Memories, a harry potter fanfic

A/N: This is my first Harry Potter fanfic just to let everyone know. I don't want flames as reviews and I am telling you now: flames will be deleted.

Thank you and enjoy!

RATING: 15+

Remembering

I thought I was in love with him and only him. I remember when we stood there in the tower where he kissed my lips and whispered in my ear "I love you," his hot breath against my skin. His hands snaked around my waist while my arms rested around his neck. We stood there for what seemed like for hours. I didn't want to let go of him as of that point, and neither did he by the way he was kissing me. When I received my letter of acceptance from Hogwarts, it was a sign of hope and relief for me. I wouldn't be surrounded by my father when I would go to my hew home. Freedom was what I wanted, and freedom was what I got.

Secret Lust

There's this aggression and appeal that Malfoy has, and it attracted me to him. It all started during my first year at Hogwarts when I first glanced at him, then making a second glance; which he caught and glanced back. His sleek platinum-blond hair neatly combed back. He looked so cute, but mysterious. I was sorted into Gryffindor, but that didn't matter much. Our relationship over the past five years had been a love-hate relationship; but deep down I thought I actually loved him. Year after year I grew more attracted to him, and I knew he could tell as well. Harry, Ron, and Hermione never knew about my thing for Malfoy. Those three would never understand if I tried to explain it to them. So i kept quiet about it. Hermione and I always did out homework together, along with Harry and Ron too. Ron would always have to ask Hermione for her help hearing them two laughing and giggling while Harry and I would quietly work trying hard to not laugh.

Young Love

As time went on, Harry and I went places together when we attended there. He took me on some dates, and yes, I did begin to fall in love with him. He was a true gentleman indeed. Harry opened doors for me, helped me into my seat...you name it. It made me love him more. I began to wonder if he felt the same. But a few months later, he took me to the gardens outside and we walked around chatting about regular things. Then he asked me: "What do you think about me?"

I turned to him looking at his face. Harry was a wonderful person. "You are a brave, courageous, and loving guy." Then I pushed myself up and brushed my lips against his. I was scared that he wouldn't kiss me back, my heart would be broken. Harry did the opposite. His hand rested by my cheek and he kissed me back, making our kiss more passionate. His arm trailed down to my waist and stayed there. My hand began to play with his brown hair. We broke our kiss. That was my first kiss, and it was his too. I never felt so high before. Was this what love felt like? If it was, then I prayed that it wouldn't stop. "I love you." I whispered into his ear and then my eyes rested on his. Our blue eyes gazed into each other, feeling like we could stay there forever. This was the best day of my life.

Flattery

When the trio and I walked to our classes everyday, Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle would do his usual teasing and taunting on the three of them. Luckily I didn't get a lot of nonsense from him and his gang. A few times when I was doing school work alone, Draco would drop a piece of paper by me or on my books. They would say things such as "your hair looks nice... you should wear it like more often." Flattering comments. Pansy watched Malfoy more often after she found another note he was going to give to me in class. But she didn't keep it, that surprised me. During classes it was me and Hermione sitting at a desk with Ron and Harry in front of us. Malfoy and Crabbe were next to us. Twice he sent me notes by turning it into an origami bird. "Meet me in the tower after class," I froze for a moment. Was this a trick? Was he going to hex me or something? Wait, I haven't done anything to him, yet. I trusted my gut and decided to take his advice.

Biggest Mistake

I remember walking up the stairs to the tower away from my common room. I was hoping Harry or them weren't following me, I had my wand, so I was prepared for the worst. When I turned the doorknob and opened the door, there stood Malfoy sitting on top of a table Indian-style dangling what it looked like a piece of jewelry: a pendant of some sort? When I coughed, he looked up and stared straight into my deep blue eyes. I saw his eyes, his beautiful gray silver eyes. They looked like moons. I didn't know what to expect, but he looked...vulnerable? He didn't look arrogant, well...the opposite. It was as if his shield was lifted. His guard was lowered. He walked up to me and that was when it all began.

"Why am I here, Malfoy?" I said, glaring into his eyes.

"I need to tell you something. It's important, to me it is." Then he grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. No anger was found in his eyes, none whatsoever. It looked like...love? "I...I... Well, I know we aren't very close; I harass Potter and your friends, but I hardly do those things to you."

"I'm well aware of that, Malfoy." I crossed my arms around my chest and leaned against the door.

