Solace

It was at the Bronze that Spike finally managed to catch up with Buffy. She'd been crying, so much was obvious. She barely registered his presence, staring dolefully at the dancing mass of people. It reminded him of her vacant catatonia when Glory had taken Dawn. He touched her shoulder briefly. "Been lookin' for you."

She turned puffy eyes to him. "Why?"

In his gentlest tone, he replied, "because you were upset, with Giles leaving... and I was worried about you."

She blinked another tear away. "Oh." She seemed to hesitate for a moment, then buried her head in his chest, arms round his neck. He could hear her breath rasping as she tried desperately to dam the flood of tears that was so close to the surface. He wrapped his arms around her in silence, and waited for the tremors to subside.

Finally, she calmed. "God, I - I don't know what came over me, I..."

He stroked the salty trace of a tear down her cheek. "It's okay. It happens."

"But..."

He smiled and shook his head. "You don't need to explain."

She swallowed hard to try to stop the tears from rising again, and without knowing why, reached up to kiss him.

He could feel her pain coursing through him, raw and violent, as she kissed him, as though she were pouring all that hurt her into the kiss - as though she were pleading with him to take the pain away, somehow. He didn't know how, but just pulled her close against him and let her pour out all her pain into him.

He wondered if she realised he could feel it - all that pain and fear and doubt. He realised that she was asking for reassurance - reassurance that he still loved her, was still there for her, even though Giles had gone.

He almost wept himself at the realisation - wept for the pain she'd been caused by all her well-meaning friends who couldn't see what it was she wanted and needed, though it was blindingly obvious to him - they were all too wrapped up in their own little lives to notice how deeply unhappy she was.

As she pulled away from him, he murmured, "I wish I could make you happy."

She blinked, embarrassed and confused. "Huh?"

He tucked a tendril of hair behind her ear. "I said, I wish I could make you happy. You're obviously not happy... and I wish I could change that." She opened her mouth as if to speak, but he carried on. "But, as I don't know how to do that, I'll do the only thing I can do, and just be here for you, always. Okay?"

"I - um - yeah," she muttered, flustered. "Look..."

"You don't have to explain," he repeated softly. "I know it's just because you're unhappy and want to be comforted. Speaking of comfort..." he took her hand and tugged her over to a table. He sat her down, and grinned at her. "Wait here."

A few minutes later he returned with drinks. "Pepsi?"

"Yeah... but with a shot of bacardi."

She looked doubtful. "Will I like it?"

"Probably. Try it." She took a sip. "Well?"

"Yeah... it's good," she said grudgingly. "Look, about earlier, I don't want you to think..."

"That it's any more than a cry for help?" At her look of wide-eyed surprise, he sighed. "I have ears, Slayer. And I know a cry for help from a damsel in distress when I hear it."

"Unlike the others," she said bitterly. Spike neither denied nor upheld the comment. "There just isn't anyone else now..."

He patted her hand. "I'm here for you, love. Always will be." She smiled quietly. "That what you needed to hear?"

Her face clouded slightly. "If you mean it."

He looked her straight in the eyes. "I mean it. You know that." A girl brought a platter of ribs and chicken wings. "Tuck in, love. Hope you're hungry, I can't manage all this by myself," he said cheerfully.

Buffy screwed up her nose; eating hadn't really been high on her to-do list. But to show she was grateful for his company, and the kindness he'd shown her, she took the smallest rib and started to nibble it delicately.

Spike kept a close watch on her as she ate, glad that, at least, she hadn't refused point blank to eat anything.

Her stomach rumbled loudly. Spike chuckled at her mortified expression. "Here, I think you'd better have some more," he said, pushing the platter towards her. She flushed slightly, but took a chicken wing. She ate until there was no more room.

"Thanks. Didn't realise how hungry I was."

Spike shrugged. "'S okay. Feelin' better now?"

"Yeah... Do, uh, do you wanna help patrol? I'm kinda tired, and I'd like an early night. Patrolling might be quicker with two."

He smiled gently, holding her coat for her. "Sure."

The End