Took me a while to get the last half of this out, but I'm rather pleased with it. Enjoy!


My Kind of Crazy

"Dr. Banner," the woman, presumably Pepper Potts, greeted, holding out her hand. He cautiously shook it. "It's wonderful to meet you. Tony hasn't stopped talking about you."

"Oh?"

"Nothing but good things, I assure you," she said. Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Okay, well, there were a few bad things in there, of course, but nothing we can't look past. Please, make yourself comfortable, Tony should be up any minute."

Pepper disappeared from sight, but Bruce hardly noticed. He was too busy taking in his surroundings, staring in awe at the view of the ocean, at the architecture of the house, at the art that lined the walls. For a moment, he considered just how much damage he could do if he had an incident, but then recalled that Tony had a record of destroying the place on a pretty regular basis.

"Hey, Big guy," a voice said from behind him. He turned to see Tony smiling brightly at him, through a layer of grease and soot that covered most of his face and upper torso.

"What happened to you?" Bruce asked.

"This? Oh, just a little fire in the lab. Dummy's taking care of it."

"Dummy?"

"One of the robots."

"… One of?"

Tony's grin grew. He grabbed Bruce's hand and pulled him in the direction of his lab.

If Bruce had thought the rest of the house was amazing, Tony's lab was Disney Land. Disney Land that was slightly covered in foamy, white fire suppressant.

"This is amazing," Bruce said after a moment. If possible, Tony's smile grew even more.

"I thought you'd like it," he said as Bruce began playing with some of the toys lying around.

"What have you been working on?"

"The Mark VIII," Tony said. "The VII was damaged beyond repair, but I had JARVIS patch up the VI in case of emergencies."

"Need any help?"

"Always."

"When I offered my assistance, you told me to sod off," JARVIS said stiffly.

"Well, maybe I just like Brucey more than I like you."

"I don't doubt it, sir."

"You jealous?" Tony teased.

"Very much, sir."

Bruce let out a laugh. "He always like this?"

"Pretty much," Tony said. "Don't worry though, it really is a loving relationship, isn't it JARVIS?"

"Yes, sir." If it were possible for an AI to sound sarcastic, this one did.

Tony smiled and turned to Bruce. "Shall we?"

Bruce nodded and the two of them got to work, chatting sometimes, while sometimes enjoying a comfortable silence. However, after a while, Bruce began to notice that Tony would look up from his work every few minutes and just stare at Bruce. When Bruce would look back at him, he would return to his work, as if he'd been doing nothing out of the ordinary.

"What?" Bruce finally asked.

"Hmm?" Tony replied, looking up at him.

"You keep staring. Why?"

"Oh. Um…" It was unlike Tony to be at a loss for words. "I was just wondering if you Hulk out during sex."

Bruce gave him an odd look. Of all the things he was expecting to come out of his mouth, that had been nowhere near the list.

"Umm… no," he said. "It's just… no."

"Okay then," Tony replied with a grin, before returning to his work. But it was only a few minutes before he resumed his staring game.

"Now what?" Bruce asked. They weren't going to get any work done if this continued.

"Well," Tony said. "It's just that, watching you work is kind of a major turn on."

Bruce was completely taken aback. "Wh-What?"

Then, Tony, because he was Tony, kissed him.

"Bad?" he asked, half wincing as though he'd surely done something wrong. But then, Bruce was kissing him, so maybe he'd done something right.

It was only when Tony started to unbutton Bruce's shirt that he pulls away, suddenly unsure.

"What?" Tony asked, frowning.

"Pepper," Bruce said. Pepper and Tony have a perfect relationship, they're wonderful and beautiful, and then there's Bruce, who was all kinds of not-wonderful and not-beautiful, and he couldn't be the one to ruin Pepper and Tony, even if he really fucking wanted this.

"She doesn't mind," Tony said, kissing him again. Bruce clearly wasn't sure what to make of that. "If it'll make you feel better, we can call her in to join us. Or she can just watch. Your call."

Bruce was pretty sure he'd just stepped into the weirdest relationship ever, but somehow, he didn't really mind.