All Over and After!

by: WhiteGloves

I hoped that BLAINE got up early to sneak away when KURT was waiting for him to do that… then maybe KURT had talked to him and there wouldn't be any need for fanfics like this one ;)

What I call—an UNFINISHED TALK.

Kurt sat on the floor of their apartment with his hands on his phone, his back pressed on one of the stone columns. His phone was vibrating nonstop with Blaine's face on the screen. He was calling him. Again.

Kurt just stared at the vibrating gadget with no intention of answering it ever. He may actually be mopping right now and felt like he'd be unable to get over the shock of his heart, but he has no intention of forgiving Blaine. What he did was painful—it was a serious scar in their relationship that not even a song can cure. Besides, he doesn't have the courage to face Blaine… he was not ready… Well—maybe not for the next centuries of their lives. If Edward Cullen can be so forgiving to Bella when she was all over Jacob that's probably because he was too soft, but he isn't.

Well, at least, he was trying hard not to.

To count till now since they last saw each other last week, this was already the 92nd time that Blaine was trying to reach him. Personally, Kurt doesn't feel like he was sorry for it at all. He needed space. A lot of it after what Blaine did.

A single tear ran down Kurt's right cheek followed by an uncontrolled sob that escaped his lips. His chest felt heavy as he stared down Blaine's face on his phone. He was feeling pain all over his body again. Things didn't feel right. His heart didn't feel right… It was scary how his heart felt like it was already dead when here he was breathing and alive…

God, was this the feeling of eternal death? It was miserable.

Kurt closed his eyes and pressed the phone on his lips, and it happened—nonstop tears followed by his own soft cry of pain. He really felt like being torn apart.

"Kurt?"

Kurt jerked his head up with a start and saw that Rachel was peering over him. He didn't even notice her arrival.

"Oh," he gasped, avoiding her eyes and looking all over the house with eyes as red as tomato, "I didn't hear you—you're here…" he tried to smile but his emotion failed him and the next thing he knew he was crying over Rachel who instinctively offered her shoulder to her best friend.

"Oh, Kurt," she whispered sounding like she was also in pain as she rubbed down his back, "It's okay… "

And Kurt, who was already broken, cried down his heart.

A few minutes later, Rachel was on the floor together with Kurt, who was still looking on his phone that has finally stopped vibrating. And Kurt sighed. Rachel gave him her knowing look with a sad curve on her beautiful lips, before saying,

"I didn't want to ask you about Blaine until you're ready…" she started slowly, "I know how you feel right now Kurt, believe me… and the way you handled it for a week really amazed me! But, I was also hoping that you'd come out and talk about it too… because I know it's painful…"

Kurt managed a small smile that didn't reach his sad eyes.

"I really didn't handle it too good, you know," he responded as he looked at her, while still wiping his red cheeks, "Sure, I managed it for the first three days without anyone's notice… but Isabelle noticed that things weren't right… that I wasn't right…" his voice started to break as he continued, "and then just today I screwed up one of her appointments and she asked me to take a break for awhile… she didn't even shout at me… you know her… but I was kinda disappointed of myself… I was hoping I could last longer… but then I realized I couldn't… it's just too painful I can cry an ocean…"

He looked at Rachel.

"You know how much I love him."

Rachel' eyes were swimming with her own tears too as she reached out and gave Kurt's hands an encouraging squeeze.

"I know," she heaved a sigh, "That's why you're going through this because you really love him, and I'm really sorry that he did that to you… but I can see where he is coming from…"

Kurt gave her a questioning look and Rachel nodded guiltily.

"I know—I know it's not an excuse and it's also the reason why Finn and I…"

Silence filled the two friends as they just gazed at one another.

"No," Kurt shook his head obstinately, "There's no excuse for what he did. He was with someone, Rachel! And that's only because he was lonely! That's not right… it's not right…he cheated on me… "

"I was lonely too!" Rachel cried in distress as she pointed at herself, "And I was so sorry for what I did—but Finn felt like he wasn't there anymore and then Brody came—and he gave me something to look up to…"

She looked at him and recognized that disbelief in his eyes.

"I know what I did was wrong…" she whispered in an almost cry like whisper with eyes springing up with tears, knowing that she was defending the wrong side… but it was her side too,"…that it's my fault because I'm not strong enough to believe he'd come back… and that just proves I don't really deserve anyone too… and I'm really sure Blaine feels the same… he knows that because of what he did to you he doesn't deserve you anymore than I deserve Finn… and just thinking about it makes my heart break so much I want to cry because we're not meant to be like this! In the beginning we all have our hopes—we're young and we're full of love… and it all ended up like this… like how normal relationship ends because of third parties and all that… yes—we always hear the same old stories and still never learn, isn't that ironic?" she laughed at this while pressing a cry.

