Poisoned
The first sign was a tiny groan, and the slender, pale hand under Naruto's own tan one slid away, retreating toward the body it came from.
Delusional,
I believe I can cure it all for you, dear.
Coax or trick or drive or,
Drag the demons from you.
Make it right for you, sleeping beauty.
Truly thought,
I could magically heal you.
Naruto, who had been half-asleep until he felt that movement, peeled his cheek up from his arm, which in turn was lying atop a nightstand, and looked down at the teenager that had been quite still for about sixteen hours.
"Sasuke?" he called hopefully.
The pale boy's lashes fluttered, his eyelids not quite wanting to stay open because he was just so tired, but finally his dark eyes opened and focused on the blond.
Naruto gave him a sad smile and wanted to run his fingers through Sasuke's dark locks, but thought better of it.
"What happened, Sasuke?" It was a near-rhetorical question; near, because he only half wanted an answer. He was sure he knew it already.
"Tsunade prescribed me antidepressants. So I took them." Sasuke's voice was low and quiet, with that same burning monotone it had for nearly a year now.
"Taking that many pills is suicide, Sasuke." Naruto's own voice was broken, and he wanted so badly to take his best friend's hand again, but Sasuke hated being touched these days.
"I know." And it was Sasuke's turn to smile, and Naruto wasn't sure if it was sad, or apologetic, or both, or neither.
"Sakura was really worried about you," Naruto said with an air of attempting to be casual whilst discussing a grim subject.
"Hn." Sasuke's eyes flickered to the window.
"Tsunade-baba won't be publicizing it. Only she, I, Sakura, and Shizune will know."
"What about Kakashi?" Sasuke's eyes were intently studying a tree outside.
"He was the one who found you, Sasuke."
Naruto saw the minute stiffening in Sasuke's shoulders.
"He said he was going on a mission tonight."
"Last night," Naruto automatically corrected, then his eyes widened in realization. "You did it then... because he would have been on a mission?"
There was a silence before Sasuke replied,
"You and Sakura have patterns. Kakashi visits randomly."
Naruto sighed and thanked the gods for his teacher's unpredictability.
"Tsunade wants to put you on a seventy-two hour suicide watch. I volunteered. Sakura's busy with her work in the medic squad and Kakashi-sensei is on a mission."
"Seventy-two hours... That's three days, Naruto," Sasuke murmured.
"Yes..."
"Living three days with you is supposed to stop me from killing myself?" He turned his head to face the blond, a teasing smirk on his lips and for a second it was almost like old times.
"Of course!" Naruto let a grin slip onto his features, "I'll introduce you to the wonderful world of ramen!"
Sasuke snorted his amusement and turned back to the window. The moment was gone.
"I'm—going to tell Tsunade you're awake. She might bitch you out if she hasn't had her sake, so brace yourself."
There was no reply to this, but it didn't bother Naruto much as he lifted himself out of his chair, stretched, and left the room.
He wasn't afraid of Sasuke jumping out the window. That would create a mess and Naruto knew that Sasuke didn't want to be even more of a trouble for Konoha than he already had been.
And that was what it came down to. Guilt.
Guilt for letting his family die. Guilt for betraying his village. Guilt for trying to kill Naruto so many times. Guilt for giving in to Orochimaru.
Guilt for killing his brother, his last remaining relative. The person he admired the most, in all the world.
As far as Sasuke was concerned, he never should have lived in the first place.
Somehow, though, he was still fit for missions—more than fit with ranking as an ANBU member. Naruto suspected the only reason why Sasuke hadn't made it to captain (yet) like Naruto had was due to his morbid depression, which at times could leave him unable to take a mission.
Sasuke was not suicidal as a ninja, only as a person. His top priority was the objective and it was common opinion that Sasuke would only die on a mission if he threw himself between an enemy and a comrade. He would not deliberately step into death's way on a mission.
To say that his attempt to gain power through Orochimaru was fruitless would be a terrible and vile lie.
All the same, when Tsunade considered Sasuke for a mission, she would discreetly ask Sakura, Kakashi, or Naruto to look into the teen's mental health. They were the only three people Sasuke trusted. If anyone else knocked on his door, they would likely become well acquainted with a low-powered-but-still-hurts-like-all-hell Chidori.
It had been eleven months since Orochimaru had been killed, relieving the effects of the curse mark on Sasuke. It had been eleven months since Sasuke had driven his Chidori-laced sword through Itachi's chest.
