I look around at everyone having a good time. This celebration is supposed to be for me, not all these Capitol freaks. Not one of the other victors is celebrating with me. Not even my mentors and my escort. I'm all alone in a room full of people. And it fucking sucks. I look down at my hands. The hands that held an axe. The hands that killed several people. The hands no one would hold. Ever. I'm not pretty. I'm nothing a guy would ever want. Even then, Snow asked me to prostitute myself like I was some trashy whore. I'm not going down that idiotic road. I don't want to fuck the very people I hate with all my guts. And what good did that do. My family and everyone I ever cared about is dead now because of my refusal.

No one would understand.

I shake my head and run for the elevator.

I've had it.

I want to end this nightmare I call everyday life.

The elevator dings. I step out to the edge of the balcony. I could do it. Get rid of all my pain and misery.

I look down at the streets. A single tear drops from my eyes and falls to the ground.

No.

I can't do it.

Sighing, I step back and sit on the bench. I've tried to kill myself before and always chicken out. I'm too much of a coward. Besides, I don't want to be a jam stain on the Capitol streets. I don't want to die with them knowing they were the cause of it. I won't give them their sick satisfaction. Fuck them. I'm stronger than they think I am.

Aren't I?

Covering my eyes, I begin to sob. It's not my usual crying. It's more of a cry for help. I'm all alone in this world. Sure, I have Blight, my mentor, but he must've been too drunk to realize when I left I may not have been coming back. Fuck everyone downstairs. They're having the time of their lives down there, and here I am up here… so close to ending it. I feel my mascara running and sigh. Great, now I can't reappear down there or I'd look like someone gave me a pair of black eyes. Not that I wanted to go back down there anyways…

I hear the elevator ding once again.

I jump and instantly refrain from turning around to see who it is. I just remain sitting there. With the best angered voice I could manage between my sniffles, I grumbled, "Leave me alone."

However, I am shocked when the voice that reaches my ears turns out to be someone I didn't even recognize instantly.

"Johanna, are you alright?" A smooth, masculine voice says to me. It awakens some sort of hope in me. Someone cares? Why?

I couldn't fight my curiosity anymore and peeked. I got a glimpse of golden skin, copper-colored hair, and a pair of famous sea green eyes staring at me with concern.

Finnick fucking Odair.

My stomach churned. Why the hell would the Capitol's lapdog be worried about me? He wasn't right? Maybe he got the wrong floor?

"Mason, I'm not here to hurt you." The Victor from 4 said. I hear his feet scraping across the ground and know he's not leaving. I refuse to speak until he's sitting beside me.

"Johanna."

With a sigh, I look up at him. He's wearing a green suit with a black tie. Odd choice of fashion, really. I grumble, "Look, I'm not in the mood, Odair. Just leave me be." My blood is boiling. How dare a man who spends so much time in this shithole try to comfort me?

Finnick shakes his head, "No, I know something's wrong. You should be down there enjoying yourself." His vivid green eyes stare at me, "This is your night, not the Capitol's."

It's incredible how bright his eyes are. They look like emeralds you'd find dangling from fancy jewelry. The emotion he was showing was somewhat sickening. Was it actual concern, or was it just a trap?

"I can't go back down there," I said, crossing my arms. "Everyone's too focused on each other to pay any attention to me."

"Nonsense." He said, scooting closer with a cautioned look about him. "I still don't know what's bothering you." Slowly, he places an arm around the back of the bench, "If it's something Snow did, you can tell me. I hate the Capitol, too."

"We all hate the Capitol, brainless." I say, rolling my eyes. "But, if you must know, yeah, it is something Snow did."

Finnick chuckled, "Your attitude is so great." He raised an eyebrow, "So what did Snow do to you?"

I bite my lip. Do I tell him that, like Finnick, Snow tried to get me to prostitute myself? Would he understand? I doubt he would. I mean, if he's in it for the money and fame, then he would have no idea why I refused.

"He killed my family and friends." I growl, trying to be more angry than I am distressed.

"Why the hell would he do that, Johanna?" Finnick said, shock in his expression and tone.

"Because I refused to whore myself out!" I snapped.

"Figured." His voice now sounds very hurt. "Snow makes me do it. I don't want to." Finnick looks down and shakes his head, "The one time I refused… He sent my best friend, Annie Cresta, into the arena. I thought I'd never see her again."

"Yeah, well at least your loved one is mad, not dead." I say harshly.

Finnick scowled, "It's not the same, Mason. If I would've just went…. She would be alright."

I smirk, "You and your cloud of angst. I'm surprised, Odair, you're almost starting to bring me down."

He shrugs, "Well, I don't mean to…." With a sigh he stood up, "I'm not leaving without you, Jo. The party won't be as fun if I'm worrying about a pretty girl with a broken smile up here on the balcony with no one to comfort her." Finnick frowned.

I stare up at him, considering his offer. He is sincere. He really cares, doesn't he?

He stands there, gazing at me. Those shimmering emerald eyes piercing my soul. It's difficult to say yes. I'm not a people person. I cannot stand being surrounded by people I don't know. It makes me so insecure. The only people I ever trusted are now dead. Therefore, I am all alone. As much I hate it, I do need someone to talk to. I can't go to Blight all the time. He's usually too drunk to care about my feelings. Finnick is an option, but we know nothing about each other.

I come to a conclusion and decide to give him one chance.

"Alright, brainless, let's go down." I say patting him on the shoulder. "You must have some balls to convince the ruthless Johanna Mason to go party with you."

He simply smiles and we walk over to the elevator. The doors open and he waits for me to go in. "Ladies first." Finnick says, nodding his head towards the inside of the elevator.

I crinkle my nose and step inside. He follows, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He beams at me.

Oh boy, here I go giving social life a shot. Something I haven't done since I was 11 and I started realizing how awful life is.

Is it really worth it?