Author's Note: Cheap entertainment, total shit, written in 20 minutes. Please enjoy!
And I own almost nothing.
Bulgaria was nauseous in tight places. He knew that he should avoid them, but he was too unlucky. And too... pliant.
When Hungary asked him and Romania to find her dress she was looking for, he didn't expect the door to stuck in. Hell, usually the Hungary's doors couldn't be closed, not the other way around!
So, he did what every human being would do. Sit down in the corner, trying to calm yourself down with slowly stuffing yourself with yoghurt. It was the perfect solution for everything!
But he wouldn't have minded some fresh air. And more yoghurt. And fucking silence! Because it was hard to relax, when two girls were tousling a dress, claiming it's theirs.
"You stole my dress you fucking bitch!" cried out Romania, as she pulled the (quite plain) dress towards herself, pluck Hungary with it.
"Na-ah! It's mine, you whore! It always have been!" the Hungarian nation shouted back, and did the same as the Romanian.
"Noo! I have this since the 50s!"
"Well, I had it much before!"
"You can't have it before that! It was made in the 50s!"
"No it wasn't! I can prove it to you, if you dare!"
"I don't need proof! I know it! Every girl in my country wore this in the 50s!"
"Huh! Seems you were always outdated with fashion if you wore this in the 50s!"
"Whatever! At least it looks good on me!"
At this point Hungary straightened her back, looking shocked. "What have you said?"
"That I look way more better in this dress than you!"
"I'm sorry, but I look better in every dress than you!"
"What do you mean! I'm look the best in every freaking dress I have ever worn!"
"With those little lumps on your chest, what you call boobs?" Hungary asked staring disdainfully at the Romanian's slightly smaller breasts.
"Yes, maybe my boobs aren't as big as yours, but that doesn't mean you're prettier than me!"
"But I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Yes I am!"
"No you're not!"
"Fine, than ask someone who can decide this for us. Bulgaria!" she shouted.
The mentioned nation looked up at the girls, yawning, because he just woke up.
"Yeah?"
"Bulgaria" inched closer to him Romania, smiling devilishly. "Tell me..."
"Tell you what?" asked Bulgaria confused. Maybe because of the closeness, maybe not.
"Tell me, Bulgaria" Nor Hungary came dangerously close to him, even grabbing his arm.
"What?" he asked again, hoping for an answer this time.
"Who do you think is the hotter?" They said the question out loud in exactly the same time. And parallel with this Bulgaria paled down so quickly, that after a minute he couldn't be told apart from the white wall behind him.
"Well" he cracked out, sweating from fear and nervousness. "It's kinda hot in here don't you think? We better call Moldova to open this fucking door.
"Bulgaria. That's not an answer" whispered Hungary with a frightening tone.
"Yes, Bulgaria answer!" commanded Romania.
"Uhmm..." Bulgaria glanced away, trying to think for a good solution. Think, Bulgaria, think! "To be honest both of you are ugly ducklings next to Belarus!" he blurted out, immediately regretting his decision.
When Moldova opened the door after an hour he found an unconscious Bulgarian on the floor, and two angry woman constantly kicking him.
"What happened here?" he asked, but when he tried to get in he stepped on a dress. "Oh! Wow! Romania you have the same dress at home! What a coincidence!" he laughed.