A Son's Forgiveness
And so we all died; all but Gohan, Tai, and my son Taku. Even the mighty Piccolo fell to the Androids. Goku had past into the next dimension three years before of a devastating heart virus. Now, I don't know if he would have made any difference had Goku been alive, but we sure could have used my uncle during the battle. Now, the hope of all humanity rests on the shoulders of my son Taku, my cousin Gohan, and my wife's niece, Tai. Then there was the Saiyan Prince Vegeta's infant son, Trunks. Once he grew up, he too would carry the weight of responsibility. Those young surviving Z warriors and that baby boy could kiss their childhood good-bye.
I could empathize with them. My father, Raditz, saw to that, by killing my mother when I was three, driving myself and my two older brothers into the wilderness where we fended for ourselves for five years, until my father came back, killed my brothers, then tried to train me to be a true Saiyan Warrior. I wouldn't cooperate, and so he took me back to the Saiyan homeworld. If it had not been for the young Saiyan Princess taking pity on me, I would have died a long time ago. However, that's not important now. What is important is I know what it's like to not have a childhood, and I feel for these kids.
We arrived at King Yemna's office, where we were surprised to find Goku waiting for us. He smiled, and waved at us. Nothing had changed in the three years, well, other than the fact that we were all dead. "Hey guys!" He called out as he waved. "I've been waiting for you. I have good news. We're all going to be staying on King Kai's planet."
King Kai's planet? I had heard Yamcha and Tein talking about it once. The small planetoid where the guardian of this sector of space lived had gravity ten times that of the earth. It was very small, and yet King Kai had a road and a cool Cadillac, and a nice house, albeit small. "Uh, Goku, there are eight of us, nine including yourself." I said, scratching my head, as I tried to figure it out. "And I've heard that King Kai's planet is pretty small. So where is he going to put all of us?"
"Oh don't worry about it. We'll find a place, but he has a plan, and he wants us there so we can train, and just a place where we can watch over our surviving friends. So come on, I'll use Instant Transmission, and we'll get there in no time." Goku said.
My wife, Shitaka looked skeptical. "Uh, no offense Goku, to your teacher, but he's a goof and idiot, and tells bad jokes. I don't know how long I can stand that." She turned to Piccolo and Tien, who shared the same looked. "Honestly, I don't know how either of you could stand it."
"When ya can't beat'em, join'em." Tien and Piccolo said together. Shitaka fell flat on her face. I guess that surprised her, since it came from our two most stoic friends.
"Well, I guess I'm outnumbered on this one." She said when she got back on her feet. "Fine Goku, we'll stay at King Kai's."
The conversation continued, but I had stopped listening to them. It was something about Vegeta complaining about being too late for both of his kids, yadda yadda yadda. I was watching souls travel through the checkpoint, and King Yemna send them either to Hell, or Heaven. Suddenly, I found my mind wandering to a time, long ago, when two souls had passed through this gate once before. One took to tackling Snake Way and all the obstacles it presented in order to reach King Kai's, and the other went to hell. The first was Goku, and the second was my father. It was funny, but I still missed my father, even after all the horrible things he had done to my family. I also wanted answers to questions that I knew I would never get, until now. Perhaps, there was a chance that with Goku's Instant Transmission I could go into the bowls of Hell, and ask my father those questions. If I could just get some answers, then maybe, just maybe, I can leave that bitter past behind me. That was when I noticed that everyone had stopped talking, and was staring at me. I don't know how red my face got, but it felt red. "Uh, did I miss something?" I asked, as I scratched the back of my head, and laughed sheepishly.
"Uh, we were just asking you what you were staring at, but you were really lost in thought, weren't ya?" Shitaka remarked.
"Whoa, Dev, lost in thought?" Krillin joked. "That's a scary sight." Shitaka pulled out one of her many sticks, and decided to see how long it would take King Yemna to lose patience in her as she chased Krillin around the desk.
"And people say I have a temper." Vegeta said to me as we watched the two with bemused expressions. Vegeta had mellowed out a lot after Goku died. I guess it finally hit him that he wasn't invincible when the great Kakarot had past into this new dimension. We had, unbelievably, reinstated the friendship we had had when we both lived on the planet Vegeta.
"Yeah, tell me about it. And remind to ask King Kai if girls have their menstrual cycle in the afterlife." I said. Trust me, I was praying to the Eternal Dragon that they didn't, because a Saiyan with PMS is a very bad thing, and one who could pretty much do anything to you, and not worry about killing you is even worse.
"Dear Lord, I hope not, she had bad enough PMS when she was alive, and can you imagine it what it will be like."
"Why do you think I'm worried?" I said, as my mind wandered back to Raditz. Damn, why couldn't I quit thinking of that Bastard? He had taken my life and turned it upside down, and all but had me destroyed by the King Vegeta, then he comes to earth, and tries to destroy planet I had come to call home, not to mention kidnapping my young son. Why should I care about his ulterior motives for me?
"Kakarot, will you please get those two to King Kai's before they break something?!" Vegeta yelled, pulling me out of my reverie. He turned back to me. "So, what keeps dragging your attention away from the present?"
I sighed, and rubbed the back of my head. "Actually, I was just thinking about my father." I laughed at the shock look I received from Vegeta. That is a rare occasion, trust me. "Well, when he died, I still had a lot of questions I wanted to ask him, and I sorta had to give up any hope of ever asking him. But with Goku's instant Transmission, I might be able to go into hell, and confront him, and finally put the past behind me." I explained.