"Um...OK look; I have never done this before...but I want you to wear this pendant." Then he showed me the green pendant in front of my own eyes. It was exquisite and a fine piece of jewelry. He's a Malfoy, i remembered; he's got a lot of money. "This was my grandmothers."

My eyes widened. "Malfoy! Why would I do such a thing? My friends despise you. You do understand that, do you?"

"Why would you tell them?" He moved towards me and cornered up against the wall.

"I..." I lost my train of thought. Then I looked back at him. "Malfoy?"

"Yes?"

"Do you...like me?"

"Define 'like'." He brushed his lips against my cheek as he caressed my right cheek with his hand.

"Some attraction or something?" I then didn't know what I was saying. I was totally confusing myself. What the hell was I doing?

"Well, it's like a fluttering where sometimes I can't breath and I want to be sick." His hand released me finally.

"Butterflies?" I choked at my sentence. Was this true? Draco, the Draco Malfoy was actually in love, or was it just a mere crush? There's only one way I'm going to have to find out I guess. "Fascinating."

"What?" He lifted an eyebrow.

"I just find it incredible that you fancy a Gryffindor like myself. You are in Slytherin. Don't you even care about our separation?" I digged my fingers into his robe.

"Let me explain, Harrison. I get this tingling sensation when I am near you. My temperature rises, I can't sit still. And you are very attractive."

I smirked. "Thank you for the compliment, Mr. Malfoy. But will you get on with the point already? I don't have my whole life."

I began to move my way towards the door when I heard those three words: "I love you." I turned around, shocked and surprised. What was Harry going to say about this?

"Draco..." I shook my head and slunk into a nearby chair. "Why are you doing this to me? I already love Harry. You know that!"

"You don't need that...half-blood. Weasely is nothing... and that mudblood-" I was outraged.

"Don't you call Hermione that you filthy son of a-" I then felt Malfoys lips against mine. His hands grabbed my waist. I tried to refuse, but he had me pinned against the chair and I was trapped, again. It was no use. I let the Slytherin kiss me and touch me. I told myself Harry would never find out about this happening. It would kill him if he knew...

Full Circle

After that day, nothing was the same. Everyone was the way I left them that day. Harry and I had been a couple for six months. Malfoy and I were an item, but not in public. After dark I would meet him in different places where we exchanged kisses, touching in places even Harry haven't been yet. I knew it wasn't right to be in this position, loving two guys. But I couldn't help it! Harry was everything I could ever ask for in a guy. Draco was that aggression and seductive guy I needed. I needed both of them. Even thought I was in love with Harry, I came back running back to Draco for more. Harry and I would trade kisses so innocent and beautiful. Ron and Hermione were happy. Everyone was blind. I couldn't let these two guys to: they meant too much to me. It has been six months since that night between Draco and I. Every day it killed me little by little knowing what my friends didn't know what I was really up to.

Found Guilty?

"Ha!" Pansy appeared from behind the wall with red beaming across her face. "I knew there was something going on between you and Draky-poo!"

"Have you lost your mind, Pansy?" I said coolly, not wanting to break character.

"You and Draky have been sneaking around and doing...stuff. I saw you and him kissing and everything! You know I like him! You are a whore!"

I threw daggers at her with my glare. "If it were true, what would you do? You have no proof." I held my head high and walked away from the disgusting Slytherin girl. No one would believe her. She's insane and crazy as it is already. I swear, Pansy Parkinson is a little dog-faced bitch.

Boiling Hormones

Draco lead me to a room where no one would find us or even think about finding us there. It had books, windows, chairs, a table, and a...bed. We spent the next hour kissing non-stop. His lips traveled around my neck, my cheekbone, my jaw, and he made his way to my chest. We had discarded half of our clothes that now rested on the old red chair. I was only wearing my shear white lace bra and panties. But I surprised him by wearing stockings, and my garter belt. He grew more excited with very little clothing that we were wearing. He was in boxers, and only boxers. His abs were rip and delicious when I ripped his shirt off. I motioned him towards the bed behind us and he knew immediately what was going to happen. He pinned my hands above my head as his lips grazed around my body. Draco looked at me, asking me if I was ready. This was it, the point of no return. We could have decided not to go through with it. But I assured him it was ok, then moments later we were naked and I felt a stabbing kind of pain throughout my body. He took his time, which was unbearable. It hurt at first, but then pleasure took over my body. It was to be the beginning of a long and scandalous sexual night, and it was.

