herself in that place while we once again chanted:
"Man eater, Wish you never ever met her at all!"
Lily then bent in closer and I could actually see James' body shake in fear. She paused so close to him that I'm sure James could feel her breath on his neck. Lily didn't need to do anything more because as we circled James, all of us heard a clunk.
I made the lights come on because brave, proud, I can face anything, James Potter, had fainted. We all started to laugh and I made the furniture reappear and helped the guys get James to the couch. We all quickly changed back into our normal robes and then Lily got out her smelling salts and woke James.
"I," he mumbled.
"You what James?" I asked as I winked at the others, who were all sitting around the table pretending to be playing a game.
"I, what happened?" James asked looking at us very confused.
"You," Sirius answered. "Got so excited about winning you jumped up, tripped and whacked your head on the table. Knocked yourself out cold."
"Really," James scratched his head.
"You did," Peter replied.
"That's strange," James said and noticed Lily standing next to the fireplace.
"What's strange?" Lily flashed him a toothy smile with the vampire fangs still in place.
"Bloody Hell," James got off the couch and ran right out of the room.
"That my friends," I said to the gang. "Is sweet revenge." We all burst into laughter. I knew it would be awhile before James would talk to Lily again. I also knew I had to have a talk with Sirius but that could wait for another day. All this pranking had made me tired and I was going to bed.