Vegeta said nothing, simply nodded his head, and he walked off to join the others as they waited their turn for Goku to whisk them away to King Kai's planet at the end of Snake Way. Of course, Piccolo and Tien decided that they would go ahead and take Snake Way, without Goku's Instant Transmission. They figured that the longer they took, the less time they would have to spend with King Kai and his bad jokes. I waited apart from the group, lost in thoughts and questions. One word seemed to be circulating in my mind more than the rest: Why? Why had he killed my mother? Why had he killed my brothers? Why did he wish me dead? Why? I wanted answers, and now was the one chance I would have.
Goku walked up to me, the last to be transported to King Kai's. "So, Dev, are you ready to meet King Kai?"
"Actually, I was wondering if you could do me a favor first, Goku." I began, then rambled on before I lost my nerve. "I want to into Hell, and confront my father about the past, otherwise I'll be left with questions unanswered for all eternity, and that's a long time to be wondering why, don'tcha think." Boy, when I get going, sometimes I don't know when to shut up.
Goku looked at me for several minutes without saying a word, until I began to think that perhaps even Instant Transmission had it's limits, and Hell was one place that he couldn't go. Then Goku started to laugh, and I turned red. Obviously, he thinks I'm joking, great, if it's not food, it's a joke. That's the way things are with Goku.
"Well, why didn't you say so earlier?" Goku said, still laughing. "Not a problem, just give me a sec to get a lock on the Saiyans.there. Okay, here we go."
It's hard to describe what it's like travel with Instant Transmission. One minute, we were standing in front of King Yemna's desk, and the next, we were in front of imposing gate that led to a world locked in darkness. I looked at Goku, a little nervous. I mean, this was where the Guardians of Hell, the Saiyans, dwelled. "So, uh, this is it, ain't it, Goku?"
He nodded. "Your father is the Captain of the Royal Guard now, while your grandfather is the King's personal guard. Don't get intimidated, little bro." He explained, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Hell has mellowed the Saiyan Race, including your father."
I shook him off. "Relax, Goku. I can handle myself." I walked forward and pushed the gate open. I turned back to Goku. "Wait for me here, okay? Hopefully, this won't take long." Then, without another glance back, I walked through the gates, and into darkness. Lightening flashed overhead, and a great clap of thunder resounded throughout the land. I half expected the Eternal Dragon to rise out of the ground to grant a wish to whoever summoned it.
I passed by the first guards, my shoulders squared, gait proud, as if I were a member of the Royal Family. I heard murmurs of my Saiyan name, Onimishu, from them. I may not have been a direct member of Royal Family, but a long time ago, on an erstwhile planet named Vegeta, I was the personal bodyguard to the Princess Shitaka, not to mention her friend and confidant. Many Saiyans knew me, if only by reputation, for I was known for my loyalty to the princess, and the Royal family in general. I came to the Castle of the Hell Guardians, and called out in a loud, proud voice that would have put Vegeta to shame. "I came to see the Captain of the Royal Guard." My voice demanded obedience; one used to command.
A rumbling voice called back. "Who shall I tell him wants to see him?" I drew myself up to full height. "Tell him that is Onimishu, The Royal Princess Shitaka's Guardian, and his son!" So far, so good. I hadn't lost my nerve yet, but then again, I hadn't had to face my father yet. That would be the true test of my courage, and I wasn't so sure if I would be able to pass that test. The second gate opened, and I walked inside, where I came face to face with my grandfather, Bardock.
Bardock is nothing like is eldest son; in fact, he was more like Goku. He was also a brilliant scientist, although not much of a warrior. He had sent Goku to earth to save him from the destruction of the planet, which is the reason Vegeta had sent his only daughter there. We had all trusted him with our lives, and was another reason Shitaka and I had headed there when we ran from Freeza. He smiled when he saw me. "Onimishu, my boy, so you too suffered an ill-timed death. It must be a family curse."
I smiled back. I had always loved my Grandfather, and was thankful that I had gotten a chance to know him. "Yes, Grandfather, it does seem that way. I see that the Saiyans have made Hell their home."
"Yes, we deserve to be here, but while we are here, we will protect those in the mortal world from the demons who wish to overrun it." He said, then he turned serious. "I know why you are here, and so does your father. We both have been watching you for a long time, and when you passed into this dimension, we knew it was only a matter of time before you came here demanding answers. If you will follow me, I will take you to your father."
I swallowed, and followed my grandfather into the Castle. We passed by the Throne room, where I caught a glimpse of King Vegeta and his wife, my love's parents. They seemed well enough. Shitaka and Vegeta both will be happy to know that, although I knew that Shitaka would want to confront her father about his decision for her to marry Freeza. I wonder if they knew about how their grandchildren would be doing in the near future. I shuddered. Those androids were dangerous, and I didn't want to think about what those four would be going through without us. I pushed that thought out of my head, and continued to follow my grandfather down to the army's barracks. On the way, we passed the mighty Nappa, who managed to take out most of my earth friends single-handedly. I had known him back on Vegeta as well, and as with the prince, we had been friends; however, fate is cruel, and sometimes friends become bitter enemies. We passed him without a word. I knew that one day I would have to drag Vegeta down here, so he and Nappa could work things out. Those two had been best buddies, and I knew that Vegeta felt guilty over the past, but, unbelievably, Vegeta does not like to confront his friends, unless it's Goku, but that's different.
