Man, I Feel Like A Wu-man

Man, I Feel Like A Wu-man!

  • griff drake
  • warnings: Ummm, one small swear, but that's about all.

    Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I don't own Shania Twain's song "Man! I Feel Like A Woman!" I do own Wufei's pants though! Wufei: "You do not! I am part of the show Gundam Wing, as are my pants. You don't own Gundam Wing, so you don't own my pants. So there." Aww darn it.

    The scene opens in a darkened hangar. The lights flash on as a huge, metal door slowly slides open. Nataku stomps in as the door closes behind it. Wufei leaps out of the cockpit, muttering inaudible ramblings along the way. The young pilot then opens a door leading to their safehouse, enters, and clomps up the stairs to his room.

    He flops over on his neatly made bed and breaths a deep sigh, strands of free, black hair whisping about his face. He then glances around, a smirk on his face, stands up, and peers out into the hall. "Maxwell! Yuy! Winner! Barton!" he listens for a response, but only gets silence. He pauses, then tries again. "Yuy! I broke your laptop! Um, Relena's here to see you!" Still no reply. He pauses once more, puts a finger to his lips, then tries again. "Maxwell! What the hell are these?! Pictures of Yuy, naked?! And Winner, I never knew a person could do that!" Still, silence was his only response. He gave a confident nod, then turned on his stereo, walked into the bathroom, and flipped on the lights.

    Soon, music begins to fill the house as Wufei stares into the mirror, happily looking himself over. He then picks up a brush, holds it to his lips, and begins singing, quite well.

    "I'm going out tonight – I'm feelin' alright

    Gonna let it all hang out

    Wanna make some noise – really raise my voice

    Yeah, I wanna scream and shout"

    He flips on a pair of sunglasses, smiles, and points at his reflection in the mirror, and begins dancing his way out of the bathroom and around the house, still singing.

    "No inhibitions – make no conditions

    Get a little outta line

    I ain't gonna act politically correct

    Even I need to have a good time

    The best thing about being a Wu-man

    Is the prerogative to have a little fun and…

    Oh, oh, oh, go on a riot, forget I'm a pilot

    Duo's clothes – who knows

    Oh, oh, oh, really go wild – doin' it Wufei style"

    Wufei slides across the kitchen floor, rips his shirt off, and begins dancing even harder.

    "Oh, oh, oh, get in the action – feel the attraction"

    The pilot tears his hairband out of his silky, black hair, allowing it to flow around his face.

    "Grow my hair – do what I dare

    Oh, oh ,oh, I wanna be free – yeah, to feel the way I feel

    Man! I feel like a Wu-man!"

    Wufei grabs a broom and begins strumming on it, to add to the effect.

    "I need a break – tonight I'm gonna take

    The chance to get out on the town"

    He then sheds his pants off as well, revealing his green, chibi-Nataku covered boxers.

    "Don't need my pants – I only wanna dance

    I'm gonna let my hair hang down

    The best thing about being a Wu-man

    Is the prerogative to have a little fun and,

    Oh, oh, oh, go on a riot – forget I'm a pilot

    Duo's clothes – who knows

    Oh, oh, oh, really go wild – doin' it Wufei style

    Oh, oh, oh, get in the action – feel the attraction

    Grow my hair – do what I dare

    Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free – yea to feel the way I feel

    Man! I feel like a Wu-man!"

    *repeat*

    While Wufei was caught up in the moment, the four other pilots quietly enterede the house and were greeted with a shocking sight.

    "I get totally crazy

    Can you feel it

    Come, come, come on baby

    I feel like a Wu-man!"

    Wufei struck a pose as the song ended. He was then shocked to hear a burst of whistles, cat calls, and applause. He turned to his fellow pilots, his face turning a bright scarlet. Duo grinned and crossed his arms.

    "So, this is the work you had to finish, eh Wu-man?" Wufei growled and began to shuffle away.

    "You saw nothing, NOTHING!!" Trowa smiled slightly as he watched Wufei scurry away in only his boxers and sunglasses.

    "Oh, we saw something alright, something indeed."

    griff: Now, how could any Wufei fan not like that?

    Wufei: "You made me sing a woman's song! A woman's song!"

    griff: Aww, but you did an excellent job Wu-man!

    Wufei: "Grrr, I'll be in my trailer.."

    griff: Well, if ya review, maybe you can convince me to do another one, with the character of your choice! Ja ne minna! ^_~