Useful Words

"Professor Dumbledore, may I speak with you for a moment?" I entered his office nervously. He turned to see me and smiled warmly at me.

"Of course, Miss. Harrison. What is it you wish to talk to me about?" He sat in his chair and looked up at me. I suddenly felt tears forming, so I blinked them away, or at least I tried to...but he already noticed. He stood from his chair and walked over to me. The Headmaster put a hand on my shoulder. "I sense there is something bothering you." I nodded. "Do you wish to tell me?"

"I...It's just..." I didn't know how to say it. How was I going to tell someone that I stabbed Harry in the back while he stayed the way he was when I first feel in love with him. Everything looked the same, nothing undone...nothing rearranged. Like it was six months ago, a happy time, before Malfoy placed a spell on me. "I've messed up, a lot." After that everything exploded, pouring out of me my true feelings: desperation, hurt, scared, confused...etc. Somehow I knew he understood.

He gave me the best advice anyone had given me in a long time: "Once you look inside your heart, you will know immediately who you love." When I left his office, I found myself feeling less confused as I was when I first walked in there. I then took the green pendant, yanked it off my neck and used one of my spells to dispose of it. I was feeling more weight lifting my shoulder each minute. But when I would see Malfoy again, everything would be over and done with.

Find Your Way Back

"How could you?" Hermione hissed. It was too late to move on and forget about my past. Looked like they knew already.

"I'm sorry about everything, alright?!" I hollered, my lips tense and my body shaking. Ron was embracing her as she tried to make her way towards me.

"How could you?" Ron said.

"You wouldn't understand...no one would."

I turned around and walked out of our common room. I wanted to runaway from everything, my problems. Pansy blackmailed me and showed everyone that I was a two-timer. They would look at me, snare, or ignore me. My life was perfect all those months ago; even when my secret was just a secret, only concealed infatuation that on one even thought was true or even thought of. No one knew, and now everything was unraveling, my reputation was tarnished...and Malfoy isn't the one to fully blame. I didn't think twice about my actions in the past, now I have to feel what it is like to be stung. Harry couldn't even look at me, nor bring himself to even talk to me, making me explain myself. What was I thinking bringing myself into this position? My answer: I wasn't thinking.

I brought myself into the forest not too far from the castle, hoping to be alone. I made my way to a rock and sat on it as tears strolled down my cheeks, crying and sobbing hysterically. How could have I been so foolish? I thought I was alone, but I was alarmed to see Harry pull his cloak away from his body. He took a seat beside me and looked at me with his blue eyes.

"What are you doing here? I thought we were done with?" I began to wipe the tears from my face. I didn't know if I could bear to look at him after what I did to him. But I had to face my fears. "You should be with Hermione and Ron." I hugged my legs against my chest.

"I still love you, Avery. But it still hurts..." He looked down.

"I know, and I am very sorry. Really...nothing should have happened the way it did."

"You left me blind, Avery! I never knew or anything."

I couldn't say anything. What could I say? Sorry for cheating on you with Draco Malfoy? I deeply regret even bringing my lips against Malfoy's. He was the poison and unfortunately I drank the poison and things went downhill from there.

"They will never forgive me after doing something like that." I said blankly. I was right; Hermione and Ron would never speak another word to me as long as I lived.

"In time they will." I looked at him in disbelief.

"What would make you say that?"

'Everyone makes mistakes, Avery; no one's perfect. But this one will take more time, but I love you."

"I'm amazed, to be honest." I shook my head in pity. "You still feel the way you do." Harry placed his hands on my head and kissed me softly. Was this the end? Or was it the beginning... I still love you.

Things were looking up.

Epilogue

I woke up in a big white room with the sun beaming into the bedroom. When I turned my body on my side, I saw his face...his beautiful eyes closed while his chest rose and fell while he slept. I kissed the man on the lips while he kissed me back subconsciously. The sheets covered my waist down while he covered himself to his nose. He indeed love his beauty rest. Everything was worth it, I had gotten my life back under control, things were perfect, more perfect than I expected it to be. Amazing is all I can say when I looked at my wedding ring.

He opened his eyes and found himself staring into ocean colored eyes: mine. "Morning beautiful."

I moved closer to him and kissed his moist lips. "Good morning Mr. Potter."