We finally reached the barracks, and I saw many people whom I had considered friends before I had run away with the Princess. I still saw the respect in their eyes as we passed them. I may have started as the Princess's freakish Half-Saiyan pet, but I left the planet a respected warrior. That was what they remembered about me, not the half wild creature that my father had drug in front of the King, Queen, and their young daughter. I wondered how my father remembered me. According to my Grandfather, he had been watching me for a long time. Was he proud of what he had seen? More importantly, why did I care all of sudden what he thought of me?
I stopped, because I realized I knew the answer to that last question. My father had done some rotten things to my family and me in the past, but he was still my father, and what does any child want, but the respect and love of their parents? I realized I came not only there to get answers, but to find out if my father really loved me.
We reached my father's office, and I swallowed again. This was it, the decisive moment. Now it was time to see if my courage would hold up. I stepped inside, and my faced my father for the first time in five years. He stood up, and we faced each other for a long time. Finally, the silence getting to me, I said, "Hello, father." Why was my voice choked with emotion? We hadn't even gotten through question and answer time. It was only going to get harder.
He nodded at me, and motioned me to sit down. I did so, and we spent another few minutes just staring at each other. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable when he sighed. "I know why you are here, son, and to be perfectly honest, I don't blame you. I know you have some questions you want to ask me, so go ahead. I'm prepared."
I thought about all the questions I wanted to ask, but really, all the questions boiled down to one question, technically one word. Everything I wanted to ask began with that word, so asking all those questions would be pointless, when I could ask him just one, and get all the answers I wanted. Besides, I wanted to go easy on my father; after all, I was the one who sought him out. I really shouldn't yell at him, and demand answers when I came of my own volition. If he had sought me out, then it would be different, but.I shook my head. Boy, when my mind gets going, it can keep going if I didn't keep it in check. I took a deep breath, and let it out, then repeated the exercise. I looked my father, the man who inadvertently introduced me to the love of my life, and asked him the one thing that had been on my mind. "Why?"
To my surprise, Raditz laughed. This left me feeling more embarrassed that I'd even come. He noticed my discomfort, and shook his head. "No, I'm not laughing at you." He explained, making me feel a little better. "I'm laughing because I'm relieved. I thought this was going be one long question and answer session. But you summed it all up into one question." I just looked at him as if he were the biggest idiot in the entire other world. He coughed, and avoided my intense gaze. I came here for answers, not for my poor excuse for a father to laugh at me. "Very well," He sighed, "I guess I should start at the beginning. I had two reasons for come to earth. The public reason was that I came here to find out if a single infant could indeed conquer this planet, but my ulterior motive was to find out if the beings of the planet Earth and Saiyans could interbreed. That's where your mother came in. Of course, I was young and incredibly stupid at the time, and I thought I could get anything I wanted as long as I applied enough force. Therefore, I took the woman by force. She became pregnant with you, making my experiment a success. When you were born, I thought you were the most remarkable thing I'd ever seen."
I sat there, shocked by what my father revealed. I found myself trying to decide what was real, and what was fabrication. I couldn't bring myself to believe that my father really cared. He continued to talk about how he tried to make my mother love him as much as he loved her, and me. I couldn't believe that. After all, he killed my mother when I was three. I must have had a skeptical expression, for he paused in his explanation, and shook his head, and smiled sadly.
"I know what you must be thinking. I killed your mother, and yet, here I am, claiming to have loved your mother and you with my very life." He swept his hair back with a hand, and shifted in his chair. "Like I said before, I was young and stupid. When she threatened to take you away from me, I got angry, and scared as well. I had received word that my younger brother Kakarot arrived on earth, and that put all of us in danger. I was convinced that he would destroy the earth and all that lived there. I forgot how frail human women were, and I hit her as I would have hit a Saiyan female, killing her almost instantly. Your brothers, fearing for their lives, and yours, ran off into the woods."
No, this couldn't be true. He was lying, I knew it. He killed my mother, and yet here he was claiming that it was an accident, that he forgot his own strength. He went on to explain how he spent five years searching for me, to take me away from earth before Kakarot decided to complete the mission given him. I didn't want to believe it; I didn't want to believe that he was telling the truth. Yet, what did he have to gain by lying at this point? He had nothing to gain, and everything to lose, if indeed he was lying. This brought me to startling conclusion. My father did love me, and has always loved me. But I was blinded by hatred and rage by his mistakes, and that clouded everything he did. I had come her to get an apology from my father, and yet, I was the one who had been in the wrong all these years. I listened with new understanding as he explained that he had tracked us to the woods not far from where his brother had been sent. He again accidentally killed my family, knocking a tree right on top of them. He came for me, and he began to train me to be a Saiyan Warrior.
"I knew you were not using your full strength, and I pleaded with you to try harder. I needed you to, if you didn't, then Kakarot would destroy you. I knew he would. Finally, after two years of trying without much luck, I came to a decision. I needed to get you off that planet." He shook his head. "It was the first time my father liked one of my plans. I would take you there as freak, and pray that Shitaka, the princess would be interested. You see, Shitaka loved exotic creatures, I'm sure you've seen her menagerie."
