1 A/N- Sorry, this is VERY irreverent and not terribly nice. Sorry, guys.
2
3 Do-s and Don't-s on Spending your First Weekend at Your Girlfriend's Parents' House.
Do Say: "What a lovely home you have!"
Don't Say: "Man, I bet you could get some serious money at the Pawn Shop for this stuff.
Do Say: "Your daughter is nice/sweet/wonderful/perfect."
Don't Say: "Your daughter's got a mouth like a Hoover."
Do Say: "You look very nice Mrs. Doe."
Don't Say: "Hey, my great-grandmother has a dress just like that!"
Do Say: "What a nice dog"
Don't Say: "Die, Fluffy! Die!"
Do Say: "Yes, I think Jane has a wonderful future in front of her, Mr. Doe."
Don't Say: "…as a hooker."
Do: Kiss your girlfriend's cheek in the morning after spending the night in separate rooms.
Don't: Grab her ass after having been caught by her father sneaking into her room the night before.
Do: Talk to her little brother about sports/cars/school.
Don't: Talk to her little brother about prostitutes/pornos/which motels have the best by the hour rates.
Do: Help make breakfast.
Don't: Burp and ask for a beer with breakfast.
Do: Laugh at her father's jokes.
Don't: Laugh at her father.
Do: Compliment the cooking
Don't: Gag and call for Fluffy.
Do: Thank your hosts for a lovely weekend.
Don't: Then run back for the condoms you left in her bedside table.
2
3 Do-s and Don't-s on Spending your First Weekend at Your Girlfriend's Parents' House.
Do Say: "What a lovely home you have!"
Don't Say: "Man, I bet you could get some serious money at the Pawn Shop for this stuff.
Do Say: "Your daughter is nice/sweet/wonderful/perfect."
Don't Say: "Your daughter's got a mouth like a Hoover."
Do Say: "You look very nice Mrs. Doe."
Don't Say: "Hey, my great-grandmother has a dress just like that!"
Do Say: "What a nice dog"
Don't Say: "Die, Fluffy! Die!"
Do Say: "Yes, I think Jane has a wonderful future in front of her, Mr. Doe."
Don't Say: "…as a hooker."
Do: Kiss your girlfriend's cheek in the morning after spending the night in separate rooms.
Don't: Grab her ass after having been caught by her father sneaking into her room the night before.
Do: Talk to her little brother about sports/cars/school.
Don't: Talk to her little brother about prostitutes/pornos/which motels have the best by the hour rates.
Do: Help make breakfast.
Don't: Burp and ask for a beer with breakfast.
Do: Laugh at her father's jokes.
Don't: Laugh at her father.
Do: Compliment the cooking
Don't: Gag and call for Fluffy.
Do: Thank your hosts for a lovely weekend.
Don't: Then run back for the condoms you left in her bedside table.