Sorry I haven't posted for a while! ^.^" I haven't had access to a computer for a while! Here's a short little story for you!
' '
The doors to the church swing open. The tall, raven haired man looked over and saw the short, black haired girl walk up to him.
"The bride is missing!" She yelled.
"What?" Said the man
The young woman grabbed his cloak in her fists and pulled him down to her short level.
"Read my lips, Vincent!" She shouted in his face. "The. Bride. Is. Missing!" She said pausing between every word. She let go of Vincent. He stood up and straightened his cloak.
"Well, Yuffie," he said calmly. "we have to call the groom."
Yuffie reached into her bra and pulled out her cell phone. "I'm on it." She said as she flipped open the phone and dialled a number.
"Hello?" answered a man with blond, chocobo like hair.
"Yo," Yuffie said. "your brides gone!"
"What do you mean 'gone'?"
"'Gone' like as in 'no longer here' 'disappeared' 'poof'!" She made hand gestures as she said "disappeared" and "poof".
"Well we have to find her!"
"Thank you, captain obvious!" Then she hung up without another word to him.
"What'd he say?" asked Vincent.
With sarcasm in her voice, Yuffie replied: "Oh, you know, he wanted to get a coffee later." she gave him a look and he returned with a glare.
"Seriously Yuffie. What did Cloud say?" He asked again.
"What do you think he said? He just said that we have to find her! Duh!" She flipped open her phone again and started dialling a number.
"Who are you calling now?"
Yuffie gave him another look. "The pizza man," she said with more sarcasm. "I'm calling the bride; see if she answers."
The phone continued ringing then finally someone picked up but no one said anything.
"Uh... Hello?" Yuffie said.
No one answered.
"What's going on?" Asked Vincent.
"No one is answering. HELLO!" She yelled into the phone. "Vincent," she said. "What if something happened?"
"It'll be fine. Tifa's fought dragons, creepy squid like creatures, an evil scientist, and a tall man with a super long sword. I think she can handle herself."
"Vincent," Yuffie said pausing. "The woman is afraid of spiders this big!" She held up her index finger and thumb and put little space between them.
"So?"
"She runs away screaming and gets on top of a table. Like the women do in those 'Tom and Jerry' episodes when they see Jerry. It's really funny to watch!" She giggled.
Vincent rolled his eyes. "Try calling again."
"Ok." Yuffie said as she redialled. "But I don't think-"
"Hello?" answered a woman
"Wha- Tifa?" Yuffie said.
"What?" Tifa said grumpily.
"Well! Someone's moody! Where are you?"
"At the store. Buying milk."
Yuffie stopped. "... M-milk...? WHY!
"Because we need some."
"Tifa." Yuffie said calmly. "You buy milk almost every day! There's a refrigerator in the basement full of how much milk you buy!"
"I'm sorry! I'm a nervous... milk... buyer!"
Yuffie stopped again. "... WHAT! That is the STUPIDEST thing-"
Vincent interrupted her "Stupidest isn't a word." Yuffie turned and slapped him.
"I don't care! She said she's a nervous milk buyer!"
"Wha- Give me the phone." He snatched the phone from Yuffie and put it to his ear. "Have you lost your damn mind woman!" Get your ass back here and marry your fiancé!"
Yuffie snatched the phone back. "How many gallons did you buy?"
Tifa didn't answer.
"How many?"
Tifa mumbled a number but Yuffie didn't hear it.
"What?" She asked with a smile.
"TEN! I BAUGHT TEN GALLONS OK!" Tifa yelled into the phone.
Yuffie burst into laughter and fell on the floor.
"What?" Vincent asked. "How many did she buy?" He snatched the phone back. "Tifa you have to get back here. Cloud's gonna freak out if you don't!"
"I'm beyond freaking out." She said. "I'm like... mentally breaking down!"
"Well hurry back here-" He stopped. "Wait... are… are you wearing your dress?" he asked.
"... maybe..." Tifa said.
Vincent facepalmed and sighed. "Why?"
"Well I already had it on. I wasn't going to just take it off and then put it back on later. It's way too much trouble to get this thing on and off."
"It can't be that hard."
"You try putting on and taking off a 10 pound dress and see how it feels!"
"Pass..."
"Plus I'm getting free stuff!"
"Just come back! The wedding starts in an hour!"
"Fine. Oh and Vincent?" Tifa said.
"Yeah?"
"Ever curse at me like that again and I'll rip your tongue right out of your mouth! Got it?"
"Y-yes ma'am!" Vincent said kind of afraid.
They hung up and Vincent tossed the phone back to Yuffie who was still in hysterics on the floor. She pulled herself together and wiped a tear away
"So," She said. "What'd she say?"
"She's on her way back." Said Vincent.
"Good." said Yuffie. "Sooo... Where's Cloud?"
Vincent sighed and took out his phone and began to dial Cloud's number.