I nodded. Shitaka had an amazing collection of creatures from all over the universe. Vegeta had brought most of them, although if a Saiyan Warrior wanted to get on the good side of the Royal Family, they would bring her a new pet. My father went on to explain how he made a false threat to get me to act wild, so that the princess would be intrigued.
"Of course," He smiled, "Your interesting looks couldn't hurt. Nobody had seen a Saiyan with Stormy eyes and Sandy blonde hair." He turned serious again. "I knew before I entered that throne room that my plan could backfire, and you might end up at the wrong end of the firing squad. If that happened, then I would have taken your place. I would never have allowed harm to come to my own child."
I shook my head. That I had a hard time believing. Even with the shocking revelation that my father did care about me, I couldn't bring myself to believe that he would have taken a bullet for me. I remembered what he did to Goku, Gohan, Taku, and Tai. "If that were true," I argued, "then why did you kidnap my only son, and threaten to kill him if we did not kill one hundred humans each by morning. You took your own grandson, Father, and threatened him right in front of me, and you expect me to believe you would have taken a bullet for me?"
"I know how this sounds. I know that everything I'm saying to you must go against everything you've believed all your life." He shook his head. "All I can say is give me the benefit of the doubt, and believe me when I say that I never would have harmed any member of your family. Not now, not ever."
I took a deep breath, and held it. I knew what I should give him what he wished, but I still wasn't sure I was ready to believe that he wouldn't have harmed my son. I let out my breath, and nodded for him to continue his story.
He went on to say that his plan worked perfectly, and the princess was intrigued enough to counter father, and spare my life. "I have never been so relieved in my life, than to know that you would at least have a chance to live a life that I could never give you." His voice choked with emotion, told of how proud he was when I rose past his expectations to become the Princess's own bodyguard, and friend. "The Prince and I often joked that you two were quite close, much closer than a princess, and a guard, and that we would soon be in-laws. It turns out we were right." He laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh as well. I knew what he thought was funny, that a lower class warrior and a Prince should be in-laws, and yet, that was what they were. Life was never what we expected it to become; I was living proof of that testimonial.
"All right, let's say I believe that you did all that because you care for me." I said, after I had calmed down. "Explain what happened five years ago, when you came for Kakarot. Why did you take Taku, Gohan, and Tai? If you so loved me, why threaten my only son?"
My father looked down at the desk, and remained silent for several minutes. Finally, without looking back at me, he began, "I wish I could say that I had a good explanation for you, but I don't. I don't know why I did it," He looked me in the eyes for the first time that night, "but you must believe me when I say that I could never cause serious harm to that child, ever. No one could harm their own grandchild, or nephew. All I can say is that through my life, I've done things that I've lived to regret. I wish I could go back in time, and change those things, most of all, I want the death of my own brother off my conscience, but it will remain there, and I will live with the guilt that I nearly single handedly wiped out the last of the Saiyan Race by my foolhardy beliefs that I was smarter than my brother." He turned away from me finally, facing the small window that overlooked the darkness "That's all I can really tell you, my son. I hope I answered all of your questions well enough to satisfy you, and that there is a chance that sometime somewhere, you'll find it in your heart to forgive the atrocities that I've committed against you, and your family, and accept me as your father."
I stared at his back, at a total loss for words. I could no longer deny the truth that my father really did care for me, and nothing I had thought I had known about him was true. What do you say when you realize that your whole life you've hated your father for no real reason than you were blinded by rage? I considered myself a rationale man, and someone who could admit when he was wrong. Yet, here I had the biggest chance to prove it, and yet all I could do was cry silently at the loss of the comfort zone I had built around myself.
Shitaka once told, when we were preparing to face Vegeta and Nappa that life never turns out the way we expect it too, and more often than not, we are forced to become enemies with those that had once been our allies. Was this true about my father? Had I lost a powerful ally because of my own blindness? I closed my eyes, as if by blocking out the scene, I could hide my own shame.
I felt arms enfold me, and I opened my eyes. Shocked, I discovered that it was my father holding me, comforting me in the way I had always wanted to be during life. "Father," I choked, "I came here to find an apology, and only now do I realize that I should be asking for your forgiveness, for I judged you before I got a chance to know you. Had I once listened to you instead of blocking you out, perhaps things would have been different."
"My son, you don't need to ask forgiveness of me." He whispered. "Things in our life happen for reasons, and I'm proud of all that you've accomplished. I couldn't have been blessed with a better son."
I don't know how long we stayed like that, locked in each other's embrace, father to son. It was reconciliation too long in the waiting, and now, in hindsight, it seems anticlimactic, but appropriate, in its own way. After we pulled away from each other, we sat for an indeterminate amount of time, while I answered his questions about his grandson and nephew.
When it finally came time for us to part, I made a promise, both to my father, and to myself, that I would try to visit when I could, for there was much to catch up on. Father walked me to the door of his office, then gave me one final embrace, and left the barracks. The walk back to the gate to the other part of hell seemed longer than the walk inside.
By the time I left the land of eternal darkness, the sun had begun to set. I found Goku leaning against the tree where I had left him. He looked over at me, as if to ask how it went, but something about the look on my face made him hold his tongue. He did smile at me, and together we finally left hell, and arrived on King Kai's planet.
To this day, I have kept my promise to my father. I even brought Taku down with me one time to meet his grandfather. He became an important part of our life, as it should be, and I was finally able to leave my dark past in the dark recesses of the mind, where it belonged.