Eleven months. Naruto stopped just outside Tsunade's door. Eleven months since they had brought Sasuke back to the village known as Konohagakure to take official residence as a citizen once again. And he still wasn't healing.
You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening,
Failing miserably to rescue...
Sleeping Beauty.
Naruto often wished Sasuke would move out of the Uchiha District and into an apartment. He didn't like how Sasuke tortured himself quietly with the painful memory of his past.
The house had obviously been through some remodeling. After his three-year absence, Sasuke had returned to his old home to find it in a less-than-noble state. If he wasn't training, he was probably fixing up the house, just to keep himself busy.
As Naruto followed the so-far mute shinobi into the house, he realized that the floors had been sanded and a few planks had been replaced.
"Hey, Sasuke." The paler teenager titled his head toward him, "It's late, so let's just grab something to eat and call it a night, huh?"
Sasuke looked forward again and did not answer. Naruto assumed that meant 'okay'.
With a sigh, he followed his best friend, studying the red and white fan on the back of his shirt. He was glad he would be living with Sasuke for a few days. He wanted to talk to his best friend, get through to him.
He had only completed the first step in his goal to save Sasuke: getting him away from Orochimaru.
He was now aware that there was a second, more difficult step: saving Sasuke from himself.
"Naruto," Sasuke's chilling monotone broke through the blond's thoughts, "shouldn't we have gone to your apartment first?"
Naruto blinked, then smiled, "Nope, Sakura already brought my stuff over. She said she left it in the living room."
"Hn."
They continued down the hallway in silence until they reached the kitchen. It had been tidied up, courtesy of Sakura, with a fair amount of ramen packages on the counter. Sasuke made no comment as he, without breaking stride, picked up the kettle and began to fill it with water. Naruto couldn't tell if it was for tea, or if it was for the ramen. Probably both.
Soon they were sitting at Sasuke's table, the kettle on the burner. It was dark out, and all that lit the room was an old light bulb in the ceiling. It cast eerie shadows, its golden light splaying out across the room, hitting things at just the right angle to make strange shapes.
The whistle sounded, and Sasuke stood, picking a cup from the cabinet, pouring hot water into it and selecting a teabag. Naruto took the opportunity to make his ramen—because Sasuke still wouldn't be nice enough to pour water for him—and soon they were, once again, sitting across from each other.
"Hey, Sasuke," Naruto said, uncertainty coloring his voice, "Shouldn't you eat something?"
Sasuke looked up at him, "I'm not hungry."
Naruto narrowed his eyes and leaned across the table to look at Sasuke. The paler boy leaned back, away from the rather comical expression on the blond's face.
"I think you should eat anyway. People die after three days of not eating, right?"
Sasuke sighed and rose an eyebrow smartly, "Idiot. That's water. You die after three days of not drinking water. Food is three weeks."
Naruto mentally smacked himself for getting that wrong again (some wondered how he had ever become an ANBU captain), but continued, "I still think you should eat something."
"..."
"Sakura will kill me if you don't."
"..."
Naruto settled back in his seat and pushed his bowl of ramen across the table.
"Just a bite?"
With a sigh, Sasuke gave in, picking up the chopsticks and taking as few noodles as he could without receiving a glare from the blond and ate them before pushing the bowl back to Naruto.
Naruto stared at the bowl forlornly, "I can't believe I wasted perfectly good ramen on you..." He muttered, accepting his chopsticks back from the Uchiha.
A few moments later, the noodles and broth were effectively devoured by Kyuubi's host, but Sasuke hadn't quite finished his tea yet.
Drunk on ego,
Truly thought I could make it right,
If I kissed you one more time to,
Help you face the nightmare,
But you're far too poisoned for me.
Such a fool to think that I could wake you from your slumber,
That I could actually heal you...
Naruto watched Sasuke's fingers curl around the slim cup; the green-gray ceramic made his skin look strange and sickly.
He lifted the cup to his lips and took a sip, eyes cast downward so he couldn't possibly see Naruto watching him.
He put the cup down again, set his hands before him.
Those hands had done so many horrible things. But the scales were tipping...
He remembered a half-embrace from the almost-lost Sasuke so long ago. It had almost been like a friendly gesture. Naruto remembered how Sasuke's fingers had lightly pressed into his shoulder.
He had held Sasuke's hand in the hospital while he was unconscious. It had felt so good, to feel that cool, slender hand in his own; to feel the soft skin under his calloused fingers.
He wanted to touch Sasuke again.
Just to make sure he was real.
