(FoN: Okay, to everyone who has read My Immortal… I'm so very, very sorry. I hope this will help with the healing. To everyone who hasn't read my immortal… do. It'll melt your brain, but in a funny way. To everyone who wrote My Immortal (I'm including you in that, Raven)… Thank you so much! It's made me laugh more than anything else I've ever read online!
This Commented version made by the amazing ME shall be unlike anything the world has seen before! Apart from the thousands of other commented versions which I'm sure are out there. Whatever. My Comments shall look like this (FoN: *blank*) because I'm awesome like that. And I'll be writing down my thoughts as I read it for the first time. Apart from chapters 30+ , I've never got that far. Oddly. Anyway, lets get on with it! Oh, and this chapter is written because Qoheleth is awesome. Go read his stories . After reading this of course.)
Chapter : Special fangz (FoN: Eh?) (get it, coz Im goffik) (FoN: Oh god, it's a joke.) 2 my gf (ew not in that way(FoN: Ew? Why ew?) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. (FoN: Couldn't she of helped with THIS part?) U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX! (FoN: MCR… MCR….Nope, Don't know them) my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (FoN: The Mary Sue bell is ringing inside my head) and I have long ebony black hair (FoN: Still ringing) (that's how I got my name (FoN: You had long ebony hair when you were born? Freaky)) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears (FoN: Mary Sue bell just keeps getting louder) and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!(FoN: *gets "Da hell out of here"* Oh wait, I can't because I have to finish writing this. Silly me. ). I'm not related to Gerard Way (FoN: Tara, if she isn't related to him choose another last name… avoid the confusion) but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie (FoN: Incest already! What a nice story.) . I'm a vampire (FoN: Say what?) but my teeth are straight and white (FoN: I've gone deaf due to ringing). I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, (FoN: Eh?) and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts (FoN: What the freak? This is a Harry Potter fan fic? That's scary.) in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (FoN: Oh my god! How surprising!) (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly black. (FoN: If you were a goth and wore mostly pink and blues I'd be a little surprised.) I love Hot Topic (FoN: Never heard of it. Which likely means it's a made up shop in the harry potter universe.. Well, this one) and I buy all my clothes from there. (FoN: All of your clothes? Maybe you should try other shops sometimes) For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it (FoN: Do you even know what a corset is?) and a black leather miniskirt, (FoN: Slutty) pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, (FoN: Yay) white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow (FoN: Too… much… make up…) I was walking outside Hogwarts (FoN: Oh yeah, I forgot this was a Harry Potter fan fic) .. It was snowing and raining (FoN: At the same time? Major Ehing) so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. (FoN: So you don't sparkle?) A lot of preps stared at me. (FoN: Eh, what's a prep) I put up my middle finger at them. (FoN: So Lovely)
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up.
It was…. Draco Malfoy!
(FoN: Oh God No. Please have mercy on my soul. Do not let her date him.)
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly. (FoN: Shyly? Please… God… have mercy!)But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away. (FoN: How Polite.)
(FoN: Well, that's the end. Thank god.)