The End
And so we all died; all but Gohan, Tai, and my son Taku. Even the mighty Piccolo fell to the Androids. Goku had past into the next dimension three years before of a devastating heart virus. Now, I don't know if he would have made any difference had Goku been alive, but we sure could have used my uncle during the battle. Now, the hope of all humanity rests on the shoulders of my son Taku, my cousin Gohan, and my wife's niece, Tai. Then there was the Saiyan Prince Vegeta's infant son, Trunks. Once he grew up, he too would carry the weight of responsibility. Those young surviving Z warriors and that baby boy could kiss their childhood good-bye.
I could empathize with them. My father, Raditz, saw to that, by killing my mother when I was three, driving myself and my two older brothers into the wilderness where we fended for ourselves for five years, until my father came back, killed my brothers, then tried to train me to be a true Saiyan Warrior. I wouldn't cooperate, and so he took me back to the Saiyan homeworld. If it had not been for the young Saiyan Princess taking pity on me, I would have died a long time ago. However, that's not important now. What is important is I know what it's like to not have a childhood, and I feel for these kids.
We arrived at King Yemna's office, where we were surprised to find Goku waiting for us. He smiled, and waved at us. Nothing had changed in the three years, well, other than the fact that we were all dead. "Hey guys!" He called out as he waved. "I've been waiting for you. I have good news. We're all going to be staying on King Kai's planet."
King Kai's planet? I had heard Yamcha and Tein talking about it once. The small planetoid where the guardian of this sector of space lived had gravity ten times that of the earth. It was very small, and yet King Kai had a road and a cool Cadillac, and a nice house, albeit small. "Uh, Goku, there are eight of us, nine including yourself." I said, scratching my head, as I tried to figure it out. "And I've heard that King Kai's planet is pretty small. So where is he going to put all of us?"
"Oh don't worry about it. We'll find a place, but he has a plan, and he wants us there so we can train, and just a place where we can watch over our surviving friends. So come on, I'll use Instant Transmission, and we'll get there in no time." Goku said.
My wife, Shitaka looked skeptical. "Uh, no offense Goku, to your teacher, but he's a goof and idiot, and tells bad jokes. I don't know how long I can stand that." She turned to Piccolo and Tien, who shared the same looked. "Honestly, I don't know how either of you could stand it."
"When ya can't beat'em, join'em." Tien and Piccolo said together. Shitaka fell flat on her face. I guess that surprised her, since it came from our two most stoic friends.
"Well, I guess I'm outnumbered on this one." She said when she got back on her feet. "Fine Goku, we'll stay at King Kai's."
The conversation continued, but I had stopped listening to them. It was something about Vegeta complaining about being too late for both of his kids, yadda yadda yadda. I was watching souls travel through the checkpoint, and King Yemna send them either to Hell, or Heaven. Suddenly, I found my mind wandering to a time, long ago, when two souls had passed through this gate once before. One took to tackling Snake Way and all the obstacles it presented in order to reach King Kai's, and the other went to hell. The first was Goku, and the second was my father. It was funny, but I still missed my father, even after all the horrible things he had done to my family. I also wanted answers to questions that I knew I would never get, until now. Perhaps, there was a chance that with Goku's Instant Transmission I could go into the bowls of Hell, and ask my father those questions. If I could just get some answers, then maybe, just maybe, I can leave that bitter past behind me. That was when I noticed that everyone had stopped talking, and was staring at me. I don't know how red my face got, but it felt red. "Uh, did I miss something?" I asked, as I scratched the back of my head, and laughed sheepishly.
"Uh, we were just asking you what you were staring at, but you were really lost in thought, weren't ya?" Shitaka remarked.
"Whoa, Dev, lost in thought?" Krillin joked. "That's a scary sight." Shitaka pulled out one of her many sticks, and decided to see how long it would take King Yemna to lose patience in her as she chased Krillin around the desk.
"And people say I have a temper." Vegeta said to me as we watched the two with bemused expressions. Vegeta had mellowed out a lot after Goku died. I guess it finally hit him that he wasn't invincible when the great Kakarot had past into this new dimension. We had, unbelievably, reinstated the friendship we had had when we both lived on the planet Vegeta.
"Yeah, tell me about it. And remind to ask King Kai if girls have their menstrual cycle in the afterlife." I said. Trust me, I was praying to the Eternal Dragon that they didn't, because a Saiyan with PMS is a very bad thing, and one who could pretty much do anything to you, and not worry about killing you is even worse.
"Dear Lord, I hope not, she had bad enough PMS when she was alive, and can you imagine it what it will be like."
"Why do you think I'm worried?" I said, as my mind wandered back to Raditz. Damn, why couldn't I quit thinking of that Bastard? He had taken my life and turned it upside down, and all but had me destroyed by the King Vegeta, then he comes to earth, and tries to destroy planet I had come to call home, not to mention kidnapping my young son. Why should I care about his ulterior motives for me?
"Kakarot, will you please get those two to King Kai's before they break something?!" Vegeta yelled, pulling me out of my reverie. He turned back to me. "So, what keeps dragging your attention away from the present?"
I sighed, and rubbed the back of my head. "Actually, I was just thinking about my father." I laughed at the shock look I received from Vegeta. That is a rare occasion, trust me. "Well, when he died, I still had a lot of questions I wanted to ask him, and I sorta had to give up any hope of ever asking him. But with Goku's instant Transmission, I might be able to go into hell, and confront him, and finally put the past behind me." I explained.