He looked up at his best friend's face.
Sasuke's shadowed, unreadable eyes were staring at him, easily meeting his gaze in such a way that Naruto felt color rise to his cheeks.
"What are you staring at, bastard?" Naruto demanded, ever hating how Sasuke could make him feel small with just a look.
The pale boy was silent, then, "Nothing."
Naruto cringed, because a long time ago, Sasuke would have used that opening to somehow start a fight.
Sasuke stood and poured the rest of his tea down the drain and discarded his cup before turning back to Naruto.
"Get your stuff, I'll show you which room your taking."
Were it anyone else, Naruto would have insisted that he sleep in the same room as the one he was watching, but he knew Sasuke. He wouldn't try suicide while Naruto lived with him.
Sasuke wanted to die alone.
It was in Naruto's personal list of promises not to allow that. Sasuke had been alone for too long, and he wasn't just going to let his idiot best friend give up just because he really fucked up in the past.
Naruto sighed and stood, giving his friend a half-smile that seemed to have no effect at all. The two entered the living room and on the coffee table was a small suitcase, presumably holding Naruto's clothes, and a small bag with various toiletries.
Naruto picked up both items and followed Sasuke again. The paler of the two opened a shoji next to his own room, indicating that Naruto would be staying there with a mere hand gesture. Naruto placed his suitcase in the room, feeling more than awkward as he pulled a toothbrush out of the small bag.
"Where's the bathroom, Sasuke?" He asked sheepishly.
The way Sasuke rolled his eyes made Naruto's heart lift a little, but the emotionless monotone that followed burned in the same way it always had. "You've been here how many times, moron, and you can't remember?"
Sasuke had always spoken in a monotone, but not the same kind he used now. His insults were now more reflexive, and there was very rarely any sort of inflection in his voice, not even for sarcasm. The way he spoke now was... empty. His voice had nothing in it; not arrogance, not hatred, not amusement, not annoyance, not anything. It burned and chilled at the same time.
Sasuke sighed and motioned for the blond to follow him yet again.
They were quiet in the bathroom, as they brushed their teeth, not even Naruto's forced, one-sided banter appeared. When Sasuke finished, he opened a small cabinet in the wall and attempted to reach for the top shelf, where a spare futon was residing, but even when he stood on his toes he couldn't reach it.
He rocked back on his heels with a sigh, glancing at the other shelves, and Naruto could tell he was considering using them as a sort of ladder to reach the top shelf. Instead of allowing that to happen, he stepped past the raven-haired teenager and reached up and grabbed the futon. He had hit a late growth spurt and now stood taller than Sasuke, and he liked to subtly rub it in every now and then.
And just like always, he got not even the faintest reaction to this taunt, unlike years ago, when he would have received a glare.
Sasuke gave a nod, mostly to himself, took a glance around the bathroom to make sure everything was in order, and stepped back into the hall.
Naruto was left standing there with the folded up futon in his arms, watching his best friend walk off with his hands in his pockets and eyes shadowed.
And then something just snapped.
Sleeping Beauty.
Poisoned and hopeless,
You're far beyond a visible sign of your awakening,
The pale boy quickly turned to glare at the blond, eyes flashing Sharingan for a moment before calming to black.
"Anko told me all about the curse mark! It puts thoughts in your head and it made you act like Orochimaru wanted you to—"
"And where do you think those thoughts came from?" Sasuke hissed and Naruto thought that maybe he had really made the heir angry, "Do you think they just... appeared in my head?"
A trace of remorse was in Sasuke's eyes as he continued, "They were already there. They were just pushed forward... Into the front of my mind and it was harder to ignore them."
"I've always wanted to kill you, Naruto."
The tiny tremble in his voice was enough to convince Naruto that Sasuke didn't really want to believe that.
"Sasuke..." Naruto moved as close as he dared. "That's not true..." He reached out to touch Sasuke's bangs—oh how he wanted to touch Sasuke again—but the teenager pulled back.
Sasuke sighed.
"Let's go to sleep."
And suddenly Naruto just didn't feel like arguing. It was late, and he was tired, and he'd yell at Sasuke tomorrow after breakfast.
"Fine."
Sasuke met his eyes then, and he could have sworn there was something akin to gratitude somewhere in those dark depths, but before he could be sure, Sasuke had turned away and was walking down the hall again.
Naruto let a frustrated sigh escape from between his lips as he slowly followed.
"G'night, bastard." He mumbled before entering the room he was taking temporary residence in. If Sasuke replied, he didn't hear.
