A/N I am not Anthony Horowitz so do not own the rights to Alex Rider. I am also not Kylie Minogue. I also have no money so if you do decide to sue me you will get 10% of nothing.
The Wonders of Kylie
'La, La, La,
La, La, La, La, La
La, La, La
La, La, La, La, la
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, your loving is all I think about,'
"Can you hear that?"
"Is he singing Kylie?"
Alex laughed internally wondering at how stupid these wannabe assassins were, letting themselves get distracted by Kylie of all things.
They'd never live it down. Though, since Alex was about to escape they wouldn't be living very long anyway.
"Kylie, really?"
The assassins turned round at the question only to be knocked out by two camouflaged SAS soldiers. Alex shrugged as best as he could considering he was shackled to the ceiling and had been for a long time.
"Someone changed my ringtone again. It's the first song I could think of," he said, gritting his teeth because of the pain.
"Thanks for not saying the first song that came into my head."
"Hey! What's with all the Kylie hate. Kylie is the queen of pop. Her feel good songs are a balm to the soul of any prisoner. The catchy tunes and uplifting lyrics will give any tortured Cub a smile," Eagle said while Wolf and Fox helped Alex out of the shackles.
"Please, stop him from spending time from Tom." Snake pleaded while keeping a firm grip on Eagle.
"I thought I told you to keep them away from each other."
"We tried, but he stole your phone and texted him before we could do anything about it."
"Really Fox. And you're the elite? Bah! Amateurs. Also why give me a signal to cause a distraction. Normally you just burst in."
"Well that was my idea. I thought it would be more fun."
"Tom? Why are you here? Who let you come?"
Tom spun around holding the finger of doom and pointed it at Wolf.
"Wolf," whined Alex, "I thought you at least could control him. You all make rubbish babysitters."
"I told you, didn't I. Wolf is a cuddly bear under that gruff exterior. One sob story from him and he was all like of 'course you can come and rescue your poor little cubby-wubby.'
"If I ever hear you say that again Snake I will end you."
"Next time, threaten me when it hasn't taken you 5 minutes to lower your arms below your head."
"I could strangle you with just my toes" Alex pushed out between the pain.
"Thanks for the information, Cub. Now can we get out of here before the baddies decide it's a good idea to blow the place up."
Boots started trudging through the grimy corridors (what good are cells if they're not in grimy corridors?) then a soft singing was heard.
'La, La, La,
La, La, La, La, La
La, La, La
La, La, La, La, la
"Tom, I will kill you."