Vegeta said nothing, simply nodded his head, and he walked off to join the others as they waited their turn for Goku to whisk them away to King Kai's planet at the end of Snake Way. Of course, Piccolo and Tien decided that they would go ahead and take Snake Way, without Goku's Instant Transmission. They figured that the longer they took, the less time they would have to spend with King Kai and his bad jokes. I waited apart from the group, lost in thoughts and questions. One word seemed to be circulating in my mind more than the rest: Why? Why had he killed my mother? Why had he killed my brothers? Why did he wish me dead? Why? I wanted answers, and now was the one chance I would have.
Goku walked up to me, the last to be transported to King Kai's. "So, Dev, are you ready to meet King Kai?"
"Actually, I was wondering if you could do me a favor first, Goku." I began, then rambled on before I lost my nerve. "I want to into Hell, and confront my father about the past, otherwise I'll be left with questions unanswered for all eternity, and that's a long time to be wondering why, don'tcha think." Boy, when I get going, sometimes I don't know when to shut up.
Goku looked at me for several minutes without saying a word, until I began to think that perhaps even Instant Transmission had it's limits, and Hell was one place that he couldn't go. Then Goku started to laugh, and I turned red. Obviously, he thinks I'm joking, great, if it's not food, it's a joke. That's the way things are with Goku.
"Well, why didn't you say so earlier?" Goku said, still laughing. "Not a problem, just give me a sec to get a lock on the Saiyans.there. Okay, here we go."
It's hard to describe what it's like travel with Instant Transmission. One minute, we were standing in front of King Yemna's desk, and the next, we were in front of imposing gate that led to a world locked in darkness. I looked at Goku, a little nervous. I mean, this was where the Guardians of Hell, the Saiyans, dwelled. "So, uh, this is it, ain't it, Goku?"
He nodded. "Your father is the Captain of the Royal Guard now, while your grandfather is the King's personal guard. Don't get intimidated, little bro." He explained, placing a hand on my shoulder. "Hell has mellowed the Saiyan Race, including your father."
I shook him off. "Relax, Goku. I can handle myself." I walked forward and pushed the gate open. I turned back to Goku. "Wait for me here, okay? Hopefully, this won't take long." Then, without another glance back, I walked through the gates, and into darkness. Lightening flashed overhead, and a great clap of thunder resounded throughout the land. I half expected the Eternal Dragon to rise out of the ground to grant a wish to whoever summoned it.
I passed by the first guards, my shoulders squared, gait proud, as if I were a member of the Royal Family. I heard murmurs of my Saiyan name, Onimishu, from them. I may not have been a direct member of Royal Family, but a long time ago, on an erstwhile planet named Vegeta, I was the personal bodyguard to the Princess Shitaka, not to mention her friend and confidant. Many Saiyans knew me, if only by reputation, for I was known for my loyalty to the princess, and the Royal family in general. I came to the Castle of the Hell Guardians, and called out in a loud, proud voice that would have put Vegeta to shame. "I came to see the Captain of the Royal Guard." My voice demanded obedience; one used to command.
A rumbling voice called back. "Who shall I tell him wants to see him?" I drew myself up to full height. "Tell him that is Onimishu, The Royal Princess Shitaka's Guardian, and his son!" So far, so good. I hadn't lost my nerve yet, but then again, I hadn't had to face my father yet. That would be the true test of my courage, and I wasn't so sure if I would be able to pass that test. The second gate opened, and I walked inside, where I came face to face with my grandfather, Bardock.
Bardock is nothing like is eldest son; in fact, he was more like Goku. He was also a brilliant scientist, although not much of a warrior. He had sent Goku to earth to save him from the destruction of the planet, which is the reason Vegeta had sent his only daughter there. We had all trusted him with our lives, and was another reason Shitaka and I had headed there when we ran from Freeza. He smiled when he saw me. "Onimishu, my boy, so you too suffered an ill-timed death. It must be a family curse."
I smiled back. I had always loved my Grandfather, and was thankful that I had gotten a chance to know him. "Yes, Grandfather, it does seem that way. I see that the Saiyans have made Hell their home."
"Yes, we deserve to be here, but while we are here, we will protect those in the mortal world from the demons who wish to overrun it." He said, then he turned serious. "I know why you are here, and so does your father. We both have been watching you for a long time, and when you passed into this dimension, we knew it was only a matter of time before you came here demanding answers. If you will follow me, I will take you to your father."
I swallowed, and followed my grandfather into the Castle. We passed by the Throne room, where I caught a glimpse of King Vegeta and his wife, my love's parents. They seemed well enough. Shitaka and Vegeta both will be happy to know that, although I knew that Shitaka would want to confront her father about his decision for her to marry Freeza. I wonder if they knew about how their grandchildren would be doing in the near future. I shuddered. Those androids were dangerous, and I didn't want to think about what those four would be going through without us. I pushed that thought out of my head, and continued to follow my grandfather down to the army's barracks. On the way, we passed the mighty Nappa, who managed to take out most of my earth friends single-handedly. I had known him back on Vegeta as well, and as with the prince, we had been friends; however, fate is cruel, and sometimes friends become bitter enemies. We passed him without a word. I knew that one day I would have to drag Vegeta down here, so he and Nappa could work things out. Those two had been best buddies, and I knew that Vegeta felt guilty over the past, but, unbelievably, Vegeta does not like to confront his friends, unless it's Goku, but that's different.