The hall light flickered out, likely due to Sasuke, and a moment later, he heard Sasuke's own shoji slide shut.
Naruto sighed and unfolding the futon before turning off his own lights and stripping down to his boxers. He groaned as he sat down on the futon.
Sasuke had been like this for too long. In some ways, he and Naruto had never been closer, but at the same time the blond felt like he was being pushed away more than ever.
He wanted his Sasuke back.
The one where he would bicker and spar with without a second thought, that would show his friendliness by being bitchy. The one that didn't want to die.
With a growl of frustration, Naruto buried his head into his pillow.
What the hell did he have to do to get Sasuke's head out of his ass?!
What would it take for him to get through to his best friend?
With a sigh, Naruto forced himself to be calm.
He was relieved, though. Secretly, all of the original Team Seven had been afraid of Sasuke's punishment. When Tsunade had read Sasuke's report on his experiences in Sound—along with any additional information on the village's military strength—she had declared his time served. He had spent all of a week under close surveillance in a guest room at Hokage Tower. A small mercy in an ocean of misdeeds.
One thing that did bother Naruto, was a few words that Tsunade had spoken to him in a veiled sort of way.
'Living with Orochimaru is a punishment in itself.'
He had never asked for an elaboration, not from Tsunade or Sasuke, but he hoped his teammate's psychological health hadn't suffered too badly under the care of the snake master.
After all, Orochimaru had only cared about Sasuke's body, not Sasuke himself. As long he was physically fine, what did the man have to care?
Naruto sighed and rolled onto his back to stare at the ceiling.
He hated feeling so helpless. Not so long ago, he could have fixed whatever was wrong with Sasuke with a simple taunt or a good spar. But now they were too mature and powerful for that. (And Sasuke's suicidal! A voice in his head added, but Naruto elected to ignore that.)
With another sigh, he turned to gaze at the door. He heard no sounds from Sasuke's room (after all, in Sasuke's house, the walls were quite literally paper-thin). He was probably asleep by now.
He stood and stepped out into the hallway, gazing at the shoji. Far beyond a visible sign of your awakening, And hiding from some poisoned memory.
He had wanted for so long to save Sasuke, but what if he could not be saved? Beyond help and hope...
What if Sasuke wasn't meant to be saved?
Naruto narrowed his eyes against the thought, because Sasuke was Sasuke and Sasuke was meant to do everything, which included being saved.
He pushed Sasuke's door open and his eyes landed on the heir's bed, pushed against the wall just under the window. He was fast asleep, just as the blond had expected. He had been tired since he woke up from the hospital, and Sasuke had seemed like he just wanted to sleep.
The moonlight was trickling down from the window, casting Sasuke in a silver glow that made his pale skin look unearthly and his black hair seemed soft. His covers were hanging off of his bed, barely clinging to his frame and his shirt was pushed up, revealing his navel. His slender eyebrows were furrowed downward—either his scowl was a permanent thing or he was having a dream—and his pale lips were parted, ever so slightly.
Naruto kneeled down next to Sasuke's bed, looking at his tormented friend for a long moment before running the back of his fingers along his pale cheek. He ran his fingers through Sasuke's dark hair, then traced his features, wishing to the gods that he could just touch him casually again. A simple pat on the shoulder, that was all he wanted to give anymore.
He paused as his fingers brushed over Sasuke's lips, and frowned slightly. This would probably be the only chance he would ever have.
He leaned forward and gently placed his lips on Sasuke's. He didn't rush it, taking his time to taste Sasuke, his eyes closed to immerse himself in the sensation. Naruto ran his tongue over his friend's lips, taking one last taste.
He pulled away and looked up, finding himself staring into black eyes.
Poisoned and hopeless,
Sleeping Beauty.End PoisonedFor the record, this story will not be continued. It will stay as it is: a oneshot. I'm quite flattered that people want me to continue, but I just don't have it in me.
As for the overdose... I don't know how long it would take to recover from one, so work with me. I do know it can cause liver/organ damage, but I decided that Sasuke, being a rational person, would probably figure the smallest needed overdose so that if he did fail, he wouldn't be in deep shit. :bad excuse:
And yes, I ran with the cliché of not only Sasuke attempting suicide, but also having Sasuke and Naruto live together. :shame: Well, at least I was creative in the suicide method. Sasuke's too good to cut his wrists! He does pills instead! Tremble before my originality. Or not.
And sorry for the slightly OOC Sasuke. I hope you understand.