Title: It Started Out Innocently Enough
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: By Grabthar's Hammer, J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters.
Quidditch Scene In COS
Snape: Lucius, fancy seeing you here.
Lucius: *nods to him* Severus. Naturally, I came to see Draco win his first Quidditch match.
*They sit down and wait for the match to begin*
Lucius: So, do you like my hat? It's made of real Aardvark fur.
Snape: *gives Lucius one of those what-the-fuck expressions*
Lucius: *roars with laughter* It's mink, you rediculus ass!
Snape: Good for you. *looks a bit uneasy*
*The game begins. All is well until Lucius leans closer to Snape*
Lucius: *whispers* I'm not wearing any underwear.
Snape: *eyes widen, but he does not respond*
Lucius: *smirks and suddenly brings his cane down lightly on Snape's shoulder. He is delighted to see Snape jerk with surprise* I have something for you under my cloak.
Snape: *reluctant but curious, reaches beneath Lucius' black cloak and pulls out...* Great Merlin! *hurries to get the nine inch magic vibrator out of sight*
Lucius: *chuckles uncontrollably*
*Someone spots the rogue bludger*
Snape: Lucius, are you responsible for that bludger?
Lucius: No. Do you like my gift? Narcissa's never used it.
Snape: You haven't taken your medication, have you, Lucius?
Lucius: *watches the game*
*Draco's broom is hit by the bludger and he falls to the ground. Concerned, Snape jumps up and his eyes suddenly grow very wide. Lucius, in his deranged state, has thrust the magic vibrator against Snape's buttocks*
Snape: *whirls around to yell. Lucius sits quite calmly as if nothing were amiss* I can't believe you did that! *sits back down* Your son might be seriously injured!
Lucius: He'll be fine. Guess what else I have under my cloak?
Snape: I'm leaving.
Lucius: *pulls out a cat-o-nine-tails*
Snape: *slowly smiles a gloriously ugly smile*
*Later that evening on the empty Quidditch field...*
Lucius: *wearing black leather pants, no shirt, black leather boots, and a top hat* Dobby, I had to call twice for my tea. You must be punished. Come, Dobby!
Snape: *wearing a toga because it's sexier than a pillowcase* But sir, Dobby was helping mistress Narcissa plan her midnight orgy.
Lucius: Such insolence! Come here, Dobby! I will not be denied!
Snape: *smiles lecherously* Oh, please no, master. Dobby is very afraid. Dobby is-
*Sound of the cat-o-nine-tails coming down on Snape's back*
Lucius: You must learn obedience, you wretched elf!
Snape: Bad Dobby! Terrible Dobby! Dobby is a bad, bad house elf. Dobby needs severe discipline. Yes-I mean no! Oh, no, master, not *that*! Oh, yes!
*The steady sound hum of a vibrator fills the night air*
~FIN~
A/N: No Potions Masters were harmed during the writing of this fic.
Author: Ivory Tower
Disclaimer: By Grabthar's Hammer, J.K. Rowling owns all Harry Potter characters.
Quidditch Scene In COS
Snape: Lucius, fancy seeing you here.
Lucius: *nods to him* Severus. Naturally, I came to see Draco win his first Quidditch match.
*They sit down and wait for the match to begin*
Lucius: So, do you like my hat? It's made of real Aardvark fur.
Snape: *gives Lucius one of those what-the-fuck expressions*
Lucius: *roars with laughter* It's mink, you rediculus ass!
Snape: Good for you. *looks a bit uneasy*
*The game begins. All is well until Lucius leans closer to Snape*
Lucius: *whispers* I'm not wearing any underwear.
Snape: *eyes widen, but he does not respond*
Lucius: *smirks and suddenly brings his cane down lightly on Snape's shoulder. He is delighted to see Snape jerk with surprise* I have something for you under my cloak.
Snape: *reluctant but curious, reaches beneath Lucius' black cloak and pulls out...* Great Merlin! *hurries to get the nine inch magic vibrator out of sight*
Lucius: *chuckles uncontrollably*
*Someone spots the rogue bludger*
Snape: Lucius, are you responsible for that bludger?
Lucius: No. Do you like my gift? Narcissa's never used it.
Snape: You haven't taken your medication, have you, Lucius?
Lucius: *watches the game*
*Draco's broom is hit by the bludger and he falls to the ground. Concerned, Snape jumps up and his eyes suddenly grow very wide. Lucius, in his deranged state, has thrust the magic vibrator against Snape's buttocks*
Snape: *whirls around to yell. Lucius sits quite calmly as if nothing were amiss* I can't believe you did that! *sits back down* Your son might be seriously injured!
Lucius: He'll be fine. Guess what else I have under my cloak?
Snape: I'm leaving.
Lucius: *pulls out a cat-o-nine-tails*
Snape: *slowly smiles a gloriously ugly smile*
*Later that evening on the empty Quidditch field...*
Lucius: *wearing black leather pants, no shirt, black leather boots, and a top hat* Dobby, I had to call twice for my tea. You must be punished. Come, Dobby!
Snape: *wearing a toga because it's sexier than a pillowcase* But sir, Dobby was helping mistress Narcissa plan her midnight orgy.
Lucius: Such insolence! Come here, Dobby! I will not be denied!
Snape: *smiles lecherously* Oh, please no, master. Dobby is very afraid. Dobby is-
*Sound of the cat-o-nine-tails coming down on Snape's back*
Lucius: You must learn obedience, you wretched elf!
Snape: Bad Dobby! Terrible Dobby! Dobby is a bad, bad house elf. Dobby needs severe discipline. Yes-I mean no! Oh, no, master, not *that*! Oh, yes!
*The steady sound hum of a vibrator fills the night air*
~FIN~
A/N: No Potions Masters were harmed during the writing of this fic.