We finally reached the barracks, and I saw many people whom I had considered friends before I had run away with the Princess. I still saw the respect in their eyes as we passed them. I may have started as the Princess's freakish Half-Saiyan pet, but I left the planet a respected warrior. That was what they remembered about me, not the half wild creature that my father had drug in front of the King, Queen, and their young daughter. I wondered how my father remembered me. According to my Grandfather, he had been watching me for a long time. Was he proud of what he had seen? More importantly, why did I care all of sudden what he thought of me?
I stopped, because I realized I knew the answer to that last question. My father had done some rotten things to my family and me in the past, but he was still my father, and what does any child want, but the respect and love of their parents? I realized I came not only there to get answers, but to find out if my father really loved me.
We reached my father's office, and I swallowed again. This was it, the decisive moment. Now it was time to see if my courage would hold up. I stepped inside, and my faced my father for the first time in five years. He stood up, and we faced each other for a long time. Finally, the silence getting to me, I said, "Hello, father." Why was my voice choked with emotion? We hadn't even gotten through question and answer time. It was only going to get harder.
He nodded at me, and motioned me to sit down. I did so, and we spent another few minutes just staring at each other. I was starting to feel a little uncomfortable when he sighed. "I know why you are here, son, and to be perfectly honest, I don't blame you. I know you have some questions you want to ask me, so go ahead. I'm prepared."
I thought about all the questions I wanted to ask, but really, all the questions boiled down to one question, technically one word. Everything I wanted to ask began with that word, so asking all those questions would be pointless, when I could ask him just one, and get all the answers I wanted. Besides, I wanted to go easy on my father; after all, I was the one who sought him out. I really shouldn't yell at him, and demand answers when I came of my own volition. If he had sought me out, then it would be different, but.I shook my head. Boy, when my mind gets going, it can keep going if I didn't keep it in check. I took a deep breath, and let it out, then repeated the exercise. I looked my father, the man who inadvertently introduced me to the love of my life, and asked him the one thing that had been on my mind. "Why?"
To my surprise, Raditz laughed. This left me feeling more embarrassed that I'd even come. He noticed my discomfort, and shook his head. "No, I'm not laughing at you." He explained, making me feel a little better. "I'm laughing because I'm relieved. I thought this was going be one long question and answer session. But you summed it all up into one question." I just looked at him as if he were the biggest idiot in the entire other world. He coughed, and avoided my intense gaze. I came here for answers, not for my poor excuse for a father to laugh at me. "Very well," He sighed, "I guess I should start at the beginning. I had two reasons for come to earth. The public reason was that I came here to find out if a single infant could indeed conquer this planet, but my ulterior motive was to find out if the beings of the planet Earth and Saiyans could interbreed. That's where your mother came in. Of course, I was young and incredibly stupid at the time, and I thought I could get anything I wanted as long as I applied enough force. Therefore, I took the woman by force. She became pregnant with you, making my experiment a success. When you were born, I thought you were the most remarkable thing I'd ever seen."
I sat there, shocked by what my father revealed. I found myself trying to decide what was real, and what was fabrication. I couldn't bring myself to believe that my father really cared. He continued to talk about how he tried to make my mother love him as much as he loved her, and me. I couldn't believe that. After all, he killed my mother when I was three. I must have had a skeptical expression, for he paused in his explanation, and shook his head, and smiled sadly.
"I know what you must be thinking. I killed your mother, and yet, here I am, claiming to have loved your mother and you with my very life." He swept his hair back with a hand, and shifted in his chair. "Like I said before, I was young and stupid. When she threatened to take you away from me, I got angry, and scared as well. I had received word that my younger brother Kakarot arrived on earth, and that put all of us in danger. I was convinced that he would destroy the earth and all that lived there. I forgot how frail human women were, and I hit her as I would have hit a Saiyan female, killing her almost instantly. Your brothers, fearing for their lives, and yours, ran off into the woods."
No, this couldn't be true. He was lying, I knew it. He killed my mother, and yet here he was claiming that it was an accident, that he forgot his own strength. He went on to explain how he spent five years searching for me, to take me away from earth before Kakarot decided to complete the mission given him. I didn't want to believe it; I didn't want to believe that he was telling the truth. Yet, what did he have to gain by lying at this point? He had nothing to gain, and everything to lose, if indeed he was lying. This brought me to startling conclusion. My father did love me, and has always loved me. But I was blinded by hatred and rage by his mistakes, and that clouded everything he did. I had come her to get an apology from my father, and yet, I was the one who had been in the wrong all these years. I listened with new understanding as he explained that he had tracked us to the woods not far from where his brother had been sent. He again accidentally killed my family, knocking a tree right on top of them. He came for me, and he began to train me to be a Saiyan Warrior.
"I knew you were not using your full strength, and I pleaded with you to try harder. I needed you to, if you didn't, then Kakarot would destroy you. I knew he would. Finally, after two years of trying without much luck, I came to a decision. I needed to get you off that planet." He shook his head. "It was the first time my father liked one of my plans. I would take you there as freak, and pray that Shitaka, the princess would be interested. You see, Shitaka loved exotic creatures, I'm sure you've seen her menagerie."