"But it wasn't me who did it," Kurt said strongly as he wiped his eyes again, "I wouldn't be able to understand it because in the beginning I really have no plan to cheat him because I love him! And if he thought even for one second that he'd screw things up with me then he shouldn't have done it in the first place!"

Rachel nodded quietly while Kurt shook his head determinedly.

"It's not right… we're not cool…" he whispered with his painful heart both disagreeing and agreeing. Rachel looked up at him meaningfully and whispered,

"I just couldn't stop hoping that things would go back to normal… but that's impossible…"

Kurt didn't say anything as he listened to Rachel with own eyes filled with tears. The two of them remained silent for awhile with only the clock ticking on the background. And then she spoke again, more gentle this time and squeezing out her friend's hand.

"And you know what I'm also crying for, Kurt?" she whispered after a few moments with her voice croaking, "that someday we'll be like those old people out there who'd move forward with their lives and leaving things behind like this… with regrets…"

Kurt sniffed. "What's your point?"

Rachel looked him in the eye. The kind of piercing looks when you know that she was seriously thinking what she was going to say.

"I was thinking that maybe it's too early for you to let go of him—"

Kurt looked scandalized.

"Rachel—don't you get it? He cheated on me! On my back! With someone!"

"I know—!" Rachel pressed on, "but there's just too much love around the two of you, Kurt! I know you love him very much and he does, too! I'm sure he does! Otherwise he wouldn't come down here in New York to admit it to you! He knew what it would be like between the two of you once he says he was with someone—and he was ready to face it because he knew he deserved it!"

This time, Kurt pulled his hand away from Rachel who persistently made him listen by putting her hands on his face and locking gazes with his wet and filling eyes.

"Kurt, listen to me…"

"No—you're right!" Kurt suddenly burst out as he pulled himself up and looked at Rachel painfully, "I love him so much that's why I'm like this! The idea that he was with someone else tore me and broke me and there's no one else to blame but myself! I made it happen! I believed that we could do it like this—I was selfish! I made him suffer and the fact that I was the reason he was going through this pain right now is something I cannot forgive myself too! But he was still the first one who gave in, Rache… it was him… And I know I shouldn't forgive him for that! But my heart tells me the opposite! My heart tells me to love him and to understand him! But I just couldn't right now because I'm in pain—I have the right to be—! I'm in pain… we both are… and I really don't know how to fix that… but I really want it too… I really want it too…"

Rachel pressed her eyes closed and two fat tears slid down her cheeks. She stood up abruptly and gave Kurt a warm embrace to which he gratefully fell in and sank his head on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt…" she cried on his ears as the two best friends cried and hugged, "but I know that it's best for you to really talk to him and tell him how you feel… Finn and I had that closure… and it's up to you if you want to continue or not, because Kurt, no matter what your situation is—even if you're the one who's wounded, it's still a matter of choice."

Kurt sniffed.

"Yeah…."

The bell rang and he was waiting.

He was just standing there by the piano, wearing his favourite black coat and waiting for him to come… he hoped he would be the first one… and his wish didn't fail him.

Blaine entered the room. The moment he looked up and found Kurt there by the piano, he became immobilized.

Kurt saw him stop half dead as Blaine finally saw him. There was a long pause.

And then Blaine's eyes suddenly got filled up with tears, but what he did next totally turned Kurt upside down. He ran away.

Kurt was left hanging as Blaine, for all he was worth, left him standing there all alone by the piano again.

What the hell?

"Blaine!" he shouted as he scurried after him to the hallway. He ran past some of the Glee club members who instantly recognized him but he didn't have time to say anything. He only had one thing on his mind and that was catching that boy running away so fast like death was after him.

"Blaine, what the hell!" he shouted after running some more, past the cafeteria into the empty locker hall but he didn't show any sign of stopping. This pissed Kurt. Wasn't he the one who's supposed to do the running and not the chasing?

"If you don't stop running away I'll never forgive you!" he shouted heatedly as they finally reached the hallway.

Blaine suddenly made a very dangerous halt, but he didn't face Kurt.

Kurt gulped but calmly composed himself again. He didn't think running would be part of what was supposed to be a heartfelt talk.

"Now, face me," he commanded strongly that suggested no opposition.

Blaine did it, but very slowly and really hesitantly. Then the green orbs met the other green. And finally, for a long time, here they were again and gazing at one another.

Kurt shook his head with his own eyes moistening, the way that Blaine's eyes did.

"Blaine," he started, "What the hell was that about? I didn't come here all the way to New York just to chase after you! Well, I did come here but not the chasing!"

Blaine merely stared at him with eyes almost tearful. Kurt pressed his lips closed… God, just staring at him was painful.

