Draw a circle, that's the earth. Draw a circle, there's the earth. What a wonderful world that can be seen with a stroke of a single brush. Where dreams come true and love lasts forever, I am…
I am? Who am I? I can't even remember anymore. I am so cold. I can't breathe, I can't think. It's dark, but wasn't it daytime a few moments ago..? This is how I die, I realized suddenly. I will die here, cold and alone. Being pulled apart by the rushing current, being frozen by the winter wind. All I can think of now is my life, my lost love, my adorable niece…My brother. All these people, I am leaving behind. Somehow, I am not saddened by this. I gave the opportunity up to save others, to let them have the life I wasted. I can't help but think that none of this would be happening to me if I had never gotten on this plane, if I had never got this damned office job, if I had never left her that day thirty years ago…
I was twenty years old when I met her. At first, I thought nothing of her. She was very energetic, bubbly. She was a little bit of a flake, and yet…she was so artistic. She could talk for hours about DaVinchi, or Picasso. Then, she would make me the best Italian pasta there was. She always ended up eating most of it, but what could I do? She was so darned cute…
Now, in the great jaws of death, I can't even force myself to remember her whole name. I had always called her Feli. The last time I saw Feli, was when I was twenty three years old. I had just graduated college, and I was going to apply for a position in a place in Washington D.C. I told Feli the news, but she looked anything but happy.
"Luddy…" She had said. I can't fathom where she came up with that nickname, "I'm very happy for you but…I can't go with you. I can't leave here. Living here in Arizona is all I've ever known…" Despite the fog in my head, I can still remember her soft voice. She had an accent…Italian, maybe? I wanted her to come with me, I begged her. But she wouldn't listen to me. She said she loved me, but she couldn't leave…I had been angry. After all we had been through…
In my final moments, I thought of my brother. He was ten years younger than me, our parents having me at a young age, and his daughter was only about five. He had waited to have a child, mainly because his wife is young. He is forty-one, while she is only thirty. They met six years ago and it was love at first sight. Their daughter, Emily, loves me…He was actually going to visit them in Florida when the plane crashed….Emily would be so upset….
As his breath slowed, and his heart fluttered, he thought of his beloved Feli. The man in the water smiled as his life faded, for he was now at peace. He could have the one he loved in spirit next to him as he passed. Ludwig was never seen after that day. No one even recognized him, his bright blue eyes faded, his blonde hair gone, and with a mustache that he never had before. But one person knew who he was.
When Abbey turned on the television, she felt her blood run cold. She pulled her locket over her head and opened it. She looked back and forth from the fuzzy picture of the man in the water to the black and white picture in her necklace. Her hands shook. She couldn't believe it…It couldn't be…!
"Mom!" She cried out. Her mother jumped, startled by her middle aged daughter's outburst. She ran into the living room, surprised that a forty-nine year old woman could run that fast.
"Abbey!? What's wrong!? What happened!?" Abbey pointed to the television with a shaky hand. The man's face was still plastered on the fuzzy screen. The old woman gasped and fell to her knees.
"No…no…It's not true…." She gasped and started to sob. Abby numbly held her mother, she had always wanted to meet her estranged father, and now she knew it was impossible.
Abbey and Feli sat like that for hours, sobbing and asking God why he would take Ludwig away from them. Why couldn't he have brought Ludwig to them before snatching him away? Why did his life have to end?
Draw a circle, there's the earth. The dark and lonely earth. Look right there, it is the earth! I am in heaven now…Draw a circle, there's the earth. The world I have left behind. Look, it is the earth! I am Ludwig Beldishmidt…