I nodded. Shitaka had an amazing collection of creatures from all over the universe. Vegeta had brought most of them, although if a Saiyan Warrior wanted to get on the good side of the Royal Family, they would bring her a new pet. My father went on to explain how he made a false threat to get me to act wild, so that the princess would be intrigued.
"Of course," He smiled, "Your interesting looks couldn't hurt. Nobody had seen a Saiyan with Stormy eyes and Sandy blonde hair." He turned serious again. "I knew before I entered that throne room that my plan could backfire, and you might end up at the wrong end of the firing squad. If that happened, then I would have taken your place. I would never have allowed harm to come to my own child."
I shook my head. That I had a hard time believing. Even with the shocking revelation that my father did care about me, I couldn't bring myself to believe that he would have taken a bullet for me. I remembered what he did to Goku, Gohan, Taku, and Tai. "If that were true," I argued, "then why did you kidnap my only son, and threaten to kill him if we did not kill one hundred humans each by morning. You took your own grandson, Father, and threatened him right in front of me, and you expect me to believe you would have taken a bullet for me?"
"I know how this sounds. I know that everything I'm saying to you must go against everything you've believed all your life." He shook his head. "All I can say is give me the benefit of the doubt, and believe me when I say that I never would have harmed any member of your family. Not now, not ever."
I took a deep breath, and held it. I knew what I should give him what he wished, but I still wasn't sure I was ready to believe that he wouldn't have harmed my son. I let out my breath, and nodded for him to continue his story.
He went on to say that his plan worked perfectly, and the princess was intrigued enough to counter father, and spare my life. "I have never been so relieved in my life, than to know that you would at least have a chance to live a life that I could never give you." His voice choked with emotion, told of how proud he was when I rose past his expectations to become the Princess's own bodyguard, and friend. "The Prince and I often joked that you two were quite close, much closer than a princess, and a guard, and that we would soon be in-laws. It turns out we were right." He laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh as well. I knew what he thought was funny, that a lower class warrior and a Prince should be in-laws, and yet, that was what they were. Life was never what we expected it to become; I was living proof of that testimonial.
"All right, let's say I believe that you did all that because you care for me." I said, after I had calmed down. "Explain what happened five years ago, when you came for Kakarot. Why did you take Taku, Gohan, and Tai? If you so loved me, why threaten my only son?"
My father looked down at the desk, and remained silent for several minutes. Finally, without looking back at me, he began, "I wish I could say that I had a good explanation for you, but I don't. I don't know why I did it," He looked me in the eyes for the first time that night, "but you must believe me when I say that I could never cause serious harm to that child, ever. No one could harm their own grandchild, or nephew. All I can say is that through my life, I've done things that I've lived to regret. I wish I could go back in time, and change those things, most of all, I want the death of my own brother off my conscience, but it will remain there, and I will live with the guilt that I nearly single handedly wiped out the last of the Saiyan Race by my foolhardy beliefs that I was smarter than my brother." He turned away from me finally, facing the small window that overlooked the darkness "That's all I can really tell you, my son. I hope I answered all of your questions well enough to satisfy you, and that there is a chance that sometime somewhere, you'll find it in your heart to forgive the atrocities that I've committed against you, and your family, and accept me as your father."
I stared at his back, at a total loss for words. I could no longer deny the truth that my father really did care for me, and nothing I had thought I had known about him was true. What do you say when you realize that your whole life you've hated your father for no real reason than you were blinded by rage? I considered myself a rationale man, and someone who could admit when he was wrong. Yet, here I had the biggest chance to prove it, and yet all I could do was cry silently at the loss of the comfort zone I had built around myself.
Shitaka once told, when we were preparing to face Vegeta and Nappa that life never turns out the way we expect it too, and more often than not, we are forced to become enemies with those that had once been our allies. Was this true about my father? Had I lost a powerful ally because of my own blindness? I closed my eyes, as if by blocking out the scene, I could hide my own shame.
I felt arms enfold me, and I opened my eyes. Shocked, I discovered that it was my father holding me, comforting me in the way I had always wanted to be during life. "Father," I choked, "I came here to find an apology, and only now do I realize that I should be asking for your forgiveness, for I judged you before I got a chance to know you. Had I once listened to you instead of blocking you out, perhaps things would have been different."
"My son, you don't need to ask forgiveness of me." He whispered. "Things in our life happen for reasons, and I'm proud of all that you've accomplished. I couldn't have been blessed with a better son."
I don't know how long we stayed like that, locked in each other's embrace, father to son. It was reconciliation too long in the waiting, and now, in hindsight, it seems anticlimactic, but appropriate, in its own way. After we pulled away from each other, we sat for an indeterminate amount of time, while I answered his questions about his grandson and nephew.
When it finally came time for us to part, I made a promise, both to my father, and to myself, that I would try to visit when I could, for there was much to catch up on. Father walked me to the door of his office, then gave me one final embrace, and left the barracks. The walk back to the gate to the other part of hell seemed longer than the walk inside.
By the time I left the land of eternal darkness, the sun had begun to set. I found Goku leaning against the tree where I had left him. He looked over at me, as if to ask how it went, but something about the look on my face made him hold his tongue. He did smile at me, and together we finally left hell, and arrived on King Kai's planet.
To this day, I have kept my promise to my father. I even brought Taku down with me one time to meet his grandfather. He became an important part of our life, as it should be, and I was finally able to leave my dark past in the dark recesses of the mind, where it belonged.
The End