"You're not supposed to be here…" Blaine suddenly blurted out and finally a single tear slid down his red cheeks. Kurt looked hurt and shocked at what he heard and started to open his mouth to give his retort when Blaine shook his head again and continued, "No—I, I was trying to contact you… to apologize and many more… I thought I could…"

Kurt's lips trembled as Blaine confessed this to him in such a very honest fashion he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the emotion…

"I thought I could," he croaked again, "but seeing you right now, I realized I couldn't take it after all… I cannot face you after what I did…and I'm not ready enough… not ready for you to tell me that we're over."

Kurt's eyes flickered in understanding but he couldn't say anything to that. Blaine closed his eyes and shook his head, his eyes already filling with so many tears as he bowed his head and pressed a small sob.

"You earned it, you know?" Kurt whispered with gritted teeth, when in fact it was crushing his own heart by saying it, "You know you do… and you can't blame me for it… it was your fault…"

Blaine heaved a sigh as he nodded his head.

"I'm so sorry…" he whispered. Kurt felt like there were blades on his heart.

"It's my fault too." He admitted that made Blaine look up at him in surprise, "I made us like this…. Believing so far that we can work our relationship out when in fact no one really has lasted that long… but that's because I believed we were strong… I didn't think you'd break so easily, Blaine…"

Blaine bit his lip and looked at the ground as Kurt continued, "But you know, I also realized that things like this happen to everyone who risks going on two directions at once… I had hoped we could do both and risked it… and here's the result, that's why I'm sorry for being the reason you went through this...I'm so sorry…"

Blaine slowly looked up at Kurt whose eyes were now clouded with watery tears and red nose.

"But it wouldn't change anything," Kurt continued as he sniffed and tried to gain control of his trembling lips, "you did it already… it cannot be undone… and I don't think it's best for us to pretend like nothing happened… I don't think I can do that… not now... so you're gonna have to respect my decision Blaine, when I tell you now that we're through…"

Blaine closed his eyes tightly with an agonizing expression on his face. Kurt was also crying so hard already that his last words were uttered almost impossible to be heard.

"I know," Blaine nodded as he tried to give an understanding smile to his ex, but failed miserably into a grimace, "I love you so much Kurt…"

He walked near him and reached slowly for his cheeks. Kurt didn't hesitate as they finally shared their final kiss of good bye… the words that he, Kurt, thought he would never say… but then, nothing lasts forever…

After the emotional kiss, the two separated and looked at each other's eyes.

"You are a great person, Kurt Hummel," Blaine whispered with a sincere face this time that made Kurt broke into sobs, "You are the greatest thing that ever happened in my entire life, and I'm so proud of you… I know that someday you'll be there where you wanted to be… and I so wanted to be beside you… but… I don't think I deserve you anymore."

Kurt's eyes widened.

"You are a much better person than I am… and I will forever regret what I did to you in my entire life…"

Kurt's heart pounded so heavily and beat under his chest like it was about to burst out as Blaine finally gave him a kiss on the forehead. He let go of his hand and slowly turned and walked away, leaving Kurt with his uneven breathing and a broken expression.

Was it justifiable to say the he was the one hurting the most? And was that even fair?

Kurt heaved a sigh and turned the other direction, and then walked away.

A week has passed after their emotional break up and Kurt is seen next to his table inside the company office. He was fine, as far as he could tell… well, maybe not fine-fine, but well, he always had his hopes up.

He looked over to his phone on his left which was lying quietly on his table. Blaine hadn't contacted him after they broke up.

Not like he expected him too, but well, as what has been said already, he always had his hopes up.

So he continued typing with his earpiece on and waiting for something to happen.

Well, something did. His phone started ringing.

Kurt shot it a quick look and was somehow disappointed again, that it wasn't who he was hoping it to be. He picked up his phone and answered quite distantly.

"Hello, Finn?"

"Oh, hey, Kurt, listen—"

"Don't beat around the bush with me, you know I'm busy," Kurt said curtly, but then he smiled, "kidding, but what's up?"

"Right—sorry, but I just called to tell you… we lost Blaine…"

Kurt's eyes darted from his computer screen and to his cell phone with his heart hammering, thundering and almost splitting his chest at what he heard.

"Wh-what?" he gasped and all the air in his lungs seemed to run out, "Clarify that right now if you know what's good for you! What do you mean 'lost'?"

"Oh—no, don't think that way—I'm sorry I startled you but it's not like that! No, I mean—he transferred school… back to this Warbler school,"

Kurt blinked with a total look of surprise and disbelief in his eyes.

"Just thought I'd tell you that…"

"Ah…yeah…"

Finn hung up, leaving Kurt looking confused.

Well...what did he expect? But just what does that suppose to make him feel?

~ToBeContinued~

Suppose this will only take one last chapter~ cause I know whatever will come up on the next episode will change everything~ and I know it'll be more tough if the writers decided to give their relationship more angst!

Just another bunny though :)

Thanks for Reading!